409b September 28, 2006

Threefold Degrees of Conjunction and the Male Dominance Model of Marriage

By: Caitlin Fields

Instructions for this activity are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

Leon James and Dr. Diane Nahl (2006). Lecture notes version 12A on the Unity Model of Marriage, Everyday I’m Yours More and More. Reviewing Sections 7,8, and 9. Online at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm

I. Love Truly Conjugial

1. Union of two minds; a spiritual union.

a. Descends from heaven.

b. Marriage of good and truth.

c. “Bridegroom” and “Husband”: What the Lord is called in the Word.

d. “Bride” and “Wife”: What heaven and church are called.

2. The union of two people in respect to their interiors (thought and will).

3. Truth and Good

a. Truth is the thought of the husband and wife.

b. Good is the will of the husband and wife.

4. Loving WHAT and AS the other (spouse or partner) thinks and wills to do is love truly conjugial

5. Internal and External Delight

a. Internal delight is referring to the mind.

b. External delight is referring to the body.

6. Freedom

a. This is accomplished through both sides of the male and female.

b. It is created through the love of a husband and wife.

7. Delight of Commanding

a. This brings about disagreements, and it brings out domination from one person and serving from the other person.

II. The Unity Model of Marriage vs. the Dominance Model

1. Unity Model

a. Primary interaction between husband and wife is the mental union; secondary interaction is physical (sex).

b. A man who argues with his wife and then wants to have make-up sex is viewed as self-centered and destructive to the internal bonds of marriage.

2. Dominance Model

a. Primary interaction is physical (sex); secondary interaction is the mental union.

b. A good wife needs to give sex to her husband if that is what he wants, in order to take care of him.

c. Sexual Blackmail: When the husband makes his wife feel like she MUST have sex with him when she does not want to.

d. Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura: (They both start blaming the wife before the husband regarding marriage problems.)

Related Links:

Apocalypse Explained

http://www.theheavenlydoctrines.org/static/d11722/983.htm

This website is very useful for understanding what love truly conjugial means, and it also gives more insight on how a marriage should be that follow the Unity Model of Marriage. Love truly conjugial comes from only the Lord alone. This talks about the good and truth from a man and a woman, but goes slightly into more detail. The woman was created to be the affection of the good, whereas, the man was created to be the understanding of truth. When these two form together, between a husband and a wife, their minds will become one. One part that stood out for me was near the end when the article stated, “…marriage and adultery are as opposite as heaven and hell.” I have always hated adultery, and I personally feel it is one of the worst things someone can do to their spouse, but this statement really put these two concepts into perspective for me. It gives a better way to look at adultery, and I think it would be interesting to tell people and see their reactions. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this article.

Marriage and Sex

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/marriage/marriage.html

There are two different quotes that I found in this article that I found very interesting because it is really how society views sex today. Dr. Mark Schoen, Ph.D., wrote, “ A good sex life is an important part of an individual’s overall health…. People who have a good sex life feel better.” This goes against the Unity Model by emphasizing sex (or physical aspects) before the mind. Sex is shown ALL over the media as a wonderful thing, and it can be a wonderful thing, but only when a couple has that unity first (mental unity). That quote, which was given from a Dr., is basically telling people they will feel better if they have sex! (And since it is a doctor giving out this information, people will listen to it) No wonder people have so many problems in their relationships. If most of the world believes having sex will create a better bond in a relationship or it will make them “feel better”, it is only destroying the relationship because there is no mental unity or mental bond between a man and woman. I thought this quote was very useful at showing how the majority of the world thinks today about marriage and relationships.

The Dangers of Dominance

http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/publish/article_564.php

This article discusses why dominance is destructive in a marriage and gives point of views about dominance through the Unity Model. According to the bible, dominance is against God’s design. With that said right there, that should be enough for any woman involved in a dominant relationship to get out of it, or the man should just, plain and simple, listen to the Word of God. This article refers to dominance as being a selfish, independent spirit and being the OPPOSITE of Jesus Christ. I never related dominance and Jesus together, but that statement was very powerful. Anything opposite to Jesus Christ should not be occuring. I think that if more men, who enjoy that dominance role, heard dominance being named the opposite of Jesus would try to get out of that model immediately. No one on earth, who believes in Jesus Christ, wants to be labeled something completely different from him. Aren’t Christians trying to follow Him and be like Him? Many minor details have been popping out at me while I have been reading these articles. I think if many other people who had concern for marriage or relationships read articles similar to these, it would truly help within marriages, especially for the men in relationships.

My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/fields/fields-home.htm

Class Homepage: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm