Selections for the Report on Psychology of Online Relationships

Table of Contents




False Identities

False Identities online can be done in two different ways, according to an observer. There is a difference between pretending to be someone of the opposite sex for support and pretending to be someone of the opposite sex merely for fun and to contribute to the "make pretend/fantasy" type of world in Cyberspace. One of the examples used here was a male who pretends to be a female in an online suppport group for females who are battered. It seems to me that the reason he pretended to be a female was to gain support (him, being a battered male) and if his true gender was known, he probably would not have gotten the support that he needed. This is different from a male who pretends to be a female in a chatroom for fun or laughs. Already, one can see the difference in intentions here, but this is not always evident to the "victim" or others online.
The issue of touching was also tackled. It was stated that the Internet could serve as an emotional means of contact (even though it is not really a physical type of contact), unlike real life, where simple touching could be viewed differently according to different people. Personally, I can somewhat relate to this view because I have met some really wonderful friends who have emotionally "touched" me in different ways, but I don't think anything can beat real life touching with others. The Internet just wouldn't "cut it" for me.

Online Interactions

Another topic of interest that was mentioned concerned Interaction. Everything in Cyberspace deals with interaction. E-mail, newsgroups, chatrooms, and webpages are just some entities that deal with interaction. Some people take this interaction, especially in chatrooms, to a different level. Emotions and feelings become involved and people no longer differentiate the Internet from real life. Through interaction, people get to know eachother online, whether their personalities are portrayed honestly or not is an indicator of whether real, honest interaction is taking place or merely fun and fantasy. I can apply this to a few examples of my own. I know of one guy, not really a friend but more of an acquaintance, who met a young woman in a chatroom a few months ago. She lives in Australia, while he resides here in Hawaii. The two fell in love and he even visited her in Australia so that they could finally be together, physically instead of just virtually. I think this is wonderful that they hit it off and conveyed their honest emotions. But this is not always the case in many Internet interactions which turn out to be "horror stories" instead of a dream come true.

Expectations

Expectations relate a lot with interaction. People will act differently depending on their expectations. Some people may present themselves as someone totally different from who they really are, probably thinking to themselves that since their minds are real, they can take on the fake identities or "appearances" of whatever they wish. People who expect or think that everyone online will be totally honest and tell the truth about themselves may be in for disappointment. Some people go online and "expect" to meet the perfect soul mate to fall in love with. Unfortunately, these "perfect soul mates" have totally contrasting ideas, expecting some fun in a fantasy world and nothing more. I would like to think of it as "Expectations drive Interaction." This only makes me even more aware of who I talk to in chatrooms. I have always been the cautious type and I will always be. After reading about all of this, I don't think I could go into a chatroom expecting to fall in love. For all I know, he could be my own brother! Yuck!!

Addiction

LifeStream Behavior Center, a counseling group in Florida is said to offer treatment for people who are, in simple terms, computer dependent (I like to think of it as being addicted to the 'Net). It is not hard to imagine how one could become an addict in a certain chatroom (I think I already am one!) because for me, it is not only fun, but also because of the "internet buddies" that I've made and look forward to chatting with on an almost daily basis! (NO! I'm NOT a freak! I'm totally innocent! ) It's funny how all of us chatters at this one chatroom tend to joke about being addicted (measured by the tendency to be online in the chatroom for hours at a time EVERYDAY!) because until now, I never realized just how serious of an issue this was. I think more and more people will become "computer dependent" in the future because the rate of Americans (and people in general) who now have access to the Internet is increasing each day. I do have to agree that if spending time on the 'Net interferes with one's personal life and becomes a priority over family, work, etc., than it is time to seek help and come to terms that you no longer have a "passion" (which adds value) for the 'Net, but an addiction, which "takes value away." Hmm, I wonder if they accept credit cards!? =)



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