Fall 2002- Generation 17
Dr. Leon James, Instructor
Instructions
for this report can be accessed here!
By Krista Guiteras-Duncan
E komo mai kakou a me mahalo for
visiting my page. The purpose of this
site is to investigate the differences in men and women and how they handle
relationships and spirituality. The
goal of this page is to share the meaning of spirituality and to help you
understand the way men and women can make it work in intimate relationships.
To navigate this web site please click on
one of the links below that interest you, and you shall be taken there
immediately. Once you are in the perspective page, click on the Home Link to
get back to the home page. Mahalo nui
loa and enjoy browsing this site!
1A. UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:
A. SUMMARY
The differences between men and women
are defined socially and somewhat distorted in sexism where men assume
superiority over women and maintained their superiority through being dominant
with women. Equality between the sexes
has shaped the possibilities for findings of what really exist within a man and
within a woman. We view the world less
interesting when everything and everyone is exactly the same.
The physical differences between men
and women are obvious and provide functional advantages that have survival
value. The psychological differences
between man and women are less than obvious.
These differences are hard to describe, but are essential to understand
how man and women maintain relationships that range from the workplace,
friendships to marriage and parenting.
B.
My Initial Reaction
This is a great article! I view men and women as being
equal, but different. I think that we
both have a right to equal opportunity and the same protection under the
law. Understanding differences between
men and women can be difficult, but is not impossible. I think that the most problems arise when
we expect what the opposite sex should feel, think, or react the way they do.
C. My Final Opinion
I agree that the differences with men and women stem from the socially
defined aspect and sexism that has existed for many centuries. Men were always seen as being superior and
women as submissive. That has changed a
lot in this time and age. Thank God!
D. Search Process
I did my search on google and typed in men women
differences. This particular article
entitled “Understanding The Differences
Between Men and Women” was written by Michael Conner, Psy.D. It was easy to find and very interesting to
read. I enjoyed this search process and
article.
2a. Problems between men and women
A.
Summary
Men and women approach problems with the same goals,
but with very different considerations.
They can both solve problems equally, but their processing is
different. Most women share and discuss
their problems because it gives them and opportunity to explore, and strengthen
the bond with the person that they are sharing their story with.
Men are less concerned and don’t really feel the same
way as women do when solving a problem.
Solving a problem for men gives them an opportunity to demonstrate their
competence and their strength to resolve.
Men set aside their feelings provided that the dominance hierarchy was
agreed upon in advance. They have the
tendency to dominate and assume authority solving a problem.
For women, sharing and discussing a problem gives them
an opportunity to explore and strengthen the relationship with the person that
they are talking with. Women are more
concerned about how problems can be solved rather than solving the problem
itself. We value the sharing experience
more than a final solution.
B.
My Initial Reaction
I think that the main
problem with men and women in relationships start with the way they solve their
problems. It was interesting to see how
men try to solve their problems with dominance and a quick solution and the
women wanting to dialogue and share an intimate experience in solving a
problem. I am one of those women who share and discuss my stories with another
person to cultivate a relationship with them and this makes me feel that the
listener cares enough to sit there and listen.
C.
My Final Opinion
I agree that men and women solve their problems
differently. I know this firsthand in my marriage. I understand how the process
of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. Because of the fact that men set aside their
feelings and become distracted in solving problems in a relationship takes away
the quality of their relationships. I
am so glad that my husband is a good listener and my bet friend. While growing
up, he was close to his mother, she taught him very well and I thank her every
time I see her.
I think that men need to learn how to solve problems as
women do. Instead of quickly coming to a solution to just “get over it” and
dominate is selfish and unloving. Women
need to feel that they are being listened to and taken serious. Talking and
sharing is the woman’s way of feeling connected with her partner. Men need to
identify with their women and place them as top priority.
D.
Search Process
This article was found on google. It was easy to find
and was found on the second page of
“Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women.” I enjoyed this article because it went into
detail from our gender differences to physical differences and problem solving
differences.
3a. New Evidence for Differences Between Male and Female
Thinking
A.
Summary
Research has revealed that a man’s brain is approximately 10% bigger
than a woman’s brain. But, it is also
known that woman’s brains make up 2.5% compared to men’s 2%. In tasks such as reading, men tend to use
only the left hand side of the brain where women utilize both sides of the
brain. No wonder there is no difference
in accuracy of speed, but a difference in taking two different routes to get
the same results!
Men are better at mentally rotating an image in order to solve a
problem, but women can remember words or paragraphs better then men do. The conclusion drawn from this research
shows that men and women surely do have different wired brains that can lead to
different strengths and weaknesses.
B. My Initial
Reaction
This is interesting stuff! This
is something that I already knew being that we were created differently physically,
but I did not know of men’s brain being 10% bigger. Either way, I think women are 10% smarter than men. The article did say that women’s brains make
up 2.5% compared to men’s 2%. This tells us something.
C. My Final Opinion
I agree that while men and women reach similar conclusions
and make the similar decisions, the process they use can be very
different. It is true that women tend
to be intuitive global thinkers. Women
do hold multiple sources of information simultaneously while men do not. Men tend to focus on one single problem at a
time.
I think that a male works through a problem repeatedly
going over and over the same things, rather than addressing the problem all at
once to get somewhere. I see this very
strongly in my general manager where I work.
He considers a problem piece by piece and then finally comes to
understand it. He dominates conversation and can only see things his way, and
it is ten times worst because he has the “small man syndrome.” This makes him
want to dominate the women even more because we are taller than he is.
D. Search Process
This one I found using google under Brain News in Briefs
Editon 1. I found it to be interesting
and decided to use it. What caught my
attention was the males brains being 10% bigger. I knew that males were bigger
physically, but never thought that their brains would be a whole 10% bigger
than females. I typed in male female
differences and this sub title came up with four editions. It was not hard to
find. This particular article showed
graphs on recent studies and percentage rates by scientist.
4a. Male and Female Communication Styles
A. Summary
This article shares that because men and women speak different languages,
we have been misunderstanding each other for many generations. Researches say that we spend 70% of our wake
time communicating and 30% od our communication is speaking to each other. Because of this we need to learn to
communicate with each other better.
Language differences are due also to our social experiences. Even if we are all born in the same world,
we socialize in different worlds. We do
not respond to boys and girls the same way.
In our society, boys and men are seen as aggressive and independent
while girls and women are seen as submissive and subjective.
In general, men talk about things like business, sports, food, rather
than people. They talk to report
because they convey facts and not detail.
Women, talk to get information and to gain rapport. They talk about people rather than things
and convey feelings and detail. Women
are more relationship oriented and they cooperate more.
B. My Initial Reaction
Yes, I agee that parts of our genetic differences are due to our genetic
makeup. Because we respond to boys and
girls differently, our expectations of them are different. It is true that these same gender
differences become parts of our communication pattern that stays with us for
life.
C. My Final Opinion
I can see and agree how these differences can cause conflict between the
sexes socially and intimately. I think
that men need to be more sensitive to women’s feelings and really pay attention
to women. Men need to know that we are
more relationship oriented and that they are more goal oriented.
I think that a good woman can shape and
mold a man into a good man as long as he is willing and able to finally want to
see the light.
D. Search Process
Once again used my favorite search engine, GOOGLE. Up popped “Male and Female Communication
Styles!” There were many sub titles, but this one caught my interest just with
the title and the information that it contained was very useful for my report. It was not hard to find.
5a. Parent-Child
Patterns in Love Relationships
A. Summary
Sacred
Psychology of Love by Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D. explains an important factor in relationships between men and
women. She shares that the carryover from
our relationships as children with the opposite-sex parent leads us to develop
concepts about our personal relationships. What we absorbed and learned form
our parents in childhood will be acted out in or recreated in our adult
relationships. Childhood patterns have been planted firmly in the unconscious
and subconscious mind.
Marilyn
says that as adults, if the relationships in out childhood family were loving
and cooperative, then we will most likely recreate loving and cooperative relationships
with the people we love. If the
relationships were hostile and angry then we will recreate problematic
relationships. What we take in as young
children goes way deep into our entire being and shapes us into who we truly
are today. From the unconscious and
subconscious levels we attempt to recreate our childhood relationships no
matter how good or bad they were.
B. My Initial Reaction
I thought
this factor of “carryover” to be quite interesting. I can see it being true in
many cases. I remembered my sweet
childhood days and I see that it has shaped me into how I am today. I respect
and love my husband as I always did and always will respect and love my dad. My sister feels the same way. What we learn
and absorb as children really does sink into our entire being and later surface
in our adult relationships. In the
“carryover” we come to understand that actions speak louder than words.
C. My Final Opinion
I think that
this “carryover” concept is very useful and true. It will open the eyes of many men and women who find them selves
relating to their partners the same way that their parents related to each
other. When we identify with this
concept, we then can decide to keep the actions that help us and cast off the
actions that are hurting our relationships today. After realizing the “carryover” factor, man and women can then
decide to change their actions that do not please them in their current
relationship.
D. Search Process
This spiritual psychology excerpt was
found on google. I’m glad that I found
this one and think that it’s the most interesting information that I found on
love relationships. This article is
titled Mystical Love, Karma in Soul Mate Relationships.
Referrences
1. www.msosingapore.org/news_e1.html
2. www.www.ohioline.osuu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5280.html
3.www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/DifferencesmenWomen.htm
4. www.spiritualpsychology.com/loveexcerptsch15.html
~~~~~~~SPIRITUALITY~~~~~~~
Part B.
6B. Who is God and what
is spirit?
A. Summary
God is the creator of heaven and earth.
God is spirit, this defines His substance.
In order to absorb what it means by “God is spirit” we must define
spirit. Spirit in Hebrew is “breath” or
“wind” and this Hebrew word is applied directly to God. The spirits of both God and men are directly
compared to the wind in John 3:5-8.
Like the wind, God can be heard, but not seen. God is constantly speaking, both to the creation He made by His
word and to the people. As God by His
word created all things, so it is that all things are held together by His word
(Genesis 1:1-2).
We are told that God has spoken to us
through His son, who is the perfect representation of his person (Heb
1:2-3). God’s expression of Himself
through Jesus is complete, but our understanding is incomplete. God’s design is that Christ live through
us. God made His spirit available to
live in us to direct us into the truth as we are able to receive it.
Spirit, like the wind, blows everywhere
it wants. It is only spirit that has
such freedom to act in the world and the God is spirit. There is liberty where the spirit of God
is (2 Cor 3:17). Spirit is the true cause of everything
lasting. Words express spirit, and the
spirit and its expression are one.
Jesus is the word of God and all things
were created through him. God’s spirit
(breath) was active in creation and everything was created when God spoke
(Genesis 1).So all things were created through God’s word (Jesus), his spoken
words, and his spirit. Because these
three are one, there is no contradiction here.
B. My Initial
Reaction
When reading this site I thought about the
word is John that says, “ God is spirit and his worshippers must worship in
spirit and in truth.” John 4:20.
There
is a better understanding of the spirit world and the natural world when we
take the two together. These two worlds
are directly related to one another, infact they are one.
C. My Final
Opinion
I believe that God is the creator of
heaven and earth. I think about the
miracles of life that He creates every day when an infant is born. Only God can
create babies, He is the creator and giver of life. It is right to believe in God because God is real. I know that my
life on earth is temporary, as it is obvious that we will all pass on some day,
and I believe that I will then enter into eternity.
D. Search Process
I search on google and typed in
the words “God is spirit”and discovered a lot of information on this
topic. The articles were not hard to
find, and there was a lot to read about on this topic. I am excited to see more and more sites
sharing the truth and making it available for every one to learn and deposit
deep within.
7B.
The devil is bad
A. Summary
The devil also called Satan, Lucifer, the morning
star, the deceiver and the evil one was a real creature. He was an angel who went astray. Many students of the Word believe that God
created evil as well as good because without both there could be no
choice. They saw Satan as a symbol and
argued that he was not a fallen angel as that would make heaven unsecured and
put eternal salvation in question.
These are the philosophical concepts.
Satan exsist in time and is
governed by it, just like you and I.
One day his time will be up, but for now he is here to kill, steal, and
destroy. He was the anointed cherub
covered with every precious jewel. He
was God’s master musician and God’s chosen worship leader, but wickedness was
found in him. He was filled with
violence and his heart became proud on account of his great beauty. Lucifer was the wisest and brightest but he
fell because he thought that he deserved more than what the Lord blessed him
with. He placed his will over God’s
will and anything contrary to God’s will is evil sin.
B.
My Initial Opinion
When I
read this article based on Ezekiel 28:12-19 and Isaiah 14:21 I grasped the
serious sin of wanting to live out lives our own way. I think that the song “ I did it MY WAY” will not be playing in
heaven. Thinking that our way is the
best way is a lie from the devil himself.
It is easier to submit to God and focus on what is eternal. We must learn from the devils example and
not chose our own will over God’s will for our lives.
C. My Final Opinion
Same as the above. I agree that we were all created with a free
moral will and so was the devil, we can choose to be loose about our freedom or
to be smart about it. Some people
think that living a righteous life is hard, but if one was to fast forward the
tape of their lives, they would totally change their thinking.
I
don’t think that a human being would want to go the hell and have the evil one
torture him day and night into infinitum. That’s absurd. We need to recognize that evil is a
manifestation, a disease that tries to pull us to control our will.
D.Search Process
I typed in devil is spirit on the google search engine. This particular article was not easy to
find. There were a lot of good spiritual
articles, but not many on the devil himself.
8B.
Spiritual Forces: Good and Evil
A. Summary
In the present world, both light and
darkness are spiritual forces. From the
beginning light was a spiritual force, but darkness was not. Darkness was not associated with evil until
sin entered the creation tht darkness became an evil spiritual force. Man learned to know evil and fear God’s
light, this brought a spirit into darkness and did not welcome God’s
light. The darkness became a spiritual force
affiliated with satan.
The power of darkness is not like the
power of light. God is light and
darkness is the rejection of God. The
devil dwells in the darkness and his power depends on men believing lies. Light is a living force, the light of life,
but darkness is dead, the shadow of death (Jeremiah 13:16). Light and truth are allies, as are the
darkness and lies (Psalm 43:3).
The judgement is that men choose darkness
and God gives them what they seek- hell, the outer darkness, the lake of fire,
a place where God is absolutely inactive.
God does not judicially sentence anyone to hell. We make that decision
ourselves.
B. My Initial Reaction
Whew! Heavy stuff! I know that there are spiritual forces all
around us that are good and evil. I
also know that hell is a real place and that I am not going there! This article explained well what darkness
and light is and who dwells in the darkness.
C.
My Final Opinion
It is true that God does not
judicially sentence anyone to hell, we really do make that decision
ourselves. I think that most people
want heaven, but they do not know how to achieve heaven. If God is light, God is love, God is good,
and He dwells in heaven, it’s obvious that we need to be in the light, do good
in knowing God and His ways, and then we’ll meet Him in heaven.
If we live in the darkness and
only know evil, then we will go to the darkness and burn with the devil. We need to make a decision for heaven now
because we never know when our time is up.
It’s not a hard decision.
D. Search Process
I searched on google and found an awesome
site at www.christian-oneness.org/chap5.htm. This article was straight to the point and
very informative referring to the truth in the word. The search was not hard and I was happy with what I found.
9B. The Afterlife
A.
Summary
What does the spirit of a man do when it
leaves the physical body for
eternity?
When the spirit leaves the body, all
connection between the spirit and the body is severed for all eternity. That spirit can never again enter that
body. No spirit ever enters a body that
has once been home of another spirit.
After the spirit and body separate, the spirit becomes, of itself a
separate thing, controlled entirely and exclusively by governing laws of the
spirit body.
With the spirits entry into the spirit
world comes the soul still enclosed in that spirit body. The condition of the soul determines its
destiny as well as the appearance of the spirit body. Loved ones and friends in the spirit life meet the newly arrived
spirit with kindness and love, but there comes a time when every soul must stand
alone. Each soul is its own keeper and
is responsible for its own destiny.
B. My Initial Opinion
I found this article to be helpful to
my understanding of life after death.
I
believe that each soul is its own keeper and that we are truly responsible for
our own destiny. This article can
really wake a person up to truly look into their heart and realize their
destiny.
C.
My Final Opinion
I
agree that once a person passes on, their spirit cannot enter their dead body.
When you’re dead, you are dead and there is no going back on your own. God
makes all the calls. Be ready.
D.
Search Process
I used the google search
engine and came across this article. It was not hard to find. Check out www.truths.com/ch15-1.htm#2. It
was a great article and shared more information in previous chapters that one
can click on if one wanted to.
10B. Heaven and Hell
A.
Summary
Paradise in the heavenlies is a
sphere zone of rest, beauty, joy, deep serenity, and peace. Heaven is a paradise that openly awaits for
souls to enter.
“Paradise”
in its originnl Persian sense referrs to the Royal Gardens outside of the
palace enclosure. A person could enjoy
the fabulous Royal Grounds, but not yet have access to the Palace unless the
guard unlocked the entry gate. The guard unlocking the gate could only be done
by an order from within the Palace.
In the realm of Paradise, saved
souls recede away from the earth faster than the unsaved souls. In Paradise, their souls remain
complete. Cetain souls find themselves
in the lower stratas requiring time to get detached from the love of the earth
and personal ambitions. As they get
detached, they commerce to rise up to heaven.
Whatever the person was by nature previously he continues to be in
heaven of hell.
The lake of fire is the second
death. If anyone’s name was not found
written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire
(Revelations
20:12-15). Here the souls enter into
pain and suffering. The slow
disintegrating process last for eternity.
The soul unfolds and finally sees to understand the deep remorse it
screams into the mind of the spirit.
B.
My Initial Reaction
This entire article was
powerful. It kind of reminded me of
this “Stairway to Heaven” book that I read a while ago. A beautiful picture of heaven was imagined
while reading this article and then the dark pit of hell was pictured when I
read about the “lake of fire”. And I
thought today was hot and humid! There are souls burning down there for
eternity. What do I think of that? Absolutely horrible! I am so excited to be looking forward to
heaven. Praise God!
C.
My Final Opinion
I agree with this article in that the
names that were not found in the book of life will be cast into hell (Rev
20:12-15). If people do not know about
hell, they should acquire knowledge about this real place because it is a hell
of a place that is waiting for those who do not believe.
D. Search Process
For this article I used the google
search engine and typed in devil is spirit.
They were many spiritual sights and this bullet Heaven and Hell lead me
to the site www.dadsdayoff.net/hh10heaven.html.
The search was not hard to find and I was glad to see many different sites up
sharing God in creative ways. These
articles explain in detail and help one to understand the afterlife and what to
expect when we pass on.
“The
greatest quest to which one can give himself is the pursuance of truth. Jesus stated in John 18:37, “To this end was
I born, and for this cause I came into the world, that I should bear witness
unto the truth.”
Conclusion
The task that faces men and women is to learn how to accept their differences, and to avoid taking their differences as personal attempts to frustrate one another, and to compromise when possible. Placing the benefit of another above our own benefit is rewarding. It is important to be ourselves and to be accepted just as we are, and not to be the source of stress and failure in the lives of people we love.
Spirituality is the heart of our entire being and when we accept God as our creator and submit to His will we will live a life of truth in the truth. Relationships that are functioning in the spirit and not only in the physical natural world are more beneficial because the love relationship is complete. Many couples try to have a relationship without the spirit, and this results in missing the main pillar of life. When God is placed first in our lives and when we love our partner as we know God loves us, we bring spirituality into our relationship. There is no better way.
REFERRENCES
1.
www.bibleunderstanding.com/beginningbiblestudies.html
2.
www.calvaryroadbaptist.org/who_is_god.htm
3.
www.christain-onesness.org/chap4.htm
4.
www.dadsdayoff.net/hh10heaven.html
5.
www.daily.-devotions.com/index1.html
6.
www.libertycommunitychurch.com/sersons/the_devil_is_bad/the_devil_is_bad.html
7.
www.truths.com/ch15-1.htm#2
8.
www.newadvert.org/cathen/05169a.htm
9.
www.ourgodreigns.net/prayerpower
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