Psychology 409b (Tuesdays) October 1,2006

Outline 3: Foundations, What kind of marriage do I have?

By: Ashlee Matsui

 

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

 

 

Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. (2005). The Lazy Husband. (New York, N.Y.: St. Martin's Press). Reviewing pages 72-99

 

I.                     The types of marriage

a.      The traditional marriage

b.      Characteristics common to this kind of marriage

                                                              i.      Women take care of children and home

                                                            ii.      Man the breadwinner

                                                          iii.      Man is not as involved paternally as the wife is

                                                           iv.      Wife is not expected to provide household income

c.      The transitional marriage

                                                              i.      This is the belief that falls in the middle of the traditional marriage and the egalitarian marriage

                                                            ii.      Common characteristics include

1.      wife can be more involved outside of home

2.      she can have a career and provide for the family

3.      man wants to be more in touch with his family

d.      the egalitarian marriage

                                                              i.      sex differences are not important

                                                            ii.      common characteristics include

1.      women can have a career and be the mother at the same time

2.      it is ok for them to be the breadwinners of the family

3.      man wants to be active in children’s life and make contributions

      II. The downside of the traditional marriage

a.       women may have less bargaining power, they are dependent on husbands for money

b.      they also tend to think that they should defer to the husbands authority

c.       not capable of good negotiating therefore leaving her more depended on her husband

d.      tell themselves men can do the household work

III.                  Changing

a.      Make it clear

                                                              i.      State what you as the wife want so that your husband understands

b.      trade off-you do what I want and I will do something you want

c.      know you maybe making him confused and explain things to him

IV.               A mix

a.      The traditional man and the transitional woman

                                                              i.      Women gets job man threatened

                                                            ii.      Change in how he saw himself as man

                                                          iii.      She should reassure him is not looking bad on him that he cannot support his family

b.      the traditional man and the egalitarian woman

                                                              i.      man may feel threatened by women getting job

                                                            ii.      less hold on wife if earns more money

c.      the transitional man and egalitarian woman

                                                              i.      women not happy with the amount of housework man puts

                                                            ii.      change can happen with appreciation

 

 

Related links:

 

 

Marriage and culture

http://www.washingtontimes.com/national/20040531-123213-3157r.htm

This is an article from the Washington Times.  It talks about marriage culture and about the government investing money into promoting healthy marriages.  It is an interesting article because it shows the importance of a good marriage, but it also seems to be supporting the “traditional marriage.”

 

Making marriage last 

http://www.godswordtowomen.org/studies/articles/Preato3.htm

This is a site talking about divorce and that having an egalitarian marriage can be a helpful source for making a marriage last.  It incorporates the Christian perspective, gives a traditional marriage vs. egalitarian approach and why equality in marriage is essential.

 

Living together before marriage 

http://www.leaderu.com/critical/cohabitation-socio.html

The approach by statistics and research is also another perspective to look at and consider.  This site give stats and results of research done with cohabitation prior to marriage, it talks about how couples want to have an egalitarian marriage but studies have found other wise.

 

 

My home page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/matsui/matsui-home.htm

 

 

Class home page:    www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm