Psychology 409b October 17, 2006

The Types of Husbands and Wives

By:  Dayna Hasegawa

 

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

 

Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. (2005). The Lazy Husband. (New York, N.Y.: St. Martin's Press). Pgs. 125-149.

 

 

I.                     Worried Husband

a.       Excessive worrying most common in women, however many men also deal with it

b.      Can interfere with ability to relax and enjoy work and your wife

c.       Fear of taking on responsibilities because might get it wrong

d.      What can be done

                                                               i.      Do not criticize for his worry

1.      Show him his worries are not rational

2.      Comfort with concern

                                                            ii.      Tease if he will let

1.      If he has sense of humor, joke about it

2.      However, can be humiliating if no sense of humor

 

II.                   Perfectionist Wife

a.       They often have a hard time enjoying there lives and marriages

b.      They have a standard that keeps raising

c.       Wives with perfectionist view of husbands have lower marital satisfaction compared to wives with more moderate expectations

d.      What can be done

                                                               i.      Understand where your feelings are coming from

                                                             ii.      Work on your irrational beliefs

 

III.                  Perfectionist Husband

a.       Can cause wife to feel controlled, dominated and blamed

b.      Tend to be hardworking and obsessive

 

IV.               Angry Husband

a.       Having an abusive spouse can leave you feeling depressed, anxious and afraid

b.      May use intimidation

c.       How to deal

                                                               i.      To understand how it’s affecting your mood and behavior

                                                             ii.      Develop a plan to stand up for yourself

 

V.                 Angry Wife

a.       Results from childhood abuse

b.      Becoming argumentative and combative in order to prevent from being vulnerable

c.       Can create intense feelings of guilt in fear that others will discover the “flaws” about yourself

d.      Pledge

                                                               i.      Commit to a program of forgiving yourself

                                                            ii.      Move towards self-forgiveness, self-compassion and a commitment to change

 

 

Related Links

 

Domestic Duds

http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/subtemplate.php?t=inTheNews&ext=news019  I chose this article because I felt that it directly discusses the different types of husbands.  It broke down the different categories in which your husband may fall into and also give advice to women on how to deal or handle their particular husband. 

 

How to Handle the Chore Wars

http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/newparents/relationships/the_chore_wars.asp  I really liked this site because it was very informative for newly married couples.  It discusses how to get men to do more chores around the house, the types of lazy men, and how a woman’s job is never done.  It gives full length articles discussing topics like these and much more. 

 

Angry Husband Affects All

http://www.family.org/fmedia/askdrbill/a0031016.cfm  I chose this article because it gives advice to a wife who has a real situation where she is noticing that she not only has an angry husband but an angry son.  She is given good advice on how because of the father, his actions and how he reacts to situations can definitely have an affect on her kids as well.  So the first step is really to get help for her angry husband. 

 

My Home Page:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/hasegawa/hasegawa-home.htm  

 

Class Home Page:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm