Psychology 409b March 4, 2006

Psychology 409b March 4, 2006

Intimate Levels: Spiritual Compatibilities

By Alton Antonio

Ref 6a Part 4, Principles Relating to the Selection of a Marriage Partner, written by Reverend Geoffrey Howard, From "Similitudes and Dissimilitudes (Social, Mental and Spiritual Compatibility" until “External Similitudes”, http://www.swedenborgproject.org/page.cfm?pageid=172

Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

Similitudes and Dissimilitudes

I. Internal Compatibility

A. Internal similitudes

1. A social, mental, and spiritual compatibility

a. with your significant other in a marital relationship

b. internal similitudes exist on a place of mind

2... “A person or a quality resembling and having the likeliness of some other person or quality; a counterpart”

B. Internal similitudes take origin from religion

1. no other source or origin

2. striving to serve is the will of God

3. every person is born without any knowledge or perception of God’s existence

a. must be taught and learned

C. Religion is linked to conjugal love and vice versa

1. for conjugal love to exist, a husband and wife must have similar convictions and purpose

a. having the same religious ideals is emphasized between the husband and the wife in a marital relationship

2. a person’s religion is the way he/she leads his/her life out of deference to his God

a. married partners have a belief in the Lordàcommitment to the way of life of the Lord is revealedàpossibility for conjugal

love to develop in both the husband and the wife

3. conjugal love can only be received only in a mind that is formed by the teachings of a “true religion”

a. acquired by the Threefold Word

b. by shunning the evils in ourselves

4. if marriages are developed without a commitment to a common religion then the conjunction of minds does not exist

a. without a commitment, the marriage connection is only going to develop on external affections

1) external affections occupy the lower regions of the mind; only internal affections occupy the higher region

2) marriages that do not share a common religion between partners

a) spouses cannot fully appreciate their married partners internally

5. religion opens the innermost minds of the husband and the wife

a. it gives way to interior values and beliefs that are held sacredly

b. when interior values are developed, spouses are able to form these feelings into gestures of meaningful expressions

c. husbands and wives are able to share their deepest feelings of their heart to their spousesàthus thinking it will be received and treasured

d. without the ability to share a religion, a union of the minds exists only on the external plane

1) only friendships and companionships without the hope of developing conjugal love with each other

D. Recognition of internal similitude before marriage

1. exist in form of ideals

a. within our own hearts, ideals are developed toward which we aspire to

1) these stats have not yet developed

2) we need to be proven and tested by challenges of life (ex. spiritual challenges)

b. determination to obtain internal similtudes

2. due to failure and disappointment and disillusionment in life

a. communicate with spouse about religious connection

1) develop mutual respect between one another

2) fill any void that is felt with deeper and lasting values

3) healthy climate of freedom where love can develop greatly, breathes freedom and must be guarded and respected

4) women must be granted further time if she feels the relationship is wrong

3. with the Lords help…

a. the Lord will lead us to find a partner with whom we may find internal compatibility when we conduct our lives wisely

b. the Lord provides and helps men to achieve their potential wisdomàthe woman are then drawn to love the man’s wisdom

c. by means of the truth of religion and the Lord, we can achieve conjugal love

In this weblink, marriage compatibility is chosen based on astrology rather than intimate and internal interconnectedness. On the main page where you put down some information about yourself and your spouse there is a quote saying: “Right Choices are hard, but Astrology can make it easier.” Express Starteller also provides tarot readings and elaborate conditions for your relationships for 2006.

2. http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=4397

On Mentalhelp.net one of the many topics it covers is the topic of “What Makes for a Happy Marriage?” It provides some healthy ways that healthy marriages are structured and developed. It emphasizes that compatibility is critical in a marital relationship discussing five areas in which both the husband and the wife should agree upon and deal with: 1) friendship, 2) role expectations, 3) emotional intimacy, 4) sexual expectations and 5) visions/goals.

3. http://www.doctorajadams.com/ITTOIntro.html

In this weblink, it focuses love compatibility test for couples based on hundred serious questions developed by Dr. Andrea Adams who is a relationship expert and does statistical research. Dr. Adams provides two options in finding your compatible significant other, 1) the online compatibility test that is based on a hundred questions and learned behaviors and 2) the astrology analysis which analyzes personality based on planetary influences at birth.

My Homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/Antonio/antonio-home.htm

Class Homepage: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm