Psychology 459  April 20, 2006

Women Crave Mental Intimacy!!

By Tawny Antonio


Textbook of Theistic Psychology ( – By Leon James (2006). Available at:


Instructions for this activity are found at:


Instructor: Dr. Leon James


I.                    Mental Intimacy

A.     This is what women are striving to achieve with men

1.      There is an urge within women that is biological and spiritual

2.      However, this is what men hate and try to avoid

B.     This is achieved when partners allow themselves to be changed to fit together better

C.     It is cognitive intimacy that women are ultimately craving for

1.      Cognitive intimacy occurs when partners share their ideas, thoughts, secrets, etc.

2.      It also occurs when partners allow each other to roam around in the other’s mind

D.     Men can achieve mental intimacy by paying attention to women’s emotional needs and by easing women’s mental distress

E.      God wired in this longing for conjugial love in women

1.      Swedenborg observed women in the celestial marriage and saw how beautiful they looked and how fulfilled they were

F.      Mental intimacy is mental unity and mental conjunction


II.                 Femininity

A.     The femininity in every women is what causes them to crave for mental intimacy with men

B.     However, men are always trying to destroy women’s femininity

C.     Men can begin to discover that they love women’s femininity through women’s love and caring efforts

1.      Men discover that femininity is beautiful and sexy

2.      As men discover this, they are becoming enlightened


III.               Nagging

A.     Men often refer to women as ‘nags’, when in actuality, women are just craving for mental intimacy

B.     When men call women ‘nags’ or some other degrading name, they are attacking her femininity

C.     This derogatory term is always implied towards women because women has been given the management role in the household by society

1.      Men, on the other hand, have been given the role of the “volunteer” or “helper” around the house

a.       In actuality, men are not easing the burden of responsibility on women by just ‘helping’

b.      Men should view his domestic tasks as easing women’s minds and becoming more involved in the partnership, instead of viewing himself as a “helper”, and thus an outsider

D.     Such name calling creates a mental distance between the man and the woman

1.      This suppresses mental intimacy

2.      Such mental separation forces women to reject men’s sexual advances

a.       Women do crave sexual intimacy, but want and need mental intimacy first

b.      When men attempt to achieve and maintain mental intimacy, women will seek out sexual intimacy


Related Websites:

I chose this website because it discusses Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s views on men and women.  Dr. Schlessinger takes the male dominance model on relationships.  The site also discusses her book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, which places most of the responsibility of maintaining relationships on women.

This is another website about Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  I chose this website because she is being asked some questions, so we can get a better grasp of the perspective she takes on relationships.  I think that her ideas are very interesting, though not at all valid.

This is actually an outline that I completed while in Professor James’ Unity Model of Marriage course.  This course focused on the relationships between men and women and the different perspectives and models on relationships.  This outline focuses specifically on mental intimacy, so I thought that it was a perfect site.


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