Report 2:
The Unity Model of Marriage:
The Path to Conjugial Love
By Brian Rafael
The instructions for this report are at:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-report2.htm
Introduction
This report
is the second report of two required reports for the Psychology 409b course at
the
Within this report there are five questions that I have chosen to answer from a selection of fifteen questions. Each question is answered with concepts learned throughout the semester on the unity model of marriage. The unity model of marriage focuses on the threefold self of the husband through the progression of three models or phases. The threefold self consist of the sensorimotor self (observable or external actions), cognitive self (thoughts), and the affective self (feelings). The models of marriage start from the dominance phase (focus on the self), to the equity phase (focus on equality between partners), and lastly the unity phase (focus on the partner). Through the unity model of marriage a husband can learn and recognize that being self—centered and independent of his wife is harmful to conjugial love. Recognizing that his wife holds the key to eternal happiness as a conjoint self in heaven, a husband will become enlightened. This is the basis for the answers to the five chosen questions.
I am answering Questions 2, 6, 7, 12, and
14
The Question I am answering is Question 2:
A husband and wife seem to get along real well together, enjoying the same activities, having fun, being popular with friends, etc. Then they have a fight over some disagreement and they show disrespect and hatred for each other.
(a) Explain why this turnabout can happen and what is its cause. You must use some aspect of the theory given in the Lecture Notes.
(b) Discuss how married partners can reverse this flip-flop cycle so that it occurs less and less frequently in their interactions. In your explanation be sure to apply the unity model, the threefold self, and the conjoint self, as explained in the Lecture Notes.
(d) The unity model says that men are initially resistant to mental intimacy and to conjugial unity. Collect data to either confirm or disconfirm this prediction. Interview some women and some men of varying ages (to the extent possible). Make up a checklist consisting of 10 items that highlight what the women and men have said about their experiences regarding intimacy in couples.
(e) Discuss the list and then compare the views of the men and the women.
The Wrong Turn
When a husband and wife get along real well together by enjoying the same activities, having fun, being popular with friends, etc. the couple is only united at the external sensorimotor self or the physical interactions in which others can observe. As a disagreement arises, they begin to show disrespect and hatred for each other because the husband maintains separate thoughts and attitudes by resisting his wife’s attempts to modify them. The ongoing disrespect and hatred is the result of not being united internally at the cognitive level and even less united at the inmost level or affective self which should be the goal in a relationship. It seems as though the husband and wife being described in the question above is united at the external sensorimotor equity phase of their relationship because at this model the couple gets into a routine where they negotiate outcomes to their problems. In the equity phase a couple continues to show disrespect and hatred toward each other because they prefer to remain at a certain distance in their intimacy in areas where they both agree to some legitimate independence.
By remaining at a certain distance on legitimate topics such as religion, what is first best or second best, what hobbies on can and cannot do, and situations where control is trying to be established over the other partner, will lead to the concept of agreeing to disagree. This concept holds back a couple from uniting at the cognitive and affective level because it is injurious to the growth of intimacy between the couple and therefore a woman cannot go further in cognitive intimacy than the man is willing to tolerate at the time. This is most likely because the man reserved the right to fall back into the dominance model where only his independent needs matter and he rejects the motivations and perceptions of his wife. Therefore a couple will remain in a disrespectful state toward each other because of legitimate independence, the concept of agreeing to disagree, and the husband’s right to regress into the dominance model when his perceptions are challenged by his wife’s.
The Path to get on Track
The occurrence of an argument most likely arises from the unsexy conversational style of the husband regardless of what the situation is about or why the argument has brought about disjunctive interactions among the couple. According to the unity model of marriage, “unsexy” means that the wife’s feelings of conjunction and intimacy with her husband has been broken and needs fixing. In order to flip flop the interactions of disrespect and hatred to conjugial love, the husband must reverse his interactions which brought about the argument and agree with his wife on the situation through all levels of the unity model; the dominance level, the equity level, and the unity level. He must show regret for upsetting her through his threefold self in order to restore their intimacy. In the husband’s threefold self there is the sensorimotor, cognitive, and affective self where the sensorimotor self is justified by the cognitive self and fully supported by the affective self. The main goal is to purify his threefold self at the unity model of marriage in which the husband’s wants and motivations are aligned with his wife’s.
At the sensorimotor self, the husband must use a sexy conversational style toward his wife. He needs to learn how to give his wife the feeling that he is interested in maintaining her topics of focus, over and over again, by showing that he wants to hear what she wants to say to him. The husband can do this by being very reactive which gives his wife the feeling that he is paying attention to her and values her views. Some sensorimotor interactions for a sexy conversational style are to smile when she smiles, frown when she frowns, and act surprised when she finds something surprising. When a husband uses a sexy conversational style it allows the wife to experience inner peace which she craves for and needs in order to survive as a woman.
At the cognitive self, the husband must refuse to disagree with his wife in his own mind; he has made his heaven to be in the order of his wife’s heaven. In order for the husband to reject the fuel that fires an argument he must realize that when his wife is being pushy or a nag it is only because she is trying to conjoin herself to him. When the wife wants to know where the husband is every moment of the day and what he is doing, it is not because she is controlling or jealous, she just conforming to his life. The husband should love what his wife thinks more than his own thoughts, meaning that he wants to arrange his heaven in the order of the wife’s heaven. Once the husband sees this dynamic and understands it rationally, he will become enlightened and able to move onto the affective unity phase in the unity model of marriage.
Once a husband is able to become enlightened he can now focus on his affective self in which he will continue to practice his new sexy way of interacting with his wife because he loves it. It is only now that his focus is conjugial love with his wife, which is the attainment of unity between husband and wife in the eternity of their heaven. This is the highest love in which everything derives from and the husband loves what she thinks and does what she loves. At the affective level the husband will feel the need to conjoin himself to his wife in a unity relationship of a conjugial heaven in which they both can exist together, or as a conjoint self. Therefore the level at which the husband is at his affective self will determine the outcome of the cognitive and sensorimotor self. In order to reduce the arguments between couples, husbands must recognize his ultimate goal of a conjoint self, with his wife, through his affective self in the unity model of marriage.
Thoughts on Male Intimacy and Unity
From the perspective of the unity model it is stated the men are initially resistant to mental intimacy and conjugial unity. I have found evidence that this is true according to the unity model of marriage. Women desire mental intimacy with their partner but it is the husbands who stand in the way of mental intimacy and finds this type of intimacy as aversive. The husband on the other hand desires sexual relief, or physical intimacy, which is scene as self—centered and not couple—centered, or wife—centered. It has been said that a man is also genital—centered and gets all jammed up inside id he doesn’t receive enough sex from his wife, but when a woman refuses to have sex with her husband it is because he doesn’t want to be mentally intimate with her. Being “unjammed” is the focus for the husband when it comes to being intimate.
According to the unity model of marriage, the husband is to blame at the unity level because he is not adequately preparing the wife to be mentally receptive to him. When a man gets married he brings with him the traditional male dominant perspective or masculine perspective which separates mental intimacy from physical intimacy. The masculine perspective focuses on physical intimacy of having sex with his wife regardless of the wife’s thoughts and feelings. This can be seen as prostitution or casual sex where mental intimacy is not required to be present. From the feminine perspective, mental intimacy comes first and the sex or physical intimacy is a product of it. In order for a couple to become a conjoint self, the husband must become feminized through the wife’s perspective and stop treating her as a prostitute. Therefore, men are initially resistant to mental intimacy and conjugial unity because of their self—centered or genital—centered mind, their masculine perspective, and the idea of being unjammed as an excuse for having sex. This confirms the concept of men according to the unity model of marriage.
After confirming that men are initially resistant to mental intimacy, I interview several individuals with the focus on their experiences with intimate relationships. The individuals ranged from adolescence to late adulthood. Here are the ten most common experiences with intimate relationships from both men and women. The order in which the experiences appear does not infer that it was the number one experience with intimate relationships.
1. The more the couple is in love, the more intimate they are with each other
2. The more a man wants something, the nicer he is toward the woman.
3. Woman feel more intimate if the man isn’t told to be intimate with them
4. Men feel that being intimate is being good in bed
5. Intimacy is being close to each other and understanding how each other feels
6. Being intimate is being sensual (physically sexual)
7. Intimacy is love with no strings attached
8. Being intimate is loving your partner for who they are on the inside
9. Being intimate means giving everything up to your partner
10. Intimacy is expressed through your interactions with your partner
Discussion
The ten items on intimacy reflect the stereotypes of what intimacy is to three different cohorts: adolescence, parents or adults, and late adults such as grand parents. Within each cohort there was a man and a woman’s perspective on their experiences with intimacy. I have come to find that the items which lean more toward intimacy as being physical are the stereotypes of men. On the other hand, those items that lean more toward the mental side of intimacy are experiences by woman, regardless of what cohort they’re from. Items 2, 4, 5, and 6 are seen as physical intimacies to me and items 1, 3, and 7-10 are seen as mental intimacy. The items in which both genders experienced as being intimate were items 5 and 8. Both men and woman believe that you need to be close to your partner both physically and intimately and be able to understand where they are coming from. By loving someone for their inside and not their outside is a good example of being mentally intimate. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that men do have the masculine perspective and women the feminine perspective regarding intimacy.
The Question I am answering is Question 6:
(a) Consider Section 5.1 Sexuality: Love of the Sex vs. Love of One of the
Sex in the Lecture Notes
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm#sexuality
Describe the difference between the two types of loves as explained there.
(b) Go to Dr. Phil's Web site www.drphil.com/shows/show/378
and look at the synopsis of his advice to several women who are seeking his advice
on how they can improve their sexual relationship with their husbands. As for
example here: www.drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/2009/?id=2009&isTip=&slide=1&null=null
You can also look at some other materials by him. Now analyze Dr. Phil's
approach to sexuality in relation to your answer in (a).
(c) State your conclusions and recommendations.
Natural—Sensuous Non—Intimate Sexuality vs. Spiritual—Sensual
Sexuality
The unity model distinguishes two forms of sexuality, one that belongs to our heavenly mind and the other to our hellish mind. The sexuality belonging to our heavenly mind is known as the exclusive love of one of the sex with just one and the sexuality belonging to our hellish mind is known as the non—exclusive love of the sex with many.
The exclusive love of one of the sex is defined as loving a particular person sexually. This is also known as spiritual—sensual sexuality in whish sexual activity contains the context of mental intimacy. This is the type of sex that corresponds to celestial marriage or conjugial love, which is a spiritual marriage and love that only humans can experience here on earth and heaven. When those who are spiritual, the love of the sex are expelled and conjugial love is installed. Love of one of the sex is full of the most intimate delights and extremely pleasant feelings which affects all parts of the chest. Spiritual—sensual sexuality is chaste love which is the love of the spirit leading to the love of the body where a couple can grow day by day not as two separate people but as one person, a conjoint self. Altogether, exclusive love of one of the sex encompasses a husband loving only one woman for who she is and making her feel love not only through physical entities but through her needs and motivations that she wants him to do. A husband who poses spiritual—sensual sexuality will fulfill his wife’s inmost pleasures.
On the other hand, the exclusive love of the sex with many is not intimate at any level and defined as to love one’s own pleasure in the activity with whoever is available or suitable. This is also known as natural—sensuous non—intimate sexuality because it is the love of indiscriminate sex without intimacy regardless of person, situation, or condition just like animals. This type of sex without intimacy is exploitative, selfish, or abusive because it is tied to the love of self for the sake of self also known as altruistic sex. The concept of sexual blackmail is most likely a form of non—exclusive love of the sex because is forces the wife to have sex with her husband regardless of the intimacy that is missing. Therefore natural—sensuous non—intimate sex has no spiritual context, it is not personal, intimate, lasting in interest, or passionate. This is the self centered masculine perspective of a husband; all he wants and needs is sex and will get it one way or another whether it is with his wife or several prostitutes.
The Sexuality of Dr. Phil
In analyzing Dr. Phil’s advice through his sessions with women and couples, I have found that he portrays the sexuality of both the love of the sex and the love of one of the sex. In the session with four troubled wives Anette, Dana Karen, and Mellisa, they express their feelings of loneliness in their relationship. The women wish that their husbands would be more than just romantic but share the same feelings of intimacy as they do for their husbands. Anette states that her husband used to buy sexy lingerie and roses for her, but now it has stopped since they have been married. Dr. Phil advises Anette that she does not need these things no more because she is a married woman. From this advice of Dr. Phil he is portraying the love of one of the sex by telling Anette that materialistic objects do not improve intimacy. Materialistic objects such as lingerie and roses are characteristics of the love of the sex because a husband can give these things to any woman.
Another
statement of advice that Dr. Phil addresses toward Dana and her husband Jamie
uses the concept of the love of one of the sex. Jamie, Dana’s husband, has had
an affair while he was gone at
Dr. Phil gives the right advice at first by telling the couple that having a threesome is unhealthy to their relationship because it will seal the fate of their marriage and doom it. Threesomes are a characteristic of the love of the sex because the husband’s love is for many and not one, his wife. Toward the end of the session Dr. Phil contradicts himself by giving the advice to have sex in different parts of the house and different positions in order to enhance their intimacy. Different positions and different places of the house is not what Kelli wants. She wants her husband to stop fantasizing about a threesome and become mentally intimate with her as they were in the beginning. As Dr. Phil advices different positions and places he resembles the sex rituals of animals that have sex in different positions and different place. This is a sex of reproduction and survival and not the sex of mental intimacy. Animals have the sexuality of the love of sex and giving advice to be animals is Dr. Phil’s contradiction of sexualities.
Conclusions and Recommendations
In conclusion, Dr. Phil does portray sexualities, the love of the sex and the love of one of the sex, through his advice to his clients. The love of the sex is when the husband loves his own pleasurable activities with whoever is available or suitable. Such activities as adultery can be seen as the love of the sex because to woman other than his wife was the more available person at the time. On the other hand the love of one of the sex is defined as loving one person sexually through mental intimacy. I feel that the difference between the sexualities is not only the one vs. many that the husband chooses to have sexual intercourse with, but the level of intimacy that the husband has for his wife. The husband may only be having sex with his wife but at the physical level, such as Dr. Phil advices with different positions and places. In order to fulfill the love of one of the sex the husband must first love the wants and motivations of the wife which the four women express toward Dr. Phil.
The four women express wants of romance, closeness, conversations as best friends, and affection. When a husband acknowledges these perceptions of their wives, the sex that they will enjoy will be the highest feeling ever felt before. On the other hand, the love of the sex decreases intimacy and only brings sexual pleasures to the husband if this is all that he desires. If the husband has the thought of “I need to have sex to relax and get rid of my stress” he is thinking of only self pleasure and not his partner. For husbands that have this mind set I recommend that they get with the program. Listen to the sexual desires of their wives which come from their thoughts and not their performance in bed. If you are not getting the sex that you desire than that is your fault. You will see that once you become mentally intimate with your wife you will experience unbelievable sex which those in heaven experience as one.
To Dr. Phil, I feel that you are on the right track of diminishing the sexuality of the love of the sex but need to stick to your initial advice rather than turning to sexual positions and maybe even role playing to enhance sexual intimacy. Follow up on your advice to love only one person and have mental intimacy with that one person. By turning to materialistic ways to enhance sex is also unhealthy to marriages, as you stated with the threesome issues. As Dr. Phil uses the love of the sex view he is portraying the traditional norms to the public and helping out the media in their path to continue using AUVs. Therefore both sexualities exist in our society. Talk show hosts such as Dr. Phil portray both sexualities but the goal of any husband in a marriage relationship should be the sexuality the love of one of the sex.
The Question I am answering is Question 7:
(a) Consider Section 17a. Gender Discourse Within the Three Models in
the Lecture Notes at
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm#17a._Gender_Discourse
Explain in your own words how the conversational style between husband and wife
reflects what is going on in the intimacy of their relationship. Make sure you
discuss the three phases in relation to conversational style (dominant style,
equity style, and unity style).
(b) Create a conversation between them that exhibits several elements mentioned throughout Section 17a regarding the conversational style of married partners. Number the lines. Add whatever explanatory notes are needed for readers to understand what's going on. (Note: you are allowed to use borrowed parts of an actual conversation you heard or read somewhere -- but you need to edit and adapt it so it fits with this answer.)
(c) Analyze the conversation, explaining to readers what its elements exhibit. Use the line numbers to be specific.
The Communication of Intimacy
The conversational style between a husband and wife can reflect what is going on in the intimacy of the relationship based on the interactions of the husband toward the wife. In a conversation a husband can either uses conjunctive or disjunctive interactions toward his wife. Conjunctive interactions are verbal and non—verbal interactions that enhance the intimacy between a couple where as disjunctive interactions lower or diminish the intimacy between a couple. From theses two categories of interactions, sexy conversational styles are considered conjunctive and unsexy conversational styles are considered disjunctive and from these conversational styles one can infer how much intimacy a husband and wife have in their relationship.
If a couple has a relationship where there is little or not intimacy, the husband will use a dominant or unsexy conversational toward his wife. In the unsexy style, a husband shows little or not concern for his wife’s thoughts or perceptions on a situation or topic at hand. He dominants the conversation by interrupting her, using harsh tones, and even implying gestures to intimidate her. Gestures such as rolling his eyes or being a blank state shows that the husband does not care for what the wife is saying and punishes her but being a statue. This infers that the husband wants the wife to stop babbling on about some careless topic so that he can talk about what he wants to. Another aspect of a dominant conversational style is the way speaks toward his wife. If he speaks toward her as though she were a dog or school child, this is seen as unsexy and diminishes all intimacy between a husband and wife.
As the husband realizes that his wife has a mind of her own and she has her own point of views, the couple moves into a more intimate conversational style in the equity model. In this model the husband uses both sexy and unsexy conversational styles. The conversations usually start out as being sexy where the husband allows his wife to speak her own mind and he actually listens. It is only when the husband feels that his wife’s views are not inline with his views when he starts to revert back to the unsexy conversational style. A couple in the equity model is usually scene arguing most of the time because of this sexy and unsexy cycle. The cycle continues on every aspect in which the husband remains independent from his wife and in order to get his point across he will sometimes lie, manipulate, and exaggerate his points to be of more importance than his wife.
Finally as the husband recognizes all of his disjunctive interactions toward his wife, he will move into using a sexy conversational style with his wife at all time regardless of his own feelings. When a husband recognizes that his wife’s thoughts and motivations are more important than his, he is enlightened and will begin his path toward the inmost intimacy which his wife desires. In a sexy conversational style the husband is compliment to every gesture, suggestion, and emotion that his wife expresses. The key here is to no just compliment by a single movement but to be animated in his compliments as to be one of his wife’s girlfriends. The husband will respond thought a feminine perspective with intimacy and agreement to his wife’s preference. It is only at the unity model when a couple resembles the most intimacy toward each other. Although it may seem as though the husband is a weak, the pleasure he will experience as a result of being sexy with his wife are something that words can not explain.
Developing an Intimate Conversation
In this section I will develop a conversation of a husband and wife where they start off at the dominance level and work their way through the equity model and finally ending in the unity model. Please take note that a conversation like this one will not place a couple in the unity model forever because the husband must practice his conjunctive interactions toward his wife by starting out in the unity model and ending in the unity model.
This conversations starts off when a husband returns home from a hard day at work.
1.
Wife:
Hey
hunny. How was your day at work?
(While walking toward her husband)
2. Husband: It was okay, just the usual stuff.
(While walking away from his wife)
3. Wife: Well my day was pretty…
(Husband interrupts)
4. Husband: I’m too tired rights now just save it for later.
(Kicks off his shoes and turns on the TV)
5. Wife: I just feel like you would like to know what I did today.
(Sitting down next to her husband)
6. Husband: Well that’s good. Have you seen the remote?
(Stands up and walks around the living room)
7. Wife: I hid it
(Staring straight at him)
8. Husband: Why did you hide it?
(Raising his voice)
9. Wife: I just wanted to talk a little.
10. Husband: We are talking right now, so where is the remote.
(Husband still wandering around the room)
11. Wife: It’s in the kitchen.
12.
Husband:
Thanks
and don’t ever do that again when I get home from work you know I’m tired.
(Husband still uses a raised voice and walks toward the kitchen)
The conversation continues after the husband and wife lay down for bed.
13. Wife: Are you feeling a little better after you relaxed?
(Saying this as she gets into bed)
14.
Husband:
Yes and
I’m sorry for reacting the way I did, but you have to understand my needs.
(Husband already in bed sits up and faces her)
15. Wife: What needs?
16. Husband: That I come home from work and want to relax before anything else.
17.
Wife:
I
understand but I just want to talk to someone because I’m stuck at home all
day, and I’d rather talk to you.
(Turning toward her husband)
18.
Husband:
I know
you want to talk to me but can you wait a few minutes before asking questions.
(Husband using hand gestures)
19. Wife: I would just like to see how your day was and share with you some of mine.
20. Husband: That’s fine, just wait a little please.
(As he turns off the light to go to bed)
The last part of their conversation happens when the wife has a nightmare and her husband wakes up to it.
21. Husband: What happen? Are you okay?
(Waking up quickly and turning on the light)
22. Wife: I just had a terrible night mare and I was trying not to wake you up because I can’t go back to sleep.
(Looking afraid because her husband woke up)
23. Husband: No don’t worry about it. So what happened in this nightmare?
(Husband sitting up straight and wiping his eyes)
24. Wife: Well to me it was a night mare.
25. Husband: Its okay, you can tell me that’s what I am here for.
26.
Wife:
It
started out at the grocery store and there was a robber in the store. I was
afraid that he was going to come and rob me.
27. Husband: Were there any other people in the store?
28. Wife: I think so. I couldn’t see.
(Wife making a facial expression of thinking)
29. (Husband pauses as he was to think) Husband: Were you blind or was it just one of those dreams where you can’t see faces.
30. Wife: Just one of those dreams, but I didn’t get robbed.
(With a sign of the idea coming to mind)
31. (Husband looking surprised) Husband: How did you escape?
32. Wife: I just ran away.
(With an easy go expression)
33. Husband: That sounded like a pretty scary situation for a nightmare.
34. Wife: Yes, it was. Now go back to sleep while I wash my face.
35. Husband: Okay sounds good.
(But doesn’t fall asleep or shut off the light till his wife returns)
The Intimacy behind the Conversation
In applying the concept of the sexy vs. unsexy conversational style, through all three models of unity, to the series of conversations above we can infer how much mental intimacy there is between the couple. In the first conversation we see the husband utilizing an unsexy conversational style in the dominance model. In lines 2 and 4 we see the husband replying to his wife by doing other things and not talking straight toward her, which infers that the husband to be self—centered and is not talking into account his wife’s feelings. Especially in line 4 we see the husband interrupt his wife in the middle of the sentence showing that he is focusing on himself. Another unsexy conversational action performed by the husband is in line 6 where he decides to change the topic, again showing that he is not interested in his wife’s topic. In line 8 and 12 we see the husband raise his voice toward hi wife which is an unsexy dominant conversational style of trying to control his wife, which worked because she told him where the remote was.
The second conversational style the husband chooses to use a sexy conversational style but in the equity model where negotiation is a major role player in the relationship. In lines 14 and 18 the husband shows that he is interested in what the wife has to say by sitting up in bad to face her and using hand gestures as to be animated in his story. Although the husband is using the sexy conversational style he still stands by his own independent needs of why he needs to relax before they talk. This can be considered unsexy because the husband is not being receptive of his wife’s ideas and motivations for a conversation when he gets home. The husband is being unsexy because he is still trying to defend his independent needs, which was shown in lines 16-19. In line 20 we see the husband revert back to an unsexy conversational style because he changes the conversation and turns off the light, even though his wife may not be finish. This can be seen as a form of interrupting.
Lastly, the final conversation demonstrates a sexy conversational style in the unity model by the husband because no matter what time it was, early morning or the middle of the night, the husband rushed to open his ears for his wife’s perceptions and wants. In lines 21 and 23 we see the husband sprout up from a deep sleep and quickly focus his self on his wife. This is sexy because being focused means he is there for his wife, ready to soak in her thoughts. In lines 25, 27, 29, and 31 we see that the husband is refraining from giving solutions to his wife’s nightmare and rather drawing out the story of the nightmare. This is sexy because the husband shows his wife verbally that he is paying attention and wants to know more about her dream. Lastly, the non—verbal facial expression by the husband of complimenting his wife’s expression through the story seals the deal of a sexy conversation. In lines 29 and 31 we see the expression of the husband follow the wife, which demonstrate complementation.
In conclusion, the unsexy conversations will ring about less intimacy and the sexy conversations will bring out more intimacy. Although sexy conversations can be used at the equity and dominance level, the non—verbal communications are what set the sexy conversation in the unity model to have more intimacy. As seen in the equity model, one may be sexy in verbal communication but unsexy in their non—verbal communication which puts a stop sign in front of intimacy. Where as in the unity model the husband is sexy at all levels of communication therefore producing the highest level of mental intimacy between the couple.
The Question I am answering is Question 12:
a) Select three couples that you know, in such a way that one is going to fail, one that is going to succeed, and one that has mixed components (success and failure, up and down).
(b) Explain why you think that the couples are failing or succeeding. Show how the unity model (with three phases) helps you understand the relationship dynamics for each couple. Give specific examples of their behaviors in the threefold self regarding conjunctive and disjunctive interactions. How would you advise them to help them succeed?
The Unity Model Couples
The Downhill Couple
Dana and Kalani have been in a relationship from the beginning of the semester. The couple started on the wrong foot from the very beginning of the relationship because Kalani already had a girlfriend at the time he met Dana. After only a week of talking to each other Kalani insisted that he no longer had a girlfriend and that he only wanted Dana, but this was a lie that he told Dana everyday. They started to see each other regardless if Kalani still had a girlfriend or not, which we all knew that he did. Lying was an everyday event that Kalani would display toward Dana when she would ask him where had gone or what he had done. I remember one particular time when Kalani was suppose to pick up Dana and take her to the doctors and Kalani was an hour and a half late. Dana asked Kalani, in front of all her friends, “Why are you so late and why did you not pick up the phone?” Kalani replied, “I was busy.”
Then Dana kept asking him where had he been and Kalani yelled at Dana saying that she was being a nag and a bitch. This shocked all of us, but when Dana refused to go with him to her appointment he grabbed her and yanked her into the car. Later on that week Dana told us that now whenever she tries to ask Kalani something that he does not want to talk about he just continues to do what he wants to do and stays quiet, like a statue. Dana says that she really likes him and that he is not mean to her all the time. She says that the only time that he is nice is when he wants to have sex or some type of physical pleasure, and when she refuses to give in to the physical activities he returns to the statue. This is a couple that is destining to break apart as soon as possible.
The Stuck in Between Couple
Jackie and Sean have been together for almost two years now and have had many up and downs in their relationship. On certain days they are happy, smiling and laughing while holding hands and hugging. On other days I do not see them together but rather in the same area but not looking at each other. I have come to realize that on the days they are not together, they have either got into an argument or just fed up with each other. This pattern of happy and then disagreement happens on a week to week basis, but on the days that they are together it seems as though nothing unpleasant has ever happened in the past. I see Jackie and Sean as an in between couple in the relationship because they are neither leaning toward success or failure but rather canceling out the path for success by encountering so many failures.
The Right Path Couple
Amanda and
Eugene is the perfect couple both physically and mentally. They are seen as a
cute couple that matches in their appearance and the way that they interact
with each other. Although
Analysis and
Advice to the Couples
Analysis
In analyzing each couple through the unity model of marriage, I see each couple representing a specific model of the unity model. The downhill couple can be seen as a couple in the dominance model, the stuck in between couple in the equity model, and the right path couple portraying the unity model. By observing the sensorimotor interactions of each couple one can infer where the couple is cognitively and affectively because the sensorimotor self is justified by the cognitive self and fully supported by the affective self. The sensorimotor self consist of the physical interactions between couples; the cognitive self is the thoughts among couples, and the affective self is the feeling between couples. As stated in the unity model of marriage when the interactions of a couple arise from the affective self, the cognitive and sensorimotor selves are a product of how strong the feelings are among the couple. From using these processes the threefold self I was able to analyze where each couple falls in the unity model of marriage.
I feel that the downhill couple is going to fail because of the power that Kalani holds over Dana placing her as a subordinate under him. According to the unity model of marriage, a couple is in the dominance model when the man relies on the coercive power of tradition and expectation to force their wife to be obedient, regardless of the woman’s feelings. In the dominance model most of the interactions are seen as disjunctive, or in opposition toward the path of unity at the inmost intimacy. Kalani chooses to dominate Dana through his thoughts and feelings because he is self centered and independent of his own perceptions and motivations. The worst part about their relationship is Dana allows herself to comply with the disjunctive dominant interactions brought upon her. From the situation I gave above when describing their relationship you can see several disjunctive interactions by Kalani toward Dana. Here is a list of the disjunctive interactions with an explanation why they push the couple to a failing relationship.
From analyzing the disjunctive interactions between Kalani and Dana, I place them in the dominance model because Kalani is independent of Dana and she chooses to comply with this treatment. Eventually Dana will get fed up with the coercive treatment from Kalani therefore ending the relationship for the better of her. Moving on to the stuck in between couple, Jackie and Sean, I placed them in the equity model because of the up and cycle of their relationship. In the equity model, the man realizes that his wife’s perceptions are important but still reserves the right to keep his independent ways therefore the main focus at the equity level is the concept of negotiation at the cognitive self. Jackie and Sean are constantly happy one week and then miserable the second week. I analyzed their sensorimotor interactions and have come to infer that the reason this cycle occurs is because of the negotiation power that Jackie now holds in the relationship.
The times that Jackie and Sean are happy are a result of their new habit of allowing Jackie to argue with Sean until they come to a consensus. When Sean allows himself not to resist the thoughts and perceptions of Jackie on topics at present, he is using a sexy conversational style which is allowing the woman to speak her mind and the man being animated toward the woman during the course of the conversation. I observed Sean being animated by smiling when Jackie smiles, laughing with her, and not interrupting her with advice but rather discussing the many outcomes that are possible. On the other hand, when the couple is in the miserable state where they are separated in the same room, Sean is the one to blame. He is to blame because he decides to move back into the dominance stage using disjunctive interactions by being unsexy in the conversations where his traditional independent needs are infringed upon. In this situation Sean does not allow Jackie to use her negotiation powers and reverting to the dominance model by being selfish and foolish.
This regress back to the dominance
phase is a working process of the equity model because regardless of the
regression the man still wants and realizes that he must grow enough to be able
to give up his independence at the affective level so that he elevates her
motivations and perceptions above his. For this reason, this is why Jackie and
Sean are stuck in between because after they are miserable, Sean realizes that
Jackie is right and therefore they become happy again. Lastly, the couple that
is on the right path is Amanda and Eugene. I placed their relationship in the
unity model because of
From observing Eugene and Amanda
over the past years of the relationship, they have grown into the unity model
by eliminating several and almost all disjunctive interactions and AUVs. Early
on in the relationship
Amanda and Eugene’s relationship is moving in the path of inmost intimacy because their sensorimotor interactions of just one single hug shows how great their affection is toward one another. To me they are the perfect example of the product in the making of the unity model of marriage.
Advice
For each couple in which I described and analyzed, there is a different but also similar path to follow. The key to a successful relationship is the change of the man’s point of view of the goal in the relationship. The woman should not have to change her motivations and perceptions to compliment the man’s wants and needs because the women are born with the mental intellect to lead a man’s heart to realize that a relationship must go on to afterlife in eternity. For the downhill couple, in order to save the relationship Kalani must realize his disjunctive traditional interactions and Dana must help him recognize his interactions. Kalani needs to realize that the more disjunctive interactions her uses toward Dana, the feelings Dana has toward him will slowly start to diminish. In order to move along the path to succeed in the unity model of marriage, Kalani will need to realize that Dana has motivations and feelings too, and allow her to negotiate on topics and use a sexy conversational style to enhance the intimacy at the mental level and not only the physical level.
The stuck in between couple will remain in the equity model if Sean does not realize that Jackie wants him to take the initiative in going along with her perceptions and instincts. When the relationship is in the miserable state, it is Sean’s duty to fix it by aligning his thoughts and perceptions towards Jackie’s after he has resisted her thoughts. By resisting a woman’s thoughts, this places the relationship back into the dominance model and in order to repair the hurtful feelings, the man must make up for it, not physically but mentally. This is my advice to Sean in order to stop the failing process of his relationship. When you become independent and not allow Jackie to express her thoughts on the situations, you hurt her mentally and must make up for it. To fix the cycle of up and downs, Sean needs to realize that Jackie’s perceptions are more important than his and when he realizes this the miserable days will stop and hopefully the relationship can move into the unity model where Sean does everything to in his will to pleasure Jackie rather than himself.
Lastly the
advice I would give to the couple on the right path is for
The
Question I am answering is Question 14:
(a) Explore the song analysis technique used by students in the 1982
generation: www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/student3/amyl/public_html/499/songls.html
Describe the technique they used for song analysis and their conclusions. What
is your reaction in relation to AUVs and UVs?
(b) Explore the song analysis technique used by G24 students in 2006:
www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2006/ See
their Report 1, section (e).
Describe the technique they used for song analysis and their conclusions. What
is your reaction in relation to AUVs and UVs?
(c) Read the article titled "Why Britney Spears Matters"
at: www.gwu.edu/~medusa/2001/britney.html
Summarize and discuss what the article says. Discuss the article in relation to
the unity model and the three phases.
(e) What are the social implications of all this, e.g., for you, your sisters, young women. What do you recommend as a way of dealing with the situation?
Generation 1982 Song Analysis
In the 1982 generation, students chose mostly songs that portrayed hidden meanings of AUVs. In each song the students analyzed the song by choosing only the phrases or sentences that brought out the meaning behind the whole song. Although each analysis contained only the important sentences and phrases, they picked out the phrases where the song started with a dilemma and ended with a solution. It seems as though each song chosen had a moral to the audience. In their conclusions, many of the songs were analyzed as starting out as having negative feelings of intimidation and in order to overcome those negative feelings one must move away form the social implications of the community and find spiritual awakening whether through the bonding of God or the unity through friends. Many of the conclusions entailed that one listen to their inner dialogue in order to become spiritually awaken. One conclusion that I found very interesting was from the song Grand Illusion where the analyzer stated that even though you make it to the top of the business world, it doesn’t mean that you are at the top of your spiritual self.
My Reactions
My initial reactions
to the analysis of the songs were confusion. I really had no idea about the
meanings behind the songs until I read them over a couple of times. I believe
most of the songs are being sung from the point of view of a woman. After
understanding a little more about what the meanings were I could see that most
of the songs were about how a woman could overcome the traditional norms of
society and how couples could be united through spiritual awakening. The
feeling of intimidation stems from the AUV that women are not as rational as
men bringing feelings of negative emotions upon one’s self. When women begin to
question their internal roles they see themselves as being foolish because they
know that they will never be as good or as important as men, which is another
AUV.
Another AUV that was portrayed in the song Evergreen
was promoting the idea that one should not try to change one’s partner but
should accept them with their faults. The student analyzing this song saw it as
passionate love but I see it as an excuse to agree to disagree because no one
in the relationship wants to change, especially the husband. On the other hand,
there were a couple of songs that promoted UVs, such as becoming spiritually
united. In the song the Bond of Love it portrays the concept of being
spiritually bonded through God who will lead you to spiritual understanding and
enlightenment. This is a UV because the goal of a couple should be a conjoint
self which is conjugial love as one in eternal afterlife. In conclusion, I feel
that there are hidden meanings under the songs analyzed by the students in the
1982 generations and it was very difficult to comprehend. At first I though
there were more UVs, but after reading them over and over I can see the same
amount of traditional AUVs being portrayed in present song lyrics just like the
ones in the 1980s, but a little more conservative.
Generation 24 (2006)
In generation 24, every student chose songs that contained AUVs because they are the most assessable and prominent songs found in society today. Different from the 1982 generation, these students chose to analyze two songs within their report. In each song analysis the students typed out all the song lyrics and then made general conclusion about what the meaning behind the song is rather than picking out the main concepts of the songs as generation 1982 did. It seems as though students analyzed songs that seem to be acceptable in the community but once analyzed, several students found the hidden meaning behind the lyrics. Also, after their analysis of their chosen songs, students interviewed their peers and family members to see their reaction to songs they considered acceptable. The most common reactions toward the analysis were “I never looked at it (the song) that way.” The students found that the mist common reasons for listening to these songs that portray AUVs were the beat sounds really good and I never pay attention to the lyrics.
In the student’s conclusions, the most prominent AUVs that are being expressed through the modern day songs are promiscuity and the exploitation of women. There were several other AUVs presented throughout several songs, but these two AUVs were the most commonly seen in the analyses of the students. Several of the conclusions stated that songs which portray AUVs influence the minds of the listeners either by instilling superficial meanings of beauty or sex and miscued identity for women and men. They believe that these types of songs strongly affect the minds of the youth by teaching them a false image toward their identity. They will learn this false image because they are less experienced with relationships and will follow what the songs are portraying to find answers. Lastly, these songs affect the minds of the youth differently for boys and girls. They feel that rappers are encouraging promiscuity of the women and exploitation of the women by the men. The students feel that this is detrimental to marriage and couples striving to have a perfect relationship.
My Reactions
Since this generation utilized songs that were more familiar to me, it was a lot easier to understand where each of the student’s thoughts was coming from. As songs such as Big Pimpin’, Confessions, and Just a lil’ bit emerged out into the mainstream media, I also did not think that these songs were portraying AUVs. After reading the analysis to these songs by students on generation 24 I can now identify the AUVs being used throughout the lyrics of everyday rap artists. At first I always listened to songs because of the beats or because it just made me relax, but now on the way home from school I try to pick out new songs on the radio to see what AUVs are still being portrayed through the singers. Just like the students from generation 24 I have found several songs to promote the AUVs of promiscuity and exploitation of women. The song Secret Lovers, which was analyzed by Carly Kaeremaru, was a song in which I thought would portray UVs of love of one of the sex and unity between a couple, but after looking at her analysis I was wrong.
Carly analyzed the song as promoting adultery because the artist is singing about a secret partner other than their supposedly soul mate. The artist sings about how the secret lover is all they will be and it is what one should have in order to find the right person. From this song I have now come to the conclusion that the love of the sex is more important now days than the love of one of the sex through the use of promiscuity. I feel that more songs should be sung about UVs such as unity between a couple in heaven and the path one should take to get there, but that will never happen. The reason that songs will not be sung about UVs is because society has been manipulated into liking songs of AUVs making them the norm and disliking anything that is not of the norm. Although many people may feel that songs portraying this AUV image onto our growing children should be censored or not produced, it will never happen. The songs are what make money and therefore producers will continue to make them and diminish the concept of unity between a couple.
“Why Britney Spears Matters”
The article Why Britney Spears Matters can be found online at: Why Britney Spears Matters
Why Britney Spears Matters is an article which expresses the concept of how pop singers can influence young girls through their images and lyrics in the media. The author explains that the image in which Britney Spears express through her work is different than the image that the teen group Shirelles expressed in the 1960s. The expression of what a woman should look like, act like, and feel like is contrasted between Britney Spears and the Shirelles in this article based mostly on sexuality. Although songs in the 1960s and those songs sung by Britney today both express sex topics such as love, lust, and womanhood, both of the singers in some way are providing help for emotions and identities of the young girls. The difference is that Britney is portraying a sexy woman as being white, thin, and young while not being very conservative as the Shirelles were. The Shirelles on the other hand used their image to help women answer question about their identity on how to be lady like while not focusing on sexuality.
It was stated by the author that Britney Spears only succeeds in defining the female identity as sexuality instead of the critical components needed on the development of a young girl. By instilling the sexy image of Britney Spears into a young girls mind while she is still developing an identity for herself, will conform another girl into a woman of traditional white image. Later on in life the younger girls may develop low self—esteem and eating disorders from to image being portrayed by Britney Spears because of the yearning to look and feel like the popular singer portrayed as the prototype in society. In conclusion, the author express how Britney is detrimental to the development of a young girl’s identity because the mind is still developing and placing lyrics such as “oops I did it again” into the mind of the youth will subconsciously teach them the wrong identity of a woman.
In relating this article to the unity model of marriage, we can see how the media can affect the unity process of both a husband and a wife. The only values that can arise for attaining an identity from Britney Spears are anti—unity values (AUVs) which are interactions between a couple that are detrimental to the unity process. These AUVs will occur throughout the dominance and equity model because the traditions and cultural norms make them up. At the unity model we will not encounter AUVs because both the wife and the husband are in stride to achieve conjugial love where the focus is on the partner and not the self. According to this article it seems as though most of the AUVs are being taught to the young girls rather than the boys. In the dominance model where the husband has the say in the relationship, I feel that boys will go along with the idea of girls dressing sexy and expect their wife to dress sexy all the time and if they don’t the wives will be punished.
From a wife’s perspective, if she learned her identity through the image of Britney Spears she will express several AUVs such as dressing sexy for other men and not for her husband, promiscuity, flirting with the other gender as retaliation against one’s partner, and girl’s only entertainment. I believe that the AUVs are expressed through Britney’s songs and therefore will prevail on the woman’s part of the relationship. In conclusion, the image of Britney Spears portrays AUVs toward young girls about sexuality. By allowing a young girl to identify herself with an un—conservative idol, will force the coercive tradition of the male dominance into the mind subconsciously. This identity of sexuality will later on hurt a girl when she becomes the wife of a man because of the traditional standards learned form their popular pop singer Britney Spears.
Summing it All Up
In society there are set expectations on how an individual should present themselves to the world. I believe that these expectations are formed through the mass media, especially the pop artists and their songs that they sing. From looking at the two generations I have found that songs have been portraying woman as some sort of object in which they are less important to the world than men. It was shown that woman are only here for making babies, taking care of those babies, and the most shocking expectation of sexual entertainment. Media portrays that women in society must look good by being sexy, skinny, and promiscuous. Now how does this image affect the identity of a growing teenage girl? The media talks about the rise in teenage pregnancies and the age of sexual intercourse is younger every year. Most scientists have studied why this may be possible but the answer is as clear as it gets. The media itself, through the use of AUVs such as having children out of wedlock and promiscuity, are the source for these so called problems in society.
Younger girls are forming an identity that it is okay to have sex at a young age because that is what teen idols are doing now days. Look at Paris Hilton and her sex video. It was sung about in several songs as something exciting, therefore feeding the fire of earlier sex and the possible outcome for teen pregnancies. It is also portrayed that in order to be liked by a boy you must be able to give him sexual pleasures. The idea of a 10 year old girl giving sexual pleasures is disturbing. On the other hand, older woman will now have a harder time with their husbands to follow their motivations and perceptions to conjugial love because of the male rap singers singing about falling in love with a stripper and finding a miss new booty. This is the exploitation of woman and adultery AUVs at hand. While husbands listen to songs that portray these AUVs, wives will now be expected to dance like a stripper for their husband and bring in other partners for enhanced pleasures. Husbands will expect their wives to act promiscuously and if not they will follow the songs advice by having all different girl in different area codes.
In conclusion, if I had the power to change the medias editing rules of screening songs that contain AUVs, then I would but this is not the case. For woman, men, younger girls, and boys the solution to beat the identity portrayal of media is to follow the unity model of marriage. Although there are several television shows that portray UVs, there are minimal songs that contain UVs. When in a relationship, AUVs are harmful to intimacy and UVs enhance intimacy. The expectations brought out through the media are fantasies that should not become reality and eventually should not be in the minds of activities to do with your partner. The idea of making your spouse strip for you is damaging to her mental intimacy and therefore the sexual attention you receive after will not be as great as if you were to just lie down and listen to her thoughts and perceptions. When it comes to teenage girls, they should be taught that singers such as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are considered failures in society and therefore should not look to them as idols.
In the end, the best way to block out the media portrayal of AUVs is to educate everyone in society that the traditional norms of AUVs are out and the UVs taught through the unity model of marriage is in. All genders must realize that their time here on earth is limited and the identity on lives here on earth will carry on to heaven. Therefore live a life full of UVs with your partner and reject AUVs because they are for those who want to live in exile for the rest of their spiritual afterlife.
My Report on the Current Generation
In this section I will be taking a look at two of my fellow classmates report number one and summing up what they chose to do for their repot.
Lida Atkinson
I chose to summarize Lida’s report one because I wanted to see her views on the discourse and behavior of couples. I wanted to see her views because she is a married woman with her own family where as I am a single man to young to start a family. In reading her report I focused on her conclusion portion at the end of each section to see her view points. In section A her assignment was to analyze the movie Prime and compare it to another movie which portrayed a more intimate relationship, which she chose 7th Heaven. In her conclusions of comparing the two movies she feels that the movie Prime confuses children about relationship by accepting the differences among each other, which is an AUV. In Lida’s conclusions of 7th Heaven she states that not so many people consider the love between a couple to be of the love between the couple in the movie. She says that this eternal love is not the traditional marriage and therefore seems lame to most people seeing why people reject the unity model.
In section B she read seven previous students reports from generation 25 on the effects of media portrayals of gender on the younger generations. After summarizing their reports she gave her reactions to their reports. The reaction that caught my eye was her point about the gender portrayal that rap music places on the younger generation. She states that “rap music separates women from humanity by taking away their value and their power. Children that view rap videos and listen to rap music begin to think of women as objects to be used. Boys learn that women are masturbation aids that provoke no more emotion than a blow-up doll. They are readily available and can be thrown away at any time. Girls learn that they are interchangeable to men that their only hope of keeping a man is to be better looking and more willing than other females.” I never saw the idea of using a woman as a masturbation tool such as a blow up doll. This places a whole new meaning on the concept of sex.
In section C Lida’s assignment was to summarize section 17a in our lecture notes about sexy vs. unsey conversations. In her conclusions to this section she explained how she solved her problem of not having that same feeling toward her husband now as she did before. Lida stated that it was their interactions between each other such as having sex even though she was tired and expressed their intimacy for each other. From her experience we can see that the unity model of marriage does work in real world situations. Lastly in Lida’s sections to the future generation and what she learned so far she states that one needs to be organized and follow the directions because they are written very clearly to the students. Lida has learned to accept dualism and the positive bias because this is not what she has known to be the standard of marriage.
Lida Atkinson’s report can be found online at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/atkinson/atkinson-409b-g26-report1.htm
Nicole May
I chose to summarize Nicole’s report because I still wanted to see a woman’s point of view on discourse and behavior in couples, plus she analyzed my favorite movie, the Notebook, in section A. Nicole’s report started off with an introduction of what Psychology 409b was and what the class was studying. In section A before Nicole compared the two movies for conjunctive and disjunctive behaviors, she explained the basic ennead chart. She explained the ennead chart so that the readers could understand which phase of the relationship the couples in the movies are in. In her conclusions of the comparison she feels that both movies can influence society’s minds and thoughts. Nicole concluded that the movie Prime portrays the image of living together, fighting, and accepting differences as to be acceptable. In the movie the Notebook she concludes that when children see a relationship between a couple can move into eternity, this gives them hope that a spiritual relationship can be achieved.
In section B Nicole was to read seven student reports and summarize their ideas on the effects of gender portrayals on the younger generation through the media. In her reactions to the seven reports she believes that parents need to take control of their children before the media does. She feels that it is not all of the media’s fault for portraying fashion statements such as bracelets to identify what sexual relations they have accomplished, but the parents fault for letting them wear it. I agree with Nicole on her statement. Parents should teach their children what is socially accepted and what is the right image that a boy or girl should portray in society. Nicole also feels that media affects her through the songs that she listens to on the radio, which portray woman as not as important as men. She states that she will now be more aware of the songs she listens to.
In section C Nicole describes what it is to be sexy and unsexy in a conversation. In the section below her description she states her relevance of the conversation topic in accordance to her environment. She expressed that she believes that men should be sexy in their conversational style but that was not the case in the beginning of her most recent relationship. Nicole feels that this course has helped her and her boyfriend to identify sexy and unsexy conversational styles in their interactions. Lastly on the sections about what she has learned and advice to future generations, Nicole states that she can now identify how society influences our minds and that this course is beneficial to everyone. Her main advice to all the future generations is to not procrastinate.
Nicole May’s report can be found online at: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/may/may-409b-g26-report1.htm
Advice to Future Generations
The most important advice I have toward the upcoming generations is to never procrastinate. Procrastination will only hurt you in the long run. I advise the students to always keep up with the weekly readings, outline deadlines, and report deadlines. When you do not meet the deadlines, it will cost you points because not meeting the deadline means that the instructor has the opportunity to take penalty points off of your final grade. There is no extra credit in the class so be aware of the deadlines. By not keeping up with the readings all of your outlines, oral reports, and reports will pile up because when the deadline comes for your assignments you will be cramming all of the reading and comprehension into your mind all at once not allowing the information to become clear to you. If you are unable to understand the content of the course, in class discussions is another area in which you will lose points toward your final grade.
In order to allow your self plenty of time to complete all of the readings and written work, plan accordingly. Once the instructions for outlines are posted get to work on them as soon as possible so that when the instructions for the reports are posted you will have ample time to focus your time on them. Reports take up a vast amount of your time in the class so planning on doing the report on the weekend before the deadline will not give you enough time to put excellent though into it. Lastly, if you are not accustomed to the afterlife concept you must be able to allow yourself to get into the mind set of the positive bias which was explained in my introduction. If you are not able to accept the positive bias you will encounter difficulty in comprehending the content of the course. In conclusion, procrastinating will only allow yourself to become a failure so being responsible by using your time wisely id the key to completing this course with a good grade for your transcript.
Links
Class Home Page:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/classhome-g26.htm
My Home Page:
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/rafael/rafael-home.htm