Psychology 409b, February 28, 2006
Outline #3,
Presentation #2
Choosing A Marriage Partner
By Ryken Ako
G.H. Howard. "Principles relating to the selection of a marriage partner" Spiritual guidelines to help make the most important of decisions, including the concept of "similitudes." www.swedenborgproject.org/page.cfm?pageid=172
Part 4: From "A Young Woman Should Consult with Her Parents Prior to Giving Her Consent" until the end.
Instructions for this activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
I. A Young Woman Should Consult With Her Parents Prior To Giving Her Consent
A. A chaste young woman is a tender and innocent receptacle of love
1. Powerful feelings of attraction towards a man may be characterized as a borrowed state, in which everything seems blissful and sublime.
2. Young women may not have the ability to discern the underlying morals of men.
3. Men may hide more sinister motives underneath the blissful appearance.
B. Love must be viewed objectively
1. If love is viewed objectively, it is easy to see whether or not the relationship is based on sound moral principles.
2. Parents, or those that the women considers to be wise, should be consulted.
a. These elders, through age and experience, have gained an ability to evaluate the suitability or compatibility of the couple, or lack thereof.
3. The young woman then evaluates her situation.
a. If the woman finds it appropriate to give her consent, the couple moves into a state of betrothal.
b. If the woman finds similitudes lacking, then it is appropriate to terminate the relationship.
II. The Certainty of Our Choice
A. Courtship
1. Internal affections are indications of compatibility of our partner.
2. Internal affections are difficult to perceive.
a. The physical body tends to absorb internal affections, therefore making them hard to be perceived.
b. The evil spheres of hell work upon us all and are suppressed after a lifetime of learning to subdue them.
B. Marriage
1. In marriage, the future is unknown.
2. If marriage is approached having felt guided by the Lord’s principles, then couples may face the future with trust and confidence in the Lord’s provisions.
III. The Value of First States
A. After getting married, conjugial love begins to develop.
B. The first love of marriage emulates love truly conjugial.
C. When the marriage goes through hardship, these first states reminds the couple of what conjugial love is and this memory helps the couple to overcome these hardships.
Related Links:
1. http://www.familyfirst.net/marriage/choosing.asp
This website provides a list of traits that have been found in people that were in various situations of their personal lives. This site is promoting the idea that if you know what good things to look for in both yourself and a prospective mate, a good decision will be made when choosing a marriage partner. The book, Building a Successful Marriage, by Judson Landis and Mary Landis is cited.
2. http://www.namb.net/site/c.9qKILUOzEpH/b.695759/k.FDBF/Marriage_and_Divorce.htm
This is a website that discusses various topics through a religious perspective. One topic that is discussed is marriage and divorce. There is one particular section that talks about choosing an appropriate marriage partner. There is another section that talks about the different types of intimacy that a wife needs. Knowing these intimacies will allow a husband to be aware of the needs of his wife and will also allow the husband to conform to the feelings of his wife.
3. http://www.inplainsite.org/html/choosing_a_marriage_partner.html
This website talks about selecting a proper marriage partner based on a Christian view. This site puts heavy emphasis on having faith in God to show you the appropriate choices to make in regards to a marriage partner.
My Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/ako/ako-home.htm
Class Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm