Psychology 409b
November 13, 2006
By: Katie Ide
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
Instructions for this activity can be found at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Coleman, Joshua Ph.D. (2005) The Lazy Husband. (
I) Housework and sex
A) Women are want to have sex more if their husband helps around the house
B) Sex makes men feel that they are important
C) Women don’t really think sex is that big of a deal
D) A woman wants good communication, affection and a man who adores children
E) Women think that housework effects sex life
II) Why is sex important?
A) Women can get it whenever
B) Women aren’t lacking men who want to have sex, they are lacking the ones that are the entire package (loves kids, cooks, cleans etc)
C) When men help around the house, it makes the woman feel special
D) It lowers stress
E) If you want to do the dishes, your wife will want to do you afterwards
III) Are women’s standards too high?
A) Women have to lower standards and accept her husbands
B) Sometimes guys think they can do it poorly to the point where the wife will get frustrated and just do it on her own
C) Apparently this is a new concept, the more a man helps out, the happier his wife will be.DUH!
IV) How to make it better
A) Make a list
B) Make sure to brainstorm ideas together as a couple
C) Look on how you can barter with each other
D) Don’t argue about being right 100% of the time, just go with the flow
E) If the man is “always right” it’s not going to be a happy marriage
V) What if the woman is the one on top?
A) She doesn’t consider his feelings as important
B) Men find different outlets when they are unhappy
C) Men should direct their feelings to their wife instead of showing them through other things
VI) Childhood and marriage
A) Your childhood has more of an effect on you than people thing
B) Make the commitment to try harder and attempt to change
C) If she is wrong, do it anyways because you love her
VII) Better dads
A) Dads are involved more and more
B) Men react less hysterically when their child is crying
C) Men think that there is nothing wrong with kids experimenting
D) Involved fathers have kids that are more secure with their feelings
VIII) How to talk to your wife
A) Tell her you want to have your relationship with your kids on your terms
B) Tell her you will make mistakes and she shouldn’t criticize you, only offer feedback when you want it
Related Links
1. Fathers and Involvement
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm
This article talks about the amount of involvement fathers have in their children’s lives. It also talks about the influence fathers have on cognitive ability, social behavior, and even touches a little bit on how the mother-father relationship stimulates kids and their development.
2. Fathers and the difference between loving/raising children
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/06/learning_from_our_fathers.html
I found an article talking about how women love their children, but fathers raise them. The article is written by a man who has old fashioned views on how children are and should be raised. He talks about how fathers are more inclined to praising their children now because they didn’t have enough when they were growing up. It talks about how he’s more worried about raising his daughter than he is his son and that he hopes he’s not too hard or soft on either one.
3. More cleaning equals more sex
http://www.positive-way.com/men,.htm
This is just another article supporting the theory that more housework proves to maintain a healthy sexual relationship and a happier marriage between a husband and wife. Just like in the book it talks about how women feel more appreciated and loved.
Class Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm
My Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/ide/ide-home.htm