Report 2
My Understanding of
the Unity Model of Marriage
By Ryken Ako
Instructions for this report are at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/409b-g24-report2.htm
I am answering Questions 4, 7, 8, 10, 13
The question I am answering is Question 4:
(a) Select at least one
student report on marriage from each of Generation 20, 21, 22, and 23, as
listed in the
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/409b-g24-lecture-notes.htm#students
(b) Summarize each of the selected reports. Be sure to put a link to the student's report.
(c) Add a General Conclusion Section in which you discuss your reactions to what each student did and said –
(i) their ideas,
(ii) their method,
(iii) their explanations.
(d) Summarize what they gained from doing their reports?
(e) How do their ideas influence what you yourself think about these issues?
Generation 20: Suzanne Howard
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409bs2004/howard/report1.htm
(b) Summary
Suzanne started her report
by reviewing the reports of past generations.
The main topic of her class was to focus on gender relationships. She then looked at various articles that were
presented throughout the class. Suzanne
then summarized and analyzed these articles.
The articles that were presented in Suzanne’s report involve gender
relationships as well as discourse analysis and differences in driving norms of
the different sexes.
(c) Conclusion
Suzanne seemed to have a
strong general understanding of the Unity Model. She was able to identify characteristics of
the Unity Model and come to her own conclusions regarding whether or not she
agrees with them. I did like the amount
of interpretation that Suzanne included in her report. She demonstrated adequate understanding of
the material by offering her own views about the topics that were being
discussed.
(d) Personal Gain
Suzanne did feel that she
gained “a greater understanding of the differences between men and women and of
gender relationships in general.” She noted
the possibility of maintaining a good relationship if a person would adhere to
the practice of the Unity Model of Marriage.
Suzanne also said that she would take the information that she learned
in this class and apply it to her everyday life. She said that she would continue to evaluate
her gender relationships based on the Unity Model.
(e) Influence
B reading her report, I was
exposed to different articles that I otherwise would not have read. Suzanne presented that information well. I think that main influence that Suzanne’s
report had on me was that it sparked an interest to look at the material that
she talked about to further understand it.
Generation 21: Shari Arakawa-Longboy
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409bf2004/arakawa-longboy/report2.htm
(b) Summary
(c) Conclusion
(d) Personal Gain
(e) Influence
Generation 22: Heidi Nakamura
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2005/nakamura/409b-g22-report2.htm
(b) Summary
In her report, Heidi
discusses why a couple would still get into arguments if they get along well
with each other on a sensorimotor level.
Heidi also conducted an experiment about her relationship with her
boyfriend. This experiment was done so
that she would get a better understanding of the interactions that occurred
between the two of them and also the quality of their relationship. Heidi created a table that listed behaviors
that a couple would engage in and also a yes/no response to whether this
behavior would exist in the respective models of the Unity Model. Heidi also makes observations on the
interactions and behaviors of a married couple.
Both members of this couple are about 50 years old and have been married
together for almost thirty years. Heidi
notes the actions that are going on in the relationship and then uses those
notes to classify where this couple would be according to the Unity Model. Heidi then talks about Anti-Unity Values and
how they are depicted in various television programs.
(c) Conclusion
Heidi’s
experiment regarding the relationship that she has with her boyfriend caught my
attention. I found it very interesting that Heidi felt
that her and her boyfriend were in the unity model when it comes to some
aspects of their relationship while they were in the equity model and dominance
model when it comes to other aspects. I
do not feel that couples can put themselves into one model for one thing and
another model for something else. The
Unity Model of Marriage is an overall assessment of the entire aspect of your
relationship. If a couple finds
themselves to differ on one topic, they have not progressed deep enough into
the model to consider themselves to be in the Unity Model.
(d) Personal Gain
I think that Heidi gained a deeper
insight to the inner workings of her own relationship. She was able to look at her relationship and
analyze the actions and behaviors that went on between her and her boyfriend. She did note many different interactions and
classified them into a zone in the Unity Model.
Heidi did not seem to be a believer of the Unity Model of Marriage
because at the end of her report she questioned how many couples would actually
be able to achieve this highest level.
(e) Influence
I did find it interesting that
Heidi conducted experiments that can be applied to the Unity Model. I liked how she reflected on her own
relationship as well as on the marriage of a couple that had been married for
almost thirty years. After reading about
the conclusions that she came to about her relationship, I may consider doing
the same with my relationship. I think
that it would be interesting to analyze my relationship and see where it would
be classified according to the Unity Model.
Generation 23:
Emilee Patinio
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2005/patinio/patinio-409b-g23-report2.htm
(b) Summary
In her report, Emilee looked
at the different views on gender relationships that were presented by Deborah Tannen, Laura Schlessinger,
Joshua Coleman, and Emanuel Swedenborg.
Emilee stated characteristics of each of the respective views and also
compared and contrasted them with one another.
She also constructed a table that illustrated the similarities and
differences of the different views according to specific situations. Emilee also addressed some of the reasons why
a couple would still get into an argument despite the fact that they get along
well with each other on a sensorimotor level.
Emilee constructed a chart that contained responses of women when they
were asked some questions about their relationships. Emilee also constructed tables that depicted
how a person would act based on what zone they were operating at within the
Unity Model. The final question that
Emilee addressed was what Anti-Unity Values are and the presence of AUVs within three television programs.
(c) Conclusion
I did like how Emilee
contrasted the different views on gender relationships. She created a chart that showed some of the
values that the different views held. I
liked the topics that she differentiated because they were general topics that
we have been discussing with class.
These topics were some of the main topics that we talked about when
addressing the Unity Model of Marriage.
By using these relevant topics, Emilee demonstrated an understanding of
where these different views would be according to the Unity Model.
I do have a criticism of
Emilee’s chart of responses from women regarding their own relationships. I think that Emilee’s chart could have been
more effective if she were to include questions that covered a broader range of
topics as well as questions that went into greater detail of the
characteristics of their relationships.
In her explanation, Emilee cites one example that was given as to why
men are not more mentally intimate.
Emilee then states that she believes that men are not more mentally
intimate because “it’s not the macho thing to do.” I would have liked to see Emilee pursue this
hypothesis by asking the women that she interviewed how they felt about this
reason.
(d) Personal Gain
I think that Emilee
did gain a better understanding of the Unity Model of Marriage from doing this
report. She also seems to have a strong
grasp on the underlying basis of the various views on gender
relationships. It seems that Emilee felt
passionate about sexual blackmail. She
gave strong opinions on the topic as well as evidence to support her feelings.
(e) Influence
The area of Emilee’s report that I found to be the most influential was sexual blackmail. I did like the passion that she wrote with when it came to this topic. This influences me because knowing that Emilee has such strong feelings about this has caused me to take a deeper look at many relationships out there, including my own.
The question I am answering is Question 7:
(a) Consider Table 5 in the Lecture Notes, which is in the Section on Making Field Observations. It lists Areas of Observation for observing interactions between the partners in a couple.
(b) Use some of the listed areas to make observations about the threefold self of a couple you know, or you and your partner as a couple.
(c) How do these data help you in assessing the quality of the partners’ relationship in relation to the nine zones of the unity model?
(d) How do you explain these observations--what do they show or why are things this way with that couple?
(e) Explain how you now understand gender relationships in terms of dominance, equity, unity, biology, culture, and spirituality.
(b)
Table 5 in the Lecture Notes
lists Areas of Observation that can be taken into account when observing how a
couple interacts according to the Unity Model of Marriage. The given Areas are separated into three
different groups. The three groups deal
with the aspects of the threefold self: The Sensorimotor Self, The Cognitive
Self, and The Affective Self. I decided
to use this table to assess the relationship that I have with my
girlfriend. We currently live together
in an apartment that my girlfriend is renting out. I thought it would be very informative and
meaningful if I were to look at my own life and relate it to the Unity Model of
Marriage. This would also help me to be
more aware of the actions that are taken amongst each other in our relationship
and to also identify areas that I would need to improve in order to sustain a
long-lasting relationship.
(b)(i)
The Sensorimotor Self
The first area that Table 5
discusses is the area involving the sensorimotor aspect of marriages. Sensorimotor, in this sense, is referring to
anything physical that is going on in a relationship. Anything that a couple does together, facial
expressions, and how a couple talks to each other would be including in this
sensorimotor group. The first listed
observation would easily be addressed in my relationship. The first observation is, “Who gets to hold
and control the TV remote”. I am the
person that is holding onto the remote control for the vast majority of the
time. We mainly watch the television
programs that I want to watch. I find
myself being dominant in this aspect of our lives by taking the remote control
so that my girlfriend would not be able to stop me from watching my favorite
programs, whether she enjoyed them or not.
When she would watch what she wanted to, I find myself often throwing a
small fit that will not stop until she changes the channel to a program that I
want to watch. I also find myself
holding onto the remote control when we are watching programs that we both
like. If the volume needs to be turned
up I will usually get the remote and turn it up myself and hold onto the
remote. I think that I do this because
it gives me a sense of control. I am
changing the volume and as long as I have the remote my girlfriend is not able
to change the channel without clearing it with me first.
The third item in the
sensorimotor list is another item that constantly gives us problems. It seems as if deciding where to eat dinner
or what to eat for dinner is the most difficult decision that we have to make
over the entire course of the day. We
will often go back and forth with each other by asking, “What do you want to
eat?” The most typical response to this
question is, “I don’t know. Where do you
want to eat?” We usually will state the
places and types of food that we do not want to eat, and come out with a
solution based on the process of elimination.
I would say that we go through this exchange because we tend to be
passive when making seemingly simple decisions like this and also because we may
not want to impress our desires onto the other person just in case the other
person would not want to eat there. I
often get annoyed by this situation and tell my girlfriend to hurry up and just
pick someplace. She comes back at me and
says that the places that she wants to eat at are places that I adamantly do
not want to eat at so I should just choose a place because I’m the picky
one. I would say that this is another
example of me being dominant by pressuring her to come up with a decision about
dinner.
(b)(ii) The Cognitive Self
The second group of listings deals with
the cognitive aspect of marriages.
Cognitive refers to the thoughts and ideas that each person has about
various topics and of each other. The
second item in the cognitive grouping is listed as, “How do they use ‘equity
philosophy’ in their relationship (i.e., how they decide about sharing work,
duties, money, responsibilities)”. I do
find ourselves engaging in the equity philosophy a lot. I will often tell my girlfriend to do
something because I already did something else.
Also, I will tell her that I did something the last time so now she
should do it. Based on these examples,
it is evident that I would use past tasks that I did as a method to get out of
doing another task.
Item 5 also
offers an area that can be applied to our relationship. It states, “What do the two partners seriously disagree about or argue about without
resolution of the problem”. One thing
that we fight about is in regards to her parents staying over at our place. Her parents fly down to Oahu from
(b)(iii) The Affective Self
The third group of listings deals with the
affective aspect of marriages. Affective
refers to the understanding and aligning of the feelings and desires of both
members of a couple. When referring to
the Affective Self, we are referring to a person’s feelings and also holding
their spouse in the highest regard above all other aspects of life. An item of particular interest in my
relationship with my girlfriend would be item 3. Item 3 states, “How committed is each
partner to the idea of total unity (e.g., feeling free to raise and talk
about any topic, feeling motivated to eliminate all disagreements between them
by wanting to change for the sake of the other, and so on)”. We both do feel that it is important to be
able to talk freely amongst each other about any topic. We are able to talk to each other about
anything and we know that. This provides
us with a very comfortable feeling when we are with each other. However, we both do not feel that it is
necessary to “eliminate all disagreements” between the two of us. We feel that it is important to have some
differences. We do not expect each other
to share every feeling and desire. We
cherish the individuality that each person brings to the relationship. We also agree that the differences that exist
between also identify the flaws that each of us have as individuals. We view these differences as motivation to
strive to be better overall people.
(c) Using
This Data to Assess Relationships
This data
may be applied greatly to assessing the quality of relationships in relation to
the nine zones of the unity model. This
particular table is effective because it identifies specific behaviors as they
exist in the various areas of the threefold self. The areas of observation also deal with
everyday occurrences that couples experience throughout their lives. The behaviors listed deal with the aspects of
the Unity Model that we have discussed in class. A couple only needs to explain how the
behaviors are exhibited in their relationship and then it may be pointed out
exactly where on the Unity Model this action would be classified under. Based on these behavioral outcomes, couples
can be placed not only in the Dominance, Equity, or Unity Model, but also under
the nine zones of the overall diagram of the Unity Model of Marriage.
(d)
Assessment of My Relationship
Based on
these listings, I would say that my relationship with my girlfriend is far from
the Unity Model. There are many
instances where my actions are characteristic of the Dominance Model. Until I suppress my urges of dominance, we
will never progress toward the Unity Model.
We also do exhibit some behaviors of the Equity Model, but these
behaviors will do no good if I keep reverting to the Dominance Model. Also, I do not believe that we will ever
achieve the Unity Model. I do not want
to conform every single one my thoughts, ideas, and feelings to that of my
partner and she does not want me to either.
We do appreciate the differences that exist between us. As long as these differences exist, it is
impossible to achieve a unity marriage.
(e) My Own
Understanding
I now do
have a better understanding of gender relationships. Relationships typically start off in the
Dominance Model. In this model, it is
husband that has issues with dominance.
The husband is the one that is exuding his dominance onto his wife. He does this by only by caring about himself
and doing what he wants to. A husband
must suppress his dominant urges in order to progress into the Equity
Model. The Equity Model is much like a
give and take relationship. The husband
comes to the realization that his wife does a lot for him. Knowing this, the husband will engage in
productive behaviors for the wife because that is what the wife is doing for
him. However, the husband does expect
reciprocal actions from the wife that cater toward the husband as a type of
reward for doing something for his wife.
The next progressive step from the Equity Model is into the Unity
Model. The Unity Model is characteristic
of a husband aligning his thoughts, ideas, and feelings with those of his
wife. A husband is responsible for
understanding the feelings of his wife and catering to her needs. Instead of expecting a reward like in the
Equity Model, a husband engages in activities that please his wife just because
he wants to. This type of husband knows
what will make his wife happy and behaves in such a manner that will allow his
wife to be happy.
Studying the
Unity Model has taught me that men and women are biologically different. Men are more dominant than women. Men feel that they need to exhibit dominance
and have a difficult time with letting go of that dominance and allowing a
woman to make him a better person. Men
have a difficult time committing and expressing their feelings. Women, on the other hand, are going through
actions in a relationship that will ultimately lead to unity. Women find it very important to be able to
find a husband in your life that will complete you and help you to achieve the
Unity Model. Culture also plays a role
in shaping a person’s attitudes and feelings.
A person’s culture may affect the types of values that person has as
well as the proper manner in which others should be treated. The deeper these values influenced by culture
are, the harder it is to get a person to abandon those values and adopt new
ones.
The question I am answering is
Question 8:
(a) Consider Tables 7a and 7b in the Lecture Notes, which is in the Section on Making Field Observations. It shows how you can use the ennead chart to identify the level of feeling, thinking, and acting between married partners. It illustrates the application using the concept of "happiness."
(b) Create two similar tables using the concepts "being in love" and "being jealous." To specify the details, think of yourself in a relationship, or some other couple you know, either real or on TV. Discuss what these Tables mean to you, how you understand what they prove.
(b)
“BEING IN LOVE”
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS
THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
UNITY |
zone 7 |
zone 8 cognitive |
zone 9 |
|
EQUITY |
zone 4 |
zone 5 |
zone 6 |
|
DOMINANCE |
zone 1 ----- |
zone 2 ----- |
zone 3 ----- |
This above table depicts the
different characteristics that a person would exhibit while operating in the
various zones of this ennead chart. The
topic discussed is being in love. This table
is therefore showing how a person would act in the various zones toward their
partner while being in love. In this
table I focused mainly on the feelings that a person has toward a partner. I did this because feelings are the main
concept that people must identify and deal with when determining whether or not
someone is in love. This chart is
important because it allows a person to see into what zone they would fall into
based on their actions toward their partner.
It also shows people the ultimate goal, which is to achieve the Unity
Model at the Affective Level. This table
shows people what the ultimate goal is and the various steps by which one is to
attain the highest level.
“BEING JEALOUS”
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS
THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
UNITY |
zone 7 |
zone 8 cognitive |
zone 9 |
|
EQUITY |
zone 4 |
zone 5 |
zone 6 |
|
DOMINANCE |
zone 1 ----- |
zone 2 ----- |
zone 3 ----- |
This above table deals with
a person being jealous toward the other person in a relationship. This table depicts the sort of behaviors that
one may experience depending on the zone in which that person is operating. In this table dealing with jealousy, the
ultimate goal is to eliminate the jealousy.
A unity marriage can not be achieved if one person in the relationship
is having jealous feelings toward the other.
Therefore it is imperative that these feelings of jealousy be suppressed
in order for a relationship to be elevated to the highest level. This table starts off in the Dominance Model
which is characteristic of one member of the relationship being controlling of
the other. This control is the means by
which one person displays the jealous feelings onto the other person in the
relationship. As the relationship
progresses toward the Unity Model, the person experiencing the jealousy
gradually learns that the feelings of jealousy are unnecessary. Members of a relationship grow closer
mentally with each other and there is eventually no need for the jealous
feelings because both are completely trusting of each other knowing that they
are both in love.
This table is important
because it identifies a coping mechanism for suppression of anti-unity
feelings. This table could also be
applied to other anti-unity feelings, such as selfishness and control. When mapping out negative behaviors it is
important to be able to see the progression that is necessary to suppress the
negative behaviors. It is important for
someone to be able to identify the negative behaviors in one’s own relationship
and the path that is necessary to allow the relationship to grow into its
ultimate form.
The question I am answering is Question 10:
(a) Consider Tables 1a, 1b, 1c in the Lecture Notes, which is in the Section called Sensorimotor, Cognitive, and Affective Conjunction It shows how to construct an ennead chart using the threefold self and the three levels of mentality creating the preference for each model. One illustration is given in the area of sexual behavior.
(b) Explain what has been discussed in class and the Lecture Notes as "sexual blackmail." Describe the development of your thinking regarding this concept, from initial reaction to now. Collect some data on how others you know react to this concept when you explain it to them. How do you interpret their reactions and comments?
(c) Copy Table 1c and replace the characterization of each illustration (in each cell) into an example of your own. Think of a couple you know in reality or from TV. The three tables should cover these three topics:
(i) housework
(ii) jealousy, and
(iii) a third area of your own choosing.
(d) Discuss what these data show or prove.
(b)
Sexual blackmail is a term
that is associated with the Male Dominance Model. Sexual blackmail directly involves the
husbands in relationships and sexual intercourse. The emergence of sexual blackmail comes from
the sexual desires of men. Sexual
blackmail refers to the idea that men often have a greater desire for sex in
the relationship than women. The men
often feel that they should be entitled to sex within a relationship whenever
they want it, whether or not a woman really wants to have sex. This is called blackmail and stems from the
dominance model because men often feel that they go to work and provide for the
family so therefore their wives are obligated to fulfill whatever it is that
men desire. A man would demand sex from
his wife and expect her to give it to him without question. A man committing sexual blackmail does not
consider the feelings of his wife when making this demand. It is of no consequence to the man whether or
not the wife is tired, busy, or exhausted from whatever tasks that she needs to
complete throughout the day. Sexual
blackmail comes out when the wife does not want to have sex. The man would then complain to his wife as to
why she would not want to have sex with him, citing reasons as to why he feels
she should give him sex. Stay-at-home
wives are especially susceptible to sexual blackmail. It is not uncommon for a man to hang over his
wife whatever contributions that he makes to the relationship. He will often say that he is the one that is
bringing home the money in the relationship and therefore his wife should do
anything that the husband asks of her, regardless of her feelings. This is why it is blackmail and
characteristic of the dominance model; because it is the husband who makes the
demands and the wife who must fulfill them.
Sexual blackmail has been
taught to us to be tolerated within relationships. Popular relationship therapists like Dr. Phil
McGraw and Dr. Laura Schlessinger deal with these
issues while giving relationship advice.
Dr. James has pointed out to us in class how these therapists handle
situations about sex. Both Dr. Phil and
Dr. Laura believe that sex is a necessary part of the relationship between a
husband and a wife. When a husband
brings up that it is the wife who refuses his sexual advances both of these
doctors quickly turn to the wife. They
question the wife as to why it is that she is neglecting to feed the needs of
her husband. Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura will
both note what things that the husband does in the relationship and then put
pressure on the wife regarding why she chooses not to satisfy her husband in
the ways that he wants to be satisfied.
Often in this type of thinking, the woman’s feelings are never
considered. It is never probed as to why
it is that the woman does not want to have sex with her man. There may be underlying reasons as to why the
wife does not want to have sex. But with
these therapists the wife’s feelings do not matter. These doctors feel that it is the wife’s
responsibility to satisfy her husband.
This point of view expressed by both Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura is
characteristic of the Male Dominance Model.
(c)
“HOUSEWORK”
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS
THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
level 3 |
7 ----- |
8 ----- |
9 ----- |
|
level 2 |
4 ----- |
5 ----- |
6 AFFECTIVE ----- |
|
level 1 |
1 ----- HAVING THE WIFE DO
THE HOUSEWORK BECAUSE THE HUSBAND TELLS HER TO |
2 ----- THE WIFE DOES THE
HOUSEWORK KNOWING THAT SHE MAY BE REPRIMANDED BY THE HUSBAND IF SHE DOES NOT |
3 ----- |
“JEALOUSY”
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS
THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
level 3 |
7 NOT EXPRESSING
FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY TOWARDS PARTNER |
8 THINKING THAT JEALOUS
FEELINGS ARE UNNECESSARY |
9 STRIVING TO SUPPRESS
FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY AND SUCCEEDING |
|
level 2 |
4 EXPRESSING JEALOUSY
AND SUPPRESSING JEALOUSY IN EQUAL AMOUNT |
5 THINKING THAT THE
PARTNER DOES NOT LIKE THE JEALOUS FEELINGS |
6 AFFECTIVE STRIVING TO JUSTIFY
JEALOUSY TO THE PARTNER AND SUCCEEDING |
|
level 1 |
1 ----- EXPRESSING FEELINGS
OF JEALOUSY TOWARD PARTNER |
2 ----- THINKING THAT JEALOUS
FEELINGS ARE WARRANTED |
3 STRIVING TO MAINTAIN
JEALOUS CONTROL OVER PARTNER AND SUCCEEDING |
“CHILD REARING”
|
MODEL THAT GOVERNS
THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
level 3 |
7 ----- |
8 ----- |
9 ----- |
|
level 2 |
4 ----- |
5 ----- |
6 AFFECTIVE ----- |
|
level 1 |
1 ----- WIFE TAKES CARE OF
CHILD BECAUSE HUSBAND TELLS HER TO |
2 ----- WIFE TAKES CARE OF
CHILD KNOWING THAT SHE MAY FACE CONSEQUENCES FROM HUSBAND IF SHE DOES NOT |
3 ----- |
The data presented in these
above tables shows different characteristics of someone operating in the
various zones of the unity model. These
tables are very important in identifying which level of the model a person’s
behaviors are characteristic of. By
using these tables, an individual is able to see where they are in a
relationship as well as where they need to be in order for the relationship to
progress. In these tables, there is an
ultimate goal that is stated in zone 9 of each chart. This zone 9 refers to the ultimate goal of
the Unity Model of Marriage. This zone
represents the total mental union of a couple and the highest attainable level
in relationships. These three tables
only identify three specific topics that come about in a relationship. These tables can be applied to any behavior
and provide couples with a guideline as to how to improve their relationship.
The question I am answering is Question 13:
(a) Describe the Web presence of Schlessinger, Tannen, Coleman, and Swedenborg. What does one find when looking them up with google?
(b) What do people say about them?
(c) Do they seem to have influence?
(d) Are they popular?
(e) How do you react to this Web information now that you are familiar with these four authors?
(f) Discuss some of their ideas with friends and report how they react.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger
When looking up Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Google.com, I came across many different
websites. The first website listed is her own website. I also
came across websites that list and discuss the various books that she has
written. There is information there
regarding her popularity about the amount of callers that she has on her radio
show as well as how successful her books have been. However, a majority of the prominent
information from the search views Dr. Laura in a negative view. There are some sites that question her credibility
as a doctor because her Ph.D. is in physiology and not psychology. There are many sites that are calling for her
to be taken off of the radio. There seem
to be many people that disagree with her views of the wife having to submit to
the husband and to make him happy. A big
controversy came about when Dr. Laura referred to being homosexual as a “biological
error that inhibits you from relating normally to the opposite sex.”
Based on this information, I
would say that Dr. Laura does have her share of followers but also more than
her share of enemies. I do not feel that
it was in any way appropriate for her to make the comment that she did about
homosexuals. I am able to see why there
would be critics of her interpretation of gender relationships. Despite her followers, there are many women
out there that do not agree with Dr. Laura when she says that it is the woman’s
responsibility to keep the man happy and do what he tells her to do.
I discussed Dr. Laura’s
philosophy with some of my friends and they did not agree with it. They would not accept a theory that calls for
a woman to satisfy her man in any way that he would want. My friends believe that relationships should
be more equal instead of controlling in the way that Dr. Laura teaches. I explained the characteristics of the
dominance model to my friends and they all agreed that Dr. Laura’s teachings
fall under this model.
Deborah Tannen
Deborah Tannen
is a professor of the Linguistics Department at
In the search, the first
websites listed did not include websites that criticized Tannen. It seems that Tannen
would not have nearly as many opposers as Dr. Laura
does. There were not sites that
contained public criticism of Tannen. Maybe this is due to Dr. Laura having a
public broadcast of her views while Tannen sticks
mainly to writing books. After
explaining to my friends, they did agree that men and women do have different
speaking styles. They sited topic
choosing and interruptions as the main ways in which men control conversations.
Dr. Joshua Coleman
A Google search for Dr. Joshua
Coleman revealed a list of books that he has written. Many of these books deal with the laziness of
husbands and how to maintain harmony in marriages. Dr. Coleman addresses the idea that husbands
are lazy and offers advice to wives on how to get their husbands to help out
more around the house. I was not able to
find any websites that criticized Dr. Coleman.
He does seem to be popular because there are websites that state the
various shows that he has made appearances on as well as the various sources of
information that he has contributed to. Dr.
Coleman would also be popular because of the audience that he is trying to
reach. The audience that Dr. Coleman
targets is mainly the wives. In his
books he offers strategies that women may implement in order to get their men
to be more cooperative and understanding in the relationship. My friends did agree that many husbands are
lazy and that they rely on the wives to handle the majority everyday chores
within the household. My friends agreed that some of Dr. Coleman’s
teachings would benefit wives in their efforts to get their husbands to help
out around the house.
Emanuel Swedenborg
Emanuel Swedenborg was the
search that had the greatest amount of results out of these four people. There are many sites that offer a biography
of Swedenborg. The vast majority of
sites relay the messages of Swedenborg.
They refer to his writings and also offer their own interpretations of
his beliefs. There are websites that
discuss Swedenborg’s ability to exist within the spiritual realm and how he
applied what he learned into a theory of conjugial
marriage. Swedenborg seems to be really
popular. His teachings have a very
religious aspect to them and therefore there are many religious groups that
have studied his teachings intently. I also
think that religious groups are very interested in the spiritual aspect of our
existence and Swedenborg gives a documented account of his observations of the
spiritual realm.
My friends found it very
difficult to believe that someone would be able to exist in both the physical
realm in which we live and the spiritual realm like Swedenborg says he
did. They questioned why it is that
people are supposed to believe his accounts over others who have also claimed
to have similar experiences. I too
reserve my doubts to this. However,
there is no doubt that Emanuel Swedenborg has had a tremendous influence on
many people around the world. His
teachings are like that of no other and they provide people with an
understanding regarding the spiritual aspect of our existence. Swedenborg teaches us that love does not have
to end at death, but rather has the potential to last till endless eternity.