Report 1
Disjunctive vs. Conjunctive
Discourse and Behavior in
Couples
By: Annette Akaveka
Instructions for this report are at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-report1.htm
G26 Lecture Notes on the Unity Model of Marriage:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm
Section A: Categorizing Interactions Using the Ennead
Chart
The Ennead Chart: (Read from the bottom-up)
|
PHASE THAT GOVERNS THEIR INTERACTIONS |
THREEFOLD SELF |
||
|
SENSORIMOTOR |
COGNITIVE |
AFFECTIVE |
|
|
UNITY |
7 (SU) |
8 (CU) |
9 (AU) |
|
EQUITY |
4 (SE) |
5 (CE) |
6 (AE) |
|
DOMINANCE |
1 (SD) |
2 (CD) |
3 (AD) |
|
Zones |
Prime |
Five People You
Meet in Heaven |
|
9. Affective Unity |
Not Attained |
Reunited for
Eternity |
|
8. Cognitive Unity |
The Gift! |
Reunited but Confused |
|
7. Sensorimotor Unity |
Making Whoopie! |
Last Dance? |
|
6. Affective Equity |
Elevator Plea! |
Nightmares |
|
5. Cognitive Equity |
Beginning Sentences |
Going to War |
|
4. Sensorimotor Equity |
Clubbing! |
May I have this Dance? |
|
3. Affective Dominance |
Mother Dearest! |
|
|
2. Cognitive Dominance |
Age Please! |
|
|
1. Sensorimotor Dominance |
Out the door! |
Lemonade |
Zone 1.
Prime: In this scene, Rafi Gardet
comes home, tired from work early and David Bloomberg and his pie throwing
friend had just gotten there a few minutes earlier. David hears Rafi and tells his friend to hide in the closet. The friend
is found out and an argument between Rafi and David
ensues, with David walking out on her and slamming the door.
Heaven: This scene transpires a few minutes after
Eddie spots Marguerite and she comes looking for him claiming that she is
thirsty for Lemonade Fizz. He tells her the stand is closed but then shows her
that he has the keys. He takes her over to the stand and they have a drink of
lemonade.
Zone 2.
Prime: Rafi asks David his age and he tries to evade
the question.
Heaven: No example of Cognitive Dominance.
Zone 3.
Prime: She tries to talk to him about his mother betraying them and although
he somewhat agrees with her, he stands his ground and defends his mother and
tries to joke about it.
Heaven: No example of Affective Dominance.
Zone 4.
Prime: Rafi wants to see/know what David does on a normal Friday night, and so he
takes her to a club, he usually goes to.
Heaven: Eddie and Marguerite just got married and
she wants to dance but he refuses due to a leg injury and thinks that everyone
will stare. She gives him this certain stare that he caves in and takes her for
their first dance.
Zone 5.
Prime: Rafi and David are talking on a bench and he starts talking about his mom,
in which she asks him to avoid sentences, beginning with “MOM”.
Heaven: Eddie and Marguerite are dancing and Eddie is getting ready to be
shipped out to
Zone 6.
Prime: This scene is after Rafi finds out that David
had slept with a co-worker of hers and is heading home while he is approaching
her building from the opposite direction. She tries to get to the elevator
before he can catch her but the doorman holds the elevator and lets him say his
piece. David lays his heart on the line and pleads with Rafi
to give him another chance in which she does.
Heaven: Eddie and Marguerite are in bed and Eddie awakens with nightmares.
Marguerite offers to get up to fix him something but he tells her it’s four in
the morning to which she replies that she doesn’t mind but instead he tells her
to get some sleep.
Zone 7.
Prime: In this scene (after the elevator plea) David and Rafi
are making love in bed. He tells her that he wants to make a baby with Rafi but Rafi refuses saying that
he, David doesn’t want it. He insists that because she wants it, then so does
he, and that it’s his gift to her, but she refuses.
Heaven: Marguerite takes Eddie back to the place
where they had their wedding reception and their wedding dance. She asks him to
dance with her and they sway to the music (You Made Me Love You) playing softly
in the background.
Zone 8.
Prime: This is a continuation of Zone 7, where Rafi
refuses David’s gift but tells him that because he was willing to do it shows
how deep his love for her was and that that was the gift she was taking from
him instead.
Heaven: In this scene, Eddie has already died and
meets up with Marguerite in Heaven. He is so speechless at seeing his love
again (She died with some illness) and can’t stop staring. They embrace and
kiss and later sit talking while she patiently tries to answer all his
questions.
Zone 9.
Prime: Affective Unity is not achieved in this movie, as they both end up going
their separate ways.
Heaven: Eddie finally meets the fifth person he
was supposed to meet in heaven and this fifth person takes him back to Ruby
Pier, the place he had worked all his life helping his father and had gone back
to work at after. When he gets there, he is reunited again with Marguerite and
the picture fades with them two embracing one another and riding on the Ferris
wheel.
a) Two Different Love
Stories
Prime: This movie is a romantic comedy of how
Raffi (recently divorced) falls for her therapists’ son (David) who is so much younger
than her. Despite the age difference, they both embark on a whirlwind
relationship. Many obstacles are faced by Raffi’s conscience as to the age
difference and by David’s personal life, what with his being Jewish, laid off
from his job, no place to stay, and broke. Aside from traditional romance
movies, this one has a surprise ending that although they proclaim they love
one another, Raffi and David go their separate ways, but on good terms. The
movie ends with a hint of mutual respect and love for each other.
Heaven: This love story starts with the death of
the main character. On his 83rd birthday, Eddie, a war vet
and a maintenance worker at the Ruby Pier amusement park, dies while trying to
save a girl who is sitting under a falling ride. When he awakens in the
afterlife, he encounters five people with ties to his corporeal existence that
helps him understand the meaning of his life. The five people, each of whom has
been a part of Eddie's life in some way even if for the briefest of moments,
have something to teach Eddie about his life. It is through this journey that
we learn more about Eddie's life—his tough childhood, his love, his harrowing
experience as a soldier in the war. Ultimately, though, it's Eddie who must
confront his belief that his life has been inconsequential.
Section B: AUVs in the Media
Examples of
anti-unity values (AUVs) that are often promoted in
the media include:
1. Living together unmarried
2. Having children out of wedlock
3. Making each other jealous on purpose
4. Adultery for various reasons
5. Promiscuity and bi-sexuality
6. Sexy dressing for men other than one's partner
7. Having a same sex best friend who is placed ahead of the partner or
in competition for
certain things
8. Having a heterosexual best friend who is placed ahead of the partner
or in competition
for certain things
9. Same sex friends going out as a group for fun and entertainment without
their partners
10. Flirting with other gender as retaliation against one's partner (or
other reason)
11. Separate interests and activities accepted for partners
12. Manipulating partner through deception
13. Accepting the idea that it's OK to "agree to disagree"
about some things
14. Promoting the idea that one should not try to change one's partner
but should accept
them with their faults, etc.
15. Girls only or boys only entertainment
16. Acceptance of the idea that men are more important
17. Promoting the idea that men are more rational than women
18. Promoting the idea that women are generally frivolous as part of
their gender
19. Making it look normal for a man to exploit women
20. Making it look normal for a man to abuse women
21. Making it look normal for a man to have prerogatives or perks that
women should
accept and honor (e.g.,
serving men, doing what they want no matter what, being
dominant, etc.)
22. Making it look like what women say and think as less important
23. Accepting the idea that a man does not need to "grovel" when
he apologizes for
something bad he did to her
(the minimum is enough and she should not ask for more
even if her feelings are
still hurt or else she is being "unreasonable" etc.)
a) Effects by the media
discussed by earlier generations.
Laura Moa reports that although she was aware of unequal representation in the media on gender roles, she didn’t realize how “rampant these negative portrayals” were.
She touches on the subject of stereotyping and gives examples of how this encourages men to remain independent, creating obstacles for conjunction in relationships. Her comment on how societal norms hold true that stereotypically, men who do conform to unity with his partner are often portrayed as being “whipped.” tend to send a subliminal message to advocate male dominance. She feels that media portrayals and society’s views often go hand in hand and are interconnected, constantly influencing the other.
Tiffany Akiyama’s report sort of confused me, because she sort of went off on a tangent different from the other reports. However, her examples do allow that she also believes on how the media has a very deep impact on children. She has a very interesting report on her description on how she viewed some of her favorite shows and looked at the various AUV’s that were portrayed there. She also cites some of the articles on studies that found just how much the media affect the lives on the younger generation and the negative impact on their views of sex and relationships. There was also another helpful site she emphasizes, where parents need to help young teens to learn that not everything they watch is true on TV, especially when it comes to relationships
Crystal
Bulda had a very short report on the effects on the younger generation. She
does express how young children can only refer to their environment, whether it
is from their parents or media. She gives a couple of examples of how both
sexes sometimes act towards each other due to observing their surroundings. Her
comment on the media rings true that, “If the media, which is a huge impact on
the younger generations, doesn’t portray unity values, then there is nothing
for the youth to live accordingly to.”
Angela Murray’s report cited different media articles and zeroed in on how SEX is being used to portray confusing messages to the younger generation. She also makes a point on how many of the younger generation will deny that the media influences their behavior and beliefs. She then emphasizes on how promiscuity has cheapened the act of sex within the “marriage bed.” and how young girls are impacted by emotionally, and may conform to AUV’s in order to “fit in.” This also is in connection with her personal views at the beginning of her report, where her sister was abused by the husband, which in turn showed the daughters, that abuse was okay, and that their opinions as women mattered less than the opinions of men in their lives.
Christine Gora’s report talks about how the media expose children to
AUV’s, and how they are influenced to believe in negative actions if they
interact in a particular way. She goes on to show how cable and reality
television shows promote sex and how more children seem to experience sex
shortly after puberty, thus showing a decreased age difference between parents
and child. Christine emphasizes the issues of morals in the media and the home,
and how her own family beliefs, values and religion have influenced her mentality
and behavior. She points out that, there is a need of education and the
instilling of values for positive behaviors at home, school, and extra
curricular activities and that with proper guidance, children will surpass
negative behavior.
Katie
Ide refers to the various influences, not only from
the media itself, but also to how a simple toy (dolls) is affecting young girls
in today’s society. She makes reference to how the toys, and the media, imply
that certain aspects of their physique must conform to certain standards in
order to be attractive to men or others. She also points out that music is a
very strong influence on teenagers today, and backs her point with a few sites
with articles on youth, music and the influence, especially the site about
jelly bracelets. In addition, the declaration of campaigns to increase self
esteem would be unnecessary by less AUV’s in the media hits right on target.
Afronin’s report tries to make the distinction on how
teenagers are confused by
what media presents to them, therefore they assume a role that they think is
accepted as the norms and adopt these traits without realizing it. He makes
known the fact that if the younger generation is not aware that the media and
society are sending the wrong messages, then they will sacrifice their
happiness, and that it is our responsibility to educate them.
b)
My Reactions to these Prior Reports.
Laura
Moa
I agreed wholeheartedly with Laura
Moa’s report with how stereotyping in the media and society, tends to influence
the younger generation. I also agree with the fact that there are subliminal
messages that are hidden behind many ads, or comments, verbally or nonverbally
made to each other, that also influence the younger generation.
Tiffany
Akiyama
Although her report was a bit
confusing, her sites offered an insight to just how many studies are being
done, and what is proposed we should do, but haven’t seen any with any
conclusive evidence of success. I do agree with the amount of AUV’s that is
being portrayed by the media, but disagree on children’s intake percentage. I
will cover that later.
Crystal
Bulda
As short as her report on this section
was, I felt that
Angela
Murray
I agree with Angela’s report on how
sex in the media is being used to send confusing messages to the younger
generation. Ads especially use sex appeal to sell to customer’s simple products
that most people wouldn’t usually connect to sex, until these ads come along
and change the view of its consumers. Ads such as Pizza (Jessica Simpson),
shampoo, and toothpaste too, have all started to use sex appeal, in order to
sell their products.
As for her personal report on her
sister and nieces, I would like to know how much older her sister is, if they
were raised together, and if they (once) shared the same view of Male
dominance. My curiosity peaked when she mentions that she doesn’t blame her
sister due to the influence of AUV’s, grew up to believe that their opinions
were less than that of men, but does not mention that they might of both were
influenced by the same world. Were they raised together or apart, or is there a
large age gap between them?
Christine Gora
I
have mixed reactions to Christine’s report. I agree that the media exposes
children to too much AUV’s and so does society. However, there are educational
programs and extra curricular programs out there already in place for children,
but that there is still biases that need to be addressed. Most parents try to
instill positive behavior in their children and that each one is subjective. I
do agree that more children have been experimenting with sex at younger ages
and are marrying later in life, although not all are experimenting, but have
been sexually assaulted at young ages. I know of one girl who admitted to being
molested by an adult, but that, at first it hurt but she was soon enjoying it,
not knowing that it was wrong. There are various reports in the media of babies
(young girls) having babies. One such report was of a 5 year old as being the
youngest to give birth by Cesarean Section. How do we know if it is hormones,
the home or media who influence some teenagers?
Katie Ide
I
like the reference made towards toys also being an impact on children’s lives
by Katie Ide. Many issues and articles have been
brought up about how the media, together with toys, are being gender based and
the negativity that is sent and received by children. In other words, toys,
music, T.V. shows and the home all influence children’s behavior and can go
hand in hand, each supporting the other.
Afronin
Afronin’s report rings true and supports most of the other
reports on the need of more education in order for change to occur. Albeit that
there are many educational programs that try to promote Unity Values, I fear
that the need to fit in, is greater in most children and teenagers. Peer
pressure can change a person’s beliefs and values. My own view on what needs to
be done in order for change to occur will be discussed in my own findings and
relevancy section.
c) How these media reports and AUV’s are Relevant to My World.
I believe that perhaps, AUV’s have been around since the beginning of creation but was looked at under differing views. I grew up where many of these AUV’s were the norm and today, is still viewed by many in our society as such. However, this class has made me adjust some of my views that it has become a habit to observe, not only the media but various couples for cues of dispositions of AUV’s. I have learned to view any relationship in a different light and have even become more conscientious of my thoughts, actions and speech. I also have been reflecting on some of my past influences in my life and how I behaved or reacted to them.
My father was a very strong influence in my life. I grew up in a male dominated household, where my father believed strongly that my mother’s place was in the home, taking care of us children. But I remember that he was also an open-minded person and would try at times to weigh the pros and cons of any decisions made that concerned his family. I also remember that although he would always argue with my mom about some of the decisions made, he would always ask her opinion first, and if they argued, would immediately apologize after. It usually ended with him complying with mom’s decision.
He also was a strong believer in education. He was the one who would encourage us to keep up with school and would even try to help us with homework. In my culture, back then that is a seldom seen sight. Both of our parents believed strongly in religion, my mom a Catholic and Dad not. Therefore, where other religions, such as the Assembly of God, were frowned upon, my parents gave us the freedom to choose which church or denomination we wanted to attend. They said that as long as we believed in the Lord our God, it didn’t matter where or how we worshipped Him.
My father also instilled in us the value of hard earned sweat. Although at a young age, the various chores we did were in fact, compared to the Mainland USA, hard work, and that we grumbled at times, we grew to love and appreciate it.
My mother on the other hand, taught all of us kids, my brothers included how to cook and clean. I used to wonder why she would teach my brothers, but I have found out soon enough. When I had my own kids, I taught them all at the tender age of ten how to cook. I wanted them to be able to be self-sufficient should the Lord call me home, and they were still young. I also tried to instill the value of appreciating hard work and the simple things in life. It is my hope that they carry this on, because with today’s media and advertisements, it could easily influence even adults as to what is accepted as norms.
Finally, will these “influences” ever change? Is it futile to even hope that it will? Let us take a closer look at these various influences; Toys for instance, especially in the United States, are gender based by shapes, sizes and colors (pink and pastels for girls, bold colors in blue or green for boys) and are sometimes used by parents to groom the child for role modeling. It doesn’t help that the media also influences children on the latest “must have” toys, clothes, games, music, movies, or whatever fad that touches their fancy. Then we also have sex appeal in all the media that also influence children and adults alike to eat junk food, gamble, and smoke cigarettes, do drugs and so forth. Why is it that in contrast, when we have ads to quit smoking or eat healthy foods, they use mostly unknowns or has-beens to get their messages across? Are we progressing toward a better future or towards a dim although hi-tech future? With any information at the touch of a button, faster internet connections, and access to the world, how are we to stop most of these AUV’s from influencing our children? Somehow, the thought seems depressing.
d) My research on the Seduction of the Media
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2002.tb02543.x
This article discusses how one view for the high divorce
rate is due to the idealistic expectations from the media, when most people
enter into marriage. Although there was no evidence on the claim, a survey on
285 single students resulted in the viewing of romantic genre programming was
correlated to these idealistic views.
This site promotes a great book with compilations that
explore sexual content in the media and how it affects teens. It offers an
insight into how teens react to media content on sex and sexuality. Some of the
chapters that are presented are quite an engrossing read, and employ various
methodological approaches, a diversity of adolescent audiences. It is also used
by scholars and professionals within the social and developmental psychology.
Section C:
Disjunctive vs. Conjunctive Verbal Interactions.
a) My Summary on Disjunctive
and Conjunctive Verbal Interactions?
This section focuses on the three levels of interaction, verbally and mentally by the man in a relationship and a style of Sexy or Unsexy Conversations to show this. It applies also to the lesson throughout the lecture notes of the Threefold Self as we move from the Dominance Phase to the Unity Phase. It mostly is within the Cognitive and Affective levels also.
The three levels of interaction has to do with whether the man’s sexy conversational style is focused on: the self, the topic or the wife. The self is equated with the Dominance Phase and thought of being unsexy conversation and is thought of disjunctive. The topic, which can be equated to the equity level, shows us that it can go both ways. It can be Unsexy where it can revert back to the self (Dominance phase) where the man wants it to be, or it can turn Sexy, should he decide to support his wife’s views and conversation. The last level is the Wife, which is on the same level of the Unity Phase. Here is where the conversational style is sexy and the man has conjunctive interactions with his wife, and does all he can to please and conform to his wife’s wants and needs.
b) What does it really
come down to?
In my opinion, there is truth in what is discussed about the disjunctive and conjunctive verbal (sometimes nonverbal, but that is my opinion) interactions, not only with married couples but in other relationships as well. Disjunctive means serving or tending to disjoin; separating; dividing; distinguishing. In other words, where the man maintains his dominance role and can be seen as his separating himself from conjoining with her. Conjunction on the other hand means to be joined together, conjoined, or combined. I see the relevance of this in my own marriage and also concur with how I find insult or irritation when my husband reverts to “the self”. But more often than not, we usually slip between sexy conversational style on the equity level “the topic” and the unity level “me, the wife”. And yes, I did have to have a lot of patience until he finally got the idea that his dominant ways were hurting our marriage.
c) Gender Discourse
Analysis
This dialog snippet is from page 146 in Tannen’s Gender and Discourse book.
Johan: It’s just that our life together has become full of evasions and restrictions and
refusals.
Marianne: I can’t help it if I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to. I can’t help it. There’s a perfectly natural explanation. You’re not to accuse me and give me a bad conscience about this.
Johan: (Kind) You needn’t get so upset!
Marianne: (Hurt) I think it’s all right as it is. God knows it isn’t passionate, but you can’t expect everything. There are those who are much worse off than we are.
Johan: Without a doubt.
Marianne: Sex isn’t everything. As a matter of fact.
Johan: (Laughing) Why, Marianne!
Marianne: (On the verge of tears) If you’re not satisfied with my performance, you’d better get yourself a mistress who is more imaginative and sexually exciting. I do my best, I’m sure.
This dialog snippet is more on the level of the conjunctive “the topic” level. Here, Johan is trying to be supportive of Marianne who is feeling hurt by their conversation and is blaming their personal problems on circumstances. When Johan tries to articulate their difficulties, Marianne brings up sex. She doesn’t see that he is trying to support her though. In a way, it becomes disjunctive because it seems that Johan is just agreeing with her in a disconnected way, or to calm her down, as if there were dissonance in his verbal interactions.
Section D: Conclusion
a)Unity in
Marriage and Other Relationships
This has been one long, arduous journey throughout the first half of the semester. I am starting to understand where the Unity Model of Marriage is taking me and as I learn more about it, I can see that there is more meaning behind the words, “I do.” Now, I am better able to understand and accept the values in relation to my own marriage, and have set my goals in sight of achieving affective Unity. If I were to equate my marriage to the ennead chart and where it stands today, I would have to say that, as of now, we have already achieved the status of being between the cognitive and affective level of the equity phase, with brief falls back to the Dominance phase. With a healthy fear of the Lord as well as strong morals set by my family, I believe greatly with the notion of the spiritual world and of the afterlife. Therefore, being able to achieve this Affective Unity with my celestial partner would be the ultimate goal of my time here on earth. A worthwhile one at that!
If we better understand the three levels of self: Sensorimotor conjunction, Cognitive conjunction, and Affective conjunction, and the three phases of Dominance, Equity and Unity, we can categorize, chart and modify our behaviors to achieve affective unity or conjunction. The Ennead chart helps us understand the three phases or levels that couples usually pass through on their way to married bliss. What most do not know is that many couples get stuck in the Equity phase thinking that that is married bliss, but are not completely contented with life, or marriage in general.
The Sensorimotor conjunctions are activities that involve the “external” physical self of the partners. In other words, they enjoy doing activities together such as taking a walk together, playing, holding hands and something as simple as a light, brief touch. The Cognitive conjunction starts to be established after the sensorimotor conjunction has been attained. This can be thought of in terms of taking our Sensorimotor a step higher. When the husband desires to attain a higher, deeper connection with his partner, perhaps even being able to perceive what his partner is thinking or about to say and can fulfill the satisfaction of the inmost thoughts of the partner. This is when they begin to step higher to the Affective Conjunction where they start believing that they can attain a higher self to being together more fully and deeply.
The Dominance phase is when the couple first meets or when they first start dating. This can be traditionally when the man starts courtship and brings the partner flowers, chocolates and takes her out on dates; the Sensorimotor level. After that is established, they move on to the Cognitive level where the man traditionally becomes, “the head of the household” and becomes the breadwinner while the wife stays home, creating dependence on the man. This stage is also known as the coercive stage where either partner must coerce the other to get something done. After a while, the couple might establish a more concrete level of their love and understanding and the man will desire to take their marriage to a higher state or phase.
This brings them to the Equity Phase also known as the negotiating phase. During this phase, the man may take into consideration the wife’s feelings at times, and the wife may also learn to be more independent from him. In this Phase, the relationship may revert back to the Dominance phase due to the husband not wanting to conform all the way to meet his partners’ needs. But then again, the relationship may stay on the equity level, with each partner negotiating decisions and being satisfied with the rollercoaster ride to the lower phase and back. But should he decide to commit to conjoin with his wife, that’s when their relationship moves into the Unity Phase.
In the Unity Phase, this is where the concept of heaven in the mind starts. When the husband starts to conjoin with the wife in all levels of this Phase, he has conformed himself to want to attend to his wife’s wants and needs. And this is where they become more conjoined intimately, intelligently, and thoroughly, when they believe that death will not part them in marriage and that they will be together in Heaven.
“I am motivated to live in a heavenly life in which I am eternally conjoined to my wife so that we no longer are two but one.”
“the purpose of spiritual and natural creation
was to form a heaven from the human race. However, this required free response
on the part of man, and provision for his salvation. The spiritual world, of
which heaven is a part, is the world of causes, while the natural world is that
of effects. Therefore, for a new revelation to be truly new and universal, it
must reveal the world of causes which was for so long hidden from man, and it
must essentially address the question of order at that level; for so far as the
world of causes is ordered, so will be the world of effects.”
These two quotes from the Swedenborg reports touch heavily upon what our goals should be and to understand where we are headed. I do believe in the Unity Model of Marriage and have already begun to apply it to my own marriage. At present, we are still in the Affective Equity Phase, and hopefully attain the Sensorimotor Unity Phase soon.
I also shared the lecture note link
with a friend of mine, who was still in the Dominance Phase for almost ten
years (has been married for that long) and she started to chart her own
relationship accordingly. She reported that she has “put her foot down” and
demanded that her husband start thinking on a different level or she was out of
there. The last time I talked to her (February), she said that her husband has
been reading the lecture notes with her and that they were a bit lost at first
but are starting to really understand as they read more. I don’t know if they
have finished reading or not, but a mutual friend ou ours remarked on how she
met up with them at the Aquarium in
b) Tips and Advice for
Future Generations
To the future generations who are or will be doing reports such as these, my advice to you would be:
- Always keep an open mind.
At first it was sort of hard to understand the Unity model and its
concepts, but as you progress, you will notice that, even you, will be
looking for subtleties in what you watch or hear on the media, reflect on
what your past experiences were and view relationships with a new
understanding.
- Strive to do your best work.
Keep to the format of the instructions. Some people do not really go over
the instructions well, and in so doing, miss what the instructor expects
in reports and loses points.
- Know where to get your sources: Google
is among the top, then JSTOR which can be accessed through the library and
also some of your other books from other psychology classes.
- Always ask questions if not clear
on instructions and expectations. The instructor is very helpful
and usually elaborates for you if you get lost. If you’re too shy to
approach the instructor, ask your classmates. Discussion on issues that
weren’t too clear in the beginning, were made crystal when discussed with
peers.
- Try to do at least a Section a day,
in a timely matter and you will finish on time. That was my plan
but unseen circumstances prevented me from acting in such fashion.
- And last
but not least, one we hear all the time, but pay no heed to is, “DO NOT PROCRASTINATE” I learned
this lesson the hard way and lost points for not being on time.
I found that in trying to apply these phases to my marriage, I am a much happier person, inside and out. I try to see the good more than the bad in life, and have been more appreciative of what I have than in what I want. For male students, absorb the lessons taught here, it will not make you less a man, but MORE of a MAN.
May you find happiness in your life and hopefully, a great significant
other!
My Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/akaveka/akaveka-home.htm
G26 Class Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/classhome-g26.htm