Acquiring Cyberspace Citizenship:
The Quest

I was supposed to rate each session from a -3(bad experience) to a +3(good experience) in five different areas ranging from stressful-pleasant to discouraging-hopeful. As you will see, my experiences varied as the semester went on. The number highlighted reflects my experience on that given day.

On this particular day my session was quite enjoyable. I took a class that required the use of e-mail so I kind of knew what I was doing. I actually completed an assignment without any real difficulty. As a result I felt a slight sense of pleasure, satisfaction, value, clarity, and hope. I thought to myself, "Wow-I actually have a chance to pass this class!" I was so excited and filled with enthusiasm. This feeling of elation soon turned for the worse as you can see from my next entry.

Here is where all my nightmares began. I was so lost I spent at least two hours doing nothing. Maybe I could consider it time learning not what to do, but I was still going nuts. I could not seem to grasp the terminologies used in the instructions. Transfering data from here to there seemed impossible to me. I would do something and create more headaches for myself. The level of stress I felt that day is evident. Accompanying my high level of stress was a sense of dissatisfaction, confusion, and discouragement. I did feel like my time was wasted, but like I said earlier, it was actually learning time. My sessions grew even worse if you can imagine that.

As you can see I was still trying to complete Part 8 & 9. It was due on the 12th, but I still was encountering mass levels of stress, dissatisfaction, confusion, and discouragement. Even my rating on wasted-valuable went lower. I was really beginning to feel hopeless. I think I felt this way because I was totally computer illiterate when it came to the internet. I tried reading the pamphlets and dictionary but I still could not understand what they were trying to say. I needed a dictionary to help explain the dictionary itself. I did not want to give up so I stayed at the computer lab for three hours. During the next session, something happend for the better.

"Let there be light!" This is how I felt during this particular session. A friend explained to me in lamens terms how to complete Part 8 & 9. After his 10 minutes of help, I finally understood how to create files and upload them. The ratings for that day exemplify how I felt. The session was pleasurable-I walked out of the lab with a smile on my face, satisfying- I felt like I actually did something that day, valuable-I learned a great deal, clarifying-I finally understood what I was doing, and hopeful-It restored a little of the enthusiasm I had lost. Unfortunately, the rollercoaster ride must go on.

"Let there be darkness...again." Once again my computer session was filled with high stress, dissatisfaction, confusion, and discouragement. I even felt like my time was a little wasted. I felt like this because I did not understand the HTML language. In order to do the assignment, I needed to know how to write and comprehend HTML. I spent hours trying to figure out what did what and why. I felt like this even after reading the pamphlets again. I just could not grasp the concepts. Is there hope?

Well after a few hours of trial and error, I learned how to use HTML. I started off this day feeling stressful, but as the day went on, my feelings changed. The more I tried and failed, then succeeded, the more I felt satisfied with my work. At the end of the day I rated each category high. My stress level reduced and my levels of satisfaction, value, clarity, and hope increased. I did not rate a +3 for hopeful because I knew there were problems still out there for me to encounter. This was a very important day because the rest of the assignments depended on whether or not I could learn to use HTML.

I enjoyed this computer session. I used Dejanews and read some entries. I did feel much stress because I kind of knew what I was doing. I had fun using Dejanews and reading the reports of past generations. The only stress I felt was a result of this assignment being late. I took so much time trying to do the other assignments, I fell way behind. But I still felt relatively satisfied with the work I did and felt like my time on the computer was valuable because I got things done. I am finding that the assignments, although growing longer, are becoming more enjoyable. Once again my stress level is reducing and my level of satisfaction, value, clarity, and hope are all increasing as a result of understanding what to do.

This was another fruitful day. I entered the lab with little stress, thus the day turned out to be quite pleasant. I immediately went to work on my Report 1 with a feeling of value and clarity. When the session was over, I had a great sense of satisfaction and value because I did a lot of work. I also felt a renewed sense of direction, subsequently the session was full of clarity. This was indeed a good day!

A nice day on the beach. That is how I felt on this particular day. I usually spend my days off at the beach, enjoying the sun and surf. I feel the least amount of stress and the highest sense of satisfaction, hope, and clarity while in the water. I find it quite astonishing to relate that feeling to how I felt while in front of the computer for three and a half hours. I was actually enjoying myself. Once I continued writing my report, I could not stop. The words and ideas kept plastering themselves on the computer screen. At the end of the session, I was embraced by a great sense of satisfaction, pleasure, and hope. I soon started to notice my alienship changing into citizenship.

As you can see from the graph above, there is indeed an overall pattern pertaining to my computer sessions. First of all, I noticed that as the semester progressed, my sessions became increasingly positive. I began the semester on a more less negative note. But, in sessions 6-9, my ratings turned extremely positive.

I attribute this pattern to my attitude on that given day. I noticed that when I went to the computer lab with a negative attitude, the session was not that successful in terms of hope, value, clarity, and satisfaction. Conversely, when I had a positive attitude the session was a success.

Getting to know the Web was surely an emotional adventure. It felt like a roller coaster ride, creeping to reach the top only to fall quickly back to the bottom. There were also many twists and turns which made me want to close my eyes and wish that it was over.

I have to say that I was terrified of getting to know the Web, just as I was terrified of riding rollercoasters. The key word here is "was", meaning past tense. In order to take the plunge into Internet enlightenment I believe that a person needs to first-overcome his/her fear of the Web(Technophobia), second-be open minded: try new things , and last- practice perserverance. If a person can embody these three characteristics, then becoming a regular and lifelong Cyber-citizen is attainable.

Overcoming Technophobia takes a lot of dedication and PERSERVERANCE. There were days when I wanted to throw the computer out the window. I felt a sense of inferiority because I could not grasp the concept of HTML. I would do things that created more problems. This sense of inferiority created Technophobia in my psyche. I was actually afraid to go to class because I did not know what I was doing. Luckily, I did not give up and eventually I got over my Cyber-fears.

How did I do this? I conquered Technophobia by way of positive reinforcement. If I went to the lab with a clear mind and made some progress, I treated myself to 9 holes of golf or something else that I enjoy doing. By rewarding myself I was able to alleviate my stress and subsequently be ready for the next session. This was the only method I could think of that would work. Eventually I my fears decreased and I also became a decent golfer:)Ha Ha!

In addition, having an open-mind helped me overcome some of my frustrations. I would think to myself, "Okay, that's not working, so let's try something else." Utilizing this type of thought process really extended my computer sessions. If I didn't have an open-mind, my sessions would have lasted only 15 minutes.

Furthermore, a Cyber-infant definitely needs to practice perservernce, without it, they will certainly perish. For me, the challenge of not giving up provided the sparks I needed to move upward along the chains of my ride. I have to admit that the rush I get from a good day at the computer feels something like getting off a rollercoaster; a love/hate sensation. I hated the ups and downs, but loved the overall feeling.

Where do I begin? I have gained so much from doing this report. I guess one of the most important things I gained from this report is that I got to see my progress from beginning to end. I got to see how the three domains of behavior all changed. My Affective domain progressed throughout the semester. I went from feeling totally inadequate, in terms of Internet use, to feeling quite adequate. I overcame my fears of technophobia and that allowed me to feel positive about furthering my Internet education.

I noticed that my Cognitive domain changed. I would often think of giving up or throwing the computer out of a window. But as the semester wore on, my train of thought shifted toward thinking of new ways to find solutions. I would think with a more positive outllok. Last, I noticed that my Sensori-motor domain changed. I would often swear and cuss because I did not know what I was doing. As time went on, I tried looking for the answers constructively, with a more postive attitude. This allowed me to move forward instead of backward or laterally. Instead of running from a problem, like usual, I now tried to take it on head first.

I also gained a better appreciation for the Generational Curriculum. I found it very important to read the reports of past generations. The similarities in feelings between myself and them served as a boost of energy. Whenever I found myself down and out, I would just think of somebody from a past generation and think to my, "They encountered the same difficulties and made it through, so don't give up!"

Maybe most importantly, I realized that autonomously learning is difficult at first, but with proper guidance and personal initiative, it can be the most prosperous experience of a lifetime. I had such a hard time at the beginning of the semester coping with all the new terminologies and commands, I thought I was going to go crazy. But, by practicing perserverence, I was able to learn so much not only about the internet, but more importantly, about myself as an individual. Believe it or not, attaining Cyber-space Citizenship has been one of the most life learning experiences I have ever had.

First, and foremost, I would have to say Don't Give Up! Once you have given up, it will be that much harder to succeed. I had the mentality of giving up during the first few weeks of class, and where did that get me...nowhere! If you encounter a problem or don't understand something, step away from the computer and collect yourself for a minute or two. Keep your mind open to more than one solution to a problem. There will be times when the obvious answer is actually your worst nightmare.

I would also like to encourage future generations to make use of the DRA and read the reports of past generations. Sometimes reading about others failures helps you ease your own pains and frustrations. Sometimes past generations can also help you solve a problem you have because they've already experienced it.

In the end, if you practice perserverence, keep an open mind, and keep a positive attitude about your work, than hopefully you'll be able to acquire Cyber-space Citizenship. Remember, "May the force be with you!"