409b, April 30, 2007

Love and Sex

By Lida Atkinson

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/g26-oral1.htm

Instructor: Dr. Leon James

 

Schlessinger, Laura. (2004) The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (HarperCollins Publisher)

 

James, Leon. (2007). Lecture Notes on The Unity Model of Marriage for G26. Section 5.1. Online at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm#threefold-self

 

Concept 1: What women can do to keep love and sex in their relationships

 

Concept 2: How love will keep sex in their relationships

 

Concept 1

  1. After marriage women feel entitled to unconditional love
    1. Then do not feel the need to create an emotional environment that gets them the love they desire

                                                               i.      The “frump syndrome” is a woman’s lack of desire to continue to entice men after marriage

                                                             ii.      The place sex with their husbands below all other items on their to-do list

    1. “men are simpler” than women

                                                               i.      Men forgive and forget easier than woman

                                                             ii.      Men’s behavior is more easily changed by positive reinforcement than women

  1. The changes that women need to make in their relationships
    1. They must appreciate what they have

                                                               i.      A “good man” should be praised for his efforts to provide and protect

                                                             ii.      A “good man” should not be denied sex and intimacy

    1. They must realize that if they give, they will get what they want

                                                               i.      If a man is praised and valued he is more likely to return the sentiment

                                                             ii.      They must take the romantic lead in the relationship and create a romantic atmosphere

 

Concept 2

  1. Sexuality comes in two forms
    1. Heavenly sexuality is of a higher nature than animal sex

                                                               i.      It is the means and expression of conjunction in a unity relationship

                                                             ii.      It involves conjoining the sensorimotor, cognitive and affective selves of both partners

    1. And the hellish sexuality is base in nature

                                                               i.      It involves only the sensorimotor self

                                                             ii.      Modern sexual freedom is hellish in nature because it is indiscriminant and involves multiple partners with little or no conjunction of the three-fold self

  1. Love of sex verses  love of one of the sex
    1. Love of sex

                                                               i.      It is hard-wired into our biology as a survival mechanism

                                                             ii.      We are capable of being sexually aroused by many

    1. Love of one of the sex

                                                               i.      Is our emotional need to become one with another on all three levels of the three-fold self

                                                             ii.      The ultimate purpose is to create a “spiritual marriage” that will be eternal

 

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/marriage/marriage.html Discusses the importance of sex in a marriage in relation to mental and physical health

 

http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/transcript/marriage1.htm This is a synopsis of what the Bible has to say about sex in marriage. The author provided some interesting passages from a social psychology manual for contrast and comparison

 

 http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html This is a Christian web site that advocates “saving” ones self for marriage. The reasons provided are very similar to Swedenborg’s idea of heavenly and hellish sexuality

 

 

My home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/atkinson/atkinson-home.htm

Class Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj//leonpsy26/classhome-g26.htm