PSY 409B, January 24, 2006
Outline #1 – The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands
By: Anthony Lagondino
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger (Harper/Collins Publishers, 2001), pages 1-13.
Instructions for this
activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
I. The “Double Standard”
A. Only taking into consideration the woman’s immediate needs or desires
B. Example in Society: Female/Feminist Internet Chat Rooms
i. Much discussion about the husband-bashing
ii. Women discussing how unsatisfactory their husbands are, boredom, how incomplete they feel
C. Self-Centeredness
i. Result of the Women’s Movement
1. Condemnation of everything male as evil, stupid, and oppressive
2. Denigration of female and male roles in the family
3. Loss of family functioning as a result of divorce, day care, and dual careers
ii. Women marry thinking what the marriage and their man can do for them not what they can do for their men
1. The notion that you are entitled to behave badly or treat your husband poorly just because you are not happy
2. Why should they have to be nice when things are not exactly the way they want them?
II. Culture Elevates Feelings over Obligation, Responsibility and Commitment
A. “I have a right to be happy” mentality
B. Women determine divorce is the solution if there are problems at home
i. Women should be aware of two issues if they are thinking of divorce
1. Children of divorce suffer both in the present and in the future
2. Wrong to think that “a new pair of pants” will change their lives when the “same skirt” will still be in the room
ii. Women need to realize that they may need to Change and not necessarily their husbands
iii. Women should recognize men have feelings too, they just do not express them in the same way as women
III. Negative Beliefs of the Women’s Movement
A. “Society and Men will Oppress”
i. Men are the enemy; do no submit, terminate or dominate
ii. Woman often will attempt to dominate their husbands with negativity and angry disappointment
B. Women fail to realize that men are vulnerable to a woman’s mood, desires, tantrums, criticisms, dissatisfactions, angers and rejections
C. Women need to appreciate their power and influence over men and not misuse or abuse it.
Related Links:
www.drlaura.com – This is the link to Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s website. Here she has information not only about her radio show and her books but there is a link to her reading center that gives you an idea what Dr. Laura is about and what morals and ideas she feels are important. She lists books in her reading center with “topics that are significant to our lives: the sanctity of marriage, the welfare of our children, religion, and our values and moral fiber.”
www.sapphireblue.com/dissident_feminist/factions.shtml - This link is to The Dissident Feminist: Schools of Feminist Thought website. I found this website interesting in that it explains a variety of different types of feminism. It gives a brief description of the many meanings of feminism and the author is tries to illustrate “that not all feminism falls under the ball-breaking reverse-double-standard militant stereotype that is so prevalent today.”
http://vanderbiltowc.wellsource.com/dh/Content.asp?ID=594 – This link is to the HealthPlus Vanderbilt Faculty & Staff Wellness Program website. Here there is an article entitled, “What Identifies a Happy Marriage?” which explains a study done by a psychologist who evaluated 50 happily married couples and found nine common psychological tasks amongst them. The nine tasks are what the psychologist describes as “nine functions of a happy marriage.” There are also links to other relevant articles that emphasize the importance of a happy marriage.
My Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/lagondino/lagondino-home.htm
Class Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm