Psy 409 October 2, 2006

Outline #3 Men feel things too!

By: Katie Ide

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor:  Dr. Leon James

 

Schlessinger, Dr. Laura C. (2004). The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. (New York, N.Y.: HarperCollins Publishing Inc.). Reviewing pages 72-99

 

 

I)       Utter disregard for a man’s feelings

A)    Being a hypocrite when it comes to activities with friends

B)     Justifying things as a need vs. irresponsibility

C)    His vs. her family members

D)    Wife’s priorities matter more

 

II)     Male ego vs body ego

A)    Husbands compliment on our bodies and the way we look in jeans but we can’t fill their egos with “yummy food”

B)     men need compliments on stuff just as much as women do

C)    wives’ approval is as important as oxygen

 

III)  Open Ears

A)    Most wives are the oppressors when it comes to marriages, they just don’t realize it

B)     Wives should  respond with openness, compassion, sensitivity to their husbands feelings

C)    Most of the time the reaction is anger, shock, reproach, threats, and tears

D)    Sometimes women are left thinking “ how did his attitude get to the point of where it is” women start wondering what they did wrong or what they can do better to render the situation

 

IV)  Husbands are not going to be your girlfriend

A)    Husbands only want the basics, no frilly, lacy details, keep it simple ladies.

B)     If husbands aren’t supposed to do anything, why are you telling them?

C)    Expecting your husband to listen to you like your best girl-friend is a huge mistake

D)    If you treat your husband as a man, it will bring something totally different.

 

V)    Who said it all had to be verbal?

A)    Non-verbal communication can be just as important if not more than verbal words

B)     Verbal communication is a form of a power struggle which men usually end up giving into

C)    Women nag and is never satisfied is the common complaint about communication

D)    Men are insensitive and doesn’t mean emotional needs and won’t do anything around the house are the common reasons for communication problems within a marriage.

 

 

Related links

1. Women need their own list

http://www.americasfamilycoaches.com/radio/todays_tips_and_resources.php?tip=329

This is a list giving the men some advice about what women need out of them in order to understand their role with their wives and how they can better their relationship

 

2. Non verbal communication among newlyweds

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=7175683&dopt=Abstract

this is a study done about the level of non verbal communication among 48 newlywed couples and they way they decoded the communication.

 

3. Traits and support

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=7175683&dopt=Abstract

this is  an article looking at the social support in regards to personality traits in marriage

 

Class Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm

 

My Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/ide/ide-home.htm