Report 1
Disjunctive vs. Conjunctive
Discourse and Behavior in Couples
By Lester Papalii

 


Instructions for this report are at:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-report1.htm
G26 Lecture Notes on the Unity Model of Marriage: 
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm 

 

Section A: Categorizing Interactions Using the Ennead Chart

Introduction

The following report is a collection of my analyzations and opinions of various topics dealing with the focus of marriage psychology.  In this section I present to you a comparison of two movies that I observed through the view of the ennead chart and the various phases of marriage as mentioned by Dr. Leon James lecture notes. 

 

(a)  “What are these movies about?”

 

            The movie prime is about a recently divorced woman who meets and eventually falls in love with a man much younger than her.  To be exact she is 37 and he is 23.  In this movie “Rafi” played by Uma Thurman a recently divorced woman is seeking advice from a therapist to get over her divorce.  Unbeknownst to her she later finds out that the therapist played by Meryl Streep is actually the mother of the man she meets and falls in love with.  The man she falls in love with “Dave” is only 23 has no job and lives with his grandparents.  The main topic of focus in this movie seems to revolve around the age difference between the two and

 

            The second movie that I chose to watch is the movie “Fever Pitch”.  In this movie a school teacher played by Jimmy Fallon who is obsessed with the Boston red sox falls for a business minded woman played by Drew Barrymore.  In this movie both characters are obsessed with their own way of life.  Ben Is totally focused upon the game of baseball and his favorite team the Boston Red Sox and Lindsey is mostly focused upon her job as an advertising specialist.  At first they feel they are perfect for each other until both of their focuses start to clash. 

Ennead Chart for the movie Prime    

PHASE THAT GOVERNS THEIR INTERACTIONS

THREEFO0LD SELF

SENSORIMOTOR
(external)

COGNITIVE
(internal)

AFFECTIVE
(inmost)

UNITY

7

8

9

☻☻

EQUITY

4

5

6

DOMINANCE

1

2

 

3

 

                   ☻= Instances of interaction in zone

 

Unity Phase

  1. Dave in this instance is thinking about what Rafi really enjoys and remembers a copy of Rafi’s most favorite painting in her apartment.  So Dave knowing this arranges a special dinner where Rafi gets to visit the real painting.

 

9.  Throughout the movie Dave and Rafi are shown going everywhere together.  There is one point where they go shopping together and almost run into Dave’s mother who is Rafi’s psychiatrist.

Equity Phase

4.           When Rafi finds out that her therapist is Dave’s mother she expects Dave to be angry and outraged about this.  She suggests that his mother is trying to control him but Dave doesn’t believe her. 

 

5.           Rafi has a job and Dave does not, so she expects him to clean the house once in a while but he does not.

 

Dominance Phase

 

1.  Dave goes to Rafi’s work to visit and somehow ends up insulting her boss.  Rafi was very angry at Dave for doing this and asked him what he was thinking and how uncool it was of him.  Dave gets angry and says he doesn’t care.

 

Ennead Chart for the movie Fever Pitch  

PHASE THAT GOVERNS THEIR INTERACTIONS

THREEFO0LD SELF

SENSORIMOTOR
(external)

COGNITIVE
(internal)

AFFECTIVE
(inmost)

UNITY

7

 

8

9

EQUITY

4

5

 

6

☻☻

DOMINANCE

1

 

2

 

3

 

                   ☻= Instances of interaction in zone

 

Unity Phase

 

9.  In the beginning of the movie Lindsey gets sick and Ben takes care of her until she is feeling better.  He also cleans her vomit. 

 

8.  Ben never misses a baseball game and somehow he decides to spend the night doing what Lindsey wants.

 

 

Equity Phase

 

6.  In this interaction Lindsey wants Ben to go to Paris with her, but Ben does not really want to go and rather stay to watch a baseball game. 

 

6.  In this interaction Ben finds out that he missed out on the best baseball game and becomes angry with Lindsey for making him miss it

 

4.  In the beginning both Ben and Lindsey agree that baseball and work won’t interfere with each other. But Lindsey wants to spend more time with Ben and Ben does not want to miss a game and refers to how they agreed that what the other does wont bother them. 

 

Dominance Phase

 

None

 

(b)           “Are these movies the same”

 

            The difference between “Prime” and “Fever Pitch” is relatively small.  I observed one instance of dominance in “Prime” compared to none in “Fever Pitch”.  I think the movie fever pitch showed more equity values because both Ben and Lindsey told each other before they became intimate what there focuses were.  In Prime I think Dave didn’t really have too much to distract him from Rafi because he didn’t really have a career.  I think Rafi was much more the leader of the relationship because she was older, but it seemed like Dave didn’t mind too much until his friend came over. 

 

            In watching the movie prime I always got the feeling that Dave was in the unity model from the start of his relationship with Rafi because of the way he would converse with Rafi.  It always seemed to me that he truly cared about her and was focused upon what she had to say.  In Fever Pitch I felt that Ben and Lindsey from the start were in the equity model because both from the start of the relationship stated what type of baggage they were carrying into the relationship.  I think this up front honesty forces both partners to make a choice of either to put up with it or leave. 

 

 

(c)   “Monkey see Monkey do”

            The influence that movies like “Prime” and “Fever Pitch” have upon youth’s perception is very evident.  The psychological mechanisms that take place to encourage youth are determined by many factors that include age, parental involvement, peer influence, and length of exposure.  I think the main catalyst that encourages children to want to watch certain shows is their friends.  Teenagers are especially hierarchical and are always looking to fit in with the popular kids.  If the popular kids are watching shows or movies than everybody wants to start watching them.  An example of this that I noticed are kids sneaking into “R” rated movies.  I work at a movie theater and I am constantly hearing and seeing kids sneaking into movies that they are not supposed to be watching.  I think kids do this to impress their friends and brag about what they saw.  I don’t really think that movies like prime are that popular among teenagers so I don’t necessarily feel like it would have a huge impact upon their perceptions of relationships. 

 

           

Section B: Findings of a Prior Generation

 

 

(a)  “Television turns us into Zombies”

           

The following are the 7 reports I have read from past generations that discuss the effects media have upon the youth. 

 

            1. Laura Moa    www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/moa/moa-409b-g25-report1.htm

 

In Laura Moa's report one she states that the youth are very impressionable and concludes that various studies prove that media in general do have an effect on children.  In Laura’s findings she provides two links to websites that support her conclusions.  The first link is to a study that shows that females are not equally represented in children’s movies as men are.  The link also provides evidence that various media do influence children.  The second link that Laura presents is from the United Nations and it basically states that the media is portraying women in a negative light further harming a women’s ability to get equal treatment in the workplace and in society in general.

 

In Laura’s report she analyzes a TV series called Joan of Arcadia and a movie titled “The Way we were”.  What she does is watch both of these types of media searching for examples of conjunctive and disjunctive behavior.  For the television series her strategy is to watch a number of different episodes where the husband and wife are interacting and discuss what she finds in terms of conjunctive and disjunctive behaviors.  In all Laura watches 8 episodes and concludes that the couple is striving towards reaching unity but the husband sometimes falls back into the dominance phase.  In the movie “the way we were” Laura does exactly what she did for the television show by providing examples on a chart of the various interactions of the couple in focus.  Her first conclusion for the movie was that the couple could not reach the unity phase because they did not share the same beliefs.  The husband was continuously striving for independence and committed adultery, but his wife still loved him.  The man she felt was constantly portraying disjunctive behavior, but the wife in this movie was given the role of bad guy which further portrays women negatively. 

 

            2. Tiffany Akiyama    www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/akiyama/akiyama-409b-g25-report1.htm  

 

In Tiffany Akiyama’s report one she describes the presence of Anti unity values and conjunctive/disjunctive interactions in a variety of television shows.  Tiffany felt that the reason people enjoy watching shows with these negative interactions is that it makes them feel good that there life is not that bad in comparison.  In reading her report it seems that she was very surprised by the amount of AUV’s she was able to find.  Her method of approach was very similar to Laura Moa’s in which she watched a number of different shows and kept track of the types of interactions that fall into the categories of AUV’s and conjunctive/disjunctive interactions.  In all tiffany watches episodes from six different televisions shows and states her observations.  At the end of each of her findings she also interviews a bunch of friends who have watched the shows she analyzes.  The reactions from her friends vary and she also states that she sought some opinions from friends who are familiar with the shows she observed and asked them questions pertaining to the show and lecture notes.  

 

The one thing that I liked about this report was Tiffany’s method of asking her friends their opinions about the show and then analyzing what they said and fitting it into the lecture notes. 

 

            3. Crystal Bulda    www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/bulda/bulda-409b-g25-report1.htm 

 

In Crystal Bulda’s report one she analyzes two television shows and observes their usage of conjunctive or disjunctive verbal interactions.  The two shows she observed were “Everybody Loves Raymond” which is a sitcom and “Family Guy” Which is a cartoon.  Her results showed that both television shows clearly demonstrate interactions consistent with the dominant phase and disjunctive style of conversation.  She also admits that she was surprised at her results and did not realize how evident disjunctive and dominant interactions were in these shows. Crystal also concludes that these images are used in television shows because they are the most entertaining to viewers.  

 

           

     4. Angela Murray   www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/murray/murray-409b-g25-report1.htm 

 

Angela Murray’s report discusses how the effects of gender portrayal in the media influence children.  What Angela does is provide an example from her own experience by talking about her sister.  In her report she describes how her sister is trained to be submissive to men and allow them to lead the relationship.  Although she does not explain exactly how her sister adopted this view of men she hints that the media has some responsibility in her behavior. 

 

            5. Christine Gora  www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/gora/gora-409b-g25-report1.htm

 

Christine Gora provides a somewhat new insight from the other reports about the effects of media on children.  In her report she states that television has become so openly sexual that it has influenced and actually promotes children to have sex at younger ages.  She feels that these young kids are not mature enough to handle the requirements of sexual intimacy and should not be having sex at such a young age. 

 

As I read further into Christine’s report she describes a couple of examples from her own family experience.  She states that the one way we can prevent early sexual activity is through educating those at risk and instilling values and positive behaviors at home.  To further backup her statements Christine provides links to three websites.  The first website provides information related to the bible and premarital sex.  The second web link provides an analysis of births out of wedlock and explains the various controversies surrounding this issue.  The last link Christine provides is a definition of adultery and the repercussions from committing hellish behaviors. 

 

Christine’s report seems to focus more on her faith which I found very interesting and distinct from the other reports. 

 

6.      Katie Ide  www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/ide/ide-409b-g25-report1.htm 

 

In Katie Ide’s report she describes how young girls and boys are growing up too fast.  In particular she blames various things including music, girl’s dolls, and movies.  Katie’s views also are kind of extreme in that she sort of blames anti unity values for women being raped and beaten.  She feels that AUV’s are everywhere and parents are not aware of the effects these have upon their children.   To support her views Katie provides some links to various websites. 

 

The first website she provides explains how listening to rap music will influence teenagers to commit sexual acts two years sooner than those who don’t listen to rap music.  I personally found this report very interesting but to clarify things the link provided explains that listening to sexually explicit lyrics in any type of music, not just rap music can influence teens. 

 

The second link Katie provides deals with the roles men and women display in pictures.  The website explains that men are portrayed in dominant positions of authority and women are usually presented as sex objects.  Katie feels these can influence children to reenact what they see in these pictures in terms of gender roles and their own identities.   

 

The third link provided discusses the evolution of the image of male masculinity in the media.  Katie explains how the image went from the unity phase of putting family and wife first to the dominance phase by putting the mans own feelings first. 

 

In the fourth and final link Katie provides a story that I found very shocking.  In this news article it talks about how teenagers are wearing sex bracelets that state how far they have gone in terms of sexual acts.  The connection between the media influence and these bracelets according to Katie is that kids learn to do a lap dance from things they watch on television. 

 

7.      Christina Afonin  www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bf2006/afonin/afonin-report1.htm

 

Christina Afonin believes that children are at a stage where they are confused and trying to create their own identities.  She feels that during this time they are easily influenced and look to television for help in creating these identities.  Ultimately Christina feels it is our own responsibility to educate and explain the wrong doings shown on television.  

 

 

(b)           “Reflections of a Television Junkie”

 

             In reading many of these past generation reports the overall consensus seems to suggest that television does effect our perceptions of gender roles and marriage relationships particularly in the youth.  I found my self not too surprised about the idea that television harms the youth but I was surprised by the number of disjunctive instances that many of the students observed.  I think what would be interesting is if these students compared different types of media rather than movies or television.  I would have loved to see analyzations of various video games and the internet including popular sites like “myspace”. 

 

            I personally watched a lot of television and movies when I was younger and looking back at it now I am not too sure how they have affected me.  I think this is one of the problems with determining the influence of television.  Many people will say I watched a lot of television when I was younger and look at me now.  The problem I believe with this is that television today is not the television of the past.  It seems to me that television has evolved to a point where it is much more harmful than it has ever been especially upon the youth. 

 

            The idea that television or movies are influencing is not a new concept to me.  I have taken past college courses that briefly mention the effects of media.  In one political science class that I took we watched a video that shows political issues being addressed in Disney movies like the lion king.  I also remember a lot of subliminal messages being used in the presidential election commercials.  I specifically remember a commercial where there were a lot of words being flashed on the screen and the two words that caught my eye were the words democrats and the word rats.  The effect however was to make it seem like the word democrats was being taken off slowly and that the last words remaining would be rats.  I later learned this was a commercial done for by republicans and there was a little controversy about it.  In another psychology class that I am taking we watched a video where the creators of certain ads and commercials had actually studied the specifics of why people join cults and were planning on or currently using it to sell their product. 

 

            I really feel like many of the movies today are being created with the plan to push someone’s agenda or further false stereotypes.  I believe that if children are constantly watching television and movies they will be affected and view relationships in a negative light.  I think the main themes that I have noticed in various forms of media are encouragement for young girls to be more sexual and young men to be more disrespectful and violent towards women.  These themes seem to be ever present and are most dangerous for those who lack a strong parental authority in their life. 

 

            The idea that media effects youth is definitely cause for concern, but I think that it falls upon deaf ears.  Many people are much more concerned with other issues in life rather than worrying what’s on television or in the movies.  I personally believe that many parents view television and movies as a way to keep their kids occupied and are so behind in what is really on television these days, that they don’t know what there kids are watching. 

 

 

(c)  “The Real World”

 

            I think the effects of the media are very real and can be seen mostly in young teenage collectives.  I have two sisters and one brother who are still in high school and everyday after school they go home and immediately turn on the television, computer, and radio.  The ability for the media to effect young minds is definitely there and is probably even more profound when it is constantly being seen, heard, and mimicked.  I think before taking this class I wouldn’t really have thought about it too much in terms of the effects these various forms of media would have upon them.

 

            In my personal experience I have observed my parents try to set limits upon what my brother and sisters watch and listen to on television and radio.  It seems like everyday I can hear my parents scolding them on what they are watching and doing on the internet.  I feel however there is only so much a parent can do because eventually kids will find a way as I have seen.  Its sort of like in prison where prisoners aren’t supposed to have certain things but through cunning and stealth they somehow are able to acquire the forbidden. My personal belief in how to counteract the effects of movies and television is to instill values and educate your children upon the false images being displayed.  I think that parents need to be the ultimate role model and lead by example. 

 

 I think that a major effect from watching media is early sexual experimentation.  I see a lot shows nowadays especially on MTV that deal with relationships that show highly sexual activity.  Many of these shows portray women and men engaging in risky behavior.  I truly believe that television today is truly messing up children’s and teen’s lives by force feeding issues upon them that they are not ready to handle or comprehend.  I think many teens nowadays are trying to grow up too fast and they have not acquired the skills needed to deal with the problems that come with them.  I have also just realized how erotic and sexually explicit the music has become in today’s society.  It seems to me that there is no regulation of what is appropriate for public listening.  I personally don’t like censorship but I can understand why in some cases it is necessary.

 

(d) “What does the literature say?”

 

In this sub section I will discuss various forms of literature that I have come across to help further prove my point about the damage being done upon children by the media.  In relation to this report I hope to prove that relationships portrayed on television will have an impact on the youth much like violence and sex in the media has. 

 

“Influence of violent TV upon children of a public school in Bogotá, Colombia

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=15906504&dopt=Abstract 

 

In this study 125 primary school aged children from Bogotá, Colombia  were given a questionnaire to measure there current tendencies of violence in their daily life and attitudes towards it.  Then they presented a video featuring violent material and non violent material two weeks apart.  After viewing the movies the children were asked to draw a picture of their family and express how they feel.  The family drawing after the violent movie showed more emotional and aggressive signs compared to the non violent movie drawings.  The conclusion from this study was that television violence negatively influences kids and should be avoided. The connection between this study and my report is that the influence of television upon young children is evident and the effect it has upon children may not be only limited to violence. 

 

“Watching Sex on Television Predicts Adolescent Initiation of Sexual Behavior”

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/114/3/e280

In this study a longitudinal survey was conducted with 1,792 adolescents 12 to 17 years of age.  The researchers used episodes from 23 programs shown on various television networks that were regularly scheduled prime time programs.  They then took the most watched programs by 4 groups (male and female 12-14-year-olds and 15-17-year-olds), in the period from October 2, 2000, to February 18, 2001 and coded them for instances of various sexual conduct.  As part of the baseline survey, teens indicated the frequency with which they watched these 23 programs during the previous TV season on a 4-point scale, ranging from "never" to "every time it’s on.  The results from this study suggest that youths who viewed more sexual content than average behaved sexually like youths who were 9 to 17 months older but watched average amounts of sex on TV.  This means those who watched the highest levels of sexual content among youths their age appeared much like youths 2 to 3 years older who watched the lowest levels of sexual content among their peers. 

 “Does Television Viewing Cultivate Unrealistic Expectations About Marriage?”

http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2002.tb02543.x

 

In this study 285 never married undergraduate students from a southwestern university were asked to describe their hypothetical marriage expectations in an open ended essay.  The study took into account the participants television viewing habits through a questionnaire that asked how many hours of television they watched, the genre of shows they watched, and their perception of how accurate television portrays reality.   The results from this study indicated that those whose television viewing patterns included a large quantity of romantically themed programming were more likely to hold idealistic views of marriage.  The question here however is whether television encourages this ideal or do the viewers seek it out.  The study addresses this issue but does not have a clear cut answer and suggests that socialization both interpersonal and mediated contributes to marital expectations development. 

 

 

In reviewing the above links my conclusion would be that television does have somewhat of an influence in certain situations.  I think it definitely influences younger children and those who watch a lot of one type of show or genre.  I think the best way to curb the influence of television is to limit the amount you watch or turn it off completely.  I believe that the effect the media has upon our perceptions of relationships is possibly the same as the impact that sex and violence has. 

 

Section C: Disjunctive vs. Conjunctive Verbal Interactions

 

 

 

(a)  “The necessity of being verbally intimate with your spouse”

            The conversation style within a relationship is one of the key areas for the longevity of a marriage.  In this section we get an insight into the need for a wife to have her husband communicate with her on an intimate level.  One way for a husband to improve his intimacy with his wife is to embrace the conjunctive style of conversation. 

 

            Section 17a of the lecture notes is divided into five parts all focusing on conjunctive and disjunctive verbal interactions.  The first part deals with sexy vs. unsexy style of verbal interactions that the husband uses.  The first thing that a man thinks about when he hears the words sexy conversation is talking about sex.  This is a common misconception and is not what it means; sexy conversation refers to the ability of the husband to say things that are focused upon his wife to make her feel good. 

 

             One of the unsexiest things a husband can do in a conversation with his wife is become focused upon himself and not care what his wife is saying.  If a man is at this point in the relationship his only concern is controlling his wife.  To control his wife the man will incorporate many unsexy styles including interrupting her when she is speaking, acting annoyed by her opinion, and being uninterested in what she has to say. 

 

            When a husband commits unsexy interactions with his wife she becomes lonely and is in need of the sexy style of interaction from her husband.  The sexy style of verbal interaction refers to the husband’s ability to be empathetic and focused upon what his wife is saying.  When she is talking he needs to be attentive and understanding to what she is saying. 

 

            In section 17a part 2 the focus is upon conjugial interactions and how the ultimate goal in life for both men and women is a unity between them.  In this section it states the purpose god created the universe for was to serve conjugial love. 

 

            In part 3 of section 17 the rules that husband must follow are presented.  If a husband is truly committed to the relationship and wants to have a conjugial interaction he must follow the rules.  The rules consist of being friendly towards his wife, never disagreeing, create a loving atmosphere to converse, and enhance her mood by using sexy conversation. 

 

            In part 4 we get to see specific interactions charted on the ennead chart which involves the threefold self. 

 

            In part 5 we are encouraged to do a field exercise in recognizing those verbal interactions mentioned above. 

 

(b)  “The Definition”

            In my opinion if a husband truly is in love with his wife he will do all he can to be with her and unite with her.  A start towards this unity can lie in the conjunctive form of verbal interactions. The conjunctive form of conversation is a positive way for a husband to communicate with his wife.  The disjunctive form of conversation is a negative way for a husband to communicate with his wife.  Many men are stuck in this disjunctive form of interactions because they are brought up in the dominance phase where the husband dictates the marriage and view it as acceptable.

 

            I believe the overall difference between conjunction and disjunction between couples is that conjunction refers to a man who is supportive and truly interested in what his wife has to say.  In disjunction the man is in the dominance phase and is more concerned with his self than he is with his wife.  The man who exhibits disjunction doesn’t care what his wife says and views her as a sex object to have sex with whenever he wants. 

 

            The relevance of this section to my life is that looking back upon my interactions I would definitely characterize myself as disjunctive.  I feel that I am probably still in the disjunctive mode however I think in taking this class I have become more aware of it. Not only do I notice this disjunctive behavior in myself but also in those around me. 

 

(c)  “Analyzing Dialogue”

 

            The book Gender Discourse by Deborah Tannen provides insight into many different aspects of a conversation.  The following are some snippets from that book to explain a little better the difference between conjunctive and disjunctive verbal interactions.  In the following snippets of conversation Marianne is the wife and Johan is the husband.

 

  1. Marianne:  (Searchingly) has something happened, Johan?

     Johan:  Nothing. Absolutely nothing I swear.

 

Marianne:  We’re pretty honest with each other, you and I. aren’t we?

      Johan:    I think so.

 

Marianne:  it’s awful to go around bottling things up.  One must speak out, however painful it is.  Don’t you think?

     Johan:  (irritably) hell, yes.  What time is it?

 

Marianne:  One fifteen

      Johan:  My watch is always stopping.  What were you saying?  Oh yes, honesty. I suppose you mean over sex, to put it bluntly.

 

Marianne:  Sometimes I think we….

      Johan:  People can’t always live cheek by jowl.  It would be too tiring.

 

Marianne:  Yes, that is the big question.

      Johan:  Anyway, I must go now. 

 

 

The above dialogue between husband and wife is a perfect example of disjunctive verbal interaction.  In the first conversation you can see that Marianne has an inclination that something is troubling her husband and is concerned with his well being.  She pry’s into him to tell her what is wrong.  The man at this point is feeling like he is being lectured to so he immediately goes into defensive mode.   In the third conversation you can see that Johan has become irritated and swears.  He also changes the topic by asking what time is it.  In the fourth conversation he acts like he didn’t hear her and brings up the topic of sex which is a sign that he is trying to reestablish his dominance in the relationship by criticizing her.  In the fifth conversation Johan cuts off his wife to say what he wants to say.  In the sixth conversation the husband leaves the conversation without acknowledging if his wife has finished speaking. 

 

 

Section D: Conclusion and Advice to Future Generations

 

 

(a)   “A Reflection of my Thoughts”

            In reviewing what I have learned so far in this class of marriage psychology the constant topic that always seems to arise is the concept of the threefold self and the three phases of marriage.  The threefold self is a very interesting and well put together concept of interactions that we as human beings in general experience.  They include the cognitive, affective, and sensorimotor actions that we all go through and use on a daily basis.  In relating these interactions towards the marriage relationship you can truly see how they affect a couples interactions with one another.  I feel that looking at our interactions from the perspective of the threefold self allows us to see our flaws in relationships much clearer and in an organized matter. 

 

            In taking this class and being brought aware of the various concepts that occur in marriage and relationships I feel can only benefit me from this point on.  I already find myself applying the concepts that I have learned so far to my daily observations of couples.  Recently I observed a couple in the dominance model where the husband was talking with his wife then started to walk away and the wife yelled out to him to stop and talk with her but he just kept on walking. 

 

            I definitely have found many of the concepts presented to be difficult to follow.  It seems to me that the unity phase can not happen overnight and will take years of dedication by the husband to reach this phase.  The one thing that I found difficult was the submission of the man towards his wife in the unity phase.  I think what makes me skeptical of this phase is the idea that women already have the ability to be united and that men have to do all the work to reach this zone. 

 

            I would maybe modify these concepts by including more information upon subjects like dating before reaching intimacy and the role of children in the marriage. 

 

(b)   “To infinity and beyond”

            In doing this report my main area of focus was getting organized to really sit down and absorb all that I have learned at what my thoughts were of each topic mentioned over this semester.  I think that at this point the content of your report is the main thing that you have to focus on because everything else just falls into place once you get your mind going.  I think the first thing that you should do is read the instructions for the report a couple of times over then start thinking briefly of what you will write for each section.  I find this helpful because I first tried to get an idea of what I was going to write about for each section.  The important part of reading all the questions first is that if you have questions of your own or don’t understand what to do you can consult with Professor James before you begin.

 

Next you should plan out a time schedule to work on your report for example I set aside certain sections for this day of the week and other sections for another day.  Keeping a time schedule will help you to focus upon each section equally instead of cramming everything into the week before it’s due.  I would also become very familiar with the threefold self and the ennead chart in general because these are some of the main concepts. 

 

The benefit of doing all the work required of you in this class is the satisfaction that you are aware of what is truly going on in your relationship.  In general you will have the ability to take your relationship to the next level and hopefully be with the person you truly care about. 

 

 

 

Section E: Links

 

 

My Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/papalii/papalii-home.htm 


G26 Class Home Page: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/classhome-g26.htm