Situation chosen: when I am home

Motivation: Do not let small and unimportant events ruin my life and my marriage.

Feelings & Emotions	I am raging, I feel upset. I wanted to cry, to run away from him. I felt alone
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	I thought: "How could he say such a thing? Why doesn't he understand my point? Why he is so egoist? I went to my desk and didn't talk to him
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	"Do not let small and unimportant events destroy your marriage". Bridge: Determination-red, I tried to analyze the situation. Why did I get so angry? I tried to understand his point.
Modified Thinking	Actually I was being difficult in our conversation. I didn't let him explain his point. I attacked him as soon as I heard what I didn't like.
New Feelings	I was still angry and too proud to say sorry but I felt guilty for being so selfish. It took a while before I went talk to him.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I went talk to him. I apologized for my immature response. He finished his point and I understood better the situation. I felt wonderful after I did it.
Global Rating	Stress = 6 Coping Successfully = 9 Satisfaction with myself = 8 Level of hope = 9 Effectiveness or productivity = 8 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people =3

Feelings & Emotions	I got extremely upset when I got home dead tired and saw that mess. I was raging.
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	"Why do I need to clean this all the time? He must help me too! I'm so tired! Let him clean when he gets home. I can't stand it!"
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	"Do not let small, unimportant..." Bridge: Determination-red, I imagined him getting home tired and me yelling at him, then a fight, then negativism, NO! Just because of this mess?I can take care of it in 20 minutes?
Modified Thinking	What is more important to me: My husband or this mess? He will be glad to get home and see everything organized. If he could get home earlier, he probably would clean the house.
New Feelings	I understood that I was ignoring his side, his lack of time too. I felt relaxed.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I calmed down and decided to clean the house. It didn't take long, and I felt better to be in an organized place. He got home pretty late and thanked me for cleaning his mess. Good that I didn't do what I planned at the beginning.
Global Rating	Stress = 5 Coping Successfully = 9 Satisfaction with myself = 9 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 9 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 5

Feelings & Emotions	I was raging, I felt frustrated, unable to understand the task and running out of time.
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	I'm going to fail on this class. I don't know anything! I'm so stupid! I always take forever to understand things.
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	"Don't let small..." Bridge: Resistance-blue, I must stop thinking so negatively. It is not the end of the world!
Modified Thinking	O.K., I'll make a list of the things I don't understand and spend more time on them. If by the end of the day I don't get it, I'll ask the professor next time.
New Feelings	I knew deep inside me I was still very frustrated but I tried to feel relaxed and it helped me.
Resulting, Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I started to work and forgot a little bit about my pessimistic thoughts.
Global Rating	Stress = 8 Coping Successfully = 8 Satisfaction with myself = 7 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 8 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 5

Feelings & Emotions	I felt rage, anxious, nervous, upset that my husband was watching TV while I needed to study (we live in a studio)
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	I'll never get my reading done with this TV on. How many times I need to tell him that I can't study with it on!
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	" Do not let small and unimportant ..." Bridge: Determination-red - What about him? I need to understand his situation.
Modified Thinking	He doesn't have time to watch TV all the time, and he really enjoys this program. I would probably get upset if he didn't let me watch what I like. Maybe I should do something else until this program ends.
New Feelings	I wanted to be egoist at that time and just turn the TV off, but I made an effort to change it. I decided to be rather respectful than egoist. I felt better about my self.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I decided to go to a bike ride and breath some fresh air, relax and not be upset.
Global Rating	Stress = 5 Coping Successfully = 9 Satisfaction with myself = 8 Level of hope = 9 Effectiveness or productivity = 7 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 8

Feelings & Emotions	I was expecting to wear one specific shirt to go out and unfortunately I found it in the dirty laundry. I started to rage, I felt very upset!
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	"I told my husband to do laundry 2 days ago! He just doesn't listen to me! I don't have another shirt that matches with this skirt!"
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	"Do not let small and unimportant..." Bridge: Determination-red - Being upset is not going to make that shirt clean!
Modified Thinking	Well, maybe I should just wear another skirt which goes with my other shirts! If I'll be upset with him right now, our dinner out will be horrible!
New Feelings	I felt better. I wasn't upset anymore.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I just picked up something else and we went out to have a wonderful evening. My husband couldn't even imagine how upset I was.
Global Rating	Stress = 3 Coping Successfully = 10 Satisfaction with myself = 10 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 9 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 2

Feelings & Emotions	I felt sad and later upset and raging.
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	"How can he prefers to stay home in a such a beautiful day instead of going to the beach or playing tennis? He can study later!"
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	" Do not let..." Bridge: Determination-red - I need to understand his situation.
Modified Thinking	He indeed needs to do a lot for tomorrow, maybe it is better for him to stay home. Yesterday we spent the whole day out and it was great, now it is time to study.
New Feelings	I didn't feel anger toward him anymore. But I was still sad that he wasn't with me that day.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I met my friend and we had a good time together. I felt I was doing the right thing letting him study and not making him feel bad about it.
Global Rating	Stress = 5 Coping Successfully = 9 Satisfaction with myself = 9 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 9 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 6

Feelings & Emotions	I panicked, felt lost, then I felt very angry with myself. I raged.
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	"I probably broke his computer, he will be so upset! I am so stupid! How can I always do things like this?"
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	" Do not let..."Bridge: Resistance-blue - What is the worst thing that can happen?
Modified Thinking	He will be upset but he will forgive me because it was an accident! I didn't mean to break it!
New Feelings	I felt calmer and more rational.
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I turned the TV on to change my focus. He soon got home and after he checked the computer, he told me that nothing seriously had happen with it.
Global Rating	Stress = 6 Coping Successfully = 9 Satisfaction with myself = 9 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 5 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 3

Feelings & Emotions	I was feeling very hungry when I got home, then I experienced rage when I saw my husband home and no dinner ready.
Thinking, Sentences said to Myself	"Why he didn't think about me? I always cook for both of us when I get home! He is being selfish! He doesn't care that I am dying of hunger!"
Bridge used (Determination-red or Resistance-blue)	"Do not let..." Bridge: Determination-red - I need to understand his situation.
Modified Thinking	"What if I was home studying for something important and he would get home yelling at me? I would be upset! Well, he doesn't get home before me everyday, maybe indeed he is busy with something important."
New Feelings	I felt more patient, but I was still very nervous (I always am when I am hungry)
Resulting Sensations, Appearance, Overt acts	I had some frozen food and it took me just 15 minutes to prepare it. I handle the problem very well. After I ate I felt great and talked a lot with him. He was finishing his paper which was due next day. I was glad I controlled my emotions and reacted in very proper way.
Global Rating	Stress = 5 Coping Successfully =9 Satisfaction with myself = 8 Level of hope = 10 Effectiveness or productivity = 8 Worst level of negativity or selfishness of some other people = 3