Self-witnessing Report on the Age of Rage

Conclusion

by Gerald L. Lacambra

By self-witnessing my rage, I, first of all, discovered that I do have rage. I tend to be this shy, reserved person, but nevertheless, I still have rage inside. Maybe my propensity to be diffident in nature has something to do with the rage that I hold inside. In retrospect, I realize that some of my rage incidents were just ridiculous. For example, the pavement rage episode is even embarrassing, to be irked simply by having someone walking slowly in front of me is plainly silly.

Personally, I believe my rage feelings stem from, if not partially then completely, my underdeveloped social skills. Throughout my life, I have always been a shy person. As a child, that behavior was reinforced by teachers praising my tractable nature as opposed to other children. However, as I grew up, I became aware that my reticence brings more bane than rewards. My social inadequacies have led to social misunderstandings on my part and other people's parts as well.

So I know that I have to change, but I am not sure if I can, or know how to change. Social-learning has taught me many things, both good and bad. Yet, if I learned to be a certain way, then it is logical to un-learn by learning to be another way. Therefore, I have hope, I can modify my thoughts, feelings, and behavior. And through change, my shameful rage, among other negative aspects of myself, will change as well.

It is said that there are five stages of change. (1) Pre-contemplation, (2) Contemplation, (3) Preparation, (4) Action, and (5) Maintenance.

  1. Pre-contemplation
    		2. Thinking whether or not you need change
  2. Contemplation
    		3. Thinking what can I do to change
  3. Preparation
    		4. Making preparations to try to change
  4. Action
    		5. Making the change
  5. Maintenance
    		6. Maintaining the change

Right now, I am between comtemplation and preparation stages. I am on my way. I see the need to change my behaviors, I now have to figure out how to do so.