The Blackmail Double Bind Situation: Can't be Seen or Understood
By Tiffany Akiyama
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
- Dominance Model Indicator
- Wife should appreicate and feel lucky to have a good husband
- A good husband has a decent job to support the family
- A good husband does not have affairs
- A good husband wants to spend time with his wife
- Wife should express her appreciation by catering to his every needs (iex., frequency of sex)
- There is No "Good Wife"
- Does not include her contributions to the family
- Wife is not recognized for her daily duties
- The amount of hours spent caring for children, cleaning, etc.
- The Equity Model Could Help
Alleviate This
- Takes both perspectives
- Husband and wife are equally "considered"
- Can't work because the wife and husband situations are considered "different" (separate)
- The Wife Situation
- "Contributions" to the family (iex., making dinner, taking care of the children, etc.) are expected duties
- If the duties are expected then it should be done without complain
- The Husband Situation
- "Contributions" are luxury contributions because it is outside of the realm of "wife duties"
- Without the husband's hardwork survival would be very difficult for the wife (and children, if any) so she should show appreciation
- Why the Double Standard?
- It is traditional of one's culture and upbringing (iex., The Old Testament days)
- Media therapists enforce the dominance model (iex., Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, John Gray)
- Becomes a sense of obligation due to environmental pressures
http://www.poormagazine.com/index.cfm?L1=news&story=78
This is an article on the Poor Magaizne website. Poor Magazine is an underground news site that reports news that is not covered. The article, "The Most Unrecognizable Form of Sexual Abuse" explains that sexual blackmail is a terrible thing, but it says that women are the one's who use it the most. It places the male as the victim, and the female as the culprit. I thought this was interesting because it reminds me of a psychology project I worked on about 'sexually aggressive' females existing, and how sexual blackmail was one of their tools to obtain sex. However, according to the dominance model and statistics, it basically says that females are usually the vicitms.
http://www.nomarriage.com/notmarry.html
This is an interesting clip from a website called "NoMarriage.com." It tells the reader (specifically male) what makes a good wife. It says that sex shouldn't be everything therefore sexual blackmail is taboo, but it also has a strong doministic view of females doing the "house hold" chores. The author says that a woman should love household chores because she is meant to do them ever since long ago which is totally doministic and follows Dr. Laura's preachings. I thought it was interesting because at first it seems to start off with almost a sense of equity and unity model ingrained with the "sex" isn't necessary if she doesn't want it. But the rest of it is really strong on how a "good wife" is basically a no squabbling "house wife" which is what most of the dominance model is all about. There's mix signals from this author.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/116b_dating_advice.html
This website is a self-help guide for males and their relationships. However based on reading a few of their articles, it is totally dominance model based. The section on "Never be woman's friend," depicts everything against the Unity model and states that males are the victims of sexual blackmail. I found it interesting because it tells its readers that they need to stop being weak, and they need to not allow women to tease and control them, especially with the frequency of sex. The author says that it should be the guy to say when he wants to have sex and not the woman. The main thing that caught my eye was a line that says to "stop putting women on pedestals," which is the basis of the Unity model. You want your significant other to feel important and loved, as if worshipped like a goddess. I was also taken aback when the author said to "treat them like your bratty sister."
Last
Updated: 10/23/06