Psychology 409b November 13,
2006
Conversational Rules for Husbands in
Conjugial Interactions
By Michael Malala
Instructions for this activity are found at http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm
Dr. Leon James
Leon James & Diane Nahl (2006).
TOGETHER IN ETERNITY: The Unity Model of Marriage--Everyday I'm Yours More and More. (Lecture Notes
Version 12a). Online at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm. Reviewing Unit 17a Part 3.
1. Rule #1
A) Be reactive and friendly whenever his wife is talking to him.
B)
He
probably used to do it when they were dating
C) At first, he might not like it, but he can
convince himself of it if he believes in the unity model of marriage
2. Rule #2
A) Deny him self the right to express disagreement with her
B)
He must deny him self the right to say no to
something she wants him to do
C) He might see this as unfair but he expects his
wife to do as he says
D) Following this rule will bring him that much
closer to eternal happiness
3. Rule
#3
A) Create a conversational atmosphere in which his wife feels un-oppressed, free, and safe because he shows that he cherishes everything about her
B)
He must fight his manly instincts and just listen
to her
C) The
moment of freedom is when he defeats his inner demon
D) He puts himself under her will power and becomes
obedient; a supporter and friend of what ever she wants.
4. Rule #4
A) Use the conversation as a method of enhancing her mood, of making her feel young in heart and stimulated in mind
B)
The husband should value what his wife says to
him and give it priority over what he says to himself
C) Part of the conjugial unity is to depend on each
other and have an excellent line of communication
D) Must give her the feeling that he is trying hard
and that he puts her first
Related
Links:
Intimacy and
Distancing
This article is a great example of how men don’t know what they want. They talk about romance and falling in love but they also talk a lot about distancing themselves and keeping their status as available. Honestly I think men are just trying to find that special someone to come in and sweep them off their feet and then they will change.
http://jar.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/21/1/27
How to Communicate With Your Husband
“If the
communication is not affective then the whole relationship is thrown off
balance.” All couples should listen to this advice because without communication
there cannot be a successful relationship. I also chose this article because the
title grabbed my attention.
http://www.familyfirst.net/marriage/husbandcommunic.asp
Top
This article made me
laugh because I know there are people out there who follow these guidelines. The
first thing I noticed is that there just techniques to “avoid” arguing, they
don’t solve any problems that you are having with your wife. Instead of
pretending to be interested or to shut your mouth when you want to say something
you should change your thought process and do those things because you love your
wife not because you don’t want to have an argument.
http://1stholistic.com/reading/prose/A2004/liv_top-10-ways-to-avoid.htm
My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/malala/malala-home.htm
Class Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm