PSY 409B – February 18, 2006
What the Rev had to say
Howard, Rev.
Geoffrey, Principles Relating to the Selection of a Marriage Partner, The
Swedenborg Project, 2005, (Part 4) http://www.swedenborgproject.org/page.cfm?pageid=172
Instructions for this activity are found at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/g24-oral1.htm
I. A
Young Woman Should Consult with Her Parents Prior to Giving Her Consent
a. Women should ask her parents before she gets married and have their approval. This is because she may be blinded by the emotional state that’s she’s in and may not be thinking straight.
b. When two lovers are in love, they lose sight of themselves and gives more of themselves to the other, “unselfish sphere.”
c. Another reason for the woman to consult with either her parents or whomever she considers wise in this matter is because they have the experience and have more clear-sighted judgment on her relationship. If they say see that the two lovers are compatible, then it ok for her to betrothal. However if they see something wrong or lack in any essential way, they have to tell her and direct her relationship to termination.
a. Internal Similitude is the internal affections that belong to the mind and we usually can’t see it.
b. If the internal affections are not sincere and honest, it will not be seen. Also, if the negative lust and excessive desires (cupidities) are restrained, then the internal affection will be filled with heavenly delights.
a. We don’t marry a perfect person and in time we (our unregenerate self) begins to show some of our sinister side. When this happens, the person who is causing the remorse or conflict has to show what he/she is feeling and repent. The sign of forgiveness from the other side is important to progress in regeneration, progress in the marriage, and enter the stage of conjugial love.
a. If the couples are walking with the Lord, according to the Writings, they will begin to see each other more in conjugial light and their celestial love will dwell in innocence. There feelings for each other will develop deeper. They will never forget it.
V. Marriage
Is to Continue to the End of Life in the World
a. Love of the Lord= love is truly conjugial, protected by covenant; however there will always be temptation to destroy the marriage.
b. The vows and commitment (covenant) made on the wedding day comes to the minds of the couple when temptations attack so to protect their marriage. The Lord is also there to help them overcome these difficult times.
c. Before marriage, people have complete freedom of choice. “The truths which the Lord has revealed are there to lead us, to guide us, and to help us recognize our inclinations and affections,” which means the Lord is the leader of a marriage.
My Thoughts:
I believe what Rev. Howard writes is necessary part for a marriage to work. The approval and consent by the woman’s parents in marriage is the acceptance of her choice and a sign that she has been checked. This means that I agree that emotions do cloud the mind to make irrational decisions. Having an outside person with experience in marriage and who has less emotional attachment in the relationship look into the relationship of a couple will truly tell whether the couple is right for each other. It’s the appearance of happy conjunction between the two people that will make the relationship work. If family and friends see that the couple can’t get along with each, even if the couple themselves loves each other, something must be wrong. Another thing that caught my interest was that when a person’s sinister side increases, the other half’s forgiveness increases. Yes, it is true that no one is perfect, and the person we love, we usually find more faults in him/her than any other person. We must learn to let go of their faults if we love them. I agree that this is important to progress in marriage. The part that talks about walking with the Lord explains that the couple gets their love from the Lord and passes it on to each other. The Lord is the source of the love in which they can learn to see pass each other’s faults and to forgive each other’s faults. A person’s love alone isn’t strong enough to hold the two lovers together; however, the Lord is the glue that pulls the couple close and closer together to enter into the stage of conjugial love. This is one reason why the couple looks to the Lord for guidance, and makes him the leader of their marriage.
http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990501/ARTICLES/christcentred.htm
This link talks about God being the head of the home and marriage. It also talks about the role of the wife as a mother and the relationship between the husband and wife responsibility to each other in the family. The couple needs to also look to God for guidance.
http://www.rbc.org/ds/q0801/q0801.html#point1
This link gives steps in building a strong marriage in 10 steps. It fulfills the unity model of marriage from a religious side. It also talks about the man’s role as a husband and woman’s role as a wife according the to the Bible.
http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/90-100.HTM
This link talks mainly to woman as a wife and what she should do. It talks about being mutually submissive to each other. There are scriptures to support the arguments John MacArthur Jr. brings up.
My Home Page:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/wong/wong-home.htm
Class Home Page is:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy24/classhome-g24.htm