PSY 409B, 15 November 2005
My Third (2nd Presented) Outline of Assigned Readings
By Samantha Woo
Dr. Phil versus Dr. James

McGraw, Dr. Phil, http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/26, Ten Relationship Myths, 2 November 2005, 3:50 pm

Instructions for this activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/409b-g23-oral.htm 
Instructor: Dr. Leon James

I.                    “A Great Relationship Requires a Great Romance”

a.       Dr. Phil explains that romance should not depict a fairytale and that being in love with someone is not the same as falling in love for the first time.  A mature relationship will shift from infatuation to a deeper and more secure love.

b.      In the first level of the conjoint self, there can be a joint external love without the interior agreement and respect.  The second level does involve how both partners feel and think.

c.       I felt this myth is the hardest concept to throw away because, like many women, I am a sap for romantic happy endings to a movie or show.  It’s hard not to compare your relationship to that of a TV show or movie.

II.                 “A Great Relationship Depends on a Great Meeting of Minds”

a.       You will never see eye to eye on everything since you are two totally different people.

b.      According to the first principle of conjugial love, differentiation happens where no part of a woman is like a man and vice versa.

c.       “Opposites attract.”  If you are dating someone that has a similar personality, things would get boring. 

III.               “There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Make the Relationship Great”

a.       Plain and simple, there is no right way or wrong way.  You do what works for you and your partner and there are no “one set” of rules to run your relationship by.

b.      The Unity Model of Marriage describes the concept of “growing together in reciprocity.”  This means that both partners rid themselves of traits or habits and gain news ones to better the relationship.

c.       I think it’s very important to grow together and improvise instead of sticking to rules. 

Related Links

Advice: http://www.familyhaven.com/relationships/

Tips for the male race: http://www.savvymale.com/

Romantic Ideas: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/romance/

 

My Home Page:  www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2005/woo/home.htm

The G23 Class Home Page:  www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy23/classhome-g23.htm