Psychology 409b October 16, 2006

Outline 3: Unity 6

By: Makalapua Monteilh

Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/g25-oral1.htm

Instructor: Leon James

Leon James (2006). Seminar on the Unity Model of Marriage for G25. Section 6. Online at: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/409b-g25-lecture-notes.htm

I. Ennead Chart

A. Read from bottom up.

B. Provides nine steps for attaining unity at the affective self.

C. Ennead = nine.

D. On the first level, dominance level, couple’s three fold self must conjoin, steps 123.

E. The second level, equity level, couple’s three fold self must again conjoin in order to progress to the next level, steps 456.

F. Finally, after conjoining at the equity level, three fold self of couple must conjoin at the unity level in order for them to enjoy eternal marriage 789.

II. Natural marriages

A. This type of marriage occurs here on earth and will end at “till death do us part.”

B. Couples who experience natural marriages are usually in either the dominance or unity model.

C. In the dominance model, the male has the final word and dominates the female.

D. He holds on to his independent self while the woman strives for the conjunctive self.

E. In the equity model, the man must first consult his wife before decisions can be made.

III. Eternal marriages

A. Starts on earth and will continue on into the after life and has no “till death do us part.”

B. At this point, the husband is allowing the wife’s inner wisdom to lead his outer intelligent.

C. He gives up his own self for the new conjoint self

D. The woman craves for this affective conjunction at the unity level because she know that nothing less will completely fulfill her.

E. The wife desires to be first in her husband’s mind not because she’s selfish but because she’s thinking about the conjoint self.

F. After the couple attains this affective conjunction, they are now of “one mind” and “one spirit.”

G. This means they have come to that level where one cannot be complete without the other.

H. Because of this achievement, they are able to enjoy eternal conjugial bliss in Heaven for time and all eternity.

Related Links:

Submission vs. Equality in a Marriage

This article in contrary to what the unity model of marriage explains to us. The article talks about how women should

“submit herself graciously to her husband” as a means for keeping a solid marriage.

"A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family.

a wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."
source: Baptist2Baptist. If a wife agreed to this, she’d be stuck in the dominance model, which society has come to accept, allowing men

to dominate women. In order for her to attain affective conjunction, the husband must give up his independent self for the conjoint self. I

personally wouldn’t be able to live like that because being submissive isn’t a way of life for me and just doesn’t seem logical.

http://marriage.about.com/od/equality/a/submission.htm

Maintaining men's dominance: negotiating identity and power when she earns more

This article talks about how women now contribute economically to the well-being of their family to the same degree as their husbands. Does

making more money give you more power? This article suggests that women’s earnings have increased their control over the money in the

marital relationships and because of this, husbands take on greater shares of the domestic burdens. Although they may have a say in the

financial aspect of the marriage, earning an income doesn’t guarantee that women can exercise power in the marriage. A husband usually

out earns the wife which limits her power. This article seems to portray the phrase “money talks.” If you earn more in the relationship

what you say goes. Is that for both men and women, or just for men? I know of instances where women exercise their power, regardless

of the income. I guess it just depends on the individual.

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2294/is_3-4_53/ai_n16083876/pg_2

Marriage Message #220 - Moving Toward Unity

This article is about marriage and striving to be united as one with your spouse. During ceremonies where people light and hold candles, the

blowing out of the candle by both the bride and groom signifies the leaving behind of the independent selves. No longer is it “me” and “I”

it is now “we” and “us.” When a couple first enters the church for their ceremony, they enter as two different individuals who have their own

personality, skills and opinions. By the end of the ceremony, they begin their new life as a whole. In order for the couple to be complete

they need each other. The author uses blue and yellow candles as his example. When the two colors blend together, it forms green. One

spouse has a blue and the other yellow. They blow the candles out and now hold a green candle signifying the blending of the bride and

groom. This article gave insight to how other people view the unity of a couple. I think it’s great that there are others out there who believe

that being united is healthy for a marriage.

http://www.marriagemissions.com/messages/mm220.php

My Homepage: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/monteilh/monteilh-home.htm

Class Homepage: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy25/classhome-g25.htm