Women Just Don’t Get It
This is an Outline for The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,
By Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Harper Collins Inc., 2004, pages 96-109
By Laina Beard
Instructions for this Outline can be found at:http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy22/g22-oral.htm
I) Yakety Yak Yak Yak
a) Women just talk way to much. They believe that verbalizing everything in their lives is a form of intimacy. Dr. Laura believes that women should minimize communication as a way to improve it.
b) Give your man time to unwind when he comes through the door at the end of the day rather than bombarding him with talk, talk and more talk. Giving loving glances, hugs and kisses and smiling at your husband, these are all forms of communication too.
c) My Opinion: Why is it that the more important form of communication to a man is physical? This entire book, especially this chapter seems to be applauding the Dominance Model in every shape and form! Women talk and verbalize as a way to c connect on the mental, cognitive level of the three fold self and Dr. Laura sees this as a controlling device to win the power struggle. How is talking to your husband a weapon and a power struggle?
II) Men are just men and they’ll never change, so quit trying!
a) Women hold on to every single detail and mistake, they need to just “let it go.” Men are just going to do “stupid stuff,” women should accept that and forgive them for it.
b) Women’s lack of forgiveness is a weapon in the power struggle with the intent to hurt as payback, demean and gain control, and to turn the situation around so it is NEVER their fault.
c) My Opinion: Women should expect a man to understand what he did wrong and why it is wrong, not just dismiss it and let the man get off easy. Excusing a man for his actions by saying he will just do “stupid” things is ludicrous! If your child does something “stupid” you try to reprimand the situation and explain and communicate why it is wrong and how to learn from it. Men should be treated in the same fashion.
III) Ladies- men are not and never will be your girlfriends!
a) A man doesn’t think like a woman and never will, don’t expect him to say flowery things to you or to understand what you’re thinking. He can’t verbalize the way a woman does and can only communicate with physicality and action.
b) Women need to say exactly what is on their minds and quit expecting their husbands to innately understand them. Hi inability to understand you as a woman doesn’t make him inconsiderate or lazy, he’s just a “normal guy.”
c) My Opinion: Dr. Laura should not be allowed to give advice-EVER! All responsibility of the husband is reduced to a mere state of existence. If he’s married to you, works, and comes home every night- leave him alone and shower him with affection when he wants it. This chapter is filled with a multitude of excuses for a husband to never have to work on conjoining with his wife on any level other than the sensous level. A heavenly marriage can never be reached through the advice of Dr. Laura.
Husbands and Wives: http://www.family.org/married/comm/a0019594.cfm
Don’t Listen to Dr. Laura: http://www.secularhumanism.org/library/fi/presley_21_1.html
Why Dr. Laura is (Usually) Right: http://www.probe.org/docs/drlaura.html
The Unity Model of Marriage:http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy22/409b-g22-lecture-notes.htm
My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2005/beard/home.htm