PSY409b Dec 5, 2006
Guy time
By Paige Kim
Instructions for this activity are found at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
I.
Men need respect
a.
Women need to stroke a
husband’s ego
b.
Too many women buy into
the destructive notion that a woman becomes more if she treats men as less
II.
Guy time
a.
Is legitimate, healthy,
and even necessary
b.
Too many women are
hostile and pouty about a man’s need for guy time
i. They are resentful that their men want to take time
for themselves
ii. Women do this because of their insecurity
1.
Insecure could be about
a fear that their husbands don’t enjoy time with them
2.
Insecure due to being
envious of their husbands’ ability to have hobbies and friends
c.
A big problem for women
is that they believe after marriage, their husband will become completely
domesticated
i. A wife can be two candidates:
1.
Candidate 1: angry all
the time and ruining her own life as well as her husbands with her constant
resentment
2.
Candidate 2: accepting
the kind of animal she brought home and reframing his traits in the positive
d.
Women create a double
standard
i. Women are allowed to go out almost at will but will
fight with their men when they want to go out
ii. This is a form of manipulation
iii. She is the only that seems to matter
e.
If wives want more
romance, hugs, and kisses than they need to give their husbands their guy time
III.
Women take men for
granted
a.
Women try to mold their
husband into an image they have in their own minds of what a husband should be
b.
Women will often be
attracted to the athletic & accomplished guy for the wrong reasons
i. Wrong reasons would be when they are like groupies
who “bask in the men’s glow”
c.
Women expect their
husbands to bend to their whim and will
d.
Men only want three As:
i. Acceptance, approval, and appreciation
1.
If they get these three
things, they’ll do just about anything to please their wife
Related Links:
The marriage message that this site was trying to convey was the idea of respect. I found it funny, however, that they were directing this to women. Women need to respect their men even if they are “selfish and wounded.” It says nothing about respect for the woman. What it did say was that “God requires our wives to show respect to us He also requires the husbands to show love to their wives.” What about respect for the woman? I thought this relates to this particular outline because Dr. Laura does not mention respect for the wife as well.
This is another article on the infamous askmen.com
website. This article was about
the jealous girlfriend and how to get out of this dangerous situation. But I was surprised that this website
didn’t completely criticize the woman.
It said that when a woman is jealous, it really is because she loves you
and that you (the man) should be attentive to her needs. However, they did later refer to a
woman’s jealousy as psychotic behavior. I can never find a positive article on this website!!!
I chose this article because it deals with the
concept of “guy time” and how women get jealous and insecure when their husband
or boyfriend takes time to do his own thing. But just like Dr. Laura’s book, it does not mention when the
guy is jealous.
3, Jealousy: Is it the same for men and women?
This was an interesting article about jealousy and the differences between men and women. According to this article, many women try to prevent their husbands from spending time away from them (even if it is to go to work). They call this “smothering.” The husband, on the other hand, wants to control his wife’s life. I thought this was an interesting article that restated what the dominance and equity model enforce: that jealous is natural and common among women and their feelings toward their husband.
Class
Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm