Psychology 409b, November 22, 2005

My Ninth Outline of Assigned Readings

This is a Presentation of

By Christina Ramirez

Are You Following the Rules?

 

Rules for a Perfect Marriage by Pat Gaudette.  Internet article originally presented by Brittany Tenneson

http://divorcesupport.about.com/cs/avoidingdivorce/a/aa030301.htm


Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/409b-g23-oral.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

 

I.  The Golden Rule

  1. Pat Gaudette believes that a marriage should first follow the golden rule.  This rule states “Do on to others as you would have them do onto you”.  This rule is practiced in many cultures and religions.  You are doing to someone that you would like him or her to do to you.  So if you cheat on your spouse than he should cheat on you so you can feel his pain.
  2. This rule can fall into the dominance and equity model.  When I think of you give what you get, I think equity.  If a couple decided to give each other their own medicine they are not conjoining internally and only externally.  They are unable to reach the unity model if they continue to practice this rule.
  3. I believe the rule do on to others but I don’t think that it should be practiced in a marriage.  All relationships are important but I believe that a marriage is sacred.  I am not able to put other relationships and marriages into the same category of rules.

 

II.  The Survival Rule

  1. The survival rule is when we use our survival instincts to pursue happiness without material possessions or someone telling what to do.  She believes that you must be true to yourself and trust your own judgment.  Your spouse should be willing to work with you when there is a conflict and couples should compromise.
  2. If a couple works through disagreements and comes to a decision through compromise than they are in the equity model.  This model agrees with the agree to disagree statement.  To enter the unity model the husband must agree with the wife and her beliefs.
  3. I chose this topic because I practice compromising in my relationship.  It is easier to come to an agreement rather than solve the issue.  I didn’t really understand why she wanted to call it survival but I believed that through compromise we are surviving.

 

III.  The Successful Marriage

  1. In order for couples to have successful marriages they must make listen, understand and work together.  The division of household duties and be willing to take on duties when the other is unable to do so.  You must also recognize when there is a problem and work to fix the problem.
  2. When a couple wants their marriage to be successful they can be in any of the three models.  The only way they can be in the unity model is if they both chose to be conjoined internally. 
  3. I want my marriage to be successful and I work hard to make sure that it is.  I only hope that I can one day be conjoined internally because I know that I am conjoined externally, but I know that is not enough.

 

 

My Home Page:                       http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2005/ramirez/homepage.htm

 

The G23 Class Home Page:      http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/classhome-g23.htm

 

Related Websites

Marriage Survival

 http://www.startum.com/marriagesurvival.htm

 

Four Rules for a Successful Marriage

 http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html

 

Prescription for a Successful Marriage

 http://www.family.org/married/youngcouples/a0019162.cfm