My QDC Report

An Attempt to Modify Driving Behavior

Self Witnessing Reports & Evaluations

SWR # 1 January 29, 2000 While driving the other day, I signaled to make a left turn and stopped, waiting for a gap in the traffic. There is an intersection with a light about 5 or 6 car-lengths prior to the street I was trying to turn onto. When the light at that intersection turned red, I assumed I would have an opportunity to turn. The oncoming cars were slowly lining up at the stoplight. Instead of allowing me to turn, the oncoming cars blocked the entire intersection. This highly annoyed me. I can understand that many people have other thoughts occupying their minds while driving and perhaps these drivers weren't paying attention to the situation, but I was still angry. I would have appreciated it, if the drivers had waved or nodded to acknowledge the mistake instead of staring straight ahead like there was no problem. I know this doesn't seem like a major problem or anything to get upset about, but I was forced to wait so these drivers could advance 15 feet. And on top of that I was blocking cars behind me from continuing on their journey. I'm really not the type of person to take actions on any of these feelings. I simply waited for a short time and soon enough there was a gap in traffic that allowed me turn. I grumbled to myself about how stupid the other drivers were for a few minutes and then I was fine. I continued on my journey without another incident of stupidity. Evaluation # 1 This was my first experience with writing an SWR. I was having difficulty trying to convey the situation accurately enough for others to understand my frustration. This was the first time I actually stopped and examined my behavior and my mental state while driving. I had not thought much about my behavior prior to this exercise. I was aware that I became a bit frustrated while driving but I had no idea that it was a problem or that it was correctible. I also wasn't really planning to use this forum as a method for change, but rather a method to vent my frustration. I believed that at the very least, being able to complain to others and have them relate to my feelings would help me deal with that hostility in a more appropriate manner.

SWR # 2 January 29, 2000 I was driving to my boyfriend's home on Wednesday night. I was on the H-1 Freeway driving in the right lane when out of no where this car comes zooming up behind me and starts tailing my car. I am the kind of person who gets a little self-conscious about my driving ability and assumed that I was going too slowly (I think that this relates to the TEE card dealing with paranoid thinking in exercise 1). I increased my speed above the posted limit, but the car continued to maintain a minimal distance between us. I began to get frustrated with the car behind me. It seemed that no matter how fast I drove, he still followed me too closely. I also began to wonder if I had accidentally cut this person off, or done something else to offend them. I couldn't remember doing anything and my frustration was growing. At first I entertained thoughts of slowing to a speed extremely lower than the limit or of braking quickly, but realized that those thoughts were very stupid and could cause serious damage. Luckily, my off ramp was the next one. I quickly moved to the next lane. Almost immediately, the car behind me, a black Lexus, zoomed ahead of me and began to tail the person in front of him. Upon seeing this I shook my head and laughed. I couldn't believe that I had become so self-conscious about my driving and worried that I had pissed this person off. After witnessing that, I simply assumed that the driver of the Lexus, is an inexperienced driver and that it had nothing to do with me. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe... Evaluation # 2 I remember this incident well. It was very characterstic of my mentality while driving. I always felt like my driving skill was being tested by others and I was very concerned that this driver was trying to tell me I had done something wrong. I also felt a great deal of anxiety due to the close proximity of the vehicles. I remember turning the volume down on my car stereo to allow for greater concentration while dealing with this situation. I'mnot really sure why, but I felt really concerned about this driver following me so closely. Perhaps, its because I had begun participating in this QDC and was more aware of road rage problems and the high number of aggressive driving situations that arise and was concerned this may become one of those statistics. I posted my SWR and was pleased to find a response later in the week. Tanthony's post (below) made me realize that my feelings concerning situations like this are not unique to myself. It also made me feel like I was justified in feeling this pressure to accelerate to accomodate this driver. tanthony 01/31/00 I too have been driving on the freeway when someone starts to drive very close behind me. You know, I wasn't in the fast lane, so it was not like I was supposed to be going very quickly. Normally I stay just above the speed limit so I wasn't going particularly slowly. I knew that I was doing all the right things but for some reason I felt that the person behind me must have felt I was doing something wrong. I guess the first thing I can think of to describe it is peer pressure. I felt like I had to speed up and this is what I end up doing in these situations. I never speed in excess (not since I got my speeding ticket 5 years ago and had to do 30 hours of community service) but I will pick up the pace just to alleviate the pressure that I perceive coming from behind me. I think some people just drive this way, constantly lurking behind people on the road. I really think we need to give each other space on the road. Looking in the rearview mirror and seeing someone very close behind me, makes me nervous. I think I am justified in feeling this way because they will not have enough time to slow down and not hit me even in a less than emergency braking situation. I think these drivers are too aggressive and I have got to quit being so passive. I think the best thing to do is to get out from in front of them.

SWR # 3 February 6, 2000 Of all the items listed on the competitive mental driving economy, I'd have to say the one that I am most aware of is whether someone prevented me from doing something. I am normally a pretty generous driver, typically not in any hurry, and more than willing to let people into my lane. This is not to say that I don't get frustrated when people change lanes in front of me and maintain a speed of 40 miles an hour on the freeway, because I do. But, I am not one of those people who weaves in and out of lanes to avoid waiting while a car makes a left turn, who actively seeks the faster lane, nor am I a driver who has to break the speed limit. With all that said, I guess I do get pretty annoyed when a driver won't let me change lanes or make a turn. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I would be a much happier driver if people were more considerate of other drivers. I feel like I'm always allowing people to change lanes or stopping to allow them to make a turn, why can't they be the same? Also, I don't know if this is just my own crazy perception or if others have noticed it as well, but I seem to notice that people are more likely to close the gap and not let me into their lane when I'm driving my own car, a Honda Civic. When I borrow my boyfriend's car, a Dodge Ram, there always seems to be someone willing to let me into the next lane. I also notice that people are more likely to cut me off or to merge into my lane when I drive my own car. I often feel that I am being taken advantage of, for instance three people will try to merge and no one offers any gesture of gratitude. I NEVER have this problem in the truck. Why is that? Evaluation # 3 This SWR deals with one of my biggest pet peeves -- inconsiderate drivers. I wrote this piece and didn't really stop to consider other perspectives. It is apparently me just venting my frustrations again. I was later able to realize that this just sounds like a bitch session and I need to consider why these drivers behave the way they do. Perhaps they are not aware of what I was trying to do and that their actions inhibit mine. I think more likely than not, people are just unaware of the situations. Each person is engaged in so many tasks while driving that it often becomes difficult to be observant of the other drivers. Just knowing this fact has helped me a great deal. I am less likely to believe that these inconsiderate acts are directed at me personally, but more so due to the other driver's unawareness. This knowledge allows me to brush off incidents rather than get frustrated and grouchy for minor inconviences. ABumanglag responded to my post and it seems he felt similarly. These posts always help to ease my frustration because I know that there are others who have similar problems and that I'm not alone in my anger. ABumanglag 02/08/00 2:29 AM You know, that's a good point that you bring up. I understand where you're coming from because I also get annoyed when people don't let me in. However, in my case, I also get annoyed when people don't let other drivers in. There are just some people out there who are so inconsiderate that they will not let you in no matter what. Now these are the kind of drivers that I can't stand. Not only are they being greedy with the road space, they might also cause accidents. Don't you agree that maybe our cars should be equipped with some tool to get back at these drivers? (That was a joke people...) Anyway, I don't think it really matters what kind of car you have. I used to work for a delivery company, and I had instances where I'd be driving a box truck and people still would not let me in. What could be wrong with these people? Don't they know what kind of damage a box truck can do to their puny cars? Nevertheless, maybe these people are doing this subconsciously without even realizing it.

SWR # 4 February 6, 2000 I answered the road rage tendency questionnaire and then had my sister evaluate my driving. According to my evaluation, I scored only 1 point in the every trip category, which was complaining to myself about other drivers or traffic (item number 1). I also checked 5 points that I do on some trips (items numbered 2,3,4,8,10) and 4 were checked in the never category (items numbered 5, 6, 7, 9). I asked my sister to evaluate me based on her experiences with me. She and I only differed on 2 points. She ranked item number 2 as something I do on every trip, while I marked it as something I do occasionally. She also ranked number 4 as something I never do, while I marked it as an occasional occurrence. Number 4 didn't bother me, but item 2, getting annoyed or irritated by some drivers, was a bit of a shock to me. I mean, I know I do it, but I didn't realize I do it all the time. When I voiced my opinion she replied by saying that my favorite phrase while driving is, "Oh my god, this f***ing idiot!" What can I say? I guess I'm not the mild mannered, easygoing person, I thought I was. And now that I am aware of this problem, hopefully I will be able to monitor it and attempt to control it. Evaluation # 4 This was my first real wake up call that I was a hostile driver. I knew that I became a little annoyed, but it never occured to me that I was annoyed all the time. Shizue responded to my post and said that he also realize he had some bad driving habbits he was unaware of. My sister's evaluation was a good start to modifying my behavior, although I must admit that I was a little shocked and embarrassed to hear her say those things about me. I really took this survey to heart and made a conscious effort to avoid these actions. Instead of immediately assuming the worst about another, I simply remind myself of this survey and how I don't want to be this hostile, nasty driver. As the semester has progressed I've noticed that I am less likely to engage in this behavior of cursing out other drivers to myself or my passengers. What I am really proud of is that my sister pointed out to me that she was aware of my new nonaggressive behavior while driving. shizue 02/06/00 11:59 PM I totally understand how you feel about not realizing that you do certain things while you're driving. Before I took this course I never realized how many bad driving habits I had also. I really thought I was a great driver and that there were just a lot of really bad other drivers out there. The good thing is that we are all becoming more aware of our habits and are therefore able to now take steps to change the bad habits to good ones. Thereby making the roads that much safer.

SWR # 5 February 28, 2000 After reviewing the two phases of the Driver's Threefold Self, I would have to say that I am definitely stuck in the first phase. Fortunately, I think I'm past the affective self, but am pretty wedged between the cognitive self and the sensori-motor self. I tend to have extremely critical thoughts of other drivers. Fortunately, I am far from the point of acting out my aggressions by physically assaulting other drivers or giving them the finger, but I am rather vocal to my passengers. After contemplating these ideas I began to realize that I'm also projecting onto other drivers. I think I project my feelings of inadequacy as a driver onto others. I also notice that I am less likely to verbally bash another driver when I'm alone - a fact, which I feel supports my belief of projection. It is my opinion that when I have a passenger my state of mind changes and I assume that the passenger is judging my driving skills. I think that sometimes this self-consciousness instigates my verbal assaults on others in an attempt to hide my own lack of ability behind the wheel. Evaluation # 5 This SWR was not too valuable to me in terms of self modification. It made me aware of my problem areas, but didn't really provide me with a place to go from there. I had no response from other members so I felt like I was really at a loss with this one. However, I was able to realize the problem about projecting my faults onto others. I think realizing this problem of projecting my inadequacies and the survey from SWR # 4, in which my sister so kindly pointed out that I'm always hostile and curse about other drivers, were the two motivating factors in my desire to stop verbally bashing other drivers. While this exercise was useful in pointing out some of my flaws it wasn't that effective in providing me with methods to change that behavior. I believe that the other exercises were much more useful and provocative in my quest to improve my emotional state while driving.

SWR # 6 February 28, 2000 Managing my anger in traffic seems to be quite an ordeal. Several of the suggestions provided by the TEE card seem to common sense ideas that should be easy to adhere to, but in reality they aren't. Of all the suggestions provided by the TEE card I think the one that would be the most beneficial to me is taking the time to question a person's motives for their actions. I do this currently, but the difference is I usually just assume the person is an idiot. I must learn to modify this thinking and think of more realistic possibilities for the driving styles I encounter on the road. Even the simple task of counting to 10 seems like something that would help me. This seems to be the most simple and probably the most efficient in calming my erratic behavior. I think these simple techniques are the best because they don't require too much behavior modification but could greatly improve my mental state of mind and ultimately improve my driving ability. Another idea that I like, but think would be too difficult to do would be keeping a driving record. It sounds like a very good idea in theory but I don't think that I would really be able to keep up with the task. I might do it for a few days if I were really diligent and forced myself to do it, but more than likely I would forget to do it. Evaluation # 6 The anger management methods provided in SWR #6 seemed helpful, but I wasn't too thrilled with trying to apply them to my life. I felt that it would take too much energy on my part and was a bit reluctant to implement them into my driving routine. However, it seems that one of them did stick with me. The simple tactic of questioning the motives of another driver was so simple yet something I had never done before. This has made a great impact on my emotional state while driving. I am more willing to ignore actions that had once irritated me. The concept has made me look at the situation from the standpoint of the other driver. Its made me more empathetic toward fellow drivers and less aggressive. I now know that I can't assume the person is stupid or a total moron because of a minor driving error. I have to take other possibilities into consideration before jumping to such an extreme conclusion. I received two reaction comments to this posting. One, from Tanthony, offered other suggestions like listening to music to help me maintain my anger. He was nice enough to point out that just because these suggestions offered by the TEE cards didn't work for me, it didn't mean I would be unable to find something that would. ShaunnaM also offered her opinion regarding this matter and said that while she may participate in these activities while attending class she is not very positive she will continue this behavior when its completed. I was inclined to believe her statement and thought this would more than likely apply to my driving behavior as well, but having completed all 10 exercises, I still find myself engaging in this simple tactic of questioning a driver's motivation. I believe this is one of the best methods on the list. tanthony 02/28/00 11:36 PM I'm sorry you have a tough time keeping your feelings under control. I'll bet before you took this class you really didn't mind that you automatically considered people idiots. Maybe you still don't. But anyway, none of the eight suggestions may really be right for you. I think it just comes down to making a conscious effort not to let emotions take over, however you may make that happen. In those times when you are able to keep control over yourself, just make note of what you did. I didn't strongly relate to any of the suggestions but what I like to do is listen to music, stay relaxed, and if I do get angry I tell myself that it is not worth my time. Through these efforts even bumper to bumper traffic doesn't seem quite so bad anymore. ShaunnaM 03/03/00 3:33 PM I agree that, although the suggestions make sense, it is difficult to live by them and apply them in every day life. I wonder if, after having finished this class, will I stick with some of the techniques that I have learned or practiced. I'm sure some things will stick, but others will soon be forgotten. It's seems like too much effort to be constantly thinking about different steps and methods every time I get in the car.

SWR # 7 March 1, 2000 My driving makeover really began with SWR #4 in which another person rates your driving. I was pretty shocked to realize that I am verbally aggressive behind the wheel. This was my first realization that I had a problem. I have made a conscious effort to remain calm and more aware of the situation rather than just blow up. For me this seems to be the biggest problem. I think it puts me in a negative mood as well as my passengers. I have been trying to maintain an awareness of other drivers and the situation, but it's a little difficult at times. The good thing is that I am trying. And my sister, the person who pointed out this bad behavior in SWR #4, noticed it yesterday while we were driving home. At an intersection a car made a right turn which situated him right in front of me. He then proceeded to slow down to approximately 14 miles an hour in a 35-MPH area. There were no cars behind me and I wondered why this person felt the need to enter my lane so immediately and then slow down. I simply stated, "Hmm...I wonder what this person is doing," rather than my usual "What the #$%@ is this idiot doing?" It was at this point that my sister commented that she has noticed I seem to be trying to modify my driving behavior. I know that I am far from perfect but I am pretty proud of my start! Evaluation # 7 This was probably my biggest accomplishment in this QDC forum -- to have someone else notice the modification of my emotional driving style. I received the most reactions to this SWR than any other. Most people, like Marissa_, were happy for my acheivement and offered words of encouragement. Shizue commented that my behavior is a model for my passengers and this made me realize that I am teaching my sister, who doesn't drive yet, this bad behavior. I hope that she can see my change and learn from my errors and not engage in this negative interaction with others. Blinking's comment expressed happiness for my new relaxed driving style, but also commented that he wasn't so adept at making these modifications to his own driving. He also commented that he believes venting is a good way to release the tension caused by driving and prefers to vent those aggressions rather than let them build up inside him. Jamesy69 also offered encouragement and reminded me to maintain consistency so I don't relapse and fall into my old driving behavior pattern. These comments were very helpful and made me more aware that others were actually involved in my desire to change my driving habbits and I wanted to continue to progress because of it. Marissa_ 03/03/00 11:41 PM Well done! I am glad to hear you are on your way to becoming a better driver. It helps to know what others think of the way we drive so we can try to change our bad habits. Miracles do not happen over night. Take it one step at a time. shizue 03/04/00 12:46 PM The great thing about your driving personality makeover is not only that you, yourself are a much safer driver and don't upset others on the road or your passengers, but also you are modeling great behavior for your sister. Hopefully, by seeing what a change your driving behavior has gone through and realizing that it is better to be more calm and in control, she too will want to take on those good driving traits. We sometimes don't realize what an influence our actions and behaviors have on others, especially those who look up to us and try to model our behaviors. blinking 03/04/00 6:41 PM It is very encouraging to hear that someone else is making gains in an area that I myself could use some help in. I tend to shovel out a few colorful metaphors at some drivers, and I do it to release some aggression. I do realize that it is not really a comfortable situation for my passenger(s), so I try to keep the metaphors clean...if anything. In my humble opinion, if it helps to restrain and diminish your anger and hostile feelings, then do say what you want. It is better to be a calm driver than a pent up one. jamesy69 03/04/00 6:58 PM I am very happy for your recent success and I hope you continue in your efforts in becoming a better driver. I know that changing a behavior is a hard thing to do because the behavior we want to change has become automatic in our everyday life. I think the key in changing our behavior is consistency. We can't just keep on changing our behavior on the way we feel that particular day but have to stick with a behavior that we want to portray everyday. I think this aspect is the hardest for me. Somedays I'll be really conscious of my driving and other days I could care less. I think once I develop a system where I will always be conscious of my behaviors while I'm driving will I see the greatest results. By doing this, not only do I create a safer environment for myself but for others as well.

SWR # 8 April 27, 2000 One of the most memorable incidents of road rage here in Hawaii was an incident which occurred a few years ago. It involved a teenage boy and an HPD officer. The tragic result was the death of Officer Miller. The two had engaged in several forms of aggressive driving until finally they pulled to the side of the road. There was a scuffle and Officer Miller fell over the H-1 viaduct and died. Gabriel Kealoha, a Kamehameha School senior, served some time in a detention home for Miller's death. This was one of the most serious and highly publicized incidents of road rage. There were other factors that attributed to the unfortunate death of Miller, alcohol being one, but it still could have been prevented had the two men been able to control their tempers and maintain calm attitudes. The two drivers began engaging in reckless behavior, cutting each other off and tailgating. The event was pushed to an extreme and unfortunately someone died. The interesting thing was that at the time no one seemed to consider this road rage. I remember the story ran for many days and reports were made about domestic violence in Officer Miller's home, alcohol abuse, etc., but I can't recall one headline that included road rage or methods to control these behaviors. These two men made a series of bad choices. The decision to stop along the freeway was probably the worst decision of all. Had one driver simply continued on his journey instead of stopping this entire mess could have been avoided. If these two men had learned some methods to control their aggression while driving or even stopped to consider the possible results of their behavior this incident would probably have been avoided. Evaluation # 8 I remembered this incident because I had written a report for my sociology class in juvenile delinquency. I was rather shocked at the end result which was Miller's death. I can definitely see how this situations can arise. I, myself, have never been one to physically assault another, nor would I do so verbally. I do, however, verbally bash the other person to my passengers or myself. If I can get so worked up about someone cutting me off or not allowing me into their lane, I can certainly see how easy it is for others to become so angry you eventually kill someone. This is a really scary thought. This SWR allows me to analyze the errors made my both parties and see what events led up to this incident. If both men had learned to avoid these hostile situations this would not have begun in the first place. What started as a simple action of cutting off another driver escalated into an accidental murder. It is highly evident that the mentality of both men was clearly aggressive and they were operating under the assumption that all acts committed during the course of driving was a direct action against them and not merely a mistake caused by another driver's unawareness. These offenses were held as personal attacks and eventually led to the demise of Officer Miller.

SWR # 9 April 27, 2000 One of the shows I watch most often is Law & Order. I typically don't pay much attention to the behaviors exhibited while driving, but in this past episode I tried to observe what was going on. I realized that typically the actors have conversations while driving and don't pay much attention to the road. They also use cellular telephones while driving which can impair their driving ability. These behaviors may seem very minor when compared to other shows with obscenely reckless driving, but we as viewers learn through their modeling. They make people believe these behaviors have no impact upon their driving ability, when in fact they do. I find that as a driver when I'm talking on my cell phone I have more trouble maneuvering my car. I also find that I don't pay as much attention to the situation and my environment while on the phone. As I was driving today I noticed this car on the freeway traveling about 40 mph in the right lane with its left blinker on. There were several cars behind it unable to change lanes, but the lane was open next to this car. I wondered why the driver wasn't making the lane change thereby blocking all the other drivers. As I passed I noticed the driver was talking on her cell phone, holding it with her right hand, in her left hand was a cigarette, and she was oblivious to it all. I just laughed. I realize now how important it is to be aware of the surroundings and the impact modeling plays in our lives. Evaluation # 9 I found this exercise to be rather simple and straightfoward. I simply watched my favorite show and observed the driving portrayed in it. I know that many people complain about reckless driving in movies and television programs that involve car chases and excessive speeding, but I believe more common actions like carrying on a conversation and using a cell phone while driving are much more dangerous. Typically people don't engage in these other behaviors, but everyone has a conversation with a passenger at some time while driving. I think that once a person becomes engaged in animated conversation he is less likely to pay attention to all his surroundings and the situations that arise. It is more difficult to stop these types of behaviors because people don't see the danger in making eye contact with their passenger so they don't take it seriously, but they can see the problems that arise from driving a car at 90 mph and slamming into a guard rail or another vehicle. I also think that people need to be more aware that using your cell phone really distracts your attention from the road. I am guilty of doing this myself. It sounds stupid, but I have conversations while driving and sometimes have difficulty changing lanes because I can't balance the phone, hold the stering wheel, turn on my blinker, and turn my head to check that the lane is clear.

SWR # 10 April 28, 2000 I must say that I don't often stop to consider the emotional state of the other driver. I am quick to overreact and assume the worst about others. While reading TEE card 55C2 I began to realize that I could probably avoid many hostile outbursts if I simply had more compassion for other drivers. I also found TEE card 57C2 highly accurate in describing my feelings while driving. As I said I am quick to assume the worst. By taking this class I have made myself aware of the problem and hopefully will continue to practice some of the methods taught in class to maintain a calm attitude while driving. I especially find that when I grumble about another driver I do feel more hostility toward him. If I remember to stop myself before I verbally bash the other driver, I am more likely to remain calm and in control. Evaluation # 10 This is the final exercise in our QDC. As I have said in previous evaluations I believe that the concept of questioning another driver's motives is one of the best methods for me in maintaining a calm attitude. I believe that if I can remember to continue to view the situation from another's perspective I will be less likely to assume the worst and engage in a negative action against the other driver. These TEE cards, which suggest compassion toward the other driver as well as taking his emotional state into consideration, in combination with awareness of environmental surroundings are probably the most useful to me. These are the things I use most often while driving to prevent me from making rash judgements and angering myself. So far, it has been quite successful and I hope that I will remember to perform this tactic and remain calm throughout my driving career. These ideas can also transcend to all aspects of life, not only driving. The ability to understand that there are reasons for behaviors is a skill that everyone should value. If everyone was more compassionate we would have less aggression and hostility towards on another.