Psychology 409b Outline

Psychology 409b Outline

Outline 10

What’s with Men Anyway?

By Bao Mien Lau

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. (HarperCollins Publishers, 2004. pgs 82-95)

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

I. Dr. Laura’s vies on wives who are controlling.

A. Wives do this in order to create a perfect picture

1. This is superficial

2. This is like designing the perfect life instead of helping your husband for whatever reasons.

B. Can’t push issues with your husband

1. It will destroy the relationship.

2. There are reasons why men are the way they are

C. What does the Unity Model of Marriage say?

1. Wives have a higher understanding of the relationship

a. Certain things may need to be fixed in order for the relationship to grow

II. Children and marriage

A. Children will learn from their parents

1. If a daughter observes her mother’s disrespecting her father, the daughter will do the same to her own husband one day.

a. will be problematic in her future relationships

B. Dr. Laura gets it correct! But then again...

1. Men have feelings, (correct)

2. Women don’t need to see feelings to know they are there, (wrong)

a. according to the unity model of marriage

i. women are constantly think from the man’s perspective.

ii. she does this to conjoin herself to him

C. Women are selfish

1. women do not realize men have the same feelings as they do

2. need to support husband

III. Women want men to read their thoughts

A. It would be easier if women accepted men

1. They are simple

2. they have different conversational styles

3. because men are unique

B. Different responses

1. boys tend to be more physical

a. aimed to solve a problem

b. a popular saying, “men of few words”

i. not true according the unity model

2. girls are more verbal

a. cry or verbalize what they want

3. Could be due to socialization

C. Women want men to sit and talk

1. women just want to talk about “things”

a. she says to be intimate

b. this is how women conjoin themselves to their partner

2. men visually see intimate

a. wife wearing something sexy to bed

b. being loving

D. Men as girlfriends

1. women want men to become their girlfriends

2. women need to accept that men are not their girlfriends

3. if women treat men as men, they will get better results.