Psychology 409b
November 13, 2006
By: Katie Ide
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
Instructions for this activity can be found at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Coleman, Joshua Ph.D. (2005) The Lazy Husband. (
.
I) Status
A) People look at a man’s status as being how successful he is in an economic sense instead of a husband or father perspective
1) Men love their families, but still refuse to put the family above money and success
B) Men don’t understand why their wives get upset at them for being wrapped up in work
1) Women want all of these expensive things, they don’t just grow on trees, they need to be earned
2) Men worry that people will look at them as less of a man if they want to spend more time with their families
II) Empathy
A) Empathy is the ability to sense or feel what others are feeling and thinking
1) Women feel this more often than men
B) Girls tend to become more understanding and fair as they grow up, where men are not brought up the same way
III) Biological
A) Evolutionary psychologists
1) These psychologists believe that the opportunity to reproduce affect the way the different genders when it comes to sex, parenting and even relationships
IV) Do fathers care less than mothers?
A) Anthropologists
1) Men’s lower investment in their children could stem back all the way to cave man days
B) Men are more involved because of women
1) Women hold the larger end of the stick when it comes to social and even financial strength to encourage men to be involved
V) Men don’t want to do it
A) If men do something when they are told, they are saying “Hey I’m of lower status than you” they don’t like to think about doing it. This is an example of wanting to keep their independence as men
VI) Communication is key
A) Listening
1) Women love eye contact and they love to be comforted with kind words
2) Men don’t like to keep eye contact very long, and they would rather give advice, than to comfort a woman
B) Men don’t ask for help
1) Men more often don’t disclose emotions because it’s not masculine
2) Men show their concern by problem-solving. Unfortunately this can leave them feeling hurt or degraded
VII) Status when it comes to housework and raising kids
A) Men make many excuses to get out of any kind of work that is remotely woman like
B) If you want to get him to change, you have to understand where he’s coming from
VIII) Women shouldn’t be too much of a manager
A) Men will wait for instructions only because they think their wife is running the show around the house so it’s the best thing to do
B) Women need to manage the house in a way that their husband doesn’t feel shameful
IX) Lazy husband excuses
A) I earn more so I shouldn’t have to when I get home
B) I’m too tired
C) I’m not sure if I know how
D) I give enough in this relationship, I don’t have to do both
X) Sex
A) Where do men and women stand on this?
1) Women see sex less important because they don’t feel the need to spread their genes everywhere like men do
2) Men express feelings through “making love”
3) Men are ready all the time to have sex.
Related Links
1. Men
want sex, Women want love
http://man2woman.net/2006/04/why-men-want-sex-and-women-want-love.html
I thought this article was really funny. I’m not sure how serious it was but they did talk about different statistics so I thought I would throw it up there anyways. It talks about how guys have the same urge to have sex one day after, when females have the same feeling 20 days after sex. It talks about how men don’t have to pay a high price like previous generations anymore to spread their genes, so they are going to take it anywhere they can get it.
2. Women and eye contact
This article gives a short but precise list of six reasons why women make more eye contact with men when they are communicating.
3. Men and status
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-09/uonu-mwl091305.php
This article talks about how men who lose status are more likely to develop depression than women are. It was found that men gain most of their self-esteem from their careers and jobs more than from their family.
Class Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm
My Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/ide/ide-home.htm