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My definition of a driving buddy is an individual who is concern about the well being of another driver and thus, is willing to help that person become more aware of their unsafe driving behavior and ways to modify such behaviors into something more safe and proper. A driving buddy critiques a friend's driving behavior while being sensitive to the friend's feelings and reasons for driving in that manner. In any behavioral modification it is crucial to make the person understand why their behavior is improper and then make recommendations on how to modify such behavior. As a driving buddy you should also practice proper driving etiquette so that you don't look like a hypocrite.
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I would define driving personality make-over is the process of modifying some negative driving behavior into something more safe and proper. Driving involves three domain: affect (our feelings), cognition (our thoughts) and behavior (how we behave). To give a person a driving personality make-over requires the integration and evaluation of these three domains. It is important to understand the feelings and thoughts that a person has when driving because this in turn will affect how that person drives. The goal of a driving personality make-over is not limited to only changing how a person drives (sensorimotor) but also how the person thinks (cognitive) and feels (affective) about driving.
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Ding: Well here goes nothing.
Jocelyn: Just drive like you normally do, I would not try to modify your driving behavior for today until tomorrow.
Ding pulls out of the driveway and we are on our way to the mall. I realized that she was not wearing her seat belt so I decided to her ask about it.
Jocelyn: Aren't you going to wear your seat belt?
Ding: NO, I don't like wearing my seat belt because it feels uncomfortable. Besides I was never pulled over by the police for not wearing my seat belt, so what the heck with it.
We merged into Kapiolani Drive and sure enough it was traffic. The cones were up so no left turns could be made into Atkinson Drive.
Ding: I really hate driving in traffic.
Jocelyn: Why do you hate driving in traffic?
Ding: I hate it because we move at a slow speed and there are cars trying to merge in. I for one don't like giving other drivers the opportunity to merge in. I like to go too close to the car in front of me so that no can merge into my lane.
Jocelyn: Isn't that dangerous?
Ding: I don't think so. I have been doing for quite a while.
Ding begins to flip through her CD case as she decides what to listen to. She takes her eyes off the road as she goes through her CD's.
Ding: SO what CD do you want to listen to?
Jocelyn: Nothing in particular. Don't you want to wait until you are on a complete stop to look at your CD's.
Ding: No, I do this all the time. It really isn't that much of a problem. I use one hand to steer the wheel and the other to look through the CD's. Besides I only take my eyes of the road for a few seconds at a time.
Ahh, a yellow light, I'll speed up so that we don't have to be stuck here any longer. At times I sometimes run a red light because I hate waiting for it to turn green most especially when it is traffic because it seems to take longer.
Jocelyn; Why don't you just be patient and just slow down on a yellow light and stop when it is red?
Ding: I guess I could but I like the feeling of running a red light and getting away with it. The bright side is that I am not stuck waiting for it to turn green.
Jocelyn: Do you this all the time.
Ding: I guess I do, especially if there are no cops around.
Another thing that I like to so when there are no cops around is to make a left turn when the cones are up. I just make sure that there are no cars and I am able to make the left turn.
Jocelyn: Why don't you just use the diverted route instead of making an illegal left turn.
Ding: It takes longer and if I can get away with it then why not.
Surely, enough Ding made an illegal left turn into keeaumoku street
instead of making a right into kaheka street and then a first left on makalao
street, which would lead you to keeaumoku street. Thus, we have arrived
at the mall. Now we are looking for parking.
DE-BRIEFING of Day 1
After we parked the car, I asked Ding to stay a few minutes while I asked her how she felt about the drive to the mall and the questions that I was asking her.
Ding: I thought that the drive went pretty well. The only problem was that it was traffic which made me irritated and more hostile in driving.
Jocelyn: How were you more hostile?
Ding: Well, when I had the chance I would speed up. I also did not signal when switching lanes and I would take chances when switching lanes. Even if the space is too small, I would just try to squeeze myself in and the car behind me has to stop and make me in.
Jocelyn: Would you drive differently when it is not traffic?
Ding: Probably not. It depends on my mood and if I am running late.
At this point I decided to inform Ding about the areas in of her driving that I thought needed to be modified.
Jocelyn: Ding, based my observation of your driving I think that you should modify these behaviors if you want to become a much safer driver. These behavior include:
Ding: I am fine with it. I mean I don't really want to change my driving behavior because I feel I am a safe driver, but I promised that I will do this experiment.
Jocelyn: Are you offended when I suggested you change your driving behavior.
Ding: Not offended but surprised that I had so much flaws in driving. I don't think I would be offended by your criticism because you are my sister. Maybe if you were a friend or a total stranger then I would probably get offended or even upset that someone is telling me that some of my driving behavior is inappropriate.
Jocelyn: Do you think you really need to change any of these driving behaviors?
Ding: No, everybody does the same thing so why should I change. I mean there are many people who run a red light when cops are not around. Also people make illegal turns when the cones are up and I am just doing the same thing.
Jocelyn: Are going to allow me to give you a driving make-over tomorrow?
Ding: I guess. I promised and maybe it would worthwhile. So can we go into the mall?
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We are entering the car, Ding starts the engine and is about to back out of the driveway.
Jocelyn: Aren't you going to wear your seat belt?
Ding: Do I have to?
Jocelyn: You promised you will try to comply with my suggestions on how to modify your driving behaviors.
Ding: Okay, but I am not comfortable wearing my seat belt because it feels like I am being strangled.
We are approaching kapiolani drive and Ding is anticipating the congested traffic.
Ding: I guess it is not as traffic as yesterday.
Jocelyn: I guess so. Try to remember not to speed on a yellow light or run a red light.
Ding: I'll try but it will be hard.
Jocelyn: Here's your opportunity. The light just turned yellow.
Ding: Should I try to beat it or slow down??? Well I guess I'll slow down for today.
Jocelyn: How did it feel resisting the temptation to speed up?
Ding: It was not easy. Look we are stuck here waiting for the light to turn green.
However, I have to admit that it kind of relaxing not having to worry if a cop saw you ran a red light. Also, sometimes when it is traffic and I run a red light, I am stuck in the middle of the road and cars trying to go in can't because of me and it makes me feel uneasy because I worry if they will hit my car.
Jocelyn: If you worry about those things, then you should try to be patient and re-evaluate the situation of being stuck in traffic. Instead of seeing a red light as something that slows you down, think of it as a way to relax and observe your surroundings.
Ding: I guess so. But I don't know if I could set aside the annoying feeling of traffic and make it into something positive.
Jocelyn: It will take time, but it will get easier with practice. Also, it helps if you talk our loud your feelings and thoughts because you become more conscious about it.
At this moment the light turns green and Ding continues with her driving.
Ding: I wonder if there is enough space for me to switch lanes?
Jocelyn: I think there is, but don't forget to signal.
Ding: Yes, I remember that I have to signal before switching lanes or making turns. It really helps when you remind yourself of what you are doing. Sometimes when I drive, I don't really think of my actions, but when I do, like at this moment, I become more aware of my actions and thus, become a safer driver.
Jocelyn: That's good, right?
Ding: Duh. Hey, should I make an illegal turn?
Jocelyn: You promised!
Ding: I was just joking. I will take the other way around.
Indeed, Ding did take the other route to the mall. She signal to make the right turn into Kaheka Street and then made a left turn into Makaloa Street. While on Makaloa street, she made a driver from Amana street merge into her lane. Afterwards, she made a left turn on Keeaumoko Street and then went up the ramp to Ala Moana mall.
DE-BRIEFING of Day 2
Jocelyn: Well Ding, I have to say that I am impressed by your driving today. You did made some improvements on the areas that I suggested you modify. How do you feel about what I have just said?
Ding: I feel good about myself. I mean there were times when I just wanted to do what I have done yesterday but I keep telling myself to try to challenge my ways and do things right. It was not easy but atleast I tried to change my old ways.
What I realize is that if I don't want to change, then I would not change. When we first got into the car, I was telling myself that I am an okay driver and that there was nothing that I should change. That is why I did not instantly wear my seat belt and then complained about it when you told me to. But after a while, I began to realize that I have nothing to loose if I do change some of my driving behavior atleast for today.
Jocelyn: I am glad to see that you are thinking more about your driving and the consequences it can have. It is really important that you recognize your flaws and acknowledge that you need to change if you want to modify any behavior. Recognizing that you need to change is the first step in any behavior modification.
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In day 1, Ding was very cooperative. She explained why she drove the way she did and she did not mind my asking her to explain her driving behaviors. What I realized from Ding is that she likes to attribute her driving behaviors to the traffic situation. When it is traffic she becomes more hostile and inconsiderate because other drivers are irritating her. She performs risky traffic maneuvers like, forcing herself into a lane event though there isn't enough space or following too close to the car in front of her so that other drivers can't merge into her lane. I feel that Ding does not really think of the consequences of her actions but rather see her behavior as a to have control of the situation and bring a sense of satisfaction to this irritating situation of being stuck in traffic. Ding gets a sense of satisfaction when she speeds on a yellow light or when she runs a red light. Such behavior accomplishes two things: 1). gets Ding to her destination faster, and 2). Allows Ding to avoid being stuck behind a red light which is something she greatly dislikes. Ding also likes to rationalize that people drive the same way that she does so she is not doing anything wrong. If other people are doing it then why is it wrong if she does the exact same thing. Such rationalizations and attributions keep people from adopting more proper and safe driving behaviors. We must take the responsibility of our actions into our own hands and not try to find excuses for our behaviors.
Ding was not offended by any of my evaluations and I was hopefully that it was a sign that she will be willing to modify her driving behavior in day 2 without any resistance. However, Ding did show resistance when I suggested that she modify her behavior and practice more safe driving behavior. In the beginning of day 2, I suggested that Ding wore her seat belt. but before she wore her seat belt she complained about how she feels uncomfortable and strangled whenever she wears her seat belt. The origin of this resistance comes from a habit of not wearing her seat belt and getting away from it. Why wear your seat belt, when it feels uncomfortable, if you can get away with it without getting in trouble with the police. The fact that she never got a ticket or was pulled over by the police for not wearing seat belt, strengthens the desire to resist wearing her seat belt. I was not surprised when she resisted to wear her seat belt. I just basically reminded her that she made a promise that she will modify her driving behavior into something more proper and safe. It is crucial that Ding acknowledges this resistance and try to overcome it in order to allow herself to begin to wear her seat belt.
Ding did not show any hostility in day 2. Her resistance to changing her driving behavior decreased as she began to recognize and accept that she needed to change her driving behavior. Ding found talking out loud and being more conscious of her thoughts and feelings and how they affect her behavior, to be helpful in modifying her driving behavior. When she pays attention to her driving behavior and her surroundings she becomes a more considerate and a safe driver. She signals when making turns or switching lanes. She allowed a car to merge into her lane, which was absent in day 1 of this activity.
Overall, this activity was rewarding because I was able to influence my sister to practice safer driving behaviors. I also found this activity to be challenging because I had to identify Ding's negative behavior and inform her about it without being insensitive and rude. This was hard because I did not want to offend Ding in any way. I had to remind myself to be as objective as possible when evaluating Ding's driving.
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