1.  Wives need to love as if never been hurt before
   1. Too many women become cold because they are "hypersensitive" to past experiences
   2. They carry over "emotional baggage"
2. "Good" Support Groups Do Not Exist
   1. Most support groups are "vent" sessions about their spouse
   2. Support groups don't help the female to look at her faults (which is the cause of her troubles)
3. Why do Women Get to This Unhappy Place?
   1. Lack of Religious Foundation
      1. Without a religious foundation couples don't really understand "holy matrimony"
      2. Marriage is out of convenience with the option of divorce
   2. Lack of modesty, chastity and fidelity values
   1. Women assume men want sexual favors when dating
   2. A woman's true beauty is forgotten while trying to be superficially pretty
      1. True beauty refers to the basic loyalty-like character traits that men and society hold as highest qualities
      2. Superficially pretty involves the appearance and actions (clothing, makeup, sexual favors, etc.) that women think are valued more by men and society
   3. Lack of respect for life
   1. "Accidental" pregnancies were resolved with commitment and responsibility upon both sexes
   2. Now there is the choice of abortion
      1. Men expect it because society says they are not needed to raise children
      2. Soceity has trained men that an "accidental pregnancy" is an inconvenience that can be easily fixed
   4. Lack of commitment to family and child rearing
   1. This used to be the "pinnacle" of adulthood
   2. Women searched for the "right" man and blessings were obtained
   3. With many "broken families" marriage is no longer viewed as something stable or normal
      1. "Broken families" include step-families, divorced families, children out of wedlock, etc.
   5. The feminist influence
   1. Men are not necessary for a woman (and her children) to survive
   2. Men are even dangerous
4. The effect of no Dad
   1. Women have a natural need to be protected and cared for
   2. This need is amplified when there is no father growing up
   3. Men who encounter this type of woman are used to try to replace the Dad they never had
   4. This causes inappropriate expectations that destroys relationships
5. Wives need to remember
   1. Keeping "lips buttoned" over things that "do not really matter" is the first step to responsibility
   2. Just because your husband does something "differently" does not give you the right to be mad
      1. Ask yourself 3 things
         1. Could you learn something from this different method
         2. Does the job still get done?
         3. Then give a compliment because you like those things too
6. The problem with women and micromanaging
   1. Defining a micromanaging woman
      1. Involves controlling and dictating
      2. When the husband feels inadequate
         1. Doesn't like to be someone they are not
         2. Feel that their wife whished for a different man
7. The two most powerful words: hurt and uncomfortable
   1. The misuse of "feelings"
   2. It is a form of a guilt trip against the husband
   3. Another tool wives use to micromanage
8. The biggest problem
   1. Getting a wife to see that she is the controlling person
   2. Many wives are quick to point
   3. This is all due to her blinded reality
9. Not all controlling is bad though
   1. It depends on "what is in your heart"
   2. What is the intent?
   3. What do your actions suggest?
10. Two things a wife should remember
    1. Controlling and giving are opposite
       1. Giving is more powerful
       2. Giving most likely helps a woman to get what she wants
    2. Men live to make their woman happy
       1. The cruelest thing a wife could do is to never be happy
       2. "Being happy is more an attitude than a reality"

Tiffany Akiyama © Fall 2006