PSY409b
September 17, 2006
The duties of a good wife
By Paige Kim
Instructions
for this activity are found at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
Dr.
Laura Schlessinger (2004). The
Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. (
I.
Men are simple straight lines
a.
All he needs is direct communication, respect, appreciation,
food, and good lovin’
b.
Men usually mean what they say
c.
Women try harder to impress strangers than they try to
impress their husband
II.
Improper care
a.
Insensitivity to husbands needs
b.
Double standard
i.
Only takes into account the woman’s immediate need or
desires
ii.
Women expect men to “understand” when they’re not interested
in sex but if it’s the other way around, they themselves do not understand
iii.
The cause of the double standard is a woman’s
self-centeredness
c.
Love is a commitment
i.
Work on your marriage which means change aspects of your
interactions with your husband
ii.
Do not let marriage become distressed
d.
Men go through just
as much pain as women
i.
Men show their pain in different ways
1.
They suck it up
ii.
Women should not measure or interpret a mans feelings based
on his reactions
e.
Women try to dominate their men
i.
Men are easily dominated with negativity from their woman
ii.
Women have power and influence over men
1.
However, they misuse it by angry disappointment
III.
The White Rabbit Syndrome
a.
Always make time for him
i.
Your life is full of choices
1.
Prioritizing is a must
b.
“Hurried Woman Syndrome”
i.
Stress caused by trying to do too much
ii.
With the HWS, women do not treat husband or children well
iii.
It is your obligation to keep yourself healthy and not
burnt-out
c.
Men should not be last priority after the children
i.
Men feel neglected because lack of affection
ii.
Puts father in bad position of feeling competitive with
their child
d.
Men are dependent on three things from their wives
i.
Acceptance
ii.
Approval
iii.
Affection
e.
Women are obligated to their husbands for their needs
i.
Make them feel important
ii.
If you make your husband #1, you will get what you want in
return
Related Links:
1. Basic needs of a man and a woman
www.southerndcmochamoms.com/5_basic_needs_of_a_man.htm
This
site is from a Christian viewpoint however, they believe the principles are
universal. This site correlates with Dr.
Laura Schlessinger’s book because the needs of a man
are much like the needs she describes.
This includes his need for her attractiveness, his need for home
support, his needs for admiration and respect, etc. All of these needs came from the bible
scriptures. Although Dr. Laura Schlessinger does not talk about woman’s needs, this site
does. Some of a woman’s needs include
intimate conversation, romance, home support, etc. I picked this site because I thought it was
very interesting and relates to what we are learning in “The Proper care and
feeding of husbands.”
2. Interview with Dr. Laura
This
site is an interview with Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She goes on to talk about the common
complaints about men with their wives and his important needs. She basically reiterates her points from her
book and goes on to say how a book for the proper care of women is not needed. Her reasoning being that “men spend their entire lives in the
tutelage of women.” One of the
main points I got from her interview is that attitude is everything. This I agree on. However, most other points she makes in this
interview I do not agree with. One of
the being that wives nag because they believe they are entitled to. I purposely went to find a site in which I
could read more of Dr. Laura’s viewpoint.
After reading these first two chapters, I was shocked! I couldn’t believe a woman was basically
putting all of her needs last! So I
picked this article because it shows a little more insight to why she thinks
her perception is the right one.
3. Hurried Woman Syndrome
http://www.advocatehealth.com/ahc/info/library/ham/sum03/ahc4.html?women
I
was interested in seeing how many sites would pop up if I wrote “hurried woman
syndrome,” and there were many! However,
there were no “hurried man syndrome.” I
believe women are more vulnerable than men to stress-induced illnesses because
the household chores are “duties” of the wife.
This website agreed! It says that
the woman should put herself first and to assign chores to others. She needs to make time for herself like
spending a night with the girls. This
article focuses on the equity model, rather than the dominance or unity. I picked this website because I thought it
related to what we were learning as well as this particular chapter. It is always interesting to see different
perspectives of a particular idea. Dr.
Laura is stuck in the dominant model when she talks about the “hurried woman
syndrome,” while this website displays that it is because chores and
obligations are not equally distributed (equity).
My
Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/kim/kim-home.htm
Class
Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm