Psy 409 September 26, 2006
Outline #2 I’m a big boy now!
By: Katie Ide
Instructions for this activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
Coleman, Joshua Ph.D.
(2005) The Lazy Husband. (
III) Times are changing
A) Children are being brought more into the foreground and parents are being pushed into the background.
B) There are countless ways to find information on how to raise your child
i) Magazines, newspapers, internet especially
ii) Able to diagnose learning disabilities faster and has relieved suffering for many families
C) Constant worry about “doing the wrong thing”
i) Parents often worry that if they yell at their child once, it will send them into a whirlwind of problems later on
IV) Homework and after school stuff
A)
i) Many parents are exhausted from work, plus all the extracurricular activities they have to take their kids to
ii) Playing is now turned into play dates, free time is structured
B) Mothers have great opportunities to have rewarding careers but feel they are forced to choose between their career and their children
C) The emphasis on the child comes at the same time when society doesn’t give much commitment to parents
D) Many people become preoccupied with their kids because it’s the one sure thing they have
V) Shifting Boundaries
A) Americans have shifted from obedience, and church loyalty, to things such as autonomy, tolerance and ability to think independently
B) Blurring of generational boundaries
i) Children are able to talk more openly with their parents
ii) Parents have a difficult time distinguishing when to be a friend vs. parent
iii) Authoritative- parents who are affectionate and loving with their children but know how to set limits
iv) Authoritarians- highly controlling towards their children and show little to none affection or tenderness
VI) Losing time
A) When women give up time to be with their children, they are typically taking away time from their husband
B) “a man gains a child and loses a wife”
C) Men feel rejected and displaced by the arrival of a child are most likely to refrain from housework or child rearing responsibilities.
VII) Gatekeeping
A) How much a spouse allows the other spouse to participate in some activity such as parenting, housework, or managing the finances
B) Can occur for many reasons
i) To prevent husbands from butting in a place they sense authority
ii) When women feel guilty or inadequate
Related Links
1. Working mothers do
just as well as stay at home moms
http://www.psychologyhelp.com/fmly168.htm
This article talks about how working mothers do just as good of a job raising their children as do moms that stay at home with their kids. It also talks about the increased self esteem mothers have and that can counter act any ill effects being away from their children might cause
2. How to choose the
right activities for your child
http://www.ehow.com/how_4323_choose-extracurricular-activities.html
I found this article interesting because someone has actually formed a checklist for parents to look at when picking the right extra curricular activities for their children. It’s supposed to settle parent’s agitated nerves. It includes things such as sit down with your child and go over a list of activities and have the child prioritize them according to likes and dislikes.
3. Men who help out are more sexually appealing
http://www.newsroom.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/display.cgi?id=611
this is a study I found that studied men who did more household chores around the house and their wives found them more sexually appealing. It also talks about men who help around the house spend more quality time with their children and in turn have stronger relationships with their kids. When children see their fathers doing chores, it gives the children a sense of cooperation and team work.
My Homepage
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/ide/ide-home.htm
Class Homepage
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm