Psychology 409b October 17, 2006

Outline 5: Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

By Christina Afonin

 

Instructions for this activity are found at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25-oral1.htm

Instructor Dr. Leon James

 

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (2004). The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. (New York, N.Y.: Harper Collins Publishers Inc.) Reviewing pages 51-64

 

  1. Grace
    1. What Grace Said

                                                              i.      “Bitching about Males” Groups

1.      Starts off innocently about gripes in marriage

2.      Escalates to male bashing session

                                                            ii.      Grace’s revelation

1.      Women’s fault

2.      Give-Take Relationship forgotten

3.      To keep the fire, you need to fuel it

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction

                                                              i.      Women forget

1.      Men are simple creatures

a.       Easy to please

2.      how much power women have over men

a.       Why are women so angry with men yet expect to live happily with one?

                                                            ii.      Religious Foundation

1.      modesty

a.       valued for more then sexual objects

b.      respected by society

2.      chastity

a.       without chastity: women have to deal with men expecting “sexual favors”

b.      less bonding, more sexual pleasure

3.      fidelity

a.       meaning has no meaning

b.      constant search for connection is lost in the process of expectations

4.      respect for life

a.       being pregnant no longer means taking responsibility

b.      instead men are taught that they are not needed in raising a child

c.       pregnancy becomes a “temporary inconvenience” solved by abortion

5.      commitment to marriage and child-rearing

a.       used to be the pinnacle of adulthood

b.      parent’s wishes were respected as well as sought after

c.       commitment is lost because of multiple marriages, the loss of seriousness in marriage, divorces, out-of-wedlock children

d.      women don’t view children or marriage as normal or stable

6.      Feminist double-whammy

a.       Result of elevation of women without men, children without fathers

                                                                                                                                      i.      Men deemed unnecessary or dangerous dismisses them from the life of a female

b.      Self-centeredness

                                                                                                                                      i.      Mistreat men

1.      because of false sense of superiority

2.      not properly psychologically fed by their own fathers

  1. Sara
    1. What Sara Said

                                                              i.      False Impression

1.      Men to be bent and changed to the whim of the wife

                                                            ii.      Lesson Learned

1.      Maturing and growing

2.      Understood that she was the one at fault

3.      Never let her husband be the “man” she wanted him to be

  1. Louise
    1. What Louise Said

                                                              i.      Bad Childhood

1.      Father violent and mean-spirited

2.      Hated and feared her father

                                                            ii.      What therapy taught her

1.      Her mother allowed her father to act this way

2.      Mother therefore attained superiority by being the “martyr”

3.      Her mother hated men

a.       Thought of them as spoiled children to be managed

b.      Taught her daughters the same opinion

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction
  1. Bill
    1. What Bill Said

                                                              i.      Micromanaging Wife

                                                            ii.      Waste of Time

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction

                                                              i.      Accept your man

  1. Brian
    1. What Brian Said

                                                              i.      Son to visit New Life

                                                            ii.      Unwilling Wife

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction

                                                              i.      Ashamed of my Gender

  1. Crystal
    1. What Crystal Said

                                                              i.      Stupid Control

1.      “Stupid Power”

                                                            ii.      “You hurt my feelings”

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction

                                                              i.      WHO’s in control?

  1. Mary Ann
    1. What Mary Ann Said

                                                              i.      Acknowledged: control, nagging, moody wife

                                                            ii.      Husband pulls away

    1. Dr. Laura’s Reaction

                                                              i.      Unity Model??

1.      “Your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife’s hero, to be his wife’s dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated. Men live to make their women happy.” –pg 64

 

Related Links:

 

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/n/nagging_wives.asp -I typed in “nagging wives” in google.com to see what type of results I would get, and its funny that the first hit I get is one that leads to a bunch of cartoons about- nagging wives. It seems to me that women are more often criticized and categorized into this role than men are made fun of for their downfalls. Somewhat sad that this should occur.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19970701-000012.html -this website takes a look at why women nag, and instead of offering negative perspectives to it, they objectively say that women may have more demands then men do because of their responsibility load. It’s one of the only websites on the hit list that was actually taking a serious look at nagging wives.

 

http://christianwomentoday.com/womenmen/nagging.html - I came across this website at the very bottom of the hit list, and was a little disturbed by its approach to nagging. It encourages prayer to eliminate nagging, this is a little odd. It’s funny to me that religions are so often placed into the male-dominance model as if it is what God intended. I have trouble believing that these ideas are correct or even rational on any level. Unfortunately, many men and women happen to be religious, and men can manipulate their wives with religion. How sad.

 

My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/afonin/afonin-home.htm

Class Homepage: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm