Ishikawa-report6
The Unity Model of Marriage
Psychology 409b / Spring 2008 / Generation 27
Dr.Leon James, Instructor, University of
Hawaii
Ling to class homepage: http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy27/classhome-g27.htm
Sumiyo Ishikawa
Sumiyo Ishikawa / Chloe Yogi
/ Angela
Washington
Conjugial Love For
The Unity Marriage - Happy Married Couples -
Section
1. Lecture content
11. The
spiritual dimension to the unity model
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy27/409b-g27-lecture-notes.htm#spiritual
- The negative bias –
Materialism and non-theistic psychology. Physical world.
The negative bias
only exists physical body in the natural world of time so marriage has to be
part of the physical world.
Thoughts and
feelings are not real but subjective phenomena. They emerge from the electro-chemical
activity of the physical brain.
- The positive bias –
Dualism and theistic psychology. Mental & physical world.
The
positive bias exists spiritual body in the mental world of eternity and
physical body in the natural world of time. The mental anatomy is mental life
and true life. Marriage has to be part of the mental and physical world.
Thoughts and
feelings are real objective phenomena, they are not material (physical anatomy,
but subjective phenomena (mental anatomy).
If we simply reduce the
negative bias, it does not have anything. If we consider the positive bias, it
has something. We must consider positive bias to make conjugial love in the
spiritual dimension of the unity model.
19-2.
Spiritual marriage (or Eternal marriage) Anatomical conjunction of mental organ
of husband and wife
http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy27/409b-g27-lecture-notes.htm#EXERCISE_19.2
According to Dr. James, we
take on the positive bias why we consider the unity model and we are going to
respect because we believe that the positive bias is possible and Swedenborg
reports it could be true.
Swedenborg described that
this life of immortality continues mental organ in the spiritual body because
he consciously became in the spiritual mind when he was 57 years old.
Swedenborg observed that
resuscitation process occurred after people died and physical body completely
did not connect without function within 30 hours in the experimental empirical
report. After resuscitation from death, we are consciously in our spiritual
mind and unconsciously in our natural mind. We continue life of immortality in
eternity through spiritual mind.
The unity model of marriage
based on the SwendenborgÕs book Conjugial love (1763).
CL 321. (4) People who before
had lived with their partners in a state of truly conjugial love [= unity
model] do not marry again, except for reasons dissociated from conjugial
love.
If we have a spiritual
marriage, we are in conjugial love, we have a unity marriage, and we have a
conjoint self. When one of the partners passes on, we do not die and physical
body is dissociated from spiritual body. At the death, there is togetherness between
spiritual body which is mental world eternity.
Why do couples who lose a
spouse not want to remarry? People who had lived with their partners in a state
of truly conjugial love [=unity model] do not wish to marry again, after
partner dies.
Because they have been united
in respect to their souls [=affective conjunction] and in respect to their
minds [=cognitive conjunction] and this unions, being a spiritual one
[spiritual marriage], is an actual coupling [=anatomical conjunction] of soul
and mind of the other, which dissolved [=spiritual or eternal].
Male and female have
reciprocal arrangement of their mental organs. Soul is affective conjunction
and mind is cognitive conjunction. There are 2 stages of conjunction; natural
marriage is called an external conjunction and spiritual marriage is called an
internal conjunction. Women are made of feminine intelligence [=cognitive
organ] on the inside and feminine love [=affective organ] on the outside. Men
are made of masculine intelligence [=cognitive organ] on the outside and
masculine love on the inside [=affective organ] on the inside.
-Natural marriages are
involved in the male dominance model and in the equality mode.
1. Woman and wife conjoins herself to husband. Husband
does not do anything. How does she conjoin herself to husband ? She loves
[=affective conjunction] his idea [=cognitive conjunction]. She loves his idea,
conjoins herself to him, and becomes together with him.
-Spiritual marriages are
involved in the unity model.
2. He has to conjoin himself to her. How can we do
that ? We can do the only way
of
conjunction. We can only conjoin affective organ with cognitive organ.
Conjunction is 2 bodies joint together physically by anatomical conjunction.
Sensorimotor association
physically gets together a man and woman. Sensorimotor conjunction close to
physically but it cannot give conjunction all the united physical. Sensorimotor
association can give relative position each other. Sensorimotor cannot conjoin
but affective and cognitive can conjoin.
Where is this conjunction
coming from? SwendenborgÕs report
explained we become conscious mental world in eternity at the resuscitation. We
are able to see spiritual sun. Spiritual sun has spiritual heat and light.
Affective organ receives spiritual heat and cognitive organ receives spiritual
light. Good substance has spiritual heat and enters the skin. Good enters
affective organ. Truth substance has spiritual light enters the eyes. Truth
enters cognitive organ.
Physical body has matter and
energy. Spiritual body has good and truth. Good and truth are called divined
marriage. Also they are called celestial or heavenly marriage. Love is
affective and idea is cognitive. Affective and cognitive want to marry each
other, make conjoint self, they are called anatomical conjunction or mental
conjunction.
The unity model based on
conjugial love, we know why conjugial love is possible ?
Conjoint self is possible
because two individual reunite them into the divined marriage which is
irresistible force to make one.
True love is irresistible
conjunction to unite them and to make one into creation. We must conjoin
affective and cognitive organ in the spiritual dimension to the unity model.
Irresistible conjunction: 1.
WomenÕs heart and menÕs mind – Male dominance and equity model. There is
no conjunction. 2. MenÕs heart with womenÕs mind – The unity model.
Women have to do all work and
women constantly move, motivate, pull, and push to conjoin. She has no choice.
Women have cognitive organ on the inside and affective on the outside by
spiritual heat and light and come into the spiritual body.
Personal comment
From the lecture, I learned
that there is a different style of mental anatomy between men and women; men
have cognitive organ on the outside and affective organ on the inside, women
have cognitive organ on the inside and affective organ on the outside to be
able to conjoin mental intimacy. Although it takes time to conjoin cognitive
and affective organ each other, we should create the unity with partner in the
marriage relationship. I believe that we can ultimately achieve our goal to
share, to understand, to interact each other in the unity marriage. In the near
future, I would like to create the conjugial love with partner to be able to
achieve affective and cognitive intimacy in the marriage relationship.
Section
2. Team presentation on readings
By
Chloe
Yogi
Lecture
notes N11
Link to 11.
The Spiritual Dimension of the Unity Model by Dr. Leon James
The
team began their presentation with lecture 11, The Spiritual Dimension to
the Unity Model. They began discussing SweedenborgÕs
findings when he had his many interviews with ÒcelestialÓ couples in the spirit
world that have been there for thousands of years. He reports that they have conjugial unity in heaven and that
the marital happiness and joy is constantly increasing. It is quite interesting to know that
couples in the afterlife love each other way more than they do in the natural
world. In the natural world, there
are so many divorces and bitter marriages. ItÕs nice to know that there are couples who make things
work and love each other so much.
They then went on
about SweedenborgÕs visits to the mental heavens and hells of the human
mind. There is an individual
mental reality and a communal heaven or hell group of the mind. Also, the mental world and the physical
world are two different things. A human is simultaneously born in the mental
and physical (natural) world at the same time. Our sensations, thoughts, and feelings are not physical
things, therefore they donÕt exist in the physical body. Those things exist in the spiritual
body that is already in the afterlife.
Therefore, weÕre immortal.
They group thought that this concept was interesting because if we are
immortal, why is it so sad when people die?
The team then
discussed that if someone does not go on into the spiritual world without a
soulmate, they have a chance to find one in the afterlife. They are conjoined with the spiritual
love they have for each other.
This is a definition of an angel.
Sweedenborg interviewed many angel couples and he said when they spoke
it was like they were speaking in unity, they appeared as one angel, they were
always together, and they have their own private mental zone.
Spiritual Soul on the Internet
Dr. James discusses
in his lecture notes that there are websites and virtual communities where one
can exist until eternity. Websites
like Myspace, Facebook, or Youtube.
People can post a persona of themselves and even when the person dies,
the webpage will still be there and the person can still be present, but not in
the natural world. Only the spirit world.
Internet can be a place to put up memorabilia for one that has passed.
Heaven and Hell
The team then
discussed that if we donÕt let go of our hellish traits, we donÕt have the
ticket to get into heaven. Also,
if you are not totally satisfied with the heavenly traits, you donÕt go to
heaven either. The team did not
entirely agree to the harshness of
Òif you donÕt like this, then you wonÕt go to heavenÓ rule. Dr. James then explained that if there
is negative feelings towards your partner on the way to heaven, then the place
you are going to would not be called ÒheavenÓ. Heaven is a place of good, relaxation, and positive vibes. It does not need room for
hostility. I agree with Dr. James
in that sense. Heaven is called
heaven for a reason. Hell is
called hell for a reason.
Field Observations
The team spoke of
the roles of men and women.
According to the lecture notes, they stated that: (1) the manÕs role is
not to weaken the womanÕs self confidence and the womanÕs role is central and
needs to be understood by the man to be able to cooperate with her; and (2) the
man needs to soften up to the woman and have no resistance to what she
wants. The man at the cognitive
level needs to pay attention to her affective interventions.
The team mentioned
that sometimes the woman may look angry, but she is not angry. She is zealous. When a woman is zealous, she is trying
to help the man be a better partner and move him closer to the unity
level. Anger is from hell and zeal
is from heaven. Despite her
showing her zeal to a man, the man must keep is composure and be considerate of
her feelings and obey. That would
make him a true man. I feel this
is a good technique because the woman will only get worse if he yells back at
her. She is already full of zeal
and she will be overloaded with zeal that probably the man will not like.
Sexless Marriage is the Best Marriage
ÒSpiritual marriage comes from the idea of Ôlove
without sexÕÓ.
So would it defeat
the purpose of the unity level if spiritual marriage has no sex? Is it the opposite of unity? This is where the two minds come into
play. Sex is an act in the
physical mind, so once a couple goes on into the spiritual world, sex is
obsolete and there are things comparable to sex, but is not sex. The team thought this was very
interesting because they (as well as I) never thought about sex in that
way. Yes, sex is something that
feels good, but you donÕt necessarily have to love someone to have sex with
him/her. Same thing goes with
marriage. You donÕt have to love
someone to marry them. Marriage
and sex are just actions of probable or potential love. Not necessarily ACTUAL love.
Lecture
notes N19
Link to Lecture
19 Examples of Anti-Unity Values (AUVÕs) by Dr. Leon James
The
team gave some examples of Anti-Unity Values couples sometimes face, which
holds them back from reaching the unity level. Here were a few brought up by the team:
1.
Living together
unmarried.
2.
Having children together
without getting married.
3.
Making each other
jealous on purpose.
4.
Accepting the idea that
itÕs OK to Òagree to disagreeÓ about some things.
5.
Dressing up sexy to be
noticed by men other than oneÕs partner (ÒsluttyÓ).
The group didnÕt agree with
the fact that a relationship would not be able to reach the unity level because
an unmarried couple is living together or that it wonÕt be ok to Òagree to
disagreeÓ. I personally feel that
there will be disagreements in all relationships, but it is usually minor ones. Ones that can be looked over and not
thought about again. But some
decisions for parents to work out for their kids may be a big decision and as a
couple, they should know how to work it out rationally. Disagreements donÕt necessarily make
the relationship bad. Sometimes I
think it makes it stronger. Dr.
James made a good point though saying that disagreements are hellish and should
be avoided.
Generation
curriculum C23
Link
to C23: My Understanding of the Unity Model of Marriage by Susan Ventrucci
The
team then moved onto the Generational Curriculum C23 on a report by Susan
Ventrucci. There is a comparing
and contrasting to three books: Gender Issues by Deborah Tannen, The Proper Care and Feeding of
Husbands by Laura Schlessinger, and The
Lazy Husband by Joshua Coleman. It begins by discussing which gender is
more dominant. Tannen felt that
women were more agreeable and submissive to things – male dominance. Schlessinger felt the same way, but is
more on a male dominance level as we all know. She feels the men should conquer, while women nurture. Coleman felt that the sexes are equal
and should be equal. The team felt
it was ironic how the only man out of these three authors, brought up the point
that the sexes should be equal.
The
team mentioned that when a man is not devoted to the unity model of marriage he
is most likely going to revert back to the male dominance phase by yelling and
screaming at the woman (verbal abuse).
This is a bad move on his part bringing in hostility. A member from the team compared her
marriage to this and she said that occasionally her husband does argue with her
and he still believes in the equity phase. I also feel the equity phase would be enough for me. The unity phase may seem a little too
much for me and I might get irritable if he complies too much.
Susan
brought up sexual blackmail and that it can damage a relationship. The man demands sex and the woman does
not want to have sex. The man will
make the woman feel guilty by saying things like Òif you love me, you will
sleep with meÓ. She mentions that
some women are not entirely affected by it, but some are. The team felt that sexual blackmail is
wrong. No means no. Leave it as that.
There
were dialogues Susan created to express the 3 models of marriage. Here are excerpts from the dialogues:
Husband: Hi. Where are you?
Wife: Oh, IÕm out at the store. My friend told me about this great dessert and I wanted to
pick up the ingredients to make it for dinner tonight. Then I thought we could-
Husband: (interrupting) So you made dinner for
tonight? What are we having?
Wife: Pork chops.
Husband: Again? Why donÕt you ever make anything I
like?
Wife: The kids asked for them. They love pork chops.
Husband: Okay fine. Maybe you can actually make something I
like tomorrow.
Wife: IÕll see what I can do.
Husband: You know, JimÕs wife makes whatever he asks for every night
for dinner.
Wife: (sarcastically) How fortunate for Jim.
Husband: (also sarcastic) Yeah, that sure must be
nice.
Wife: So what I was trying to
tell you earlier, I was thinking that tonight maybe we could go catch a movie
after dinner. The kids donÕt have
much homework, they could go to my sisterÕs house for a few hours.
Husband:
Yeah,
sure. ThereÕs a new action movie
coming out that I want to see.
LetÕs go to that one.
Wife: Okay, I guess.
Husband: Listen, can you please
hurry up and get home. The kids
are going to be home from soccer soon and I donÕt want to have to take care of
them. I had a long day at work. Besides, IÕm starving. I want some dinner.
Wife: ThereÕs this new Japanese
restaurant I want to try.
Husband:
Well,
actually, I was hoping we could eat in.
We both agreed that we need to watch our spending this month. I donÕt think eating out all the time
is necessary.
Wife: YouÕre right.
We do need to watch our spending.
But we donÕt eat out every night.
You know that. What were
you expecting, that I would come home after a horrible day at work and make a
gourmet meal?
Husband: DonÕt be so defensive. You know thatÕs not what I meant. All IÕm saying is that I do a lot of the cooking, maybe
tonight it should be your turn.
Besides, my work is just as hard as yours is, that should not have
anything to do with it.
Wife:
Okay,
fine. I will make dinner. Just donÕt complain about what I make.
Husband:
Thank
you.
Husband:
I can wash
those up if you need time to go get ready.
Wife:
Thanks for
offering, but I think I will just do it real quick.
Husband:
Why donÕt
you let me do it?
Wife:
Well,
sometimes you donÕt get all of the food specks off of the plates and you leave
water spots on the glasses.
Husband:
(takes
the dishes from the wife) I will be very careful not to do that anymore. Go ahead and get ready. DonÕt worry about the dishes.
Wife:
(Looks
at husband with loving and appreciative eyes) Thank you, honey. I love you. I will be ready in twenty minutes.
Husband:
I love you
too. I will be ready to go when
you are.
Wife: Well, I finally called my sister this morning and gave
her an answer about that loan she had been asking for. I told her I didnÕt think it was a good
idea for us to loan her money. I
told her all the reasons why just like you and I had discussed.
Husband: Good for you Honey. I know that was hard for you, but I really feel like you did
the right thing.
Wife: I think so too.
I knew all along it was never a good idea to loan her money, I just felt
badly saying no.
Husband: I know it is hard to say no, but I really felt the
same way about the situation. You
definitely did the right thing.
These
excerpts are good examples of the different phases in marriage. As you can see,
the unity dialogue is so nice and perfect. The team felt it was too good to be true, but it is possible. If only I could find me a man like
that!
Section
3. Team exercise on readings
(a)
Summarize the main ideas presented by the team.
The
main points consisted of The first
rule of conjugial conversation he can follow is to be reactive and friendly
whenever his wife is talking to him. The second rule of conjugial
conversation he can follow is to deny himself the right to express
disagreement with her.
The
third rule of conjugial conversation he can follow is create a
conversational atmosphere in which his wife feels unoppressed, free, and safe
because he shows that he cherishes everything about her. The fourth rule of
conjugial conversation he can follow is to use the conversation as a method
of enhancing her mood, of making her feel young in heart and stimulated in
mind. The team for exercises consisted of: Brandon Nacapoy and Xuying Zhang.
One group member was not available for the presentation.They explained the four
rules of conjujial conversation, with specific focus on the wants of women and
the strategy that men have to take to achieve and meet the needs of women. Each
member discussed the topic with their friends, and decided if what thier
friends thought, coincided with this perspective of conjujial conversation.
Since the video was unavailabe to view at that time, the group opted to answer
the questions only. For your reference however, I have provided the link to the
video on you tube, http://www.youtube.com/v/0aghvnK5Mgk&rel=1
(b)
Describe what they did and how they interpreted it.
Well,
the group members both consulted with their significant others, to get there
opinion about the topic of conjujial conversation. Brandon, focused his
discussion on the way he disagrees with his girlfriend at times, and instead of
confronting her, he is realizing how to "hold back" and "suck it
up" so that he spare his girlfriends feelings, which will inturn make him
feel good that he did it. Dr James interjected a few times to ask Brandon why he
felt tat he should "suck it up"? At first, Brandon said that he used
to feel that he had to get his point across regardless, but he has bee growing
and trying to achieve the unity phase. Brandins solution was to actually allow
himself to lose that feeling of anger and torment every time he had to
"suck it up" and by doing so, he has now realized that he feels
better knowing that he is pleasing his girlfriend by not disagreeing with her.
Xiang, discussed the questions with her close friends, both make and female.
She described her girlfriends wished that they could have conjujial access with
their mates and that the material she presented to them in 16c.1, really hit
close to home. She mentioned that one of her girlfriends really wanted to
conjoin with her mate, but he was very reluctant to keep his independence.
(c)
Describe some of the ideas that needed a better justification or greater
amplification.
Even with just two group
members, they managed to cover all bases of the concepts in 16c.1. Each rule was
interpreted and followed up with an example from their friends and mates. We
can always use more comparisons to the Unity Model of Marriage and the attempts
that each group member has progressed to, this far in the semester.
(d)
What was the success of the approach they used?
I really enjoyed the way they
connected their personal stories with the material. That enabled the audience
to picture the experience that they were having has they explained the ideas to
their boyfriend/girlfriends. This approach always allows the audience to grasps
the concept and also relate to what they have experienced while doing the
exercise themselves.
(e)
What improvements are needed in the procedures or in the instructions?
The
instructions were quite clear and no room was left for error. The only problem
was that the web link provided, was not working or had been deleted prior to
the team doing the exercise. Other than that minor issue, I cannot se any flaws
or discrepancy in the instructions.
(f)
What are the limitations of these types of exercises?
The only limitation that I
can think of is the fact that we are running out of people to discus or
exercise topics with. Most of us have exhausted our family and friends, not
including or significant other, with these exercises. True enough, they are
interesting topics that we are sharing with them, however, they are constantly
ready fro battle every week, when we try to explain to them the ideas being
presented.
(g)
Describe what happened when you did some of the steps of the exercises.
Well,
as I mentioned above, when I presented my boyfriend with this information, he
immediately said "what now Angela?" Hearing that straight off of the
bat is somewhat disheartening and not to mention disjunctive. So it is safe to
say that we have been in multiple phases in our relationship throughout this
semester. One moment my boyfriend is being to total package and potential
candidate for the unity phase. Then the next minute, he reverts back to his old
ways. This applies significantly to this week exercises in 16c.1. His language
and attitude towards me this week, showed signs of male dominance. In doing so,
he is exercising his independence and doing things "as usual" or the
way that he wants to do things. He clearly does not deny himself the right to
express disagreement with me non whatsoever. He was being totally unsexy this
weak!!! One discussion that we had this week, turned into an argument. His
disjunctive behavior created a public scene and caused me to feel guilty and sad
the rest of the night. I can truly say that he made it quite hard for me to
conjoin myself to his wisdom and rationality and intelligence, when he handled
the situation as he did, with anger and clear male dominance phase behavior.
Section
4. Annotated web link
1.
Mental challenge -ÔWhat Shamu Taught Me About
Life, Love and marriageÕ
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/23127265#%2323127265
This web site presented that author Amy Suthreland who
is an animal trainer and she uses the same training technique for her husband
how animal studying works for human being. She emphasized what behavior did I
like and encourage from her husband.
She also focuses that human behavior progressive so we do not need to
expect completely big change but we should pick up one thing to change
behavior. She finally stressed that everybody try to change our behavior and
she really wants to keep animal training to be more productive and effective
ways. I think that womenÕs intelligence of cognitive organ on the inside
conjoins to menÕs love of affective organ on the outside from her husband
training. I believe that we can achieve the mental conjunction of affective and
cognitive organ what she / he is thinking and feeling at every interaction to
improve the unity model of marriage relationship.
2.
Conjugial love –
Romance in marriage
http://www.videojug.com/interview/romance-in-marriage-2
This web site
represented that romance is how partners maintain love in their marriage
relationship. I think that romance is a helpful way to communicate and to
understand affective conjunction what she / he is feeling and cognitive organ
what she / he is thinking each other. I agree that we should show attention,
appreciation, and acknowledgement to make conjugial love each other.
Especially, we would like to express appreciation for partner in order to
achieve mental intimacy in the unity model. I believe that romance is an
important way to improve sensorimotor, affective, and cognitive conjunction
each other in the marriage relationship.
3.
Marriage: The spiritual
dimension
http://www.seedsofunfolding.org/issues/xv/features_3_2.htm
This web site talked about the spiritual dimension of
marriage. We studied when we are born we have physical and spiritual world. We
also studied that we lose physical body when we die and spiritual body continue
through the spiritual world of the afterlife. We unconsciously lose our
physical body and consciously exist our spiritual body in the after life of the
eternity by Swendenborg. Before I studied the marriage behavior this class, I
did not know that we become conscious in our spiritual mind. I believe that
spiritual marriage continues in the unity model and our affective and cognitive
organ interact with partner in the afterlife.
4. How to Have a Perfect Marriage
http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Perfect-Marriage
This is a good ÒHow
toÓ guide for a ÒperfectÓ marriage.
There are cute guidelines like needing to kiss your spouse every 5
seconds, complimenting each other for everything, constant touching like
holding hands, do a lot of things together, respect each other, and try your
hardest not to argue. These are
things that all couples should look at.
Not all marriages can be perfect, but you can have one pretty close to
it!
5. Obstacles to a Perfect Marriage
http://life.familyeducation.com/marriage/relationships/45576.html
Sometimes when
stress takes it toll on you, there is a chance that one can blame their
problems on their marriage, even when marriage has nothing to do with it. This could be what psychologists call
ÒtransferenceÓ, where they take their problems out on something that has
nothing to do with the problem. I
think it could be that, since the marriage is fine, they feel pessimistic and,
in the heat of the negativity, they want to ruin something else in their
lives. Couples can work through
problems like this. It will just
take time.
6. For The Perfect Marriage
http://youtube.com/watch?v=frNfM1rSVmI
This is a Budlight
commercial about a bride asking her mother how her marriage worked with her
father. The mother tells her
Òcommunication, understanding, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, change the oil,
etc.Ó. This is a humorous way to
show what guys may want in a relationship – to do nothing and make the
woman do everything. It may be
touching for some men, but degrading to women.
7. The Perfect
ÒAlmostÓ Marriage
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FSWymTKAse8
This seems to be the most agreeable and perfect husband any woman could dream
of. HeÕll let her buy a $1,000 coat, a new Mercedes, and a $1.5 million
house! He is so subtle and so compliant with her, practically telling her
to get everything she wants. But this one has a surprise ending.
There are some guys out there I know that would do that for a woman. My
aunty is actually like this. She spends all her husbandÕs money and does
not work. She does not even clean the house and cook. What a life!
8.
Red
SkeltonÕs Recipe for the Perfect Marriage
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2629064/Red-Skeltons-Recipe-for-the-Perfect-Marriage
This is a humorous list of how to have a perfect marriage by comedian, Red Skelton.
He starts off by saying that he takes his wife everywhere, but she keeps
finding her way back; he hasnÕt spoken to his wife in 18 months because he
doesnÕt like to interrupt her; and he blames the last fight on him. She
asked him what was on TV and he said ÒDust!Ó This is a humorous and definitely not a recipe for a perfect
marriage! I enjoy these funny things that make fun of perfect marriages
because not much people can maintain such a good marriage
today.
9. Marriage
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/642949
The website leads to this blog question:
ÒIn the perfect marriage ladies, what would you want your man to consistently
do to make your life with him special and a lot easier?Ó Some answers
were Òbuy my tampons when needed, compliment me everyday, donÕt throw socks on
the floor, tell me goodnight every night, be yourself, saying ÔI love youÕ,
comfort me when I pout, pay my bills and gas, make me feel like a queen,
etc.Ó These are all really good answers. Pay for my bills is the
best one! I need to find me one that would do that for me. But most
definitely, treating me good and making me feel like a queen are good too.
10. Romantic
Marriage Story
http://www.romancebetweenthelines.com/site/476224/page/243874
This story is about a couple in the heat of the moment. They have been
married for a years and the husband said that their sex life has been slowly
deteriorating. He then saw an article on how to say no in a sexy
way. She did this withholding of sex to keep her husband wanting more and
waiting to get what he wants. She was making it exciting for him.
This is a good strategy because guys like to be enticed and then given the
treat later. All that build up is mysterious for the man and men like
mystery sometimes. Maybe withholding sex is not so bad after
all.