Psychology 409b

November 21, 2006

By:  Robyn Imose

 

Instructor:  Dr. Leon James

 

Instructions for this activity can be found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

 

Tannen, Deborah (1996).  Gender and Discourse.  (New York, N.Y.: Oxford University Press).  Reviewing pages 149-161.

 

I.                 Pragmatic Relationships 

A.           Pragmatic Synonymy

1.    Using different linguistic devices to accomplish similar goals.

2.    Johan and Marianne both like to avoid confrontation and addressing the issue.

3.    Marianne uses verbiage.

4.    Johan uses sarcasm.

B.           Pragmatic Identity

1.    Using similar devices to accomplish similar goals.

2.    Both Johan and Marianne avoid confrontation but suggesting to go to sleep on different occasions.

C.           Pragmatic Homonymy

1.    Using the same devices to achieve different ends.

2.    Johan and Marianne both display this when they both use endless questions when talking to each other.

3.    The difference is that they each uses endless questions for different reasons.

a.     Johan uses it to mock Marianne.

b.     Marianne uses it to avoid the real question at hand.

 

II.              Individual Styles

A.           Johan uses sarcasm, irony, generalizations, and abstraction in complex sentences.

B.           Marianne talks and acts like a child, she puts herself down and will also use verbiage and non stop questions in simple sentences.

C.           Both of their styles have them avoid confrontations and they avoid the issues in their relationships.  This causes them to distance themselves further and further away from each other.

 

Related Links

 

Does Sarcasm Belong In Our Relationships

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1609834/posts

This article talks about sarcasm and its negative effects of people.  I think that normally when I think of sarcasm, I think of someone joking and I believe that this is the norm today, because we see sarcasm on television being humorous.  But this article reminded me of the power words can have on people even if it was originally said to be a joke.  The article gives good examples of how sarcasm can be hurtful and how one sarcastic statement can impact a person for years.  This article made me realize how important it is to use sarcasm only when appropriate, if it ever is appropriate.

 

DonÕt Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse

http://marriagepartner.com/relationships/844.php

This article talks about conflict and confrontations in marriages.  She believes that conflict and confrontation is important in a healthy relationship.  She actually encourages couples not to compromise.  I thought this article was interesting because although I believe that avoiding conflict and confrontation is bad, I never thought that compromise was also bad.  In my own relationship I always tried to compromise when there was a problem and things seemed to be better.  But I do agree with her when she asks Òhow long has your compromise actually lasted?Ó because sometimes compromises donÕt end up lasting very long.  Maybe itÕs because the partners don't have to give as much, they slowly give less and less.

 

Sarcasm in Relationships

http://www.aspirenow.com/smooth_09_01_junking_jurassic_communication.htm

This is another article about sarcasm in relationships.  He also agrees that sarcasm does not belong in relationships.  He points out one definition that he read said something about Òa cutting or biting remark poking fun at someone elseÕs vice or follyÓ which seems it is something you would do to your enemy not your loved one.  He also makes some reference to Dr. Grottman who was also talked about by Dr. Coleman in the book Lazy Husband.

 

My Homepage:  http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/imose/imose-home.htm

Class Homepage:http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm