Carolyn Agmata from generation 9 shared with us an occurrence she had while on the road. She participated in a personal make over for one of her reports. She documented and kept watch of all her feelings. She tells her readers that she doesn't usually drive to UH, but did strictly for this report. She mentions that there was this red cherokee jeep that started tailgating her. She is clearly very angry and mentions that she is clenching her fists because she is so angry. She says that it takes all of her might not to throw him the middle finger. Throughout her whole sharing experience she is clearly irritated and upset. She says that she is in the carpool lane and is ALREADY GOING 10 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT, What else does this person want from her. She keeps swearing and feels like this other vehicle is harassing her. Why doesn't he go to the other lane, why should it be her that has to move. She doesn't understand the logic in that. She feels that if the other driver thinks she is too slow, they should scoot to the side and pass her. She is so irritated that REVENGE is on her mind. She says that she had to make a stop and she saw that the red jeep had to break hard and that was extremely satisfying to her. It gave her a good laugh. She giggled the whole way to school after that.
I believe that in Carolyn's eyes this was clear tailgating and perhaps it was. She later tries to rationalize another driver that is driving too close to her, by saying that he is probably running late, but it still irritates her. I think that what Carolyn was going through was very natural. By natural, I mean that is how a normal person would react towards somebody tailgating them. At least for someone that has not be trained to act otherwise. What I thought was unusual and probably also common, was that Ms. Agmata was clearly very frustrated and annoyed and people driving badly, people that were speeding and tailgating, but she also mentions that when she was late, she drove like a mad person, just to get to school in time. She was late for class, so that resulted in speeding.
Kristin Subia, generation 6, wrote her report on "How Drivers Communicate". She reminisces about a time when she was going to the mall to meet a friend and someone tailgated her. Kristin Subia gets very irritated and feels that this other driver just wants to BUG her and that is why the other driver is following so close. She also, like Carolyn Agmata feels that it is not up to her to move to the side, so the other person can pass. She feels that if the other driver thinks she is driving too slow, then they should take initiative and pass her. She is very irritated and decides to drive slower, so as to get them to pass her, but it doesn't work. Because she is driving slow, that causes the other car to make sudden stops and has to screech to a halt. She says that she has finally had it and decides to stick her hand out of the car and waves them to pass her. She is very cynical and says that sometimes, you need to tell other drivers what to do or they will never pass you.
I feel that it is difficult to say who was right or wrong in this situation, because I am only hearing one side of the story. However, irregardless of who is at fault, we should all try to be civil to each other. Easier said than done, I know, but we should try. Ms. Subia says that it is o.k. if someone is in a rush and needs to speed up, but she says that if you are in a hurry you should pass. She says that it is o.k. to overtake another vehicle, but don't be a jerk (her words) and make the other person move to accommodate you. She feels that it is up to the person that is in such a hurry to take initiative and move. I feel that Kristin Subia, as most of us do, probably need to be aware of our thoughts and feelings and be willing to modify our behavior if needed.
While surfing past the generations, I encountered Denise Tanaka's report where she openly admits that she is a tail gaiter. She says that she tailgates to PUNISH other drivers for doing what she feels are offenses towards her. If the other car is going too fast (faster than she is) then they are working against her. She feels that if she is already going 60 or 65 mph that that should be fast enough. She also gets very upset if other people are too slow (10 mph slower than she drives). She says that she can't help herself. Tailgating is an impulse for her. REVENGE is all that is in her mind if she feels that someone has done wrong towards her. Ms. Tanaka says she feels a sense of reward, if she has succeeded in making that other driver feel intimidated or uncomfortable.
Ms. Tanaka says she knows that she is wrong in her behavior and has tried to modify her behavior, but she can't help herself. It is in my opinion, that Ms. Tanaka needs extreme amounts of help. She really needs to modify her behavior. I feel that we all need to realize that we are not the only people out on the road. And our behavior towards each other not only affects us, but also other innocent bystanders. I believe that self-witnessing and self-modification should be a pre-requisite in drivers training classes. We should all try to view ourselves like others view us and then try to modify any behaviors that may put others in danger.
Aaron Takahashi, wrote a report on self assessment. He noted an occurrence when he was on his way home from UH and there was a lot of traffic. Viewing all this traffic and a sense of wanting to get home, might have encouraged his tailgating behavior. He says that he was following way to close to other vehicles for two reasons:
1) He did not want a traffic jam to occur, so he was just trying to keep up with the flow of traffic.
2) He did not want anyone to cut in front of him.
If you ask me these are both excuses not reasons. He is trying to justify his behavior, but fact of the matter, is he was putting himself first and the safety of everyone else last. The "Sucking Effect" is when somebody tailgates to prevent other drivers from entering your lane. This "Sucking effect" unfortunately happens all the time. Why? We should all be courteous and helpful towards each other, maybe in a PERFECT WORLD. Harmony is what we should all strive for in life. Don't you agree?
Jenca Guerra wrote a report on "Driving Personality Makeovers". Instead of saying that she is a tailgaiter, she says that she "follows too close". She mentions that all her life, people have commented on her bad habit, but that little has been done to modify it. She says that she does realize (now that she has taken this class) that she has a problem.
She wanted an accurate look at herself, so for the purpose of her report, she decided not to modify her behavior for the first trial run. She admits that she believes that she is the "head honcho" of the road. And, as such she wants everyone to accommodate her. This first trial run, she says that she got mad at everyone, drivers as well as pedestrians. She writes that at one point she is driving two seconds away from the other vehicle and other times she is one car or half a car's length away. During these occurrences, she is driving 60 mph. Clearly this is a DANGEROUS situation!
Ms. Guerra mentions that although she has tried modifying her behavior through self-witnessing, she has been somewhat unsuccessful. She is still feeling irritated and angry at the world. It is apparent that Ms. Guerra, like Ms. Tanaka, needs major modification of her behavior. How safe are we on the road? Let me tell you after reading these reports, I am scared to be out there.
Tailgating is most definitely a moral issue. People out there, on OUR roads are tailgating every day. These tailgaters are putting us all at risk. Our lives, our families' lives are in danger. How can we stop these people from victimizing innocent bystanders. I am not sure. I would like to say make people take self-witnessing and self-modification classes every time they need to renew driver licenses. Perhaps, this would help some. I say when they are renewing their drivers licenses because when they are first getting their licenses they go by the book, but with experience we all tend to change our driving habits. Is that good ? Is that bad? Who knows? Only we know, but we need a little bit of guidance and little bit of a push to really take a good look at ourselves.
Is tailgating fair and justifiable is you have been wronged on the road? Absolutely not! That kind of behavior is what gives fuel to road rage. If everyone out on the road is angry at each other and wants revenge, what will that do to us. It will create chaos and we would all be in danger. If you have been wronged on the road, I feel that we should try to be the bigger person and let it go. Again, easier said than done, I know. But, that is how things change, one step at a time.
I don't believe that I have ever tailgated anyone (not on purpose anyway). I wouldn't dream of doing it, because I don't want to put myself in harms way or my family. There have been times that I have felt "wrong" has been done towards me, but, I have never tailgated anyone to retaliate.
However, I have been the victim. One time, that I can really remember is when this little gray car came from behind me and was clearly very upset. I know that the driver was upset, because he kept "kissing my bumper" (Carolyn Agmata's term) and then sped up and got in front of me and braked really hard and then got behind me again and tailgated me again. I was scared out of my mind. I did not know what to do or how to react. I just knew that if I did anything to aggravate this driver, I could really become a VICTIM. So many things went through my mind at that point. I thought about my unborn child (I was pregnant at the time) and I thought about my husband. What if something would have happened to me? Frightened, that is what I was. I feared for my life. I don't know what possessed this man to pick me to tailgate and harass, but I did not want to be the recipient of this behavior.
I believe this action was very uncalled for and unnecessary. If a person is angry and feels like getting back at somebody they should go to a gym and work out their frustrations, but they should not be out driving and putting other people (strangers) in harms way/danger.
In conclusion, I believe that law enforcement agencies should really do their part to discourage tailgating. I believe that a lot of tailgaters don't get punished for their behavior and thus encourages them to continue acting the way that they do. I want all tailgaters to know that whatever reasons they think they have for tailgating it is not a good enough reason.
Future generations, I feel that you all can really learn about other people's behavior and about yourself, by observing everything surrounding you. Self witnessing and self modification is a great way to improve OUR surroundings. When we are out on the road, we should all remember that it is not just us out there on the roads. We need to be observant and courteous towards others. Our vehicles are not WEAPONS.
Future generations, I have to tell
you that this report required a lot of work. It was not easy trying
to find other peoples' tailgating experiences. And when I did find
people giving their experiences, some I did not find very interesting,
so I had to go back to step one. WARNING
you will need to put a lot of time into finding
information for this report. At least, I had to. I realized
that the varieties of drivers out there are enormous. I also realized
that we will never know what type of driver we will encounter, which is
why we need to be courteous to all. If you feel that someone is tailgating
you, accommodate them. Don't think of it as giving in to them, think
of it as taking the power and holding on to it. YOU
decided to move and nobody forced you.
It is your choice to keep peace on the road and that takes Power.