Psychology 409b February 20, 2006
Outline of the Effects of Childhood
By Andrea Montague
Coleman, Joshua, The Lazy Husband, St.Martin’s Press, 2005, pages 150-181
Instructions for this activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm
Instructor: Dr. Leon James
1. Purpose of looking into the world of a guy
a. a way to get to know your husband better
b. get your husband to be more involved
c. to create peace in the home
2. Status Seekers
a. status
- decides what kind of women they attract
- determines income level
- reflects how much respect you get from other men
b. the reality
- society pressures men to be more status-seeking
- men are therefore, unable to prioritize their responsibilities involved with being husband and father
- ex. very few people receive paternity leaves— forces men to be more involved with work
c. consequences of decreased status
- men may feel unworthy and have decreased self-esteem
- may feel they are not as good as other men with higher status
3. Empathy
a. men have a much harder time being empathetic, they are just naturally different in this respect, from women
b. socialization
- boys are more likely to be taught to be aggressive and assertive
- boys are not expected to show too much emotion
- parents emphasize more on emotion when talking to girls, rather than boys
- such socialization practices begin very early in childhood
c. women are more empathetic than men
- part of it might have to do with financial dependence of the women, although things are changing now
- pays off to be more sensitive and responsive to those with more economic power
4. Role of Biology in Gender Differences
a. traditionally, the biological explanation of gender differences has oppressed women
b. biological/evolutionary perspective in gender differences
-cost of mating and raising offspring much greater for the female
-males have the opportunity to pass on as much genes as they want to
-this affects parenting differences
5. Fear of being told what to do
a. men do not like to be told what to do because it makes them feel less superior
-begins with early socialization
6. Differences in listening styles
a.women
-more eye contact
-more encouraging (by use of such words)
b.men
-men may feel that the act of listening is subordinate
c.in a conversation, men may try to solve the problem, think rationally than to try to understand the wife’s feelings
d.rejection of a man’s help with problems may leave the man hurt
Related Links:
This link looks at what men want in a marriage, focusing on many positive aspects of a man’s perspective on marriage. Although it is not unity, some of the ideas on this link look at ways in which men are thinking about relationships more seriously, such as concentrating on the wife’s needs. I thought this was really interesting because this is contrary to what Joshua Coleman’s book is saying.
2. http://www2.hawaii.edu/~lieberma
This is a link to the homepage of one of my professors this semester. She teaches human sexuality from a biological/evolutionary perspective. She has also talked about gender differences.
3. http://net-burst.net/love/men.htm
This is a link to a very straightforward site which offers insight into understanding the complicating nature of men. They talk about the male ego and offers advice for men on how to change. This site is a little more closer to unity than the one’s I have been seeing up until this point.
My Homepage is:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/montague/
Class Home Page is:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm