Outline of My Second Oral Presentation

Men Have Feelings? Really? You’re Kidding!

This is a presentation of The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands,

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, pages 68-81

By: Naomi Mitake

Instructions for this oral presentation are found at:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/leonj/leonpsy21/g21-oral.htm

I.          “A man needs to feel strong and needed as a protector for women – basically, to

conquer the beast and rescue the fair maiden.”

            A.   What is the concept, idea, or principle?

1. It means what it says. Men are simple creatures that need to feel as

though they are the knights in shining armor that slays the dragon and saves the damsel in distress.

a. Example:  Dr. Laura’s callers Chad and Sherrie

B.   Cultural and Psychological Aspects

1. Culturally, many men feel that by saving the damsel in distress, she will

fulfill his needs. But in reality, the woman may not do that or need rescuing for that matter.

a. Example:  In America, while we were kids, we watch those Disney-like movies such as Thumbelina, Aladdin, and Sleeping Beauty where there is always a male figure there to rescue the female. That is what men are taught by society (that women need protecting).

2. Psychologically, it is important for men to know that women are still

powerless in some situations. They also need to feel that women are in the position to be rescued. Men need to know that they are important to women.

C.   Education in School/College

1. This concept can be taught during early childhood with videos and

visuals and also in couple therapy, or in a marriage counseling program. But it is important to emphasize it in childhood where the child will have an easier to absorb the information.

II. “As much as men’s bellies need to be filled with delicious home-cooked meals,

their egos need to be filled with ‘yummy food’ as well.”

            A.   What is the concept, idea, or principle?

1. In my opinion, I think this means that men, like women, need to hear

compliments, and words of love & gratitude. They want to know that they are respected, appreciated, and loved.

a. Example:  Women like to hear that they are beautiful and that we don’t look fat. Men like to know that they are a good husband/lover, strong, brave, and satisfy us sexually.

B.  Cultural and Psychological Aspects

1. Culturally, most men fall into the same category. They like to have their own egos stroked by women and their gestures/words.

2. Psychologically, this ‘yummy food’ for the ego is essential to the man. He relies on it for support.

C. Education in School/College

1. I believe that this can be taught by watching videos that deal with relationships or some other video in that sort of category. Or perhaps this idea could be taught at home by the parents/guardians rather than in school.

III.        Women tend to interpret things the way that suits them best.

            A. What is the concept, idea, or principle?

1. Women don’t seem to think that men have feelings and are insensitive.

They somehow find ways/excuses to blame them and interpret every little thing that they say in their own words.

a. Example:  Dr. Laura’s caller Jeff

B. Cultural and Psychological Aspects

1. I believe that in most cultures, women are like this. Women criticize their men constantly and misinterpret messages because they probably feel that men are like bricks and won’t fall down.

2. Psychologically, women probably do this because they do not want to admit to themselves that they are wrong and blaming someone else seems to be an easier escape route.

C. Education in School/College

1, In order for this to not happen, perhaps teaching people to accept their own mistakes instead of denying them. Husband & wife (or man & woman) could possibly learn how to stop by seeking advice from a professional relationship counselor or take a relationship course before getting married to avoid misinterpretation.

My Home Page:

http://www.soc.hawaii.edu/leonj/409bf2004/mitake/home.htm