My QDC Report:  Handling the Rage

Table of Contents

What is QDC?

QDC, which stands for quality driving circle utilizes a small group of individuals interested in discussing, learning, and teaching driving behaviors and tendencies from personal experiences.  It is important for members involved on the QDC to share idea's regularly to make sure a support network is formulated.  Since there is no limit to a QDC, individuals involved should feel comfortable expressing themselves without restrictions.  

Though there are many types of QDC's, the primary one of interest in this report is Virtual QDC.  The members do not physically interact with one another but rather interact via chat rooms, e-mail, interact or other electronical devices.  One example of a QDC can be found at: www.coolboard.com/boardshow.cfm?mb=393012461585967

To me utilizing a QDC is beneficial because it allows individuals to discuss freely any concerns that they might have regarding driving.  It really is a educational experience because other members are constantly evaluating and giving feedback to your driving behaviors.  Because of this support system developed by one another, I see myself as life time member of QDC.  Not only do you develop better driving habits but you also develop emotional intelligence by realizing that road rage can easily arise from bad driving techniques.  

After consciously watching my behavior and actions while driving, I began to realize how much emotions plays in driving. This became evident to me when I was driving on Ala Moana Boulevard. As I was stuck in traffic, I found myself becoming more and more irritated and frustrated the longer I had to wait. Even though I knew that the conditions were uncontrollable I needed a way to channel my emotions. That's when another car cut in front of me without signaling or giving any hand gestures. All my frustrations and anger poured onto that one driver. It just gave me a excuse to be angry. After letting some steam off, I realized that it was not the other driver I was angry at but just waiting in traffic. I think a lot of drivers misdirect their anger onto other drivers. If someone had a bad day at work or school, little incidents such as not having enough room to turn into a lane could make that individual angry. I think drivers have to become more conscious of what they are doing and realize that the actions they do has a effect on other drivers.

I have to totally agree with you on this one! The anger that drivers express to one another is definitely misdirected. As I mentioned before, when you are having a day whether it be at work or just that you are catching all of the red lights, you have so much built up emotional anger. Unfortunately, there are very few ways to vent and let off steam in a car so most people just let other drivers have it! When I first started driving I was completely guilty of misdirecting all of my anger. However, over time and after taking this class before, I realized that my road rage was not making the streets any safer and that it really wasn't helping my situation either (I would still be stuck in traffic or having a bad day . . . in fact, it would usually get worse). So, I started to force myself to focus on the positive things that had happened either that day or the day before to make my whole emotional state more positive and thus, I was less likely to misdirect my anger at another innocent person. Anger on the road is really scary because it is like a chain reaction. I know that when someone gets angry at me and I'm not at fault, it ruins my day and then I'm likely to angry at someone else and so on and so forth. When you think about how many people's days you could ruin by getting angry at another driver, it makes you hold back the anger!

I also tend to direct my anger towards others. I just can't help it. Since this class I have been trying to realize that we are all in the same boat when we're on the road. We may be late or early but we're all trying to get somewhere safely. I've been trying to not get angry at others and look at myself first before honking or giving dirty looks to someone. I happened to be in the same situation as you were (but not on Ala Moana) and when the guy cut me off and tried to get ahead, but got stuck with the rest of us, I just thought to myself, "That guy must be later than me." I kind of laughed to myself and that was that. That was one of the first times I brushed off that type of incident on the roads.

My Reaction:

At the time of this event, I felt frustrated and irritated at the other driver.  I could not help but think how thoughtless the actions of the other driver was to me.  I reacted the only way I knew how by yelling inside my car and gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to release some of the tension that had built up because of the incident.  

Improvements:

After I let out my anger, I did feel a little better but I know that this type of behavior is dangerous to myself and others.  At the time I did little to control my emotions because I did not have the proper strategies to maintain them.  I think the most important factor I received from this event is that I understood that I did something wrong.  Because of that, I will be able to be more conscious of the actions I portray in the future.    

Before I started this exercise, I did not know that acts like turning without signaling or speeding up to a yellow light were considered aggressive driving behaviors. These aspects for me have become more of a convenience or a bad habit. While driving the other day to Ward Center, I noticed that I do not signal when I know I have ample room to cut into a lane. I guess ,to me, I do not consider it necessary to let the other drivers know of my intentions if it is not going to interfere with their driving. This action of not signaling did not bother me in any way. Only if I knew I had to cut into a busy lane would I signal. I think I do this not only because it is considerate and respectful but also because it allows for safe passage for me and my passengers. Another action that I know is aggressive driving is tailgating. I notice that I tailgate not just out of retaliation to other drivers but also to my emotional state. If I am angry or in a hurry, I become impatient and expect other people to understand my feelings. When other drivers slow down or do not let me pass, I consider it a direct insult to me because I expect the other drivers to understand my circumstances. Only after I calm down or relax do I realize that my actions were dangerous and aggressive. Monitoring my emotional state before driving has helped me become more conscious of my driving and more responsible.

After reading your SWR, and thinking about the topics that we are talking about this week, I began to realize how foolish my aggressive driving really is.

You brought up a good point regarding tailgating. I admit that I hate it when people do that to me, but nevertheless, I find myself tailgating people at times. Don't get me wrong now - I said AT TIMES, and not all the time. I realize that like you, I tend to tailgate people because I lose control of my emotions. Most of the time, it's because someone cuts me off and almost causes an accident. I guess you can call it my way of getting back at that driver. However, now I realize that by tailing that driver, I am also putting myself at risk for an accident. Not only is it foolish (after all, it's not solving anything), it is also dangerous. It's like using gasoline to put out a fire - I'm only compounding the problem. Isn't it amazing how it is so difficult to realize this when the moment actually arises?

Well, obviously I have a long road ahead of me. I admit that I still have to learn to control my emotions while I drive.

My Reaction:

During this particular episode, I felt insulted by the other driver slowing me down because I just expected the other driver to know that I was in a hurry.  I did not take the time to think that the other driver probably did not understand the circumstances that I was in that particular day.  I just expected him to know.  As a result I became impatient and angry and tried to pass to the individual.  Only after I calmed down did I realize what I was doing was dangerous and aggressive.    

Improvements:

What I find myself doing most of time is catching my aggressive behaviors after I have already done them.  I guess this is important when you are first beginning to observe your driving tendencies because at least you realize what you are doing is wrong.  Constant monitoring and developing new strategies need to be done in order to prevent these aggressive tendencies to be portrayed.   

After reading the TEE card about competitive mentality, I began to notice that I am somewhat of a competitive driver. I remember when I was going to pick up my girlfriend, to go to the carnival, I tried to find the fastest route to her house. I was not pressed for time or anything, I just hated to waste time when I did not need to. I remember looking at my clock and trying to get to her house in 6 minutes. I made all but two lights and found myself anxious for the light to turn green. I was not mad that I had to wait but was a little disappointed. I had made this journey into a game for myself. I guess it was a game against me and the clock. At the time, I did not see my behavior as harmful or wrong but now I see it as dangerous. Even though I was not competing against another driver, I put myself in a situation where I was not totally thinking rationally. I guess the type of mind set you are in plays a tremendous role in your driving ability. Even though I thought I was driving decent, I was not totally focused in the environment I was in. I was more concerned getting to my girlfriends house as fast as I could than paying attention to what was around me. I realized that I have to become more conscious of my actions and understand that my actions have a effect on other people. Being competitive is not worth the risk, especially when you are dealing with other people's lives.

I agree with what some say that driving has become a challenge to the driver. There are times when I speed, not because I am in a rush, but because I want to see how fast I can get from point A to point B. It is dangerous behavior, I admit, and will see to it that I prevent myself from doing it again.

My Reaction:

I am a relatively impatient person so wasting time really gets to me.  This particular day I was anxious to go to my girlfriends house so each red light was another annoyance to me.  I could feel myself becoming more frustrated and impatient at each red light.  I noticed I was becoming angry and could see the effects it was having on my driving.  I was speeding to each light and not utilizing my blinkers to indicate lane changes to other drivers.  I was not only endangering myself but others as well.  

Improvements:

I understand now that I need to think about my actions before I do them.  It's real easy to allow your emotions to take over your actions.  That is why developing strategies such as counting to ten is so important in maintaining good driving behaviors.

Even after understanding the detrimental effects of road rage, I often find myself caught up in the midst of the rage. I guess I really haven't yet developed a alternative way to express my emotions. For example, while driving to my girlfriend's house this past Friday, the car ahead of me was driving 10 miles below the speed limit. This aggravated me because the other driver had control over me and dictated the way I was driving. I felt violated in a way because the other driving did not consider that his driving was also effecting me. As a result, I started to tailgate that individual to release my frustration. The car eventually turned and I felt a lot better. After the incident, I did not have any animosity towards the other driver. In fact, I forgot that this incident had occurred until I wrote this SWR. I know that my actions were wrong and that I need to become a more careful and patient driver. I guess it's hard to break bad habits.

I agree that people's habits are hard to break. Sometimes it's just the environment that we are raised in and is all we know, but other times, in the day to day rushing around, people forget that cars are weapons and can physically hurt or kill a human being. I think that we need constant reminders to drive without road rage.

Any bad habits can not be changed if there is no self-awareness of such behaviors and the consequences as a result. For example, I tend to verbalize my anger when I?m driving. One day, I gave a ride to my friend and she was surprised by my behavior because I?m normally a soft spoken person. Until she told me that, I?ve never really noticed myself yelling and swearing. Now I realize that it?s not a good behavior because it accelerates the anger inside of me. So, I pay more attention to what I say when I?m driving and it?s working. Also, it?s important to reinforce the desirable behavior by rewarding yourself. Just thinking about how I?ve improved my behavior is a big reward to me.

My Reaction:

The impression I received this particular day was that the other driver purposely drove slow when he/she knew there were other cars following from behind.  I felt violated because the other driver had so much control over me.  Because of it, I started to tailgate the other driver to show that I wanted to speed up.  I was really angry and this tailgating behavior was my way to communicate my feelings to the other driver.  I did not stop to think once that this individual may have been lost or a tourist not familiar with the area.

Improvements:

After this incident, I realized I had to become a more compassionate driver and realize that other people do not have the same agenda as I do.  I also realized that tailgating as a expression of aggression is dangerous and not worth the risk.  

After taking a trip to the North Shore this past weekend I found myself observing characteristics similar with those with phase 2 of the drivers threefold self. I think my mood had a lot to do with the way I approached driving that day. The trip to the North Shore was a spontaneous decision which made me excited because I haven't been their since the summer. I found myself driving a lot slower just to absorb the scenery around me. For the first time in a long while I was driving just for fun. From this experience I found myself being more alert and responsible for myself and others. I felt more tolerant of other drivers simple because I wanted to enjoy myself. Even though many cars passed me on the way up, I did not feel compelled or driven to speed up or compete with other drivers. I think this is the first time in a while that I actually drove with some emotional intelligence. I guess knowing before I started to drive that I would have a good time really changed my aspect on driving. I just hope that I will be able to apply this way of driving everyday.

I think that it is cool that you were showing a lot of emotional intelligence while driving. It is natural to drive slower when you are going somewhere that you have never been before. This past week I went to Las Vegas, and I haven't been there for about five years. So there were a lot of changes. My mom drove pretty slow so we could all get a good look at the strip. But I noticed that her mind was not on driving. Instead, it was on the scenery. I think that it is natural for the driver to want to do some sight seeing too. But it is hard to keep your mind on driving responsibly when you are somewhere new. As a result of her mind wandering, I noticed that we got a lot of honks from impatient drivers behind us and we had to slam on the brakes a few times. Maybe we should've taken a cab!

I also agree that driving to a destination with a positive mind really reflects on the way that you drive. When I feel relaxed and happy, I enjoy driving but being stuck in traffic on my way to work makes me really frustrated. I guess going out to have a fun and leisure time is important for us (especially us students). We need to get out and feel free from the daily stress of homework and exams! And also from all the negativity that goes around on the road.

My Reaction:

Finally a day where I drove with some emotional intelligence!  I was really enjoying myself driving and did not allow anything distract me.  Because of it, I was more tolerant of other drivers even if they drove aggressively.  I did not feel the need to compete with other drivers even if they were passing or tailgating me.  To me this was my ideal type of driving.  

Improvements:

I do not really see any room for improvements for that particular day of driving.  I believe I drove with a lot of emotional intelligence and that I why I think I enjoyed myself so much that day.

I found the strategies for managing anger to be very useful, especially the ones that involved making animal noises and thinking the opposite of how you actually feel. Last Wednesday when me and my girlfriend were driving, the car ahead of me did not go when the traffic signal turned green. At first I waited patiently but then after a few seconds I gave a slight honk, just to let the other driver know the light had turned green. But to my surprise the car did not go! After a few more honks I started to make some monkey noises. My girlfriend looked at me with amazement and started laughing. After seeing her laugh I started to laugh because I knew she probably had no clue what I was doing. Also during this time I was thinking in my mind, "serenity now, serenity now." I was basically trying to calm myself when I felt my anger mounting. The car in front of me finally started to go when the light was yellow, so I had no time to make it through the intersection. It was actually pretty funny and me and my girlfriend laughed some more while waiting for the light to change again. These strategies really helped me that day, and hopefully they'll come in handy in future situations.

I, myself, having tried making animal noises yet, however, after reading your experience with it and how well it worked to not only calm you down but make you laugh instead of getting angry, I'm totally willing to try it. This actually works a lot better than the other techniques because you not only control your temper, but it actually makes you kind of forget the situation you're in because you are so busy laughing at yourself! Other drivers on the road might also benefit from the animal sounds because they will probably hear you and laugh with you instead of getting angry as well!

My Reaction:

During this episode I utilized strategies for controlling anger by making animal noises.  Even though I was frustrated and angry, I found that making these noises and laughing because of them, really made me forget why I was so angry.  I guess laughter is the best medicine!

Improvements:

The best way to improve my aggressive driving tendencies was to have a list of strategies that I could implement whenever I felt frustrated.  Making this list really made me think how important it is to control one's emotions.  

When I observed my driving this past week I found that it was easy to acknowledge my weaknesses and find a solution that would change my behavior. The hard part was keeping the modified behavior consistent with my everyday driving and not just the days that I'm consciously trying to be a good driver. I think everyone has the basic ideas of what good driving is, but do not always incorporate it in their driving. If people were more consistent in driving responsibly, more people in turn would be better drivers. Too many times have I fallen to my old habits of tailgating and speeding just because I let my mind become lazy and enjoyed the behaviors that were automatic and comfortable to me. Using good judgment and emotional intelligence is not easy and requires a lot of self control. I guess that's why it is so hard to be good driver. I know that I have to be constantly watching my behaviors when I drive in order to successfully achieve my goal of becoming a safer driver.

My Reaction:

I think the reason why we are bad drivers is that we become lazy and do not implement that strategies for maintaining control.  It is much easier for us to let out our emotions than to regulate them.  The only way we will be able to improve our behaviors is if we first recognize of our mistakes and then implement strategies to avoid these behaviors on a daily basis.  

Improvements:

The best solution in maintaining strategies learned is to have them right in front of you.  This means having them available when you are driving so that you'll be able to utilize them at that moment.  One suggestion would be to have them taped in your car so you do not have to look for them. 

When I hear incidents involving road rage that ends in a shooting, I can't but feel that there had to be other compounding issues that lead to this type of altercation. No accident, no matter who is to blame, should lead to the killing of another individual. It simply does not make sense. I think a lot has to do with the mood you are in that particular day and other issues you are facing such as work or school that adds on stress. Because of this, we drive without using emotional intelligence and fall victim to our emotional side. I guess after having a accident, this event triggers us to explode and to unleash our emotions on innocent individuals. We as drivers have to realize that the world does not revolve around us but that every individual should be given the same respect that we would want. I think when we finally realize this, the road will become a little safer for us.

My Reaction:

I think it is very important to understand the mood you are in before you get inside of you vehicle.  Having too much stress can make driving more difficult to regulate driving behaviors.  

Improvements: 

I think implementing stress reducing techniques such as yoga or stretching will definitively change the mood you are currently in.  This will enable for better judgment and reduced frustration while driving.  It is really important to understand the effects your mood has on you while you drive if you want to become a safer driver.

Driving behaviors portrayed on TV can lead to serious consequences if this is the only source they are learning from. Even though children may mature and realize what they are seeing is fake, they may have developed tendencies similar to those portrayed on TV. This may include speeding, vocalizing aggressive emotions, and driving aggressively. I've seen cartoons where people run over each other, crash into each other and even explode. I know that most children watching these cartoons would understand that these actions are not acceptable behavior but it does not stop them from acting out these behaviors. The TV violence only seems to be getting worse and worse. Because of this parents need to be aware of what their children are watching and implement strict guidelines for their protection. Even though there is a overwhelming source of competition coming from TV, parents need to realize that they influence their children the most.

I agree with your idea that parents have a great influence on their children's driving behaviors. I feel that this is probably a stronger influence compared to the influence of T.V. I think that by the time people begin to drive, they already have an understanding that T.V. shows are for pure entertainment. This means that (since people start driving around the age of 15) they can already identify the driving behaviors portrayed on T.V. as being fake. Therefore, I don't think that TV is really much of an influence on our driving behaviors. The major influences arises from what we witness in the real world. In other words, our real experiences as drivers and passengers are what influence our driving behaviors the most, not what we see on T.V.

I think the media has a huge influence on viewers both adults and children alike. I have to say that I myself sometimes get misled by the media especially the media portrayal of many things such as the concept of beauty. At first, I thought that those models on the front page cover of many magazines are real. It is not until very recently that I realize that they are not real people but computer generalized images. I found that out from a psychology class that I took. Other people who don't know may be fooled into believing that and spending a lot of unnecessary money and time in losing weight and such. As you can see, the media is that powerful. There are also many fake get-rich schemes and pyramid schemes around in our society. If you are not careful enough, you will fall for them. Needless to say, portrayals of bad driving on the media has a huge influence on viewers too especially children who do not have much knowledge and judgment about things. Even adults do these kinds of things, not to mention the impact the media has on children. Hence, the only way to protect oneself from the media is to start educating the children at an early age. We cannot control the media, but we can educate the children so that they will be immune to the negative influences of media. It is just like there is nothing we can do about those people who are contributing to the issue of road rage but we can train ourselves not to be like one of them. Hence, parents can really play a decisive role in how their children are going to turn out.

My Reaction:  

This SWR really made me think about the desensitization hypothesis.  Children are becoming more and more tolerant to violent acts portrayed on the television.  Because of this, I feel concerned that these children will not portray the necessary compassion to one another when they begin to drive.  It is sort of scary to think about the driving behaviors in the future.

Improvements:

I guess the most important thing to relay to our children is the importance of compassion and empathy.  By instilling these kinds of behaviors at a early age, the more likely they will apply it when they become adults.  This would not only create more emotionally intelligent people but also safer drivers.

After reading the final Tee card, I tried to treat other drivers as if they were my neighbors. Over the past week I tried to be compassionate towards other drivers even if they were driving slow or driving aggressively. I tried to imagine what the other drivers were going through that particular day and not let my aggressive tendencies get the best of me. It was hard implementing these ideas but I noticed that I have become more patient with other drivers. Not only does this mean a safer environment for myself but for others as well. I know that understanding the emotions of others is important in handling my own emotional intelligence. By doing these Tee cards that last couple of weeks, I came to realize how important it is to manage our emotional intelligence. By doing this, I know that the tendencies of road rage will decrease as fellow drivers utilize some compassion for others.

My Reaction:

Before reading any of the TEE cards, I felt angry or upset when other drivers drove carelessly.  I did not try to imagine what kind of day they were having.  All I was concerned with was myself.  I realize now that other people's driving tendencies can be a reflection of other factors such as a bad day at work, feeling sick, or just nervous driving in a new environment.  Because of this, I have become more tolerant of the actions of others and tried to maintain my self control.

Improvements:

I feel that we have to constantly watch over our behaviors if we are to become safer drivers.  Being compassionate to those who drive carelessly may be difficult but necessary in order to develop a less aggressive atmosphere.  

Overall, I definitely see changes in my driving behaviors as a result of using the QDC. I have become more conscious of what I am doing on the road and a more responsible driver.  By allowing myself to discuss problems that I had while driving, and receiving feedback on how to handle some of them, made me believe that I could change old driving habits that I once thought were impossible to change.  

Participating  in a QDC is a real educational experience that teaches you how to manage your emotions by learning from other people's experiences.  This experience has really made me realize the importance of driving with emotional intelligence and I know that I will carry the knowledge I obtained for future applications.  

For those just starting a QDC, I recommend that you take full advantage of the time you have to discuss driving difficulties and strategies on how to maintain your composure and frustration while driving.  It is also important to write down everything you feel no matter how dumb it may sound.  QDC is the time for free writing, so feel free to write on whatever you like.

I have noticed through my experience that I have benefited a lot from this experience.  I have become more patient with other drivers and implement strategies to control my anger.  As a result I know that I'm a much more safer driver than before.

My Generations File

My Newsgroups File

My Oral Presentation File

My QDC Report

Icons Folder

My Class Home Page

Dr. Leon James Home Page