Report
2:
My Understanding of the Unity
Model of Marriage
By Jackie Rowe
Instructions for this report are at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/409b-g23-report2.htm
I am answering Questions 2, 3, 7,11 and 14.
Question 2: (a) Contrast the four views of gender relationships
expressed by Tannen in Gender Issues, Schlessinger in The Proper Care
and Feeding of Husbands, Coleman in The Lazy Husband, and Swedenborg
in Conjugial Love. (b) Your analysis should also include a chart or
table that shows the differences between the four books in a systematic way.
(c) As well, give your personal opinion on the elements or entries in your
chart. (d) How do your own views compare to what’s in the chart? (e) How are
your ideas influenced by each of these four three different perspectives on
marriage? (f) Anything else you have to say.
A. The four views we studied in class can be compared by
the following: Linguistics and communication styles between males and females
by Deborah Tannen; traditional/male-centered relationship coaching by Laura
Schlessinger; male-focused/female advice on why husbands are lazy by Joshua
Coleman; and a unity based, spiritually-enlightened way of reaching the utmost
capacity of heavenly love with your partner by Emanuel Swedenborg.
B.
|
MODEL |
DOMINANCE M/F |
EQUITY |
AFFECTIVE/COGNITIVE
UNITY |
AUTHOR |
|||
Dr. Laura |
YES;MALE |
NO |
YES COGNITIVE |
|
Dr. Tannen |
NO |
YES |
YES COGNITIVE |
|
Dr. Coleman |
YES;MALE |
YES |
YES COGNITIVE |
|
Swedenborg |
NO |
NO |
YES AFFECTIVE |
C. Each view above, represents a given stance on
relationships. America (as we know) is a male-dominated society and Dr. Laura
together with Dr. Coleman represent us well in that department. Most of their views
altogether explain the woman needing to meet the man’s needs and in return; the
woman will get her needs met. This may be a similar view from the Unity model
because returning means to reciprocate. However, Swedenborg’s is the only unity
model while Tannen doesn’t really take a side.
D. In comparison to my own views and this chart; they
agree and don’t agree at the same time. All respects to Swedenborg; his
theistic views of psychology are very enlightening yet hard to come by in this
see it to believe it world. Along with that, even though Dr. Laura and Dr.
Coleman have male-dominating views; it’s what most Americans have been brought
up with in their homes. I do not agree with all supplications of their models
but I do with others.
However, the chart
is useful in identifying myself and other women’s viewpoints for men and
behaviors that contradict meeting our emotional intimacy. The women I
interviewed seemed to have similar complaints that I did. This goes to show
that many of us desire the same needs; but I also understand that my interviews
were limited to my friends and the few people who I chose to question.
E. As much as I did not want each of these ideas to
influence the way I view relationships; they have and for the better. I am now
more educated on different views of prominent psychologists who counsel
thousands of people in America. And my knowledge was also broadened by getting
introduced to the works of Emanuel Swedenborg; whom myself neither anyone I
know has ever heard of.
F. Something I would like to suggest is, that I wish we
could have covered a more, broad, span of views. I know that dominance, equity
and unity are what make up the relationship views; but I think labeling the
categories as such puts a limiting factor as to what we were able to included
or exclude. However, I did consider the fact that we only had a few months
together. And anymore reading would
have blew us through the roof, not to mention all of my other classes!
Question 3: A husband and wife seem to get along real well
together, enjoying the same activities, having fun, being popular with friends,
etc. Then they have a fight over some disagreement and they show disrespect and
hatred for each other.
(a) Explain why this turnabout can happen and what is its
cause. Be sure to use some aspect of the theory given in the Lecture Notes.
(b) (b) Discuss how married partners can reverse this
flip-flop cycle so that it never occurs again. In your explanation be sure to
apply the unity model, the threefold self, and the conjoint
self, as explained in the Lecture Notes.
(c) The unity model says that men are resistant to mental
intimacy and to conjugial unity. Collect data to either confirm or disconfirm
this prediction. Interview several women of varying ages (to the extent
possible). Make up a checklist consisting of 10 to 20 items that highlight what
the women have said about their experiences with men's resistance to intimacy.
Discuss the list and what it can be used for
(d) Anything else
you have to say.
A. In analyzing a couple and their fight containing
disagreement and hatred, the Unity model of marriage can be used to intervene
this situation. A disagreement between two married people could’ve started
because one person did not feel that their needs were being met. According to
the unity model of marriage, we have three levels of self the sensorimotor,
cognitive and affective. Our cognitive self contains our feelings and thoughts.
And when women have mental distress, their cognitive self is being bombarded
which makes it impossible for the couple to achieve unity together.
If the ultimate
goal of every relationship is conjoining at the inmost level and achieving
unity; you’d think that motives in a relationship would be highly apparent and
everyone would want to conjoin. But unfortunately, human beings were not wired
to work that way. And conjoining is a difficult concept to grasp. Especially
since we live in a man’s world. It’s like trying to get water to flow from a
rock; just not possible.
B. However, if the couple wanted to reverse this trend
and not allow anger and hatred to pervade their relationship, they could carry
out steps from the unity model of marriage. Since it is a man’s world, through
differentiation and reciprocity the couple will be able to sort out their
differences. As the man chooses to please his wife and enter the next level of
relationship; together they can achieve unity through understanding what the
partner wants and does not want and totally avoiding this situation altogether.
And continue on into the conjoint self.
Aside
from being united in the sensorimotor, cognitive and affective self, the
conjoined self in the unity model is the principle issue a couple should make
as their goal. As the couple learns from their mistakes and commits to not
allowing the problem to arise again; the relationship is then allowed to move
up another level. As I explained earlier, conjoining would be very ideal but
also very difficult. In order to flip-flop the usual cycle of normal,
equity-based relationships the couple must closely follow the steps to
achieving unity through differentiation and reciprocity.
C. Since men are resistant to mental intimacy and
conjugial unity, the following predicts just that. In class we have learned
that women are loved by receiving mental intimacy. There are various ways in
which men can portray intimacy to women. When a woman is not being met on an
intimate level; this hinders the couple from conjoining.
Women, being
sensitive, nurture-seeking companions have an innate need to feel supported and
appreciated and loved. Simple acts of kind gestures are usually what win us
over; but it’s almost as if men were made to do the total opposite. That said,
the following list describes ways in which men do not appeal to a woman’s
fulfillment of intimacy.
The list I compiled was not made just to bash
on the male population; but to clarify simple things that women would like done
or (not) have done for or to them so
that they can feel emotionally intimate in a relationship. I suggest looking at
the list as constructive criticism rather than another excuse to argue.
Women’s Views on Men’s Resistance
to Intimacy
Checklist
|
Unable to communicate his feelings |
Expects me to be happy when he’s grouchy |
|
Dismisses the importance of special occasions |
Makes me feel like a maid; not a wife |
|
Acts differently in front of friends |
Doesn’t make time to talk in-depth |
|
Doesn’t show enough affection |
Works way too much |
|
Forgets to call |
Getting his undivided attention is rare |
|
Forgets to show up |
Is dominating in speech, and mannerism |
|
Wants to have sex; not make love |
Is easily agitated when exhausted and hungry |
|
Wants me to like sports; but wont come shopping |
Does not appreciate the roles I need to fulfill |
|
Doesn’t do household chores |
Has a frightening temper; makes himself unapproachable |
|
Expects me to have dinner made nightly |
|
|
Won’t change diapers; says it’s a woman’s job |
|
D. Although the table seemingly ‘bashes’ the male
population; I cannot say this is true for all men. Or that it applies to every
single situation. Varying factors like just not knowing what makes the partner
feel intimate can be the prevailing cause. A simple communication can overcome
this barrier. However, in extreme cases like physically abusive relationships,
then those kinds of acts are unacceptable and should not be tolerated.
Question 7:
(a) Analyze the book The Proper Care and
Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger, summarizing its perspective, and
discussing the author’s philosophy or psychology of relationships between men
and women. (b) Find 10 brief quotes from what the husbands wrote, analyzing
each one, showing the character of their threefold self. Use the unity model in
the Lecture Notes to characterize the threefold self of the husbands that wrote
to her. (c) How do you see Dr. Laura's approach and what is your evaluation of
it? (d) Anything else you have to say.
A. In analyzing doctor Laura’s book, there
is an abundant supply of quotes and interviews from husband and wives who
called in to vent their problems. Doctor Laura offers practical advice that
usually suggests the women appreciate their husbands more and just suck it up
if they have to. The following describes ten, short quotes from men who
commented and sought advice from Dr. Laura.
B. 1. “there are a few things men want so
bad they would do anything for it. I think a good number of men want respect
more than love.”- Edgar
I’m not really sure what Edgar was talking
about when he refers to the few things that men want they would do anything
for; but I think I could take a pretty good guess. However, the part where he
says that they would want respect more than love totally disregards the main
reason a woman lives. She wants to be loved by a man; not just there to respect
him. In the three-fold self, Edgar would totally need to reassess his cognitive
thought patterns.
Edgar was not only displaying your typical
male behavior but portraying an attitude that puts distress upon a woman by not
meeting her emotional intimacy needs.
2.
“Whatever happened to sweetness? If you act like a B…. then you will be treated
like a B….”- Clifford
Clifford had e-mailed doctor Laura about a
bitchy girlfriend; he was obviously fed up. His slandering comments were
totally dominating in words and he was being insensitive to his girlfriends
needs. Clifford needs to graduate from the corporeal mentality that focuses on
physical goals and satisfactions and stop focusing on his girlfriends
reactions; but on her mental distress. Then he will understand why she feels
the way she does and they both will be happier.
3. “ I can’t do justice to the efforts that
I have made to salvage a relationship that should be the cornerstone of our
family, but is instead a millstone around my neck.”- Ray
Ray is feeling distressed and anguished due
to his wives responsibilities around the house. He complained of feeling
depressed and neglected due to her household duties. I think Ray was
experiencing these feelings because he is stuck in the corporeal, affective
state. His thoughts and actions became governed by the expectations of tradition
and the family roles. Ray got frustrated at his wife who was simply carrying
out her duties as wife and mother. Ray still needs to learn to coordinate with
his wife and try to align his feelings with hers.
This will allow them not to feel competitive
either between each other or with the kids. And both Ray and his wife will feel
closer.
4. “ I began to reflect on what my weekend
held, and you guessed it; I was about to neglect our ‘Friday date night’.- Luke
As Ray began making excuses on missing date night
with his wife, tossed in his mind were two highly important things: keeping a
commitment to his wife or bailing out on her and studying. The two things are
highly important; but in a marriage you have to really set your priorities. In
normal equity or dominant relationships, one might say that school is very
important and you have to do what you have to do.
However, in the unity model the marriage is
sacred and any commitments made with each other cannot be broken. Missing
something like date night could really tear apart the relationship. So what Ray
ended up doing, was studying as much as he could; then told his wife to get
ready because they were going out. Surprisingly, Dr. Laura even agreed on this
one and responded to Ray that he did a job well done!
5. “not only do most wives look like mothers
most of the time…but they forget to slip into wife mode, woman mode, lover mode
companion mode during private moments with their husbands.” –Ken
This one sounds a lot like one I’ve heard
before about women having to fulfill their household responsibilities and not
having time for their husbands. Dr. Laura commented that his wife may be too
busy ‘whipping him into shape so that her world is ordered.’ Rather than
supporting the woman in her distress, Dr. Laura takes the dominant role and
suggests the woman stop taking the mans role by being the ‘take charge’ one so
that he can lead.
I
guess Dr. Laura just wants women to be women and that’s all. But sometimes the
demands of living just don’t allow women to fully uphold Dr. Laura’s
expectations. That’s why in the unity model, if a man can see the needs of his
wife; he not only takes away her mental distress but his at the same time.
6. “ I want to be admired. I want to be
acknowledged for being the breadwinner and making sure that we are all well and
taken care of.”- Evan
With Evan, it is obvious that he loves do be
the “alpha” male. Dr. Laura goes on to explain that women become too wrapped up
in their own expectations on family and household duties that they lose sight
of their husbands’ existence. Dr. Laura even explains that the “only reason
married women make it is because of the service of their husbands!”
Evan’s desire to be the breadwinner and be
admired will greatly hinder their marriage from entering into unity. Until Evan
learns to even be equal with his wife and hopefully graduate to wanting to know
her on the affective level; he will not be able to conjoin with his wife.
7. “ The number one thing I want from my
woman is to stop complaining.”- Bruce
Dr. Laura begins by saying, “Bruce is right
on.” The dominance model is clearly shown here and Dr. Laura totally supports
it. She goes on to explain that the biggest gripe of men on women is that they
criticize them. However, according to the unity model women need emotional
intimacy and Bruce is only adding to her mental distress by not helping or
understanding why she feels the way she feels. If Bruce can’t overcome his
dominant male nature; his relationship with women will forever be ruled by his
ego.
Bruce will never be happy and the women he
dates will always get hurt.
8. “ I told her, men aren’t bright enough to
drive and think at the same time.”- John
John made a big mistake by saying this
because he just told his girlfriend that men are dumb. Not only did he totally
destroy what he tried to stand up for; but he ended up hurting the one he
didn’t want to. John, like many of Dr. Laura’s clients adhere to the dominant
model of relationships. And in a world like America where rugged jocks and
beer-drinking construction workers run the show are adored…of course it seems
right.
9. “I’m just supposed to listen; which is
what she wants.” –Robert
Of all the comments posted by Dr. Laura’s
clients Robert seemed to be the closest to achieving unity. However, he was not
close enough. Listening was the first step; it allowed him to surpass the
dominance model and escalate to characteristics of the equity model. However
the relationship still remains at the cognitive level because sometimes not
saying anything can almost be stonewalling (in extreme cases). If Robert really
had conjoining in mind; he would discover her problem and vow never to return
to it again.
10. “ It has been my experience…..that
today’s society insists that it is COMPLETELY THE MALES RESPONSIBILITY to learn
how to understand and communicate on a level that the female can comprehend and
digest…..and that positive improvements can ONLY occur if the husband is
willing to alter his very nature.”- Ken
And “voila!” if Swedenborg were alive today,
he would have had conjugial love on the spot; hearing about Ken! Even though
Dr. Laura, dominant biased as she may seem; she still agreed with Ken. Traditional roles are over with. The only
test left is to see if Ken can keep up this attitude and hold to the “everyday
I’m yours more and more.”
C. Evidently, we saw that Dr. Laura is
down-right for the dominant male population. Her views support male dominance
and female submission because men are like babies. They need to be fed and
cared for. Most of what Dr. Laura has to say stands along the lines of the
dominance and some of the equity views in relationships. However, according to
the unity model the relationship will reach a plateau and not grow deeper in
love and on to unity if the couple does not commit to conjoining.
Conjoining also involves the man being
sensitive to his partners’ needs and retracting from his set ways of dominance.
If the plateau does not occur, then it usually is the woman that is left
dissatisfied; her intimate needs not being met and or a divorce.
D.Even though most of what Dr. Laura talks
about seems so harsh and insensitive to her fellow females; I’d like to express
one point she may hold. After all the dominance-biased advice and views I
pondered the notion that- maybe Dr. Laura (knowing it is a man’s world) takes
this view because she believes that men won’t change so if women can understand
them; it would make life a whole world easier.
This is exactly the opposite of the unity
model; because in the unity model, it is a man’s world so they need to meet the
needs of the woman through commitment and conjunction.
Question 11:(a) Consider Tables 1a, 1b, 1c in the Lecture Notes,
which is in the Section called Sensorimotor, Cognitive, and
Affective Conjunction It shows how to construct an ennead
chart using the threefold self and the three levels of mentality creating the
preference for each model. One illustration is given in the area of sexual
behavior. (b) Explain what has been discussed in class and the Lecture Notes as
"sexual blackmail." Describe the development of your thinking
regarding this concept, from initial reaction to now. Collect some data on how
others you know react to this concept when you explain it to them. How do you
interpret their reactions and comments?(c) Copy Table 1c and replace the
characterization of each illustration (in each cell) into an example of your
own. Think of a couple you know in reality or from TV. The three tables should
cover these three topics:
(i) housework
(ii) jealousy, and
(iii) a third area of your own choosing. (c) Anything else you have to say.“My
Report on Previous Generations”
A. This past
semester in class, we not only talked about the unity model and its usefulness
in relationships; but we also talked about the sexual aspect of a marriage.
According to the lecture notes, the idea of sexual blackmail is an issue that
arises in many relationships at the dominant and or equity level. It can even
happen in the cognitive or sensorimotor levels of relationship since the couple
is still wavering back and forth trying to conjoin. Yet become enlightened in
their thinking from normal-equalitarian or dominant views.
Hence, the idea of
sexual blackmail could arise. Think of it as required sex. Like in one of my
charts earlier, I gave the complaint that men want to have sex and not make
love. Dr. Laura totally agrees with this notion; that if a man wants sex; just
give it to him despite what you feel like. She also notes women should be happy
that he even comes home to you. So sexual blackmail involves the solicitation
of sex with in a relationship from the opposite sex when it is not mutually
desired at the same level.
Most times, it
involves the women feeling obligated to please their husbands to have sex. It
has been said that men receive intimacy from sex and women give sex to get
intimacy. According to the unity model this is not only a total disgrace; but a
violation of the woman’s sacredness as the one who has the conjoining ability
within her. The woman may feel very humiliated, abused and manipulated. This
too adds to her mental distress and inhibits ennead growth.
Sexual blackmail
envelops a strong sense of moral failure to people who are involved in it. But
I believe it happens all too well in today’s relationships. At first I did not
quite see this principle in such an extreme light but now that I have had the
opportunity to discuss and share it with the students in class; I have come to understand
its severity.
My views on sexual
blackmail are similar to the unity notes from class. The only reserve I have is
the label it was given. For me, when I see the word blackmail I think of crime.
And although its not a crime according to the U.S Law; the violation it poses
against women could qualify itself.
When explaining
sexual blackmail to others; they at first get the same initial reactions I
experienced when I first heard the word. They initially are shocked and don’t
really know what to make of it. However, as I go on to explain its concepts and
details therein; it almost seems like a light went off in their head. Probably
the severity of the issue is not perceived wholly to the person I am explaining
it to because of their lack of exposure to the topic; but it still made them
aware to this sad- and yet all too common issue.
This is Table 1c on Al and Peggy Bundy from the sitcom series: Married with Children
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFO0LD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
level 3 |
7 |
8 N/A |
9 N/A |
|
level 2 |
4 |
5 |
6 AFFECTIVE |
|
level 1 |
1 Al is passive, insensitive and lazy; he never helps Peggy out |
2 Al’s thinking was that he was always better than Peggy |
3 |
C. Although Al and Peggy had a very odd relationship;
I’m sure there are many out there like it. Sounds pretty much like the
dominance model of marriage only it’s television so it’s funny and can be
laughed at. I evaluated Al and Peggy’s relationship along the lines of Al’s
laziness in housework, control and inaction; since jealousy wasn’t as apparent.
I did not fill in
the unity section of the sensorimotor and affective self because I just did not
feel like Al and Peggy had ever achieved it. I don’t even know if they should
be allowed in the equity level; but I will give them the benefit of a doubt. Al
did earn his way to the dominant level of relationship; hands down! By being
happy only when Peggy cooked for him and having sex; even though she never
wanted to.
This is another
reason why I wanted to examine Al and Peggy’s relationship because Al (being a
dominant male) constantly wanted to have sex. Peggy, however never wanted to
because it seemed as though she just was not attracted to him. Still, on
occasion Al would get his wish. It was a comical sitcom so I don’t know if it
was really sexual blackmail like the lecture notes described. However, if you
look at it plainly I think we can say Al put Peggy in a light form of sexual
blackmail.
Question 14 (a) Describe the unity model in relation to the eternal significance of marriage and the mental state of the couple's threefold self (b) Describe any resistance you have experienced regarding the unity model, including
(i) the idea of unity as a higher state of life than all
others
(ii) the eternal significance of marriage
(iii) Swedenborg's observations of marriages in heaven.
(c) Describe the reactions of friends when you tell them about the unity model and marriages in heaven. (d) How has the unity model influenced your thinking? What benefit do you think do class members acquire when studying the unity model in this course? (d) Anything else you have to say.
A. The unity model of marriage vies for an eternal vow
of marriage. Unlike the traditional marriage vow of ‘till death do us part’. In
the unity model of marriage, the couple is set into a journey into eternity.
The model is based upon the theistic psychological evidences of the eighteenth century
contemporary, Emanuel Swedenborg.
In his writings
and recollections of what he saw in the mental and spiritual realms of life;
Emanuel Swedenborg explained about each persons heaven and hells that we
constantly live in. It is within these parameters of mentality that the unity
model of marriage is branched out from.
When a couple
actually decides to commit to a relationship; most of them vacillate between
the dominant and equity views of marriage. However, in order for a couple to be
enlightened in their minds; they need to differentiate and reciprocate
mutually. More often than not it’s the males who need to be enlightened about
the needs of females.
Males usually want
to rule and conquer where as females need to be nurtured, cared for and protected.
If the men in the relationship do not learn how to graduate from the external
level of relationship and become enlightened to the unity level of conjunction;
then the relationship will not be able to flourish as it was meant to do so.
In going from the
dominance to the equity level the affective self composed of the sensorimotor
acts (your actions and what you do), your cognitive processes (what you think
and why) and your affective self ( the inmost self) all work together in
differentiating and reciprocating to the next level of mental enlightenment.
As the couple
learns to commit to each other no matter what they feel like, in order to put
the relationship first, they will be on their way to achieving unity.
Furthermore, with the notion of unity and a relationship at the affective
(inmost) self in mind, the couple will pave the way for their later prize… An
eternal marriage in their heavenly mind. This is why the notion of ‘till death
do us part’ is inadequate in the unity model of marriage.
And it is also why
this model of marriage is so different from all the other ones. The equity and
dominant models only allow marriage to be fulfilled in this life; but the unity
model allows the relationship to grow more and more in depth and love into
eternity. Whereas the dominance and equity models have a limited love capacity
according to the unity model.
B. As for my own, personal views about the unity model,
I have yet to experience it. I will make it clear that because I am a Bible
believing, God- loving follower of Jesus Christ, my views may already be
limited. However, I do appreciate the new knowledge. As for my views on the
unity model and resistance in accepting it; I have to admit is difficult.
However, to support
the model, my ideology of unity as a higher level of life than all others is
very small yet not far-fetched. Because I do have a spiritual background I do
not have any problem seeing its possibility. But, I know what I believe in is
real because I have experienced God changing my life first hand. And I can’t
say that I believe anything else can compare to Him.
C. As for my views on the eternal significance of
marriage, I can imagine it but do not believe it is so. Again, my views are
limited due to my beliefs but to me, God created heaven so that man could be
with him; not a wife. Although he blesses us with that relationship here on
earth. This totally goes against what the unity model and what Swedenborg
teaches but that is one of the reasons why I am biased.
It is true that
Swedenborg interpreted his findings from the Bible and described what he
believed as the correct interpretation. However, Swedenborg is only one person
and he only accounts for himself. The Bible on the other hand has lasted
throughout time. And yes, it may be proven scientifically but science stands
for an account of witnesses. Even the law requires a witness to approve or
disprove an indictment.
As for his theistic
view of psychology I highly respect the notion of bringing spirituality into
the education world. I think more of it is needed. And as far as I know about
Swedenborg from what we’ve covered in class, the marriages he witnessed in
heaven closely recall those in the book of Revelation. In fact, Swedenborg
actually corresponds to scripture. He explains that the marriage in heaven is
like that of Christ to His church.
A heavenly
marriage, sacred. Unity at its’
fullest. Man and woman are conjoined at the innermost level possible. They are
both spiritually enlightened and are constantly motivated to achieve mental
closeness. Swedenborg goes on to explain the dazzling garments people in their
heavens wear. And everything they experience while there. Everything is of
peace and joy.
It all sounds very
good; but just so hard to grasp. And as Dr. James explains its because we have
been conditioned to think a certain way. But when I attempt to talk about it to
friends, they are totally confused at what I am trying to say. Most people have
never ever heard of Emanuel Swedenborg. And then I explain his experiences
along with the heavenly mind; I receive a facial expression portraying entire
confusion and doubt.
Although my
understanding of Swedenborg’s experiences and accounts was not very convincing
it has contributed to my overall knowledge. I can say that I am satisfied with it
because of what it has instilled in me. I have a new appreciation for history
and theories that I do not know anything about. And there are things I admire
about the unity model. Especially that it serves to put the relationship first
no matter what.
That should be a
motivating factor in all relationships but unfortunately in the equity and
dominance model it does not allow for that. This leads me back to the statement
I made in the beginning about Dr. Laura and how she labels things. I believe
when you label items especially like this one, you limit its capacity. And yes,
the world needs labels because we would be chaotic without structure. But only
allowing three domains for human beings and their relationships to be defined
under creates boundaries.
A benefit to the
class for researching the unity model and Emanuel Swedenborg’s theistic
psychology is a deeper understanding of history, culture, psychology and
spirituality. I think the class benefited tremendously by Swedenborgs work and
we are now educationally enlightened because we have now been exposed.
Step 3:
Add a Section called "My Report on the
Previous Generation." Select 3 students from G22 and summarize what they
did for their Report 2. Their class folder is at: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2005/
My Report on the Previous Generation
Student 1: Leana Beard’s report looked
somewhat similar to mine. Her concepts and details were different but I noticed
that the format used last year was almost the same as this semester’s. I also
noticed that she also thinks our generation’s view of dating is pulled more
toward the equity view. I guess this just goes to show that the media, society
and whatever else implies pressure on relationships aren’t doing a very good
job to promote unity.
Student 2:
Wing Kin Fan’s report 2 had some really good, cultural points. It’s
obvious that he was used to the Asian-type of dominance relationship. Wing’s
report told me a lot about what types of different views there are out there.
In class we basically only talked about American people with American views and
American lifestyle. Although I don’t believe the unity model is fixed to only
our culture I think it would be really interesting to adapt this model cross-culturally.
Student 3: Nancy Miyake’s report 2 was very
informative and well understood. I liked how she did her part on “my advice to
future generations”. I think a lot of the points she brought up were
specifically related to how I felt during the course of this semester. Like the
focus requirements, I had no idea I would be writing this much. To me, this “W”
could be worth at least two; not just one.
Advice to Future Generations
Before
I close out, I’d like to implement my thoughts on my favorite part of all the
assignments…. “your personal thoughts” I have to say that Dr. James’ class was
an adventure. And when I say adventure, I mean surprising, stressful,
satisfying and even odd at times. First of all, it was my first time even
hearing about Emanuel Swedenborg and the unity model of marriage so just the
material was hard to grasp. Secondly, as a girl who grew up in Hawaii, knowing
what I know; I never even viewed relationships as dominant or equity. I simply
thought that’s just how people are. But now that I have learned about
relationships from a scholastic level in this class I’m eager to form my own
views and build upon my former ones.
As
far as the workload in this class, I agree with (I think) all the students who
take it. There is a lot of work and it requires good time-management skills;
which I found to be an area needing work in my life. However, I do not
discredit any of it because it made a big impact on my overall, undergraduate
education. These tools I’ve learned are sure to carry with me through out life
as I will be asked to perform similar tasks and carry out other online
procedures.
One
thing I will say is, that getting through this class will be a very good
accomplishment for your self and it is something everyone should be proud of.
Consider it a small step to graduating college!
My Class website:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/classhome-g23.htm
My website:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2005/rowe/home.htm