Psychology 409b September 19, 2006

Three Levels of Unity

By: Dayna Hasegawa

Instructions for this activity are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

Leon James (2006). Lecture Notes on The Unity Model of Marriage. Section 3. Online at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm

I. Three Domains of Gender Behavior

a. Affective – internal thoughts

b. Cognitive – thinking

c. Sensorimotor – external actions and behaviors

II. “Unity” Model of Marriage

a. Believes that perfection of unity in a marriage is achieved through reciprocity of behavior in 3 fold self

b. It is also a spiritual union among partners that lasts through eternity

c. Husband and wife develop the conjoint self

i. Where they adapt to become one

ii. And individual selves no longer operates

d. Developmental levels – husband and wife just go though

i. Growth process also known as growing in reciprocity together

ii. Each individual must drop traits and acquire new ones that will all fit together

III. The Conjoint Self

a. Is achieved when husband and wife achieves unity at all levels of the three fold self

b. 3 levels of conjoint self

i. First level – sensorimotor reciprocity – extern

1. women experience this external phase as more painful or unsatisfactory then men

2. men bond with other men- complaining about women and keeping secrets

3. couples begin their relationship with sensorimotor reciprocity

a. talking to each other

b. going out dancing or eating

c. doing fun things together

ii. Second Level – Cognitive self

1. includes how they think, reason and justify things

2. can be achieved by joint involvement (such as raising kids or running a house)

3. men see the conjoint self as giving up their independence

4. women see the conjoint self as gaining togetherness.

iii. Third Level – Affective Self – the inmost level

1. this includes their feelings, motivations, loves, goals and togetherness

2. affective Reciprocity is the basis for eternal unity between husband and wife

3. will weaken if one partner excludes the other partner

a. men spend time socializing with male friends because they don’t want their wives around. This does not contribute to the unity in a marriage.

b. women have loyalties for different goals than men. Women have friends for support

c. male friendships adds to resistance to unity in a marriage

Related Links

Turn Annoying Habits into Pleasing Ones

http://www.family.org/fofmag/marriage/a0041813.cfm. I felt that this site related to our topic of developing the conjoint self. This site states that annoying habits should be turned into pleasing habits and this will in return result in a happier marriage. I thought that this sort of resembled developing the conjoint self and how a husband and wife are to drop traits and acquire new ones in order to have that unity with in the marriage.

How to Have a Happy Marriage

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Have-a-Happy-Marraige-in-One-Word-(and-a-Few-More)&id=140676. This site talks about the one way to have a good marriage is to respect your partner, which means to let them be themselves and not try to remake them. However, it ties in to what we are learning because we do not want to change our individual selves, but in a unity model of marriage, we are to adapt to each other by getting rid of old habits and gaining new ones to better fit each other.

Is Marriage Eternal?

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-cc/cc-eternal-marriage.html. This article discusses the two different views between Christianity and Mormonism. It states that Mormons believe that marriage is to be for eternity, however Christians believe that God does not require marriage for all eternity but till death do us part. This shows that Mormonism practices fall into the “unity” model of marriage.

My Home Page:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/hasegawa/hasegawa-home.htm

Class Home Page:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm