Outline

Psychology 409b 3/28/06

Outline #9

Conversation Across Genders

By Cynthia Adams

Tannen, Deborah. Gender & Discourse. New York: Oxford University Press, 1994. (Pages 99-129).

Instructions for this activity are found at:

www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

1) Female Topical Cohesion

a) Conversation among females is more focused, specific and flows much better.

i) Females discuss more personal and even problematic relationships.

ii) They focus on each other while in a discussion with other females.

iii) They show very little difficulty in finding a topic to discuss.

(1) Conversation among girls/women is much more in depth, personal and thorough.

(2) Women rarely us the room they are in as a basis for topical reference.

iv) Women show very tight cohesion and focus on their topic of discussion.

(1) Very little randomness is displayed in their conversation topic.

(2) Women/girls have a much easier time getting physically comfortable with a topic and going about it.

2) Male Topical Cohesion

a) Male conversation is more random, abstract and less personal.

i) As men mature they go on to discuss more personal things. However by the age of 25, they still have difficulty in finding a specific topic to discuss.

ii) Young boys speak more randomly without relating to their peers.

iii) Older men seem to have more of a “cerebral effort and strain”.

iv) When men discuss something deep and persona, they still remain abstract.

v) Men do not commit themselves personally to the topic being discussed.

vi) Men’s conversation is slow paced with little overlap in the conservation.

(a) They are very formal, hesitant and formulaic.

(b) Men often use the room they are in as a topical reference.

3) How Gender Differences Affect Conversations

a) Many women find it frustration to talk to men because they feel that men do not listen.

b) Some of the frustration women experience has to do with physical aspects

i) Alignment of the people within discussions.

ii) Eye contact, men often do not maintain eye contact

iii) Men often do not elaborate on a topic as long a women does

iv) Men show more discomfort.

c) Tannen explains this aspect with a cross-cultural view.

i) This allows one not to place the blame on the other gender when we find ourselves frustrated in a conversation with opposite sex.

d) When set in uncomfortable situations, girls and men tend to show similar behaviors when they tend to disagree with the other person, simply saying they disagree with the other person and showing the reason why.

i) Women will often compliment each other but depending on the receiver and the feeling she has about herself, she may view the feedback as critical feedback.

ii) Women then may become confrontational, depending on the nature of the relationship.

e) When boys are together and tend to come across something they cannot readily agree on, they tease each other and try to lift each other spirits and change the subject.

4) Culturally

a) Girls are encouraged to tell people how they are feeling or to help others deal with problems, depending on their background and personalities.

b) Men and boys are not without feelings as women often think they are. Their backgrounds, family history and peers, all have an effect on their personalities. In most cultures encourage men and boys are taught to hide their exterior vulnerabilities. However, they are not immune to getting their feelings hurt.