Psychology 409b February 2, 2006
ÒSexual BlackmailÉ
is it OK?Ó
By Skip Saito
Dr. Leon James, ÒThe Unity Model of Marriage Every Day
IÕm Yours More and MoreÓ, Lecture Notes Version 11c Section 10, University of
Hawaii, Spring 2006
Instructions for this Activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm
I. Dr. Laura SchlessingerÕs view towards Sexual Blackmail
a. The wives should appreciate it and feel lucky when they have a good man for a husband.
i. ÒGood ManÓ: a man who is responsible enough to have a decent job, to support his family, and to want to spend time with his wife.
b. When a husband comes home he expects and deserves his wife to cater to him, to his needs, to express appreciation for his courage in going out there into the world to earn a living for his family instead of running off with another woman
c. The wife should give her husband sex whenever he wants it because he deserves it.
i. The husband works so that the wife can stay home so you should give him what he wants
ii. The wife should consider herself fortunate because of the fact that she doesnÕt have to work.
II. Dr. Leon JamesÕs view towards Sexual Blackmail
a. Sexual blackmail is clearly in the dominance model in regards to the unity model of marriage.
i. The husband needs to realize that he must be doing something wrong if his wife doesnÕt want to have sex with him.
ii. The husband is using the fact that he works as an excuse to get him sex.
b. The equity model requires that every concept applied to the husband must simultaneously be applied to the wife.
i. Dr. Schlessinger fails to acknowledge the concept of a ÒGood WifeÓ.
ii. In order to be called a
"good wife" she also needs to show her appreciation for her husband
being good--doll herself up before he gets home, keep the children quiet, have
dinner ready, and later, give him sex in the way he wants it.
c.
Results
i. The husband, ardent on
satisfying himself, steps over the line the woman has set down.
ii. The pressure becomes physical
intimidation, threat, force, date rape, or, as we are discussing here, sexual
blackmail.
iii. According to this cruel
social rule, the wife must give her husband sex at a rate that can be mutually
negotiate, but she has no legitimate right to rely on her own feelings whether
to have sex or when.
Related Links:
1. http://www.womensprerogative.org/update_column.cfm?id=3 This is a website that deals with sexual blackmail in the working world. This was an article that focused on sexual harassment and had sexual blackmail incorporated in it. This is related to a marriage because the husband, or supervisor, is using their power to get sex. You either lose your husband or lose your job in these cases.
2. http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/101b_dating_advice.html Can you imagine that after all we learned so far, that you would see a website on sexual blackmail from the women. This website is sort of a top 10 ways that women can use themselves to get what they want. This is interesting because we are learning about how the husband uses sexual blackmail to get what he wants.
3. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html Believe it or not, this website is in direct correlation with the material that is discussed in the reading. This website discussed reasons why wives divorce their husbands. There was a section that the husband doesnÕt respect his wife, only when he wants to have sex,
My Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/saito/saito-home.htm
Class Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm