Annotated Bibliography Report
by: Jenai Santee
Fall 2002--Generation 17
Dr. Leon James, Instructor
Instructions for this report can be accessed here
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ÊÊÊÊ ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ ÊTopic 1ÊÊ ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ
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How Men and Women Handle Relationships
Differently
Introduction:
Have you ever wondered why
your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend seems so desperate in wanting to
intentionally disagree with whatever input you may have on you folksâ
relationship?Ê Tired of hearing, ãletâs
talk about thisä or ãif you had done it this wayä?Ê Why are men and women so different when it comes to handling
situations that occur in their relationship?Ê
Itâs simple÷we are different!Ê In the following report I will attempt to
share with you some of the many differences men and women have in how they deal
with everyday life with their significant other.ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ
I.
BiologicalÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ 
ÊÊÊÊ
A. Summary
This first site that I
found has one section that goes into great detail about the difference in the
biology of men and women.Ê Weâre
obviously different from one another on biological terms, but how does that
really relate to how we handle relationships with the opposite sex??Ê ãThe brain, the chief administrative and
emotional organ of life, is differently constructed in men and in women; it
processes information in a different way, which results in different
perceptions, priorities and behaviorä (Moir & Jessel).Ê
ãMen tend to favor the left side of the brain where language and
logic operate. They also tend to be conquer oriented and are more interested in
facts and information and less aware of relational needs. Women, on the other
hand, tend to favor the right side of the brain, where feelings, nurturing, and
the relational part of life operates. They also tend to be relationship
motivated and oriented.Ê Medical
research studies have shown that in the womb, between the eighteenth and
twenty-sixth week of gestation, something happens that forever separates the
sexes. Using heat-sensitive color monitors, researchers have actually observed
what happens. A chemical bath of different sex-related hormones washes over a
baby boy's brain, causing several important changes that never happen to the
brain of a baby girl.ä (Smalley).
Basically what happens is
that boys experience a ãchemical bathä that results in the right side of the
brain to recede slightly and at the same time, destroy some vital fibers that
connect the two sides of the brain. This results, in most cases, in the boy
starting life as left-brained oriented--the side of the brain that holds ãmore
of the logical,
analytical, factual, and aggressive centers of thoughtä (Smalley). Girls on the
other hand, who donât experience this chemical bath, are more ãtwo-sidedä in
their way of thinking.Ê Women tend to
stay more on the right side that holds the centers for feelings and emotions,
as well as relational, communication and language skills.Ê This side allows for imagination,
fine-detail work and enjoying the fine arts.
B. Initial Reaction
Initially, upon coming
across this site, I had much doubt that it would even be useful to me for my
research on men and women handling their relationships differently.Ê To begin with, the title of the site is ãHOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND
WOMEN CAN HELP YOUR HUSBAND BECOME A PROMISE KEEPERä.Ê I figured the reason my search engine had picked it up was because
of just the first few words or the title, but I had decided to check it out
anyway.Ê I told myself it didnât hurt to
skim it, because I just might find something useful.Ê And luckily I did.
Though the site was not completely devoted to my research, I found that this short section dealing with the differences in the brain of men and women to be a very important asset to my research.Ê I was interested in the title too, so if I had found out that there was nothing I could use for my report, I still feel that I would have gained knowledge from this site for my own self and my future husband.Ê Also, another reaction that I had was that it seemed to be religiously-based and I questioned whether or not this type of site would be appropriate and whether or not any of my readers would be offended.Ê
C. ÊOpinion
Personally, I feel this was a pretty appropriate
site for anyone who is involved in a relationship to take a look at.Ê I know for my part, that I will use this
information toward my own relationship.Ê
Some parts that I found to be really interesting was how the author said
ãwe (women) have an
intuitive desire to build a meaningful relationship with those in our lives.
Not only that, but we also have the capacity to recognize a healthy and
intimate relationship. In a practical way, this means that we carry inside of
us a built-in marriage manual!ä (Smalley).
Interestingly enough, that doesnât mean men are incapable of having access to this ãbuilt-in marriage manualä.Ê Once they tap in, theyâll be able to gain enormous amounts of knowledge that they probably never considered in their life before.Ê Realizing that men and women are unique and that they both need each other in order to strengthen what the other lacks on, can only help and better a healthy and happy relationship.Ê It will give the relationship balance, allowing both to mature together.
Another thing that I found pretty interesting was the comment Smalley made that love is a decision, not a feeling.Ê Iâm not too sure if I can completely agree with that statement.Ê I do agree that one can choose to love, but I do also feel that sometimes, love is innate.Ê You just canât help it for whatever the reason.Ê I definitely disagree with her saying that love is not a feeling.Ê Of course it is, to me at least.Ê I think itâs just so deep a feeling that sometimes itâs difficult to explain or even that it may hurt to even attempt to explain it.Ê Love is the major ingredient in a relationship, and I believe, without that÷thereâs nothing.
D. Process
I first went to www.yahoo.com and decided to look up ãbiological differences in men and womenä.Ê Many sites came up.Ê After skimming over some of the first few titles, I had found some sites that I thought would be useful.Ê I began to check those sites out and found there wasnât too much information that I could use.Ê I realized that the title doesnât always tell you exactly what you need.Ê Sometimes the search engine can pick up the words from all over the site and they may not go together at all.Ê As I was about to give up on that approach of biology for my research, I figured I would try one more.
That was when I came across the site:
http://smalley.gospelcom.net/articles/marriage/normaspk.htm
It was my last resort and if I hadnât found anything I was most likely going to give up on the idea of biology and even the whole topic of the differences between men and women handling relationships.Ê This subtopic, I believe was pretty difficult to find information on.Ê Iâm not sure of it was the search engine I used or maybe even the choice of words I searched for.Ê But I am glad I came across this one before giving up on it completely because I feel I gained a lot of knowledge not just for the research part, but also from the entire site for personal reasons.
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II. Physiological
A. Summary
This next site that I found was also a very short section of the entire site.Ê ãIt is called Menâs Success FAQâs on Singles, Dating & Relationshipsä.Ê The site basically has a list of questions commonly asked by men dealing with how they can improve on their current relationship, how to get into a good relationship, how to get over past relationships· and so on.Ê There was one particular question that caught my immediate attention.Ê The question was ãhow do I deal with the differences between men and women?äÊ
This question was answered in a way that deals with my subtopic of physiological differences.Ê The part of the brain that handles emotional processing is significantly larger in men than it is in women.Ê Itâs pretty common knowledge women are much more emotional than men.Ê And men are pretty much more directed and focused than women are.Ê ãOn her side of the line she sends her meanings out more in her feelings than in what she does or even says. And she expects you to get her meaning the way she does: with your feelings. On your side your meanings go out in words and actions. And you expect her to find your meaning in what you say and doä (Badalamenti).
B.
Initial Reaction
The thing that caught my attention with this site was the whole idea that men were asking questions about women and what they can do to make their relationships better.Ê I know itâs a pretty major stereotype to say that men donât want to improve on their relationships, but at times from my own past experiences, it really did seem that way to me, or at least that was the impression I got.Ê I was curious to see what some of the answers would be, especially since the answers were coming from a man, himself.Ê I only wonder though, if the answers would have been handled differently as they were presented, if a woman was to answer them.
Initially, again I felt that I led myself in the wrong direction because it was just a small part of an entire site that pertained to my research.Ê But I guess it goes along with that old saying that good things do come in small packages and less is definitely more.Ê People today, both men and women I believe, are looking for empathy.Ê They are looking for someone to be emotionally supportive÷a soulmate.Ê But it is in the way that they expect the other to be that starts all the arguments.Ê
C. ÊOpinion
Men want to be able to understand women.Ê They want to be able to know what it is that brings security to them, so they can jump in and be the savior.Ê But, sometimes unknowingly, they donât realize that theyâre building a wall between themselves and their women, without so much of trying.Ê Women want and need men to be sensitive to not only their feelings, but to everything that surrounds them and the foundation of their relationship.Ê Women want comfort, affection, and a listening ear.Ê They want to be appreciated, without feeling inferior.Ê They need undivided attention. Itâs interesting how there can be a double standard between men and women in the simple things they do.
ãWhen she speaks, it's idle chatter, when he speaks,
it's classic wisdom.Ê When he tells her
what to do, it is good advice, when she tells him what to do, it's
nagging.Ê When he naps on the couch,
it's getting a well deserved rest, when she naps on the couch, she's neglecting
her duty. When he yells at the children, he's disciplining them, when she yells
at the children, she's impatient. When he is snappy and unkind to her, it is
because she drove him to it, when she is snappy and unkind to him, she's
ill-tempered. If he is too tired to show her affection, it's because he's been
busy, if she is too tired to show him affection, it's because she's frigid.Ê If he had written this, it would have been a
literary masterpiece, if she had written this, she would just be
complainingäÊ (F.E.A.S.T Ministries).
D. Process
Just the same as I searched for the first site using the yahoo search engine, I used that also for this second site.Ê This time I tried to be more specific in my words that I searched for.Ê I was interested in men specifically in what they thought about when problems arose in their relationships.Ê I therefore searched for ãquestions men have about womenä.Ê It is still pretty broad in that a lot of sites did come up because it can pertain to many different things, but I was lucky to find this particular site right on the first site that showed up.
The site that I found is:
http://www.successways.com/pagmen.html
Though this particular site is only part of a major site as well, I thought it would be interesting to look what the rest of the site was made up of too.Ê The original part of the site was titled success FAQs where there were two links leading questions asked by men about women and also questions asked by women about men.Ê I read over most of them and found the one asked by the men would apply most to my research.Ê It took some time reading all the questions, but they were interesting to see what the response would be.Ê
III. Psychological
A. Summary
This site shares with the
reader how power plays a major role in an intimate relationship between a man
and a woman.Ê It also notes that there
is a difference between biological sex and psychological sex.Ê On this site they refer to ãmanä and ãwomanä
as oneâs psychological sex. It doesnât matter whether they were born as
biologically female or biologically male.Ê
ãA psychologically masculine person and a
psychologically feminine person are both needed in order to reach the goal of
psychological sexuality: making a love relationship.Ê Psychological
sexuality is about the personality traits that distinguish most men from most
women. For example, women are often more intuitive than men. Men often are
better at spatial relations than womenä (Newman).Ê
Power includes responsibility, authority, and ability.Ê ãA woman wants her man to take responsibility for her.Ê A man can best show his love for a woman by accepting this responsibility.Ê A man wants to take responsibility for his woman.Ê A woman can best show her love for a man by giving him this responsibilityä (Newman).Ê This site also discusses the masculine-feminine model: a relationship based on the differences between men and women.Ê It appreciates there is a difference between what a man wants from a woman and what a woman wants from a man, relating specifically to power ordeals.
Ê
B. Initial Reaction
Initially, upon reading the details of this site, it seemed as if power was irrelevant to intimate relationships.Ê I was curious to see what sort of aspects of power would entail in making up the differences between men and women handling relationships.Ê This site sparked my interest because I personally have never been involved in a relationship where power would take over the entire bond between two people.Ê It also interested me because I saw the term ãpsychological sexualityä.Ê I was unfamiliar with the word and wanted to see what that would be all about.
I, personally, donât know
anyone who prefers to be with someone of his or her own sex, romantically.Ê But it did puzzle me how they could feel
complete.Ê I never really understood
that until reading this article.Ê Yes,
it takes a biologically male and biologically female to create another human
being, but it does not take a biologically male and biologically female to
create love.Ê It is the qualities of
masculinity and femininity that complete two people in an intimate
relationship.Ê The aspect that one
lacks, the other is stronger in, where the two can make a perfectly equal
relationship.
C. ÊOpinion
After reading the article
I thought about and realized how big a role power can be in a
relationship.Ê I just have never seen it
with my own eyes.Ê Itâs easier for men
to be comfortable in a situation where the structure of the power and its rules
are clear.Ê Being competitive is a
substantial characteristic in being masculine.Ê
He needs control and aggression.Ê
Women are calmer and learn to cooperate at a far younger age.Ê Women tend to be more agreeable than men in
order to keep the mood light.
Power definitely separates
the two sexes in how they handle intimate relationships.Ê Although at times, to me, it would seem that
it is the men who are in much more need of being in control, I do believe there
are a lot of women out there who secretly need it too.Ê Theyâre the kind of women who say yes my
husband wears the pants in our relationship, but I get to choose which one he wears.Ê Power is a pretty overwhelming issue.Ê We see a lot of articles in the newspaper of
spousal abuse and I can pretty much bet on it that 99% of the time, the spousal
abuse is related to the man doing the abuse to the woman.Ê But I can guarantee you that just as much
women abusing men are going on as well, itâs just not what the media wants to
print out.
D. Process
This site was not as easy site to find.Ê I tried using the search engine google for this part of my research to get a little variety, as I am used to using yahoo.Ê I entered the words ãpsychological love relationship differencesä.Ê About 30 pages worth of sites showed up.Ê I tried randomly on the first few pages and wound up with pretty much nothing useful.Ê I usually donât go too far in my search pages, thinking that the most relatable one connected to the words I chose would appear on the first few pages, but I didnât have much to do that day, so I felt like doing some surfing.
I found the site:
Power
and Love: power issues in intimate relationships
I thought it would be
interesting and might deal with how men and women handle relationships.Ê After checking it out and skimming quickly
over the first part of the site, I thought it would be worth it to bookmark it
and check out the whole thing later and if it would apply to my research.Ê I checked out some other sites and came back
disappointed, so I went back to this site and read over the entire thing.Ê I found some parts to be very useful and
educating so I decided to incorporate it into my report.
IV. Social
A. Summary
This site leads in perfectly coming from the previous one regarding psychological differences.Ê I found this site to be useful in its social aspects in regards to everyday life.Ê Men and women alike have a lot going on in their life besides handling a relationship.Ê Some people are juggling school, kids, work, and their love life.Ê That can add up to a lot of stress, sometimes so much so, that one can just not handle it anymore.Ê This site deals with stress and how each men and women handle it differently.
Men are less likely to go
get advice from anyone about whatâs going on in their life.Ê They tend to keep things bottled up inside
and pretend it will just go away, unaware of the consequences that will occur
once that bottle erupts.Ê For some men,
it can lead to abuse÷both physical and emotional.Ê Men and women play different roles in society and their specific
role allows one to be more sharing and may seem one has a greater load in the
stress.Ê Women are more open to talk to
someone when thereâs something stressful going on in her life, and to a woman,
intimate relationships can be very stressful.
B. Initial Reaction
Initially, I saw a short article and again was a little discouraged.Ê I was trying to think of exactly what would fit into the category of social differences between men and women.Ê The roles they play do make a huge difference in society.Ê Men arenât supposed to cry.Ê Women arenât supposed to beat up on anyone, theyâre seen as soft and feminine.Ê Then I came across stress.Ê Stress can play a major role in handling relationships.Ê Outside occurrences surely can affect oneâs relationship.
And whether one chooses to let that outside stress affect their relationship is, Iâm not sure, entirely up to them.Ê You donât see a man stopping on the side of the road asking for directions.Ê Itâs a pride thing.Ê Itâs the role they play in society.Ê Of course if a woman is lost, sheâll be the first to admit it, maybe unconsciously trying to get a man to be her hero.Ê Stress can lead to many things÷sometimes quite hurtful and regretful.Ê It is how they handle it that makes or breaks a relationship and I believe there are differences between men and women and how they approach stress.
Ê
C. ÊOpinion
I think itâs kind of hard to say whether or not I agree with this article because at times it does seem a little wishy-washy at what final point itâs trying to get across.Ê My initial thought was that what they were saying was that men and women differ in handling stress and women are the ones who feel the bulk of it.Ê At some points it seemed that they were saying men and women both have stress in equal amounts.Ê Itâs all because men have more trouble making noise about it.Ê They donât talk about it, so itâs more difficult to measure and say that women have more stress.
But if I were to look at my initial thought, I would agree.Ê I think the way men are made up, they may get stress and they handle it in their own way by releasing all that steam through exercising or whatever.Ê Actually I do think then that men and women have shared amounts of stress.Ê I think it lasts longer in women though, than in men.Ê And women have the need for a shoulder to cry on or an open ear that will listen to them.Ê Maybe women make a bigger thing out of everything than a man would.Ê Iâm not sure.Ê But I do believe that the different ways women and men handle stress directly relates to handling their relationships based on social issues going on around them.
D. Process
I wanted to find something other than just regular websites.Ê I wanted to be able to search for something that would get the thought out in a more broader way.Ê I wanted something published normally on paper and then put online, like our schoolâs Kaleo.Ê So I looked at the yahoo search engine for ãschool newspapers men women social differencesä.Ê I came up with quite a few pages and took my time searching through more or less the first 20 or so sites that came up.Ê Nothing at first sparked my interest.Ê
Then I came across this site:
The title was catchy and the description seemed to fit just what I was looking for.Ê So I checked it out and read through the whole thing since it wasnât very long.Ê I thought it would be something valuable for what I was researching for.Ê I decided to check out a few other sites as well, in case something better would fit my research and found that this site was the best.Ê Difficulty level at finding this site wouldnât be too high, as I had experienced for other sites.
V. Developmental
A. Summary
Developmental issues can lay strongly on how a person handles situations later on in life, specifically in relationships with the opposite sex.Ê Differences occur early on in life between boys and girls.Ê At the tender age of two and a half years old, boys are already developing traits as aggression, control and dominance.Ê They want to build a better and higher block than girls do.Ê ãThey establish their status and then continue to try to use power to improve their positionä (Mental Help Net).Ê Where girls on the other hand are trying to develop a good relationship.
Itâs a competition vs. cooperation sort of ordeal for men vs. women.Ê Boys want to win at everything and girls quickly catch on to that concept because they want people to like them, they want to ãwinä the most friends.Ê When girls are just infants, they are more likely to recognize a face and become more responsive than boy infants do.Ê As these infants grow up, studies have shown boys to be more distractible, having a shorter attention span (which greatly reflects handling a relationship in the future), and there are also differences in intellectualism.Ê Studies have shown girls to get better grades, which could result in lowering the self-esteem level in boys.
Itâs interesting where these gender roles come from.Ê Does it start from our parents?Ê Are they the ones that influence us in how we act and feel?Ê ãOur parents start teaching us our roles shortly after birth, e.g. boys are cuddled, kissed, and stroked less than girls while girls are less often tossed and handled roughly. In playing with their infants, mothers mirror the young child's expressed emotions. But mothers play down the boy's emotions (in order to keep the boys less excited) while they reflect the baby girl's expressions accurately. Could this possibly be an early cause of adolescent boys denying emotional experiences and not telling others how they feel?ä (Mental Help Net).
B. Initial Reaction
As soon as I came across this site, I knew it would definitely be a plus in my search for developmental differences.Ê I know growing up, parents do play a major role in influencing how we are ãsupposeä to act.Ê And maybe unconsciously through the little things they do, like cuddling a girl more or tossing a boy around more, does the trick in influencing who we are for the rest of our lives.Ê I came across many sites like this before and I wasnât sure if it would apply specifically to developmental at first, until I read on, then I was sure.
What interested me about
this site was the way it was set-up flowing smoothly from one topic to the
next.Ê Some of the ideas that came up
upon reading this article were very unfamiliar to me.Ê I would never of known that girls are more responsive and their
familiarity is more alert than boys are when seeing new faces.Ê Just from skimming it at first, allowed me
to understand that this article would make a perfect contribution to my
research.Ê There were a lot of other
important issues that applied to other parts of my research as well.
C. ÊOpinion
I agree with this site completely.Ê Because of the roles that society has so conveniently placed on women and men, we donât even realize sometimes, that as parents we reflect those roles on to our kids in how we handle them.Ê We donât realize that it will eventually have an ultimate effect on how they will handle situations, situations especially in opposite-sex relationships, later on in their future.Ê I only wish there were more sites like this for other people to learn from.
There was also a section
on conversations between men and women and how both can go away from the
conversation with completely different reactions of what just happened.Ê ãWomen start more conversations than men,
ask more questions, attempt to put the other person at ease more, are more
supportive of the talker, and generally take more responsibility for the
overall social situation. These are valuable, commendable skills. Men not only
change the topic more but they do 95% of the interrupting of women in
mixed companyä (Mental Help Net).Ê I
thought that was very important, vital information to learn about.
D. Process
Going about finding this site was a little difficult at first.Ê I typed in ãdevelopmental differences in men and women relationshipsä while searching on the yahoo search engine.Ê I came up with a lot of misleading sites that had really nothing to do with anything at all!Ê I continued my search and thought Iâd try just using the words ãdevelopmental men womenä and I came up with another huge list of sites to check out.Ê Again I went through some random sites that seemed to catch my eye and came across quite a few duds until finally I hit one I liked.
I found the site:
competition and feeling
superior to others, gender differences - psychological self-help
Itâs a pretty informative
site that had a ton of details that could apply anywhere in my research.Ê I felt the most useful it would be, would be
in the developmental category, since I was having a little trouble finding just
the right site which would do this category justice.Ê Again, itâs not an entire site devoted to just the issue of
developmental differences, but again little does say a lot in this case.
Conclusion:
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Many
differences arise between a man and a woman when it comes to handling
relationships.Ê I have attempted to show
you the biological, the physiological, the psychological, the social and the
developmental differences that I saw fit to discuss for my annotated
bibliography.Ê After doing this report,
I hope to have helped you realize that when youâre in a relationship with
someone of the opposite sex, differences will occur and it is important to not
only be aware of them, but to be able to do something about it as well.
References:
Badalamenti, Anthony.Ê Success FAQs on Singles, Dating & Relationships.
http://www.successways.com/pagmen.html
F.E.A.S.T. Ministries.Ê Introduction: Men & Women.
http://www.geocities.com/traviscase/FEAST/FEAST_Introduction.html
Mental Health Net. Competition and Feeling Superior
to Others: Gender Differences http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap9/chap9o.htm
Munoz, Rachel.Ê
Stress-trogen.
http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/DB/issues/97/10.22/news.stress.html
Newman, Thomas.Ê
Power and Love: Power issues in intimate relationships.
http://www.powerandlove.com/power/power_n_love/for_printing.html
Smalley, Norma.Ê
The Relationship Center.
http://smalley.gospelcom.net/articles/marriage/normaspk.htm
Topic 2
How people deal with sick
pets or pets that get old and no longer function normally
Introduction:
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Many people who have the chance to have a pet at some point of their life realize what a special bond the animal and themselves can create together.Ê The bond between the two is so real and so defined; it is as if the bond is as tight as a human bond.Ê When dealing with death of a close one, it is sometimes so difficult that one can fall into depression with ease.Ê It is the same with the loss of a close pet or being in the process of losing your pet.Ê Some people treat their pets as a human part of their family.Ê It is only natural to react in the same way with something so tragic as terminally ill or death should occur.Ê But others may not have a such a strong bond and that may truly differ in how someone of that nature would react to a sick and dying pet.
I.Ê A Member of the Family
A.
Summary
ãPeople care for pets better than themselves,' says Ogilvie, a cancer specialist at the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences at Colorado State Universityä (Payne).Ê Because of the undeniably strong bond between human and animal, advances in pet healthcare have taken a new rise.Ê Any problem that may happen to a human can now be treated to an animal now as well, except for maybe heart transplant.Ê But it wonât be long before that will be able to happen.Ê Animals seem to get even better care than humans even with their fancy hospitals and private veterinarians.
ãâPeople turn to
animals for companionship, protection and affection,â says Ogilvie.
âIn return,â he adds, Îanimals give unconditional love and owners go to any
lengths and expense to keep them aliveâä (Payne).Ê An interesting note the author made was that people who own pets
tend to have lower blood pressure and less accounts of stress.Ê Also as the rise in possible treatments for
our pets exist, so do the rising cost in paying for those treatments.
B.
Initial Reaction
Iâm not at all surprised by the reaction of people who want to help their pets with whatever means possible.Ê Money is not an issue for some of these loving pet owners.Ê Though some people may have to scrounge around or even pick up pet insurance, they will do so, at any means necessary for their ãmember of the familyä.Ê Thereâs even pet acupuncture and one of the doctors said 85% of her patients show improvement.Ê Pets are a big part of a lot of peopleâs lives and grow to become so close; one couldnât even bear to live without them.
I was pretty amazed with all the technological advances made in pet healthcare.Ê This site interested me because one day I may have to deal with a sick pet myself.Ê I recently got a puppy.Ê Heâs only four months now, but I know that he will not live forever and I know that circumstances could occur where my dog could possibly get sick and Iâd like to be prepared for such a situation beforehand, if in case, tragedy should occur and it just might be too late.
C.
Opinion
I agree completely with this site.Ê Pets definitely matter and I am one of those that will go to extreme measures to ensure my pet has the best medical care.Ê Itâs pretty unbelievable how a pet can grow to be a member of your own family.Ê Itâs kind of neat how theyâre so humanlike.Ê Have you ever watched your pet before?÷Especially a dog.Ê Dogs have this incredible likeness to humans, itâs unimaginable.Ê How can someone resist those puppy dog eyes?Ê How could one ever consider giving it up or putting it to sleep?
When someone first decides to bring a pet into their home, theyâre likely to be a pretty big pet lover.Ê Sometimes people, children especially, donât realize all the responsibilities that go into taking care of pets.Ê Theyâve got to be fed, have water, taken for walks.Ê Dogs need exercise too!Ê And they need to be played with.Ê They strive to make their owner happy and care so much to get the attention of their owner.Ê Some pets can be a little temperamental, but so can kids!Ê Would you give your kid away if they wouldnât stop acting up??Ê I only hope that no one would give up that easily on their little friend.
D.
Process
For this first site, I used the yahoo search engine and searched for the words ãsick pets like familyä.Ê This was a pretty easy site to find.Ê Quite a few sites came up and after about just a few quick skims on unrelated sites I came across the following site.
http://www.canoe.ca/LifewiseFamilyPets00/0425_friend.html
This site I felt was very useful in the category of pets being a member of the family because it shows how at whatever measure is needed for pets people will do so.Ê I anticipated this being a very easy subtopic to find, as most pet owners do feel the same about their pets.Ê They love them like family.
II. Support Groups
A.
Summary
This site is a ton of links that can help someone who is in the process of dealing with a sick pet.Ê This site is for someone who has tried all means possible to do what they can to give the medical needs necessary for their pet.Ê Either they can no longer afford to pay the bills anymore for their sick pet or that they were told by doctors that their pet is just so sick, thereâs nothing more that can be done.Ê Which is the same scenario that can happen to a human being.
People going through an ordeal like this may not be able to handle it on their own.Ê Family and friends who werenât as attached to the pet as the specific pet owner may be helpful in trying to get the pet owner to grieve for their pet, but sometimes itâs jus not enough, as in with humans.Ê People can fall into depression, where they may actually need to seek professional help.Ê There was one site from the links in particular that I found to be very useful.Ê The site in particular is Petloss.com.Ê Itâs a grief support website that will truly help with anyone dealing with a loss.
B.
Initial Reaction
I found this site to be very useful because at one point of a petâs life, theyâre going to get sick from either old age or they may catch some sort of disease that will leave them terminally ill.Ê I liked the site and was interested in it for my own personal reasons.Ê The thing that caught my attention was the soft, calming music that was playing in the background.Ê But if I had my speakers off, I actually wouldnât of been able to enjoy that.Ê
Itâs a site of links.Ê I wasnât too sure if that would actually be an appropriate site to use for a source, but I used it anyways.Ê I figured that this site offers a lot of different choices for people who are grieving a loss, who do need the support.Ê There are a lot of places out there that can help someone who is going through this kind of hard time and Iâm happy that I can make it available for anyone who is in need of it.
C.
Opinion
I agree with every aspect of the site.Ê I believe in the site and all its goals itâs trying to achieve.Ê No one needs to go through a loss or dealing with someone close to him or her who are sick, alone.Ê Itâs a very trying and stressful time.Ê I wish there were more sites available.Ê I wish it was easier for people to find who donât know where to turn to.
People need to know that itâs okay to grieve for their pet.Ê Itâs perfectly healthy and nothing at all wrong with it.Ê Some people get the feelings from others, who probably never experienced taking care of a pet before, that theyâre weird if theyâre sad because their pet is sick or dying. ÊI completely disagree with that.Ê Itâs harmful to the people themselves, I believe, to not grieve.Ê I think only a person who actually has that special bond a pet brings to him or her, will they ever truly understand how important it is to grieve.
Ê
D.
Process
To find this site, I again used the search engine yahoo.Ê I looked up the words ãdealing with sick petsä and a lot of sites came up.Ê They all seemed pretty useful and helpful, but I wanted to be able to find one that would have it all.Ê I came across a site full of links.
http://healing.about.com/cs/petcare_support/
Upon checking out the links on this site, I found it to be the best possible source to use for my report.Ê I liked what each of the sites had to offer.Ê They all showed great concern and care for people who are going such a terrible time in their life÷and it is indeed a terrible time for them.
III. Euthanasia
A.
Summary
This site deals mainly with the decision
about whether or not you should put your pet to sleep.Ê The main reason why people would feel the
need to do something like that would be because their pet is sick and theyâve
tried everything humanly possible to get the help their pet needs.Ê They want to put their pet out of the pain
theyâve been feeling.Ê They canât take
seeing their pet hurting, as is Iâm sure as painful as seeing a loved one like that
as well.
There are choices that lead up to
euthanasia.Ê There are pills that the
pet can take to relieve them of the pain and when their time comes, theyâll be
able to feel a painless death.Ê But sometimes,
some people feel that prolonging the petâs life might be hurting them.Ê The pet might be more at ease once itâs done,
rather than trying to hold on.Ê They might
just want the best to be made of their last moments of their life.
B.
Initial
Reaction
I know for humans, there is no doubt in my
mind that I would ever agree to euthanasia, mercy killing.Ê Because that is what it exactly is÷killing·
murder.Ê I know it may seem a little hypocritical,
but for pets Iâm not so sure Iâd be so confident in not putting a pet to sleep.Ê Iâm a little undecided on that part as of now.Ê But being that I do own a pet, it may well
be a different story when the time comes around for me to have to make a
decision like that.
ãMany people believe we treat our pets more humanely in this society that
we treat peopleä (Robbins).Ê Thatâs an interesting
take on this whole ordeal, I think.Ê I
also believe there are a lot of people out there who are completely
opposite.Ê Some people think itâs
ridiculous to even get so attached to their pet as the way most people do.Ê What interested me the most about this site
was the helpful information laid out, making it very important that people
still will go through the grieving process.
Ê
C.
Opinion
My own personal reaction to this site and the
topic overall is the same as my initial reaction.Ê I do agree with the fact that the author is making it available for
people who do come down to that final decision of euthanasia.Ê What I wonât agree with is if people decide
to put a pet to sleep because of reasons such as they canât afford the pet
anymore or the pet has tendencies of repetitive behavioral problems like constant
biting or they canât potty-train them.Ê
After looking at other sites and debating
whether or not I would agree with what the site had to offer, I still come to a
hard, undecided decision.Ê I canât surely
and confidently say that I would agree with euthanasia under specific circumstances,
until I can personally relate to it.Ê Itâs
too much of a painful situation that it surely is something that I can wait
until if it really needs to come down to it, for me to decide.
D.
Process
I looked on yahooâs search engine for ãpet
euthanasiaä.Ê A lot of sites came up and
a lot were very useful and applied to do this part of my report.Ê The difficult part wasnât necessarily
finding a site, it was more so narrowing down which one I was going to use.Ê I looked at a number of sites until finally I
picked the following site.
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/death_and_dying/49135
Iâm not sure if this site is necessarily the
best for my report, but after looking at all the other sites, they all pretty much
gave all the same information.Ê So there
wasnât too much process in going through which site to use, it was a more so
matter of process of elimination÷which one is more easier to follow, which one
felt more caring in a sense.Ê That was
when I decided to come to ãConsidering Your Options: Pet Euthanasiaä.
IV. Giving Up and Giving Away
A.
Summary
This site deals with people who just are not
able to care for a sick pet anymore.Ê They
might not be able to afford it or they just might not be able to handle the
pains of dealing with a sick pet.Ê It also
has to deal with other reasons why people might give up their pets because of behavioral
problems, housing problems, and even health problems for family members making
it difficult for them to breathe because of pet dandruff, which could be a very
serious problem.
The site suggests the best place would be an
animal shelter.Ê They lay out important
guidelines that one should follow if they go ahead and decide to find a new home
for their pet, on their own.Ê They made
it very known that if your pet is sick, that being the reason youâre trying to
find him a new home, that one should be very well aware, itâs going to be very
difficult to find a suitable home.Ê The whole
process can be very time-consuming and difficult.
B.
Initial
Reaction
My initial reaction to this site wasnât a very
positive one.Ê Though I do believe, it
is better if theyâre not willing to put the effort into helping the pet. ÊI think that people should consider issues
such as these, before they actually pursue having a pet as part of the family÷because
that is what a pet is÷one of the family.
I was interested by this site because this is
a real option that some people choose to do.Ê
Some people just canât go through the heartbreak of losing a pet,
especially if children are involved.Ê
But like I said before, if one is going to have a pet, they should have
realized that a situation such as a sick pet might arise.Ê Unfortunately though, it is possible that a
pet can get sick early on in his life with his family and it came so
unexpectantly that they didnât even bother to talk over the possible situations
with the entire family.
C.
Opinion
My opinion on the whole thing is that giving
up a pet might be the best solution if itâs terminally-ill and you know youâre not
even going to give the slightest effort.Ê
But as I had said before too, just as a teenage mother gets pregnant and
decides to give it up, they get the whole speech of taking responsibility.Ê I believe owning a pet comes with
responsibilities, not only being sure theyâre fed.Ê Pets are living and breathing.Ê
In my own personal opinion, they deserve the same kind of attention and
love as would a human.
I still stress no on should even bother
owning a pet if they donât realize something like sickness or death could ever
occur.Ê Its just ignorance and I fully
disagree with that. ÊAs a last resort, I
think people should come to this decision.Ê
I think it will just be more painful for the sick pet.Ê Theyâll have to adjust to a new home and
they shouldnât have to be going through something like that without the people
who have been there for it before they were sick.Ê I think itâll just make the pet more depressed.Ê I donât think there are a lot of people,
besides organizations, that would want to take on dealing with the issues of a
new pet.
D.
Process
This was a much more difficult topic to
find.Ê I looked on the yahoo search
engine. ÊHowever, I had to try a number
of different words to find this site.Ê I
tried looking for ãgiving up a sick petä and was very unsuccessful in my
results.Ê I decided to cut it down and
hope that by making it more broad I would be able to find something more
specific.Ê This time I tried looking up ãgiving
up a petä.Ê More unsuccessful tries were
returned to me.Ê I went through the first
couple of pages and right at the end I found ãGiving-Up A Petä.Ê
http://mesquiteconnection.tripod.com/petplacers/id5.html
I think the process took so long because I think
not too many people opt for this choice when it comes to a sick pet.Ê Although there are quite a few out there who
would, unfortunately.Ê Itâs a pretty useful
site and it does help in trying to make someone reconsider doing so.Ê The suggestion of euthanasia even came up as
well.
Ê
V. Replacing with a New Pet
A.
Summary
This site was a wonderful site for those who
have lost a pet and are looking for new comfort.Ê But the question is, how long should they wait??Ê It has been widely said for years after
years that as soon as you go through a terrible ordeal as losing a pet, go and
get a new one.Ê The new pet will help in
taking the pain away.Ê But will it
really??Ê Replacing a pet too fast can
be damaging.Ê When someone loses a
husband or wife, they need the time to grieve and when they feel it is the
right time to get back out there and date again, they will.Ê But I donât know of any loving person, who
could do it as fast as they lose the person.
The site wants to be sure you realize that ãthe time to obtain a new pet is when you have worked through your grief sufficiently to be confident that you can look forward to new relationships, rather than backward at your lossä (Allen).Ê The site offers suggestions in order to make the transition of bringing a new pet into your home easier and more rewarding for everyone involved, including the new pet.Ê Losing a pet to an illness means itâs important for one to clean up the house and all the belongings of your lossed pet so that the new pet wonât get sick too. They also offer another site by the author that will help someone who is coping with the loss of a pet.
B.
Initial
Reaction
Well, at first I wasnât too sure if I liked
the idea of replacing a pet.Ê Itâs like trying
to replace your husband or wife or father or mother.Ê How can someone really do that?Ê
But I guess if someone goes through the whole grieving process, then
maybe when he or she are ready they will be able to handle a new pet in their
home.Ê But I wouldnât like it if itâs just
because the person is so sad, they want to take away the pain÷because it really
wonât.
I was interested by this site because I really
wondered how soon would be okay to get a new pet if you lose your pet to a
disease or old age or whatever it may be.Ê
Itâs important to understand all aspects of raising a pet, even the hard
to grasp death issues.Ê I know a lot of
people think that in order to make someone feel better when going through a
loss of someone is to give them something new to love.Ê When people lose a family member, some
people even suggest getting a pet, but will that really help? Or is that just
replacing his or her pain with something comforting for the moment, while at the
same time, keeping the personâs feelings kept hidden inside?
C.
Opinion
I agree completely with this site.Ê When the time is completely and surely
right, a new pet does no harm.Ê But it is
important to take that time to grieve first.Ê
When I was thinking of the different subtopics for this section of my
report, I had a hard time coming up with five.Ê
In fact, I had to ask someone what they would suggest I research on.Ê I never really considered replacing your pet
in order to get over your pet that you just lost.Ê Maybe itâs the words of ãreplacingä that I was bothered by
because after reading this site, Iâm not really bothered by it anymore.
Just as no one could ever forget their father
or mother or anyone whom they loved that has passed on, Iâm very sure that no
one who has lost a pet could easily forget them either.Ê But such is life.Ê And it does no good dwelling on the inevitable.Ê Itâs okay to grieve, and once you do, itâs also
important to realize you still have a life to live and itâs okay if the
companionship of a new little friend enters your life÷just as long as you have
settled your feelings over the pet you loss.Ê
No one should feel guilty, theyâre just getting on with their lives.
D.
Process
I amazingly had absolutely no trouble finding
this site.Ê I searched yahoo and entered
ãgetting a new petä.Ê The first site
that was returned to me, I clicked on and I was very satisfied that I didnât
even bother to check out any other sites!Ê
I found the following site:
http://www.pet-loss.net/newpet.html
I loved everything about the site because it
had to do exactly with what I was looking for.Ê
It summed all the information up perfectly and transited smoothly.Ê Another more detailed site was offered by
the same author, which I feel would be very useful to check out as well too.
Conclusion:
ÊÊÊÊ Losing a pet
or going through handling the sickness or old age of a pet is a terrible
ordeal. ÊNobody wants to go through it,
but itâs a fact of life, as in any of our human loved ones.Ê There are many different ways people handle
this type of situation.Ê I have shared
with you some of my thoughts on what I believe to be the major ways people
cope.Ê I hope that the information I have
found would be able to help any of you readers out there who unfortunately are
in this kind of position.Ê I hope you
read through all the different processes and choose wisely which approach youâd
use.Ê I believe a pet should be given
any and every consideration as would a human.
References:
Allen, Moira.Ê How Soon Should You Get a New Pet?
http://www.pet-loss.net/newpet.html
Holistic Healing.Ê Human Support Links to our Dying Animals and Sick Pets.
http://healing.about.com/cs/petcare_support/
Payne, Steve.Ê Pets Matter: The Human Animal: A Petâs Best Friend.
http://www.canoe.ca/LifewiseFamilyPets00/0425_friend.html
Pet Placers.Ê Giving-Up A Pet.
http://mesquiteconnection.tripod.com/petplacers/id5.html
Robins, Teresa.Ê Considering Your Options: Pet Euthanasia.
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/death_and_dying/49135
