PSY 409b: The Unity Model of Marriage; January 22, 2007

Positive Bias in Marriage

By Brian Rafael

 

Instructions for this activity are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/g26-oral1.htm

 

James, Leon. (2007). Lecture Notes on the Unity Model of Marriage. Introduction. Online at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/409b-g26-lecture-notes.htm

 

I.                   Introduction

a.       The focus of this seminar will be on identifying the differences in the mental structure of husbands and wives so that we may gain a rational understanding of how the two manage to actually form a pair, unit, or whole.

                                                              i.      In order to attain a pair or whole, both men and women must have reciprocal mental traits which hill allow them to conjoin mentally, therefore reaching mental intimacy.

                                                            ii.      Mental intimacy = “soul mates” or “conjoint self” based on the unity model

b.      Part of this course will give you skills to recognize which stages a person or couple may be in, pertaining to the unity model of marriage. 

                                                              i.      The overall model will focus on the idea that a man and a woman can form a special and unique relationship in which they can become unified through three levels of the “Threefold self”

II.                The threefold self—three stages (levels)

a.       Sensorimotor self contains the sensory and motor behavior

                                                              i.      The sensorimotor consociation involves what the couple does together externally and socially

b.      Cognitive self contains the thinking operations

                                                              i.      Cognitive affiliation involves how each member of the relationship thinks and to what degree do they agree in definitions and beliefs

c.       Affective self contains the feeling states

                                                              i.      Affective conjunction involves what feelings are felt for each other and whether each partner is striving for the same goal

                                                            ii.      When a man and a woman are conjoined at all three levels or stages, they become soul mates functioning with a conjoint self.

III.             The unity Model of Marriage—three phases

a.       The male dominance model is described as society giving men privileges over women in many ways

                                                              i.      Most men are raised in this particular way

                                                            ii.      Example: men interrupt women or ignore them

b.      The equity phase of marriage begins when many men are forced to admit to themselves that their wives deserves an equal right of respect and therefore can not continue to dominate of their wife

c.       The unity phase is when the men become aware of making themselves conjoin with their spouse and become heavenly because the women are more delicate and heavenly beings than men

IV.             The Swedenborg Reports by Emanuel Swedenborg

a.       Swedenborg was able to present proof that there was actually an afterlife in the spiritual world of heaven and hell

                                                              i.      In order to understand Emanuel Swedenborg you must have a positive bias in science; examine it before you reject it or anything is possible. The negative bias of reject it before you examine it is a major barrier for researchers to investigate the mental intimacy that is real

                                                            ii.      Swedenborg’s writings and first theistic scientist

1.      Within Swedenborg’s writings he explained how at the age of 57, God came to him as a Divined Human Being and told him that he would be the one to consciously live in both the natural and spiritual world at the same time. He was chosen by God to take this challenge so that he can explore and report his consciousness in the spiritual world and explain that there is a life after death. Therefore he became the first theistic scientist and coming up with the concept of dualism.

2.      In a second writing he described his interaction with people in the spiritual world by observations and empirical data collected by him.

a.       In this particular writing he states that individuals in the natural world are unable to see other individual in the spiritual world and those in the spiritual world were unable to see others in the natural world.

b.      Swedenborg identified two types of marriage

                                                              i.      “Natural marriage” described by conjugal love and “Spiritual marriage” described as conjugial love

1.      Natural marriage = “Till death do us part”

2.      Spiritual Marriage = “Till endless eternity”

a.       Natural marriages are for legal, social, psychological purposes and are not sufficient for achieving endless growth together

b.      A natural marriage becomes a spiritual marriage when a couple’s idea of their bond changes from “till death do us part” into “Till endless eternity”

V.                Conclusion

a.       My own reaction to the unity model of marriage is that in order to understand the model, one must understand the writings of Swendenborg who made it possible, through his writings, for the unity model of marriage to emerge. Therefore in order to accept the understanding of the model, one must think mentally in a positive bias way, allowing one to understand that there is an afterlife of spiritual world and that religion has nothing to do with accepting this concept.

 

Related Links:

 

The Complexity of Time

            Published on the World Wide Web in 2004, Steve Edwards defined for us the several types of time. I found this article relevant to my outline because in Edwards’ writings he describes that there are various times, which all were created by God. The time that relates toward my outline is subjunctive time which cannot be measured with a stop watch and is a sense of our consciousness. Subjunctive time relates to eternity which I also described in the outline above. Reading further into Edwards’ writings you can find times described by the Bible and other sources, which several relate to subjunctive time in their own particular way.

Web Address: http://www.ldolphin.org/time.html

 

Wikipedia: Emanuel Swedenborg

            Since I spoke a vast amount about Emanuel Swedenborg throughout my outline, I decided that an autobiography of Swedenborg is relevant in my related links. Wikipedia describes a little more in detail the works that were attributed to him and also a time line on how Swedenborg came to the conclusions as he did in his writings. Also you will find links to some of his books, mostly his book of Heaven and Hell which has caused a huge controversy over the years.

Web Address: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emanuel_Swedenborg

 

Preparing for Real Marriage

            Stephen R. Simons posted a web site that is dedicated to the works of Emanuel Swedenborg. I believe that the writings of Swedenborg are a little difficult to understand and read because they were written in the 18th century. Simons reiterates Swedenborg’s writings in simpler forms to understand, but at the same time quoting from Swedenborg’s work. Simons also places his own sense of mind in the site. This particular link relates mostly to marriage in the spiritual world which relates to my oultline.

Web Address: Preparing for real marriage - Introduction

 

My Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leon/409bs2007/rafael/rafael-home.htm

 

Class Home Page: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy26/classhome-g26.htm