Annotated
Bibliography Report
by
Brenda Dorador
PSY
409 f (a)
Fall
2002--Generation 17
Dr. Leon James, Instructor
Instructions for this report can
be accessed here
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Introduction
The two topics I chose to research for my Annotated Bibliography was: 1) what people do while driving and what are the consequences, and 2) what are the differences between men and women in how they handle relationships. My search process and findings of information was easy and enjoyable. Throughout this report I will highlight some topics that were of interest to me in regards to the above two items.
Although
these were two very different items, I was able to find a connection with how
each sex handles behaviors and relationships. I was able to see how every
aspect of our lives affect each other. The outside world affects our driving
behaviors, and vice versa. My topics of discussion will range from driving
distractions and consequences, to interracial relationships and dating games.
1) Driving Distractions on today’s highway
A) I chose to research what people do (distractions) while driving. I found many things drivers do ranging from talking to other passengers and adjusting the car stereo, to picking their nose. These were the results of a 2001 Distracted Driving Survey. Their research results indicated that driver distraction is a contributing factor in 25-50% of all crashes, causing an estimated 4,000 to 8,000 traffic crashes each day across the nation.
These
statistics were a result of 1013 drivers surveyed August 16-19, 2001 by Pacific
Data Development Corporation. I
believe the intent of the article was not only to inform the reader of the
seriousness of driving distractions, but also to make the reader aware of their
individual actions that often go overlooked. Many of these actions are
causes of safety violations on our highways. These are just daily common
activities that many drivers have incorporated in their individual driving
routine.
B) Recently we have been debating the use of cell phones
while driving during class and on our weekly forum discussions. Based on this
survey and contrary to popular belief, cell phone use is not the
highest/biggest distracter on our roads and highways. The biggest distracter in
drivers is talking with passengers. My initial reaction to the article was both
surprise and a sense of confirmation. To truly talk and have a conversation to
others, we have to pay attention to them and focus the topic of discussion. By
doing this, we begin to lower our attentiveness to the road, subconsciously
thinking that we can slack off a little on the task of driving.
For
example, if at the office or at home, many of us can’t completely focus on two
different task at the same time. What makes the car environment any different.
Vehicles should be the last place that people should attempt to slack on the
full focus that it truly needs. Not only are you risking your life by choosing
to behave somewhat irresponsible, but also you are risking the lives of others.
We need to remember that driving is more serious than we give it credit
for.
C) I would
have to agree with the article on the number one driving distracter. From
personal experience, I feel that I am more easily distracted from passengers
than from my cell phone. Even though the concept of talking is the same, the
fact that one is in your ear and the other sitting next to you, makes a big
difference. When I have a passenger, I have a tendency to look towards them
when speaking, instead of keeping my head and eyes forward.
My
experience is a perfect example of how easily a driver can switch focus on
something other than driving. Within society, you are trained to look at people
when talking to them. If you don’t, it’s considered to be “bad manners.” So
this becomes a constant battle that is going on within you, when you are
driving and have another passenger. I
can see how this distracter would rate higher among others. People believe that
driving with passengers is just more pleasurable, but in reality, it can be more
dangerous.
D) I used the AOL search engine and typed in driving
distractions. The best website I found was www.traficsafety.org/distracted/chart1.html. Finding these facts was not that difficult for me
because I am familiar with the AOL search engine, and it is also very user
friendly. I would have to say that the
most difficult part was choosing an article. Another website that I found
interesting had cartoon figures and safety tips (do’s and don’ts): http://cartalk.cars.com/features/civil/civil1.html
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2) Multi-Task Driving and Aggression
A) This
research article focused on driving distractions. I read an article titled Canadian
drivers' multi-tasking fuels aggression. It discussed how driving
distracters could be connected to aggressive driving. It listed various
taskings that can be viewed/connected as aggressive driving behaviors. The
article also pointed out how the multi-tasking environment of work and home is
seeping into our driving behaviors. Doing various things at one time is
something that is accepted, and often encouraged, in our workplace. Now many
are under the impression that our vehicles are extensions of our desks.
The article also pointed out how the
multi-tasking environment of work and home is seeping into our driving
behaviors. The article states “For many drivers, the workplace concept of
"multitasking," or doing several jobs at once, is making its way
behind the wheel as many drivers eat, read, use cell phones, and even shave or
apply makeup on the road, all of which can frustrate other drivers.” Our fast
paced society also assists in the promotion of these types of behaviors. Car
manufacturers attempt to make vehicles resemble some of the comforts or our
work area as well.
B) My initial
reaction to it was of surprise. It was hard to fathom that our work and home
habits continue into our driving habits. I didn’t want to make the connection
between the two. I started to think back and analyze my actions and behaviors
behind the wheel. I put my own habits into perspective, and noticed that what
the article was pointing out was exactly some of the behaviors I exhibit in my
vehicle. I attempt to occupy myself by thinking of other things and doing other
things.
I noticed that I tend to do
several things other than drive. Also, when I don’t have other things to do
other than drive, I start searching for things to do to keep me distracted. I
often attempt to distract myself by searching through various radio stations,
or I’ll look up on my visor and scan through my CD collection that I keep in my
car. The title of multi-tasking and aggression was of interest to me because I
noticed that my aggression rises when I have more things I need to get done.
C) I now agree with the statement that multitasking is making
its way behind the wheel. Not only are these tasks a form of aggressive
driving, but they can also ignite aggressive driving behaviors in other drivers.
Driving isn’t only a one-person show, but a culture of many people having to
share space. A little bit of consideration of others in this area can alleviate
many frustrations and headaches that we experience.
We must remember that we are not
alone out there. Driving is a task that is shared by many, of various levels of
experience and attitudes towards it. I believe that being more considerate of
others, and valuing others lives can change some of these behaviors. Sometimes
we don’t acknowledge the severity of our behaviors until it becomes to late. I
now attempt to be conscientious of other drivers. I try to put it into
perspective, and realize that I am not immune to auto accidents.
D) I used the AOL search engine for this
topic. I typed in driving distractions and aggression, and a multitude of
articles popped up. I came upon this website: http://ad.trafficmp.com/tmpad/content/yahoo/storedirectory.html, which is the link to the discussed article. Again, I didn’t
have a difficult time finding information for my topic since it is widely
discussed and researched.
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3) What are the Consequences of
Distractions?
A) This
topic posting is on what people do while driving and the consequences there of.
I found an article titled Effects of aggressive driving and driver
characteristics on road rage. The journal article discussed the extent of
how road rage is triggered, and what/which aggressive driving behaviors can
trigger it. From previous research and findings, the use of cell phone is
considered to be an aggressive driving behavior. The article states that cell
phone use has increased tremendously in the past decade.
A study found that "the chance of a collision
was 4 times higher when the driver was using the phone" [while driving].
The article also states that cell phone using drivers have slower response
times. Another avenue of concern was the increase in traffic congestion. The
article states that “as traffic congestion increases, the potential for
confrontation and retaliation also increases.” People need their personal
space, and even more so on our highways.
B)
It was interesting to see that there is a lot of research and public
interest in driving characteristics and behaviors. Initially I was still
hesitant to put so much blame of cell phone use on accidents. I guess I have
these reservations because I sometimes am a driving cell phone user. Yes, I do
agree that they are huge distracters, but I have a hard time on the emphasis
that many put on it. I guess these words are coming from a cell phone user.
The topic of cell phone use caught my interest
because I feel like this topic specifically applies to my behaviors. I have
also started noticing, when I’m driving, the decline in reaction times from
other drivers while they are on their cell phone. When I’m driving and I am not
on my cell phone, I get bothered when I see other drivers on theirs. It is very
hypocritical of me, but I notice that this is the way I feel about it.
C) From my
ongoing research on driving behaviors (particularly cell phone usage), I now
tend to use my hands-free device before holding the phone to my ear. I am
beginning to agree that cell phone use in the car is a distracter, but at the
same time I believe that there can be a happy medium for both sides of the
argument. As our society grows, we have to be more flexible with everyone’s
differences, especially when driving.
For example, using a hands-free device vs. holding
phone to ear seems to be a good compromise. I know that driving with the hands
free device puts me more at ease, and I have the sense that I am in more
control of my driving. I feel this way because I am able to place both hands on
the steering wheel, thus giving me a better handle of my vehicle. The more
literature and studies that I research, the more I notice an awareness of my
actions, and those of other drivers.
D) I went to the Hawaii Voyager Library page,
clicked on the databases and indexes link, typed in road rage, and searched for
this topic under Psychology and Behavioral Sciences collection. There was an abundance of information on
this topic under the P & BS collection. I scrolled through the various
articles, and found the article titled Effects of aggressive driving and
driver characteristics on road rage with no problems. The Hawaii Voyager
Library was very easy to use and reference information on. From this point I
decided to access the Voyager Library more frequently for future research on
this and other topics.
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4) Why is it Crazy Out There?
A) This was a section of an article titled Road Rage by Andrew Ferguson. He writes about how we[society] are taught from a young age to be courteous and well mannered to others. He poses the question on the reader as to why this doesn’t carry on into our driving habits and behaviors on the highways/roadways. He points out the most common bad habits of drivers across our nation. Some bad habits include: cutting others off, obscene gestures, cursing, tailgating, and eating.
I believe the author’s intent is to make people aware that we are forgetting to apply the good habits of daily life to actions and behaviors in our vehicles. The top two bad driving habits/behaviors were eating and, of course, using the cell phone. One entry that was humorous to me was when he made the comment about eating. Ferguson wrote, “Eating in the car. Do you drive in your dining room?” He uses humorous remarks to make a lasting impact on the reader.
B) My initial reaction was that of agreement. The thing that caught my interest about this section was the cynicism used by the author. When speaking of the cell phone use, he states, “Using the cell phone. O.K., Hotshot, we get the idea: your important. Now can’t the boss wait till you get back to the office?” Comments such as these tend to grab my attention because they are subtle, and funny at the same time.
The way the material was
presented wasn’t dry in my opinion, so I guess that is why I was more accepting
of it. What the author was stating is true. We take our household lifestyles
into our vehicles with no problem, but we don’t take our driving lifestyle
(driving in the living room) into our home. I think that this is solely due to
the fact that we respect what is in our home more than we respect others on the
highway.
C) I can say I agree to a great extent with the author. He put my actions behind the wheel in perspective. Although, as I have previously stated, I think there can be a happy medium on the issue of cell phone use while driving. I think hands free devices will help more than hinder drivers. It’s not that we are all intentionally trying to portray our “importance.” We all use cell phones for different reasons: some for socializing and pleasure, and others for very important business and life matters.
I think a compromise can be made on this matter if we really tried. The material was presented in a very straightforward manner, and I was able to appreciate that. Forget boring the reader with statistics. Give them the real deal: We are becoming inconsiderate bastards behind the wheel, and this was not the type of behavior that isn’t socially acceptable in the driving community. The bottom line is that we need to respect the lives of others, and stop thinking that the world only revolves around our vehicles and us.
D) I searched “aggressive driving behaviors” using the AOL search engine. I scrolled through the articles until I found the title of Road Rage: Aggressive driving is America’s carsickness du jour. But is there a cure for thinking everyone else on the road is and idiot? I stopped on this article because I find Time Magazine to be a reliable source. This article can be found at www.time.com/time/magazine/1998/dom/980112/society.road_rage_.html. I had no difficulties in finding information on this topic. Scrolling through the various articles and finding one particular topic to discuss was the most difficult part of this search.
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5) Who are the Tarmac Terrorists?
A) Tarmac Terrorism is defined as anti-social elements of drivers who have a complete disregard for societal values. Strangely enough, bad driving habits and behaviors fell under this category. Tarmac terrorism was a section in an article titled Road Rage- What is it and how to avoid it- iam.org.uk. These terrorists are identified as, “the inexperienced young male drivers, enjoying the thrill of danger showing off to impress their passengers and young female pedestrians, the social misfits-don’t fit well into society and who break the laws of other kinds, the joy riders-who express themselves by driving somebody else’s car dangerously fast, and just ordinary drivers who have an ‘easy attitude’ towards traffic laws.”
The article discussed how busy and competitive lifestyles “put drivers in a desperate hurry, looking for advantage, such as a gap or short-cut.” Another aspect that it points out is how domestic troubles at home or work, “influence your mood to an extent that you’re less considerate and tolerant of the ‘stupid’ mistakes made by other road users. The article also describes vehicles as “Your living room on wheels.” The driver gets a feeling of comfort from using household-like gadgets such as radios, telephones, and cassettes. I believe the intent of this section in the article was to make readers aware of how environmental influences play a big role in our driving habits.
B) My initial reaction to this article was a sense of understanding. It was easy to see how our work and home behaviors influence our daily driving. As congestion begins to rise more and more, the time we send in our vehicles begin to increase. For some of us, we spend just as much time in our vehicles as we do in our homes. If this is the case for many of us, then I can see why we would strive to attain the same comfort in our vehicles as we would in our homes.
Our temperaments outside our vehicles influence our attitudes inside our vehicles in the future. The heading of the section “Tarmac Terrorism- Drivers Behaving Badly- driving.co.uk” caught my interest because I am interested in studying different behaviors and reactions of drivers. This is something that many drivers should strive for. I think we need to be more observant of others driving behaviors so that we can have a better understanding of people, especially when they are in control of vehicle that can be used as a deadly weapon.
C) I agree with the author because I notice that there is a correlation between work habits and driving habits in many people I interact with. Those that tend to have a more laid-back job and attitude, tend to drive calmer and not as aggressive. Though this is not always the case, there is a positive correlation between temperament and driving habits. I notice aggressive driving behaviors more in those that display aggressive characteristics both at home and at work.
This information was useful in that it gave me a better understanding of how my temperament and behaviors outside of my vehicle are reflected in my driving patterns. Usually, I’m laid back and have a “chill” attitude when dealing with people. This is usually carried into my driving pattern. Every now and then, I deviate from this. If there are environmental factors that influence/stress my day, my driving behavior will convey this.
D) I used the AOL search engine and typed in driving behaviors. I clicked on the link titled Smart Motorist-Road Rage- Tarmac Terrorism-Drivers Behaving Badly at www.smartmotorist.com/rag/rag.htm. Since there is an abundance of information on this topic, it was fairly easy to find information. This is a good topic to research, as there is information and research that is easily accessible. Additionally, there are always other links within web pages that provide more information.
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6) What’s the Difference Between Men and Women in
Handling Relationships?
A)
I researched the difference between men and women in how they handle
relationships. The article discussed how men and women have different comfort
levels when discussing the topic of their relationship. The author wrote that
relationship discussion mean different things to men and women. He states, “Often a woman will just want a chat, which
can also involve airing her thoughts and worries. This is not usually a
confrontational thing, just an opportunity to get something off her chest.
However, a lot of men see a simple ‘clearing the air’ discussion as a moan or
an indication of unhappiness.
He gets on the defensive, says everything she’s saying is
rubbish; she says he’s an uncaring cad who doesn’t understand her.” He
continues on to say, “During relationship discussions, men tend to look for
logical answers to issues that are less than straightforward. Try explaining to
him that you don’t necessarily want quick fix responses from him – if you do
simply want to get something off your chest, tell him that. Ask him to just
listen”.
B) I would definitely have to agree.
I was able to identify with many of the issues that the author discussed. It
was somewhat creepy, but at the same time, it was understandable. I can recall
plenty of times in my previous relationships that I would just want to talk and
touch base with my boyfriend about how our relationship is going. I would get
the same result that the article discussed. They would want to just provide
answers and “fix” things. Sometimes giving the answers is not the solution.
They would usually see it as I’m unhappy, and want to quit
the relationship. I think that being able to speak with your partner takes a
lot of time and trust from both parties. I guess really knowing your partner
and having effective and comprehensive conversation can alleviate
misunderstandings such as these. This seems to be the most difficult task in
many relationships. Communication is a continuous cycle that needs to be worked
on daily.
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C) We need to keep in mind that our significant
others have different ways and views on things, and thus clear and concise
communication is a must if a relationship is to last and be prosperous. What I
got out of the article…communication is the key. Communication is something
that seems to be the easiest thing to give to a partner. Many believe that
communication should be like second nature. The reality is that it is not. If
it was, the divorce rates would be extremely lower.
Communication: without it, the two (couple) won’t track.
The article discussed some helpful points and gave me some useful information
to apply to my personal life. I see that before communication can take place,
there has to be a certain level of trust in that other person. When disclosing
information to others, we speak with the “belief” that we can trust them not to
hurt us with our own words later on.
Many people don’t speak just to speak; they take the time to think
first. So I guess the real challenge is not communication, but the trust in the
other person to have that communication.
D) I used the AOL search engine
and clicked on an article titled:
Why do men avoid relationship discussions? The following is the website
where this article can be found.
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/dating/men/articles/0,9546,139_179553,00.html.
Again, my research experience was fairly easy. This topic is one that is highly
discussed, and therefore, plenty of literature was available.
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7) Missing Counterpart
A) My research
topic is on women and men in relationships. I found an article titled Disappearing
Acts. The author focused on the missing counterparts(black men) in the home.
She writes, “I began to see something: the only males present at these events
were usually diapered, disabled or dusty with age.” The events she was
referring to were weddings, funerals, graduations, and reunions. She writes
that men in the black home are missing, not involved, and not really holding a
value to the family.
She also goes on to state that as
the boys grow to be men, they disengage themselves more and more from their
community and family. Somewhere through the years, they forget that mother,
sister, aunt, etc.. that raised him. She states that they go outside of their
community to seek comfort and calmness. She uses a quote from actor Wesley
Snipes to support this theory. She writes, “I find Wesley Snipes, my brother,
talking about his Asian girlfriend and reportedly describing a brother’s need
to ‘turn to some place that’s more compassionate…to come home to comforting.”
This was implying that a black woman can’t provide this treatment and care.
B) My initial reaction was disappointment and hopelessness, in
regards to the opposite sex. If this is the case, why are we bothering to seek
them and take care of them? I don’t think that this is the case in every man.
In my opinion, if this is the thinking of the man, then I don’t need someone like
that in my life. The title of the article initially caught my eye because I
have seen a movie with this title and thought that there was a connection
between the two.
To some extent, there was a
connection in the message of the movie and the article. In the movie, the man
was not fully playing the male role in the woman’s life, as is described in the
article. As I read the article, the author posed a question in the opening
sentence that sparked my interest. She asked “where have all the brothers gone?”
This is a question many women tend to ask rhetorically. Sometimes it seems
impossible to find them, but I have enough hope to know that they do exist.
C) After reading the article, the biggest thing that I noticed
was miscommunication, and anger from both aspects (men and women). It seems as
though both were misinterpreting each other’s actions. From youth, they are
taught and mimic ineffective communication skills and poor defense mechanisms
to deal with life's trials and tribulations. The actual problem begins from
youth, and with no education to intervene, the cycle will continue.
The author gave some examples of the
way children are taught to yell, pull, and be harsh with people. I think that
as adults we need to focus on understanding and effective communication with
our partners if a relationship is to succeed. If we focus on that, then other
factors (i.e. race) would not be used as a scapegoat for the underlying issue:
poor communication skills. We have to learn to have a common respect for the
people we are in relationships with. I think some of these issues can be
alleviated if we remember to respect others. The information was good, but I
can’t agree that the causes of miscommunication are due to race.
D) I searched in
the UH Library catalog under Database and Indexes (EBSCOhost). The database
that I went under was Psychology and Behavioral Science Collection. I typed in
Men and Women and Relationships, and came upon this article. The information
was not very difficult to find. There were a number of articles I found under
this particular search that would be beneficial to my report project.
8) The Problem
with Women? Men.
A) This
article mainly discussed men’s failure to acknowledge their feminine side.
Collin Channer is giving examples of how men are failing the women they say
they love and cherish. They are failing as fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands,
boyfriends, and sons. He writes how men leave the home, don’t commit, and leave
their responsibilities in the hands of the women in their life to take care of.
He also addresses the challenge of learning to become a man without having a
father figure to mimic.
He gives credit to the women in his life (primarily his mother) for
helping him see that he has both “male and female energies” that play a big
part in his maturity and growth as a person, not just a man. The intended
message for the reader is to acknowledge that the have both energies that they
should be developing. Until this is realized, a life of harmony will not be
attained.
B) My initial reaction was to think that this
article had to be written by a woman. I was surprised when I saw that a man was
writing these words. The title of the article, The Problem with Women? Men,
initially caught my interest. The answer seemed to be so simple, as implied by
the title. To read this article, knowing that it was coming from a man, made
reading even more interesting. It seemed as though the opposite sex was
listening…finally!
He disclosed some personal information about his childhood experiences
of his growing up without a father, which kept my interest in the article. He
wrote, “My father left my house when I was 6 and died when I was 12.” He gives
a lot of credit, for the man that he has grown to be, to his mother. At one
point he writes,” She was a bigger man than he.” This statement was so powerful
and praising, to say the least.
C) I would have to agree with the author. His theories about men and
their underdeveloped (feminine) self seems very true of today’s man in society.
I can’t really say that his views are right or wrong, but only that this avenue
of thought is insightful. To hear a man speak of a woman with such a high level
of respect and admiration, is something that is not done enough in our world
today. The author definitely gave credit where credit was due.
It helped me to put my own
personal theories of men in perspective, and opened up a new path to question
and think about when dealing with new relationships. When starting something
new, you’re not only starting something with that person, but you are also
getting a piece of his past and his life. A lot can be seen about a man by the
way he treats and feels about the woman that gave him life. The article overall
was reassuring to me.
D) I used the UH Library
catalog under Database and Indexes (EBSCOhost) for this search. The database
that I went under was Psychology and Behavioral Science Collection. I typed in
Man-Woman Relationships, and came upon this article. The article was fairly
easy to find due to the tremendous amount of research and editorials on this
topic. I don’t think I will ever have a difficult time finding information on
the topic of men-women and relationships.
9) The Color of Love
A) The many challenges of men and women in interracial relationships were the
focus of this article. The question is posed on the reader in the opening
paragraph “What happens when you date someone outside your race?” The article
gave point of views on this topic by three different women. All three of their
stories had positive outcomes, even when the interracial relationship didn’t
work out.
Aside from the issue of
interracial relationships, the article also focused on the importance of
communication and expression of feelings between couples. I think the overall
message to the reader is that regardless of outside issues and cultural
differences, communication is the root of a successful partnership.
B) My
initial reaction to the article was that of curiosity because of the opening
question. The article caught my interest because of the race topic. Although
many teach to erase the racial lines, the truth of the matter is that race is
here to stay. As long as we have racial differences, there will always be
racial issues. From personal experiences, I have noticed that the many differences
the ways of life. I think that you need a good level of open-mindedness to deal
with the challenges of interracial dating.
I have
an interest in opinions and questions about differences in cultures, because
there are so many different views in society. I would like to believe that in
today’s day and age, interracial dating is considered a ‘norm’ but there are
still many that see this as taboo. With this in mind, those who choose to date
outside of their race need that not only are you going to experience the
challenges of a relationship alone, but also the ‘interracial’ challenge within
society. When you add this to the regular stress of a relationship in itself,
it just made topic that much more appealing to me.
C) I have to definitely agree with the
importance of having good open communication with your partner. Speaking from
experience, I know that being involved in an interracial relationship brings
upon its own different and individual stressors that aren’t there in same race
relationships. Society’s view on this matter will be challenging, and often
times, family will also add further stressors to the relationship. Although the
challenges and stressors may increase, I feel that these things will only
enhance and enrich the relationship.
I would
have to agree with many of the points the author brought out. I find the
information useful in my personal life. I feel that due to my ethnic
background, I will mostly likely be involved in interracial relationships, and
these are some issues that I need to start taking into consideration. Even
though I feel that this should not be an issue in a relationship, I would be
lying to myself if I choose not to acknowledge these differences. Trust,
communication, and honesty are the tools that will overcome these challenges.
D) Again, I used the UH Library catalog under
Database and Indexes (EBSCOhost) for this search. The database that I went
under was Psychology and Behavioral Science Collection. I typed in Man-Woman Relationships,
and came upon this article, The Color of Love. I had a pretty easy time
finding information for this topic, and had no problems using the UH automated
catalog system.
10) The dating
game: Who’s intimidating whom?
A) The notion that women use the “intimidation
factor” was the focal point in this article titled The dating game: Who’s
Intimidating Whom? The author argues that many women across the country are
using the notion that “he was intimidated” to rationalize men’s failure towards
women. He writes, “I’m asking sisters everywhere to loosen their grip on this
intimidation notion. If a man doesn’t follow through as you’d hoped, sometimes
that’s just the way it goes.”
He
states that many women feel they can’t get a man because her intelligence,
career, power, assertiveness, etc. intimidate men, and they (men) can’t handle
it. The author takes the standpoint that this notion is mistaken. The intended
message of the article is to tell women across the country that they shouldn’t
rely so much on this notion because it is more wrong than it is right. The
author uses a lot of rational and justifications for the actions men take in
their dealings with women.
B) I was initially disturbed by his point of
view because it seemed that he was disregarding women’s point of view and
rational for failure in men. It seemed that he was trying to make excuses for
men, without having to empower women. In all actuality, his excuses shows how a
man’s shortcomings are looked as ‘no-biggys’. I seemed as though he didn’t want
the male sex to take any responsibility for their actions, or lack there of.
He was
minimizing and discounting a woman’s point of view. The title of the article
caught my interest because of the appeal relationship issues bring to me. I
enjoy reading the various points of view on this topic. This article was on of
those extreme judgment articles. It’s good that views such as these are
expressed because they challenge the reader to see things for various angles.
Of course, I don’t fault all shortcomings on a man; that would be ignorant of
me. I do believe that both sexes play a role in relationship pitfalls.
C) I found myself disagreeing with most of the
opinions the author had about women’s views on the inadequacies of men. He made
it seem as if his excuses for men’s shortcomings in relationships, supercede
the opinions and views of women. The most important thing the writer failed to
do in his article was one simple thing many men tend to forget and overlook:
listen. His comments were very insincere and on a certain level, condescending.
The
article was a perfect example of selective listening and ineffective
communication between both parties. The
excuses he made were examples of men not sharing their feelings and thoughts
openly towards women. If there is resistance in sharing of thoughts and
feelings, then it leaves nothing but room for assumptions and implications to
be had by women. I don’t believe in making excuses and using them as answers.
Instead of looking and assuming answers, I think more questions need to be
imposed on the opposite sex. This may lessen some of the assumptions made by
both parties.
D) I used the UH Library catalog under Database
and Indexes (EBSCOhost) for this search. The database that I went under was
Psychology and Behavioral Science Collection.
I continued under the topic/search of Man-Woman Relationships, and came
upon this article. This search was uncomplicated because I had many articles to
elect from.
11) Between Us
A) This article was in a question and answer format, and discussed some
questions readers have sent in to the author/psychologist. One question related
to the uncertainty a woman has towards making a life-long commitment (marriage)
to her fiancé of 8 yrs. The question was, “My fiancé and I plan to marry in the
spring. Although we have dated for eight years, during the last five we’ve seen
each other only on weekends because of our busy schedules. This shortened the
quality time has made me unsure about marrying him.
Last year I met a man on the train I take to work. We exchanged numbers
so we could get to know each other better. Now we talk every day. He is also a
member of my church. How should I handle my feelings for him? Should I take a
risk or stay with the familiar?” The answers to the questions in this article
focused on assessing the inner self before making life-changing decisions. I
believe the intended message of this particular article is to let the reader
know that careful thought and inner emotional assessments should be made when
facing questions about relationships and making decisions that can alter them.
B) I was initially surprised that the
uncertainty was coming from the woman’s perspective, because this is usually
written or stereotyped to be on the part of a man. Even though I know that
women have reservations about relationships and commitments just as much as men
do, I notice these insecurities are more open and voiced among men than women.
Many of the questions are written were familiar to me on a certain level.
The Q
& A format initially caught my eye because this format is easy to read and
offers upfront answers without having to wait until the end of the article to
get answers. I enjoyed the Q & A format because it seemed easier to read
and follow. The answers given were satisfying and appeared to be basic. You
have to know yourself and your needs before sharing yourself. How can you share
yourself if you are not in tune with yourself?
C) Even though my initial
reaction was stereotypical, my final opinion hasn’t veered off too much from that.
I did agree with the information and advice the psychologist was giving the
women. I think it was very helpful both to them and to myself. It let me know
that to have a healthy and open relationship, you need insight. This comes from
self-assessment that we often forget to do.
Sometimes I tend to forget to
do/make an emotional assessment before acting and reacting. The more in tune I
get with myself, the better relationship decisions I think I will make in the
future. This is a continuous growth process that can’t be overlooked if you are
wanting a healthy relationship. You have to be true to yourself for this to
work. The more work you put into yourself, the richer your relationships will
be.
D) I found this article using
the UH Library catalog under Database and Indexes (EBSCOhost) for this
search. The database that I went under was Psychology and Behavioral Science
Collection. I continued under the Man-Woman Relationships search topic, and
came upon this article titled Between Us. I didn’t have any difficulties
with finding adequate information on this topic for my report. This topic was
quite enjoyable to research because of all the available resources and
information that were easily accessible.
Conclusion
Throughout this report I have discussed
two very distinct yet closely related topics. In the area of driving
distractions, I pointed out how people treat driving distractions and what
people actually view as a driving distraction. Multi-tasking is being viewed in
today’s society as a must behind the wheel. This is affecting both men and
women equally as more women enter the workforce. Driving distractions are
affected by both our work and home behaviors. So whether you stay at home, or
are in the workforce, your driving behavior will be affected.
The second
area of my bibliography project was the topic of how men and women handle
relationships. In my readings and findings, I noticed that both men and women
treat their “driving relationship” like they would their intimate relationship.
What you exercise outside your vehicle will be passed on into your driving
behaviors, whether they are good or bad. In both research topics, I noticed a
mutual gap, or missing link. We are forgetting to use our manners when dealing
with situations and people in general. I think that if we remember to apply
common courtesy and respect for others, 1) we will enhance our communication
towards each other, and 2) our stress level will decrease tremendously.
Back To My Homepage BACK TO CLASS HOME PAGE
References:
1) 2001 Distracted Driving Survey. www.traficsafety.org/distracted/chart1.html.
2001
2) Canadian Drivers’ Multi-Tasking Fuels Aggression. http://ad.trafficmp.com/tmpad/content/yahoo/storedirectory.html. 2002
3) Dukes, Richard; Clayton, Stephanie; Jenkins, Lessie T.; Miller,
Thomas L. and Rodgers, Susan E. Effects of Aggressive Driving and Driver
Characteristics on Road Rage. Social Science Journal, 2001, Vol 38 Issue 2,
p323, 9p. Elsevier Science Publishing Company, Inc. 2001
4) Road Rage: Aggressive driving is America’s carsickness du
jour. But is there a cure for thinking everyone else on the road is and
idiot? www.time.com/time/magazine/1998/dom/980112/society.road_rage_.html.
2002.
5) Smart Motorist-Road Rage- Tarmac Terrorism-Drivers Behaving
Badly. www.smartmotorist.com/rag/rag.htm.
2002.
6) Why do men avoid relationship discussions? http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/dating/men/articles/0,9546,139_179553,00.html.
2002.
7) Dickerson, Debra. Disappearing Acts. Essence, Jan99, Vol.
29 Issue 9, p94, 5p.1999.
8) Channer, Colin. The Problem with Women? Men. Essence,
May2002, Vol. 33 Issue 1, p114, 1p. 2002.
9) Johnson, Pamela. The Color of Love. Essence, Jul2002, Vol.
33 Issue 3, p68, 2p. 2002.
10) Brown, Clinton J. The Dating Game: Who’s Intimidating Whom?
Essence, Jun96, Vol. 27 Issue 2, p136, 1bw. 1996.
11) Grant, Gwendolyn Goldsby. Between Us. Essence, Sep2002, Vol.
33 Issue 5, p88, 1p. 2002.