PSY409b Dec 5, 2006
AUVs are everywhere
By Paige Kim

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James  

 

Leon, James (2006) Lecture notes on The Unity Model of Marriage.  Reviewing section 17a Part 4.  Online at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm 

I.                     AUVS

a.      Anti-unity value = anti intimacy

b.      Often promoted in the media

c.      Difficult to move to unity if your relationship has AUVs

II.                   Examples of AUVs in the media

a.      All of these examples promote disjunctive behavior:

                                                              i.       Living together unmarried

                                                            ii.      Having children out of wedlock

                                                          iii.      Making each other jealous on purpose

                                                           iv.      Adultery for various reasons

                                                             v.      Promiscuity and bi-sexuality

                                                           vi.      Sexy dressing for men other than one's partner

                                                         vii.      Having a same sex best friend who is placed ahead of the partner or in competition for certain things

                                                       viii.      Having a heterosexual best friend who is placed ahead of the partner or in competition for certain things

                                                           ix.      Same sex friends going out as a group for fun and entertainment without their partners

                                                             x.      Flirting with other gender as retaliation against one's partner (or other reason)

                                                           xi.      Etc… the rest can be fount at:  http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm#Table%209

III.                  Conjugial love

a.      People who have before lived in conjugial love do not wish to marry again after the death of their partner

                                                              i.      This is because they are united and yearn for eternity

                                                            ii.      Also because the two are not separated by the death of love

1.      The spirit of the deceased continues to dwell with the spirit of the one not yet deceased

IV.               Lord’s Divine providence

a.      Most specific and most universal in connection with marriages

b.      It is by fate, by instinct, because when one is unaware of divine providence, that is when it occurs

 

 Related Links:

 

1.  Emanuel Swedenborg

I really wanted to include this link because it gives a general background about Emanuel Swedenborg.  It talks about his life and his visions to learn about the spiritual world.  Swedenborg was a very ambitious person and wanted to present a new idea everyday.  The idea that was very profound and what we have learned in class was his concept of “Conjugial love.”  Emanuel believes that “A righteous marriage is intended to be a continuous spiritual refinement of both parties, and such a union would be maintained in the afterlife.”  Marriage is the union of wisdom (represented by the man) and love (represented by the woman).  I thought that this was a very informative article about his life although it was very brief on his studies of marriage and conjugial love.

 

2. How to have a discreet affair

When I clicked on this link, it said the best way to have a discreet affair is to do it online.  Then it leads you to an online dating website in which they claim a lot of others are looking for affairs as well.  The site claims that “the key to a successful affair is keeping things as discreet as possible.”  I chose this website because it illustrates AUV 4 (adultery).  This site is encouraging you to have an affair and basically promising you it will be kept a secret since it online.  Whether or not these people are actually meeting is not the issue, it is still an affair.  You are mentally abusing and cheating on your partner.  This is also disjunctive behavior because you are keeping secrets from your wife. 

 

3.  6 signs your relationship is bad for you

This is a site that has some references similar to the unity model of marriage.  One of their signs that the relationship is bad is jealousy.  This is AUV 3.  According to this article, jealousy is when a person doubts the other person’s love or commitment.  This makes me think about all the men that I have dated who was jealous and in turn tried to make me jealous.  They were doubting my love and then intimidating me by trying to get back at me.  Making each other jealous on purpose is an anti-unity value and should be a sign that you need to get out of that relationship.  

 

 

My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/kim/kim-home.htm

Class Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm