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Dealing with the Emotional Intelligence in the social art is what my presentation is focused on. Feeling completely nervous, only creates a bigger challenge for me to present this oral presentation. I felt that there were adequate communication between myself and the class. I probably could have touched more on my own personal opinions, but the minutes went by quickly.

I began with chapter 8 "The Social Art" and in the introduction it talks about how young emotional intelligence can start. These siblings are five years-old and two and half years-old and the younger of the two shows how he is able to comprehend and asset several tactics to console his older brother to stop crying. The author’s (Daniel Goleman) example of being able to manage another’s emotion is one of his key points in emotional intelligence. We are able to learn at a very young age and with a good role model, anyone is able to become familiar with self-management techniques and have self control of our own impulses.

According to Mr. Goleman, having or mastering the skill of managing others emotions is…."the core of the art of handling relationships" p. 112. This will help us mold nay type of encounter, influence those we encounter, become a better intimate partner, and be able to ease the other person. We are all faced with several types of relationships, on various scales. Having the awareness of haw we effect others and how they effect us is only the beginning.

I agree on what he has to say about how our power to influence others is learned at a very young age. Just like that two-years-old child. I believe that from the time of birth until we die we are constantly learning about the environment around us. Infants are able to acknowledge the power of social contact and influencing others around them. In relation to driving, keeping in mind that we have the power to influence other drivers just by our own actions and at the same time explaining to your children why you chose to act or counteract. So that they will have an understanding and begin to learn the importance of having emotional intelligence in driving. Its’ the planting the seed of becoming a better driver.

Section 1 is entitled Show Some Emotion. This section talks about Paul Ekman’s 3 Display Rules. 1) Minimizing, where they limit or hide their true emotion. 2) Exaggerating, when one over emphasizes their emotional expressions. 3) Substituting, where one expresses another feeling to accommodate the situation. Start with one self, is where its’ suggested to begin to understand these rules. Being in a social setting, your nonverbal communication will have an immediate impact towards the person(s) receiving it. There is a time and place for everything and having a clear understanding when to initiate these techniques, you are one step closer to having social emotional intelligence.

I agree that your facial expressions and body language as well, have a big influence with others around you and that it happens instantaneously. But, many recognize the extreme expressions more often then to those who have a melancholy face. Now in driving, I think that your facial expression first effects the mood of your driving. This will start a chain reaction in your driving abilities and your action towards those driving around you. For example; I notice that when I have a smile on my face, I am more calm at the wheel and tend to let other drivers have their way if they are in a hurry or have intentions to change lanes. On the other hand when I am upset and I have an angry face, I notice that I don’t treat other drivers with any courtesy and in turn they are angry drivers with loud horns and upscein hand gestures because of my actions.

Expressiveness and emotional contagion explains how emotions are contagious like the common cold virus. Dominance plays an important role in this virus like action. Goleman states that when tow people interact, the one with the stronger emotion will transfer toward the other who is more passive. Also the more physically influence the emotions are the more likely the two people’s moods will become similar.

I agree that emotions are contagious, but it is determined by the intensity of the interaction of both parties. I related this to my job, working on a tourist submarine, as a co-pilot. I sometimes have to five a dive narration and I noticed that my best narrations are when I put a lot of high, positive energy into my dialogue and in turn my passengers interact with lots of laughter and smiles. Especially after the dive is over, they leave the submarine with a smile and a handshake. I found that the more I involve myself, the more they enjoy themselves.

This too is easily related to driving. The emotion that is expressed through your driving is highly contagious. For example road rage, those who are aggressive drivers and speed in and out through traffic will have a negative effect toward other drivers. A few example of how other will or could react are: 1. Become enraged and tailgate, 2. Driver would want to race the other driver, 3. Increase the chance of some sort of confrontation. On the other hand, a courteous driver who allows some one else into their lane or to allow someone else to proceed before them would likely create a chain reaction with those he/she had allowed in, to become courteous towards another driver.

The Rudiments of Social Intelligence is the title of the third section. This section goes over the four components of interpersonal intelligence by Hatch and Gardner. The four components are; 1. Organizing groups, these are leader skills, initiating and coordination the efforts of a network of people. 2. Negotiating solutions, also known as the mediator, they prevent conflicts or resolves those that flair up. 3. Personal connections, art of relationships-empathy and connecting and having this makes it easier to enter into any encounter. 4. Social analysis, being able to detect and have in sights about people’s feelings, motives and concerns. The main idea of these components is having a balance of all four.

I agree on the fact of having a balance life and it’s probably the ideal to become balanced with these four components but the likeliness of everyone to practice these four components is not realistic. I am not saying that it is impossible for someone to have a balance of all four components, for it sounds like the qualities of a great leader or boss/manager. If everyone had a balanced in these components then there would be no followers just a bunch of leader trying to read in to each other’s thoughts.

In relation to driving these components could come in handy. Those who are in the first group, they would probably take the initiative to go first at a four way intersection or take charge of an accident scene that has just taken place. Those who are in the second group, the mediators, they would be the ones who have concern for the entire traffic situation and probably call into radio stations to let other know of any traffic hold ups. The third component sounds like the type of driver, who would lend a helping hand, probably see another driver trying to merge and let him/her into their lane. Last of all those who are in the last group are probably the drivers who drive offensively, aware of everything around them and can spot a reckless driver from a mile away.

In the next section named The Making of a Social Incompetent. When there are unspoken behavioral rules in a society, it easy to over look those who suffer from dyssemia. Dyssemia is defined as the learning disability in the realm of non-verbal messages. These people have poor sense of personal space, have a hard time interpreting and using body language as well as facial expressions. Since most children are expose to endless lessons of how we are suppose to act in public, these children often suffer from rejection from their peers and often feel like they have no control of how others treat them.

I don’t really agree or disagree in this section. I think that it is sad that child would grow up having dyssemia. Children are mean already and adding to the problem of trying to be accepted and not understanding why he/she is not, is very frustrating. When it comes to drivers, I think many suffer from driving dyssemia, if there is such a thing. I’ve noticed that there are many that have a poor sense of driving space and often misinterpret other driver’s actions. These drivers are probably resistant to the fact that they have any problem in driving and feel like it’s everyone else’s fault.

"We Hate You": At the Threshold is the next section and in this section it talks about the two cardinal sins that almost always lead to rejection. The first is trying to take the lead too soon and the other is being out of synch with the frame of reference. To avoid rejection the book suggests that you spend more time observing the group. This is so that you have a better understanding of what is expected from everyone’s position. The next thing is to do something that would be accepted by the group and wait to have your status approved before attempting to give input to what the group should do next.

I agree somewhat with their suggestions to avoid the ‘two cardinal sins’ that could lead to rejection. Observation does play an important role in understanding of what’s going on in the group you want to join. It gives you somewhat of an idea of what is at play and who is in charge of the group. I think that after you figure out of who is in charge of the group, it’s probably okay to go up to that person in charge to see if you could join in on the fun. I find that asking is better then guessing, then you get a definite answer and you don’t have to wait to be accepted. Besides if you are able to get the leader on your side there will be no problem suggesting any idea on what the group should do next.

Finally, this chapter ends with a case report of Emotional Brilliance. Where a man witness and enraged-intoxicated man suddenly have a change of heart by a harmless, old man. Emotional Brilliance is described by a test of social skill, it refers to the ability to calm a distressing emotions in others and handling someone at the peak of rage is the ultimate measure of mastery. This is something that comes in time and experience.

I would have to agree with the idea of emotional brilliance. Anyone who is able to influence an individual who is at the 'peak of rage' has my respect. Living the 'local style' here on the Big Island and being raised with two brothers, many male cousins and friends, I've witness countless enraged episodes. Just trying to make the attempt to calm them down is a loosing battle, especially if you don't have a clue how to go about the situation. Now if you have emotional brilliance in driving, then your an entity of the driving universe. I don't really have a clue of how I could calm an enraged driver, except just to stay out of their way. Too bad there is not universal remote control to take control of their cars.

YOUR QUESTIONS: MY ANSWERS

***Are there any cultures that encourage showing emotion with no emotion deemed as "inappropriate"? Are people of this culture more emotionally intelligent?---Kyle Saiki

###Kyle, as far as I know with in my limited ethnic background, the only culture that has little social "no-no's" is my Hawaiian culture. Everything is about sharing and living in one big ohana and if you were angry then you would let that person know. As far as them being more emotionally intelligent, to a certain point as far as acknowledging their emotions but having control over their emotions is another challenge.

***How do we distract, empathize and change the focus on a driver who is under the influence of alcohol?---Burnadath Jambaro

###Burnadath, If you are a passenger of the driver that's under the influence there are several things you could try; offer to drive for them or if they are at your house, have them sleep over and take their keys from them. Another idea is to send them home in a taxi. But if you are a driver in another car, that's a whole other story. If it were me, I would keep a very safe distance between their vehicle and mine. You could also call it in to the police. And if you were really concerned, you could follow them and at the stop light, ask them if they are okay, but I would only suggest that if they are alone in the car, because then the odds are even if they become hostel.

***What is something that can be done to help children who have social inabilities? --- Kendra Watkins

###I think the main thing is to have a lot of patience. These children just need extra attention and lots of practice. Inabilities are just minor complication to overcome.

***On page 116 the book discusses the synchrony between students and teachers and their rapport. Since it states the positive effects seem overwhelming, how do you feel this effects a large scale classrooms at the University level?---Jeanna Barr

###Jeanna, At the university level, I think that the rapport between teachers and students highly depends on the effort of both parties. If there is any effort on both parties then the relationship is influential.

***Do you think that the younger brother felt responsible for the older brothers punishment or does he relate to the pain and is comforting the brother?---Shawn Shigimatsu

###Shawn, I personally do not think that the younger brother truly understood his part/responsible for his older brother's punishment. I think that he was reacting to the emotions being displayed by his older brother.

***If emotions are contagious, how do you prevent yourself from catching the negative emotions of a ticked off driver who has just cut you off or flipped the bird at you? Why do you behave the way you do? How can you control yourself? Or if this is not the case with you, how long do you carry that negative emotion around with you?---Marissa Muraoka

###Marissa, I think that the only way to prevent any type of emotional exchange, one would have to be numb or unaware to the environment around them. I'm convinced that most drivers are aware of any driver that 'cuts' them off but not aware that they themselves caught the negative emotion at that point. Its only at that moment of recognition, is anyone able to control their actions/emotions. As for myself, it really depends on the mood that I am in at that particular time. If I am in a negative mood prior then without thinking I would probably react negatively until I realize my behavior is unsatisfactory but, if I am in a more positive mood, then my acknowledgement of my emotions would be faster and I wouldn't let it bother me.

***The 3 basic kinds of display rules, minimizing, exaggerating, and substituting, how do you apply them to the situation while you are driving.---Man Wing Kin

###Man, while I'm driving, I use minimizing during the routine daily driving to work and school. Because its a daily routine, I find myself basically showing no emotion and one tracked mind. I find myself exaggerating during any negative contact, especially during traffic hours and experiencing careless driving. As far as driving and displaying substituting rules happens only when I'm driving with my mother.

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE FURTURE GENERATIONS.......

Those of you who wish to go further then I, two thumbs up! My first suggestion is to start as early as possible. Another thing is don't be afraid of getting wild with graphic and music, but keep in mind the old model of K. I. S. S. (keep it super simple). The one thing that I wish I had the time for is to create these posting in the form of a newspaper or even a comic strip. These were just ideas I had for this web site. I thought that it would be different and attract lots of attention. That's what you want, attention grabbers. GOOD LUCK!!!!!